The Jobberknoll

Author's Notes: This story takes place during seventh year for the trio. It's mainly in Ron's point of view. It does use things from the fifth book, but I for one am sad to see Sirius go and am going to keep him alive, don't ask me how he lives he just does. He's one of my favorite characters. There will probably be a bit of sexual content in here - but nothing bad. As well as swearing… but most of it's going to be plain old fun. Not sure if this is R or PG-13, but I don't see R... The story starts in early October.

Several things are different from the books in this story, in addition to Sirius still being alive. Other differences include that McGonagall is not as old as she is in the books. Harry is prefect; and Voldemort is dead, as are Lucius Malfoy and the mainly all of the Death Eaters. I'll try and remember to stick a warning in an author's note if I change anything else along the way. (So, once again, please don't review that Harry isn't a prefect, McGonagall is way older than what I'm saying, or whatever.)

Summary: What happens when an assignment in Care of Magical Creatures makes Ron's life go a bit haywire?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything else in here that someone else owns. Just the plot and any new characters and stuff are mine!

Chapter 1
The stupid tiny bird.

"Well…" Hagrid said loudly to the class. It was early morning and everyone was shivering. It was so cold and they were outside of Hagrid's hut shivering in their shoes watching the clouds of smoke float away they made from breathing. "Terday's lesson is one I think yer all going ter love!"

Harry, Hermione, and I all glanced at each other with nervous expression. All hoping that the animal Hagrid would bring out wouldn't be very dangerous as it usual was.Hagrid turned around and pulled a tiny, blue, speckled bird out of a large cardboard box. Hagrid was smiling from ear to ear as he saw everyone was looking at it in a curious way and Hermione gasped which made everyone a bit nervous and I stepped back a bit.

"So who can tell me what this is?"

Hermione's hand shot up in the air almost whacking me in the head.

"Yes Hermione?"
"That's a Jobberknoll!"
"A Jobber… what?" I asked.

"A Jobberknoll is a bird usually found in Northern Europe and America. It is a tiny blue, speckled bird which eats small insects. It makes no sound at all until the time of its death. Which then it screeches extremely loud. And repeats random things that it has heard before. Not all things that it's heard before but some."

"Very good Hermione! 25 points fer Gryffindor!"

The Slytherin's sighed as all Gryffindors shot a bright smile or 'good job' look at Hermione. I and Harry just smiled at each other. Thankful for having such a smart friend. In fact if it wasn't for Hermione Harry and I would probably be dead. Especially since she basically saved our lives last year in the battle against the Dark Side.

"Now here's the assignment. You all er gonna have one Jobberknoll for each group yer in. Now here are the groups, when I call yer group one of yer come up and get yer Jobberknoll. Harry, Ron, and Hermione…"

At that point I paid no more attention at Hagrid. I was actually very interested in this bird. Hermione went up and got the bird.

I sighed smiling at Hermione when she walked back smiling at me and Harry holding the tiny bird in her hands gently. Oh, Hermione… I like her so much. There are a few things about Hermione I don't like. Such as how she's always wanting to do homework or go to the Library now that she doesn't have to worry about anything else such as making sure Harry and I don't get into to much trouble. But she's so beautiful. Her old bushy hair was tamed and pulled up, she wore makeup and it made her look sexy. Hermione had curves and a body that made model's jealous and how she was adventurous and an all around great person just made her even greater in my view.

"Ronald!" Hermione said laughing.
"Huh? Oh sorry! Uh… what were we talking about again? Oh, yeah. I know I got to study for the Transfiguration quiz for today. Why are you laughing?"
... Harry was on the ground rolling around laughing.
"No…" Hermione said trying hard not to laugh. "The, um, Jobberknoll pooped on your shoulder..." She then burst out into giggles.

Harry and Hermione were howling with laughter as I looked at my shoulder and made a disgusted face as I saw large brown terds were sliding down the shoulder of my robes. "DISGUSTING!" I shouted at the bird which was being held by Hermione. My feelings for the bird suddenly changed. THAT STUPID TINY BIRD!

Notes: I hope you all liked it! I'll start working on the next chapter soon. Please review! Thanks!

-- >Warpaint --