A/N: Due to, er... some time constraints, the Trio and Ginny shall not be writing a beginning authors' note this chapter. So I shall be thanking the reviewers from last chapter myself: Thank you reviewers. Also, IloveMoony04, I've got to say, your review was one of the funniest ones yet. I can personally tell you that the characters thoroughly enjoyed the e-armadillo (Ginny is going to take it to school as a pet...). Unfortunately, even though your random sentences were fairly buttonable (assuming for the moment that that is a word) I find that I don't like putting sentences from people's reviews directly into my story, so I apologize that your sentences did not make it into this chapter.

Chapter 20
The Final Battle

On the last night before they were to take the Hogwarts Express back to school, the four friends gathered once more in the computer room to write another installment of their fanfiction.

"Okay, well, we're quite down to the wire on this one," said Hermione, as everyone walked in. "We've got to finish this up fairly quickly so that we can get to bed soon. We want to be fully alert tomorrow on the train... you know, in case Malfoy tries to jinx us or something."

"Wouldn't put it past him," conceded Harry, "but I'm sure we'll be able to finish this chapter pretty quickly, don't you think? I mean, all we've got to do is put in a final battle scene, right?"

"You'd think so," said Hermione, "but you forget that this is the last chapter of our story, which was originally supposed to cover all of sixth year. Now, of course, we don't actually have enough time to write out more than one chapter, so we, like many of the actual fanfiction writers, will have to try to cram everything else that should have happened in our sixth year into this chapter."

"Fine, what else do we need to include?" asked Ron, skeptically.

"Well... of course we need to have two more Quidditch matches, and Ginny's got to take her O.W.L.'s. And of course, in the Quidditch matches, we should by no means feel obligated to have the same people on the team as were in the first match, because no self-respecting fanfiction writer would actually go back and check his or her own work to make sure that they were keeping consistent to their own story. There were probably a lot of other things as well, and if we happen to remember any of them, we'll put them in during this last chapter," said Hermione.

"All right, fine," said Ginny. "But as far as the actual battle itself goes, how should that look?"

"Well... The author usually tries to put in some suspense, and also has a lot of things happening at once. Therefore, by the way, our word of the chapter shall be 'suddenly.' And 'simultaneously.' We can have two words of the chapter, considering that this is the last chapter. And in the duel, we should use a lot of spells that our new DA teachers taught us. Except that, as far as I can recall, our new DA teachers only taught us one or two new spells that we mentioned, so we'll have to make up new spells for this final battle," explained Hermione.

"Okay, works for me. So, who's going to type this?" asked Harry.

"I will, but everybody should pitch in whatever ideas they have. I'll type whatever you guys say," said Hermione, who was apparently, just like any other fanfiction writer this close to the release of the sixth book, more concerned about putting something out there than having whatever it is make any actually coherent sense.

Suddenly, the Gryffindor Quidditch team had to play against Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw simultaneously. So, Madame Hooch released the 13 Bludgers, 17 Quaffles, 7 live bats, and 1 Snitch, to signal the beginning of the game.

The Gryffindor team's 4 beaters (The Weasley twins, plus Jack Sloper and Andrew Kirke) were all playing simultaneously. Cho Chang was playing as a Chaser instead of a Seeker, because the match will be easier for Gryffindor to win if they're the only team who has a seeker. Of course, Hufflepuff team had no Seeker, because Cedric Diggory had been their seeker, but he died.

As the game began Hermione (who was now, for some inexplicable reason, playing Chaser along with Ginny) scored 13 points for Gryffindor for getting a Quaffle into a goal guarded by a Hufflepuff Keeper as well as a Ravenclaw one. The reason that she got 13 points instead of the normal 10 is that as she put the goal through the hoop, she was simultaneously singing a Britney Spears song. You know how Hermione likes her Britney Spears.

Suddenly, Ginny was taking her written History of Magic exam while simultaneously riding on her broom and juggling 3 of the 12 Quaffles (yes, we realize that there had been 17 Quaffles, but the bats ate some of them already. We apologize for any inconvenience. Even though we really shouldn't have to take the blame, as it is the bats' fault.)

Suddeningly, Ginny put all 3 of the Quaffles she was juggling into different goal hoops, scoring 57 points for Gryffindor on the grounds that math has never been Madam Hooch's strong suit. Which put the score at 70 points for Gryffindor to 0 for Hufflepuff and 17 for Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw had gotten 17 points simply on the merits of how good-looking Cho Chang apparently is.

At this point, Cho decided that she was going to play Seeker after all, and started to try to find the Snitch. She spotted it. It seemed for a moment as if she might reach out and grab it, but if flew away from her and toward Harry. In fact, it looked like it would fly right into Harry's hand, except that then Cho came up to him and distracted him by engaging him in some mid-air passionate snogging.

Ginny, of course, was not jealous at all, because she's a lady of the night anyway and had never really specified that the relationship between herself and Harry was supposed to be exclusive. So, she engaged in some midair snogging with Michael Corner.

Suddenly, the Final Battle BeGan. Sicks Death Eeters pluss Lord Voldemort were suddenly flying on brooms around the Quidditch pitch simultaneously with the other players..

"What the hell is going on?" simultaneoused Ron and Harry.

"What, like you couldn't see this coming?" asked Lord Voldemort, as he successfully put the Quaffle past a befuddled Ron into the Gryffindor Goal. The score was now 70 to Gryffindor, 17 to Ravenclaw, 10 to the Deatheaters, and 0 to Hufflepuff.

Simultaneousingly, Snape fed Deamus the antidote for the piss-potion so that he would turn back into two people and prevent the story from having that loose-end heynging out there at the end.

One of the Death-Eaters, (We'll say Nott, for the sake of argument) tried to curse Harry, but was unable to because Fred and George knocked him unconscious via several of the bludgers.

Ginny was wearing a disrecount badge that said, "Anti-apparation spells add ten pounds to a camera." When pressered, it said, "Puffins swimmingly absent; embarrassingly ticklish," and, simultaneiously, "Eels slide; but not convincingly."

Simultaningly, Lucius Malfoy petrified Ron, who retaliated by stubbornly refusing to be petrified, mostly because it's really hard to aim a spell when you're on a broom, and so Lucius had missed Ron.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore stood up in the stands and announced that he had not told Harry the whole prophecy during the previous June. As a matter of fact, the following disclaimer applied to the prophecy. He read it out loud, in spite of the fact that in the previous book, he had seemed to be rather adamant that deatheaters should not know about the prophecy.

"The disclaimer to the prophecy is:

This prophecy is only fully accurate on Tuesdays.

On Mondays, it is only accurate when in the presence of a unicorn.

On Wednesdays, it is only applicable on Mars.

On Thursdays, it is only applicable on Venus, unless the half-blood prince is Luna Lovegood.

On Fridays, Voldemort is a prat.

On Saturdays, the Prophecy's basically the same except that Voldemort may not be killed using the guillotine or any spell whose incantation has the initials 'A.K.' Also, the whole thing is void if Voldemort is killed too close to a puffin.

And on Sundays, the propecy is void in all 50 states, except for Montana and Southern California, as well as Canada.

Furthermore: Quitting battling Voldemort now greatly reduces your risk of developing serious health problems in lab rats."

As no less than 500 sick lab rats scurried onto the field, Harry realized that today was a Saturday, which meant that he still might be able to kill Voldemort, as long as he hadn't been relying on French execution methods or the killing curse. Or puffins, apparently.

Which, of course, he had not.

But, at that very moment, every single death eater on the planet attempted to curse Harry.

But, of course, they all missed, because Harry simultaningeously went into a particularly splendid dive to attempt to capture the Snitch. He missed. Cho snogged Voldemort.

Harry quickly turned Voldemort into a trout using the spell that they had learned in Defense against the Dark Arts several chapters ago. Some of the other members of the Quidditch teams used similar spells that have not yet been discussed to turn Malfoy into a goat, Nott into a tree trunk, and Goyle into a potted whale.

None of the death-eaters left standing (or sitting on their brooms) knew how to prefoorm the "Phinite Incantatem" spell, and so they all watched in silent hooror as their dark Lord's gills flapped helplessly in an attempt to extract water from the air. The fish fell from his broom onto the Quidditch pitch.

And, of course, when Lord Voldemort died, everybody else in the world who had ever died for any reason, except for the mean ones, were brought back to life and taught how to tap-dance to the sound-track from The Garden State. Oh, and, right after he vanquished the Dark Lord, Harry caught the golden Snitch and suddeningly began to roast hot-dogs and marshmallows on an open grill.

Oh, and Ginny and Harry made up, even though they had not technically been fighting. Harry got down on one knee (that's right, he got down to one knee on his broom) and proposed to Ginny. She, of course, said yes. Ron, inspired by his success, asked Hermione to marry him. She agreed, but only if Ron would be more emotionally mature. Ron agreed.

The End.

A/N: Er. Right. So. That was it. Kind of a short chapter, but I think we got everything that was required into it. And thus ends our first attempt at a fan-fiction. We hope you like it. We also hope that absolutely nothing that happened in our fic actually happens to us at school this year. Er. Except for the buttons. Those were kind of funny.

A/N from Gryffindor777: All right. It's finished. It would've been done sooner if I hadn't wanted to get my more serious fanfiction done first (which I did). I would've put a little bit more in this chapter, except that I'm in a bit of a rush, and wanted to put this chapter up before I go to bed tonight so that everybody can read it on Friday the 15th before the book comes out. Please feel free to let me know what you thought about this chapter or the story as a whole. Oh, by the way, if anybody does end up reading the book before reading this, I just want to point out that I don't want any spoilers coming my way in reviews. Thanks. And, most of all, thanks to anyone and everyone who has read and reviewed this story. Be on the look-out for another parody along these same lines starting just as soon as I read enough bad seventh year fanfiction to become inspired.