I know, I know. I really should be writing my other fic. But this plot bunny has been bothering me for ages, so I thought I'd finally get down to doing it. The other one will be updated, I just need a little encouragement very bad hint going on here. Oh yeah, spoilers for HP book 5 (cos Rowling hasn't gotten the next stupid book out – grrrrrrrrr) and anything in LOTR. Enjoy the fic!

"speech" 'thoughts' --elvish--

Minas Tirith, Gondor, Middle Earth

Third age, year 3020

Precisely 1 year after the wedding of King Elessar and Arwen

As the sun set over the land of Gondor, its king and his wife were sitting down to a quiet, private meal. The sounds of the banquet bellow could clearly be heard all around, and yet the king and queen wished for nothing more than to spend mid-years day, as well as their first wedding anniversary, alone so they could quietly reflect on their lives up until this point.

It was Aragorn who was the first to break the silence. "Did you hear Mithrandir's news? Samwise Gamgee has finally got married to Rosie Cotton."

"He is a lucky man," replied the queen gently

"I wish that Mithrandir could have stayed for longer though, and given us some more news of the Shire. It would have been nice for him to be here to celebrate the passing year with us."

"Ah," replied the queen Arwen, a smile gracing her lips "But how would we ever have been able to keep him here for that long. After all, if he had stayed here for too long, then his precious supply of pipeweed may have run out, and even you know better than to get between that particular wizard and his weed."

"He is addicted! I may like to have the occasional smoke, every now and again," at this Arwen made a most unelvish noise, which Aragorn promptly ignored "but even I do not go to the extremes to which he seems to go to in order to receive a constant supply."

"Well I have known him for many more years than you, and I can safely say that he is never seen without his pipe. And I would really not like to see you try to take it off him."

"And why not?" said Aragorn, believing his wife to be taking the wizard's side in this matter.

Arwen leaned towards Aragorn and said quietly, as if divulging a massive secret. "Because I would be most displeased to have to oversee your guards cleaning your remains off our walls. The stains would never come off the tapestries."

Aragorn let out a raucous laugh, which threatened to go on for an age before settling down, and finally speaking "But it would be nice if at least one of my old companions would come for a visit some time. It would be a welcome treat indeed to see one of the hobbits, or even Gimli and Legolas."

There was a timid knock on the grand doors.

"Enter," Aragorn said, wondering what was so important that their private meal was being disturbed.

"My lord," one of the heralds said upon entering the hall and bowing. "There are two visitors here to see you. Should I tell them to come back later?"

"Who are they?"

"Prince Legolas of Mirkwood and Gimli son of Gloin."

Aragorn muttered something in Elvish so quietly that Arwen could barely hear him, something which could be roughly translated into modern English as "Speak of the devil". Nevertheless he sat visibly straighter in his chair at these words, just as Arwen rolled her eyes. Well at least they are not the hobbits Arwen thought to herself They cause more trouble than an entire council. At least these two only bicker. Arwen smiled: they might argue a lot about everything, but they were good friends despite their differences, however far down.

"Please show them in."

The herald bowed again, and backed himself out of the room, only to return a moment later with the two individuals he had spoken of. Aragorn quickly stood up, his wife following his example, and he held his arms open as he spoke.

"Come in," he said, beckoning them to sit with him "There is plenty of room at out table."

The elf and the dwarf came up to stand before Aragorn, and both briefly exchanged the formal greetings of their kind, before dispensing with the formalities ad settling for greetings more appropriate for friends than lords of their people.

"You must sit and eat, and regale us with tales of your adventures in the few months since we last parted. The last thing that I knew was that the two of you were going first to the glittering caves, and then on to the dark forest of Fangorn. Surely you have not completed your mission so soon."

Legolas looked into that honest and happy face. 'Kingship is obviously suiting him. I am very glad of it.' Legolas thought before continuing, not willing to disrupt Aragorn's pleasure at seeing the two of them. He started to speak, but the way that both he and Gimli continued standing alarmed Aragorn to the fact that they probably would not be staying as long as he had hoped.

"We did indeed make it as far as the glittering caves..."

"And what were your thoughts of them?" Arwen broke in suddenly, surprising all.

Legolas turned to Arwen startled "They were to be sure as beautiful as they had been described to me, milady. But...let me just say that I still feel that a cave is no place for an elf, especially this one."

"Humph," declared Gimli at this. "Just like a stuck-up elf not to admit to your true feelings. Cummon, we all know you loved them really."

Legolas apparently thought that now was a good time to bring the subject back to what it should have been, for the next thing he said was "After we were finished there I was led towards the home of Gimli, where I was welcomed. Despite the prejudice of many of the elders, and my father's actions little over sixty years ago. It would seem that many of the younger dwarves are much more liberal minded when it comes to the elven race."

"Of course they were, of course they were. Especially when they realised that their dear old uncle Gimli would remove their bodies from their stubborn little heads if they didn't at least try to be nice. That kind of thing does tend to attract everyone's co-operation."

"...and by that time our rations had all but run out..."

"Only because that idiot was so foolhardy as to drop it all in the river last night when he was boasting about how good his balance was on a piece of thin string held taught to breaking point over a raging river."

Arwen groaned inwardly. Some things never change. Was it too late to take back her statement about the hobbits?

"You made me fall in! I was drenched."

"Well at least I proved that your balance is not so good after all, heh."

"And why do you not try to balance on a rope that has just been cut in half! I think you will find balancing on a non-existent rope to be quite difficult."

"I suppose you would like to get to the point before this mere mortal dies of laughter." Aragorn choked out between guffaws. This was exactly what he had been looking forward to.

"Anyway," Legolas glared at the dwarf before continuing. "Since this was the nearest settlement we felt that we might as well come here for fresh supplies. But I regret to inform you that we do not intend to stay the night, and we have already received everything we need to complete out travels."

"Aye, and we just thought we'd come and say hello to you and your lady friend. We plan to leave in the next hour." Gimli finished for his friend. Aragorn bowed his head, his fears confirmed.

"Dou you know when you will return?" He asked, still hopeful that they would not be as long as they had been before. He was dying to hear some proper stories of adventure, and as his duties to Gondor prevented him from following one of his own, at least his friends could keep him entertained with their stories.

"A mere matter of months. Only however long it takes to journey to Mirkwood, from there to Fangorn and then back, allowing for perhaps a month spent in my fathers halls and under the various trees."

"Don't ye worry laddie, we'll be back before you know it. I for one have no intention of spending any more time than is necessary in the forests." Gimli spat out.

"I see that you have extended the same courtesy to Gimli as he did to you." Aragorn said to Legolas, surprised.

"Aye," said Gimli "But I only agreed because he threatened to tell the lady Galadriel what I said about her when he next saw her." To Aragorn's look he added "What! I was drunk!"

Aragorn smiled at the thought of Gimli spending time amongst the elves of Mirkwood, he could only imagine what the dwarf had been saying. Confessing his love for her and saying that maybe elves weren't so bad after all perhaps? Or maybe just a wish to kill her husband, Celeborn. "Well I wish you a safe and swift journey."

"Namárië Estel" Legolas bowed.

"Namárië Legolas"

"And the same to you too," huffed Gimli, upset at being left out of even a fraction of the conversation.

"Fare thee well Gimli. May your beard grow ever longer."

"Now those are words I can understand." He turned and started to leave. "Come on elf. Let us get this over with." And with that, and a pleading look from Legolas to Aragorn, they were gone.

The doors slammed shut, and the remaining couple sat back down to quietly finish their meal.

"I am sure that they will return soon with no more than a few bruises. And that will only be from pushing each other out of trees or into lakes. The evil holds sway over this world no longer."

"Yes, you are probably right my dear." Aragorn looked into his wife's eyes, grateful for the reassurance he desperately needed to hear. "But I still cannot quell the feeling that something terrible will happen. Something I do not think that someone will not live to regret."

Legolas was in high spirits. They had been making very good time indeed, and they had yet to meet any creature with ill will against them. Also they had just passed the first trees, which marked the border of Mirkwood. Somewhere down below him Gimli was shouting for him to come down, but he couldn't. He had not been in this forest, not felt its presence for almost three years, and however short that had been in elven years, he could not help but be overjoyed. He could feel the trees celebrating his return, and he knew it would only be a matter of minutes before an elf listening to the trees heard the news, and very soon there would not be an elf in Mirkwood who didn't know that their only prince had returned. It was very hard to sneak home when the whole forest tells of your arrival.

What made his return feel even better was the absence of its evil. Neither he nor the trees felt the evil presence of Dol Guldur any more, and the forest was celebrating.

"You stupid, half-witted elf." Gimli shouted up into the leaves above "Get down from there this instant before you get yourself killed."

Before he even finished his sentence Legolas suddenly appeared in front of him, as if by magic. "And how do you intend to keep me down here? It has been too long since I have been between these leaves, not even you can deny me of this pleasure now." He made to return to the branches high above, much higher than Gimli could climb even if he had tried his hardest. Gimli seemed to ponder hard about something, and even fight a battle within him, before blurting out

"Wait."

Legolas stopped and faced Gimli, one eyebrow raised, looking forward to hearing what the dwarf had to say.

"Teach me Elvish."

Lips quirking with unspoken laughter, Legolas was nonetheless extremely startled by this request.

"What?"

"You heard me! Anything would be better than listening to you prancing up above me."

"I was not prancing. And even if I was you could never have heard me. I am a wood elf." He said this as if it explained everything. "Not a clumsy elf from Rivendale. And I doubt you would have heard even them." Loyalties to his kingdom that he had not felt since council of Elrond were springing up as he came so close to his people.

"Teach me!"

"Sindarin or Quenya?"

Now it was Gimli's turn to look startled. "What?"

Legolas sighed. "There is no one Elvish language. Sindarin and Quenya are two totally different languages." Yet again he spoke as if everyone should know these tiny details of elven culture, and it was getting on Gimli's nerves.

"Just teach me how to say a phrase so I do not have to put up with your mad dancing for five measly minutes!"

"If you really insist." --The forest of Mirkwood should have its previous title of 'Greenwood the Great' restored to it, as it is the most beautiful place in Middle Earth. Much better than my cramped, dark, wet caves.-- "Happy now?"

They had walked several miles before Gimli managed to master the complex, especially by dwarven standards, pronunciation, and had finally committed to his memory all off the phrase. Legolas had been trying his hardest not to show any signs of his inner laughter, and even he could not contain the signs of mirth shinning in his eyes. Luckily Gimli was too absorbed in his studies to notice, but when he finally managed to say the whole phrase in one go, and with such conviction, Legolas could not contain himself. He practically shrieked with laughter, making Gimli deeply suspicious. He turned round to face Legolas, drew his axe and growled, "What did you make me say." His friend was too overcome with laughter to stand up straight, let alone answer properly.

They were both so occupied with their banter, that neither of them noticed that their noise had attracted the attention of other creatures in the realm. The spiders, who were amazed not only that they had been able to get so close to an elf without being discovered, but also at the behaviour of the two, finally decided that they would be easy prey, and pounced upon the two below them.

Legolas heard the spiders when it was already too late. Silently berating himself for expecting there to be no signs of the spiders that had constantly terrorised the wood around his home since before he was born, he quickly drew and strung his bow, immediately firing arrow after arrow into the mass of spiders now all around him. Gimli was already hacking away at their legs and heads with his pre-drawn axe as soon as they came within his range. The two friends were fighting in their most effective manner, back to back as they had done so many times before, and the spiders soon saw that they could not get close to either one of them, despite their numbers. So they set about separating them.

'I should have been listening closer, paying more attention. If I had not been so intent on confusing Gimli then I would have noticed them long ago, and we would never have been forced into such close combat. If only...' Legolas' thoughts were interrupted by a dwarven cry far behind him, much further than it should have been, and he turned to see that he had been separated from Gimli, effectively cut off from his friend. He also saw that the aforesaid dwarf was in trouble.

"Gimli" Legolas cried out too late, for as he watched a spider behind the dwarf jumped towards him, and stabbed his victim in the back. Gimli continued fighting, but his wound slowed him down, and eventually he was dealt with a fatal wound. He collapsed onto the ground, and moved no more.

Legolas had been shooting arrows faster than the eye could see from the moment he heard Gimli's cry, desperately trying to close the large space between them. His arrows spent, he drew his twin blades and started slashing at the spiders, barely caring if they came close enough to poison him. When he saw Gimli fall he became, if it was possible, even more determined to kill every spider in his path. Eventually he made his way over, and he stood over Gimli, a dangerous glint in his eye while he faced his enemies, daring any one of them to come close. Surrounded on all sides with spiders, it was a moment before he noticed great patches of the spiders were dying, and it wasn't until the spider before him, just as it was about to attack, drop dead with an arrow between its eyes that he noticed that help had come at last. Hidden by the leaves above him were elves, clad in the green garb of the archers of Mirkwood. It did not take long for the practised elves to kill the remaining spiders, and soon there was not a live one left in the clearing.

As soon as the danger was past, Legolas dropped his weapons and fell to his knees beside Gimli. "You must be alive. You must. You can not die like this, not after everything that we have been through." He kept saying to himself, over and over as he checked for any signs of life. One of the warriors came forward to help his prince, but there was no doubt in his or anyone's mind that the dwarf was dead.

Legolas sobbed, tears running freely down his cheeks as he gathered Gimli up in his arms, cradling him as if the very action would bring him back.

"Gimli."

Well? Like? Hate? Want to disembowel me swiftly? At least tell me what you think so I know whether to hide or not :-D