Disclaimer: Je n'ai pas Inuyasha. Je n'ai jamais eu Inuyasha. Je ne l'ai pas fait. Comprenez? Non? Mais oui.
A/N: —Grins and bows to medlii— Praise, my goodness. My head will swell. Been meaning to ask… is that like Medli on Zelda Windwaker?
Okay. Next chapter up! You guys remember the magic trick, with the little ball and the three cups? Ever seen the magician make people guess which cup it's in? Ever wonder how they do it?
Here's a theory…
7
Round And Round And Round It Goes…
Hyakunan's ears pricked. There was a struggle in the clearing up ahead—some sort of argument, in vehement, whispered voices. One guy, one girl. From the sound of it, if it wasn't physical already, it would be very soon.
Yikes—got here just in time. Fortunately, Hyakunan could put a stop to that. Focusing on the wrangling pair, the green-haired boy whispered under his breath, keeping his thoughts calm, serene, sleepy… you are getting veeeeery sleepy…
He rather liked that line. If he'd known which human had thought it up, he might have thanked him.
A moment more.
The next two sounds were soft, consecutive thwumps. Hyakunan grinned, then skittered closer.
The waning firelight distorted some of the colors, but he felt fairly certain that he'd found them. The young man sprawled out cold between the embers and an equally unconscious young woman definitely had some sort of power; it seemed a little odd, but then again Hyakunan still wasn't used to the peculiarities of this strange place. And in any case, he thought the man was strong enough in his power to be a hanyou.
The boy narrowed his mismatched eyes, creeping closer to the two sprawled figures. Yes, this had to be Inuyasha; he had a little dog-tail at the back of his head, and the loose robes he was swathed in glowed reddish in the firelight. He had no idea what Kagome looked like, but from Shippou's description—beautiful, kind, provider of candy—he judged that this was probably her.
They both smelled fairly human, oddly enough… but that was probably just the girl. Her scent was all over both of them. Must've been some argument. Besides, who knew how human a hanyou smelled?
Hyakunan pulled the potion from his pocket and carefully uncorked it.
Wait. What did the old miko say…?
Drat. How did it work? He racked his brains.
Er… ah… oh! 'Apply to eyes… and… ears'? Oh well. Should work. He shrugged and dabbed a bit on the boy's eyelids and gold-pierced ears.
A hiss worthy of any rattlesnake stopped him when he turned to the girl. He jumped backward reflexively, and a cream-colored ball of fur deposited itself into his vacant spot as soon as he did. The furball laid back its ears and hissed again, crimson eyes promising trouble.
"Shoo!" he hissed back, gesturing uncertainly at it with one foot. "You're not helping, y'know!"
The fur emitted a distinctly feline growl, lashing twin black-striped tails. In any other circumstance, Hyakunan probably would have found this funny; this cat-thing was barely half his size. Unfortunately, it also had teeth and claws, both of which it had pointedly displayed.
"Hey, kitty—fetch!" He pretended to throw something over its head, hoping that all housepets fell for the same tricks.
The cat sneezed deprecatingly.
"C'mon… I promise I won't do anything bad…" It occurred to him that he was arguing with a creature that licked its own behind. "Don't make me do something not nice—"
It hissed ominously.
"Fine, fine… hey, if you let me by I'll give you fish…"
One ear flicked forward.
"And cream?"
The other ear followed suit.
"And—" Neither of them got to find out what else he was willing to bribe the little fluffball with, because they both froze at the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching.
"Drat…" Hyakunan whisked out of sight. Oh, well, it should turn out all right, he consoled himself. Inuyasha was the major problem anyway, right?
………………………………………
Rrrrrrr, I could kill him! Kagome seethed, stamping as hard as she could over the soft forest floor in an effort to convey just how much she wanted to go back to a certain insensitive, foulmouthed, and presently squashed hanyou and sit him another couple hundred times. WHAT is his problem? I don't go around LOOKING for fights! Why does he have to walk around with his head up his ass all the time? That—that—oooooooooooh!
More walking, this time without the heavy percussion. Why does he have to be so rude? I mean, he's usually rude, but not… mean. Not mean at all. She bit her lip. He didn't use to act this way… why? He used to act like he… cared…
She realized that she could see dim light, and headed toward it. Maybe it or whoever had made it would help clear her stupid mind of stupid wishes about stupid, stupid Inuyasha.
At first she walked quietly; she'd run across nasty things in the woods often enough, the least of which were bandits, and she wasn't that good with a bow. Then she recognized a very large boomerang, a very tiny nekoyoukai, and a silky purple houshi's robe.
"Sango? Miroku?" Neither of the two lumpy figures lolling near the campfire embers indicated that they'd heard her. She approached cautiously, wary both of the taijiya's somewhat nervous—all right, paranoid—reactions and the houshi's penchant for feigning sleep in order to draw in prey. "You okay?"
They'd fallen asleep next to each other. Kagome marveled at her best friend's lack of foresight—that is, until she noticed the disheveled state of both their clothes.
A flush instantly smacked itself across the girl's face. Whoa—that… this… She took a bit of a self-assessment, and realized that she wasn't really all that surprised. Guess I should've seen it coming sooner. Against all logic, she had to swallow a fit of pure envy. It didn't taste that good, either. Sango, I wish I were you… even with Miroku. He loves you; an idiot could see it. And I'm…
Sigh. No use denying it. Any of it.
In love with an idiot.
They still weren't moving. Kagome knelt down next to them, a frown creasing slightly between her eyebrows. Vaguely she remembered that she was supposed to be upset with them for running off, but it didn't seem very pressing right now. "You guys? You okay?"
Nothing. She doublechecked their breathing, then Miroku's pulse. "C'mon, guys, wake up… this isn't funny…" She shook his arm for emphasis.
And squeaked at the feel of a hand on her rump.
"Kyaaaa!" She lashed out out of reflex. The houshi at her feet didn't even open his eyes, despite the brand-new handprint on his face. It was already turning a lovely shade of crimson.
"Kagome-sama," Miroku murmured. "Are you all right?"
She reminded herself that mashing his head into the ground would not solve any problems. "Hai, Miroku-sama. You—er, startled me."
"Gomen nasai, Kagome-sama. Forgive me for causing you dismay."
"It's all right," she assured him, smiling faintly at his ever-present charm. "Are you okay? You were out pretty good there for a minute."
"I'm fine, Kagome-sama. I only needed rest." He opened his eyes, focused on her.
For some reason, the way he widened those violet eyes made her want to put a little more distance between her rear and that hand of his.
"You swear that you aren't upset?" he asked, capturing one of her hands in both of his.
"No, really. Well, not because of you." She tried to get her hand back. He hadn't done this—to her, anyway—in months. What was up?
His expression darkened ever so slightly. "Inuyasha? Where is he?"
She shrugged. "Somewhere back there." And I hope he's got a headache and five charley horses.
"Moron," the houshi muttered, propping himself up on his arms. "To treat you so despicably… Kagome-sama, you don't deserve such behavior."
"Miroku," she protested gently. "He—well…"
"Kagome-sama, I cannot allow him to hurt you so anymore," Miroku overrode her. "When I see him next, I'll teach him better manners."
"Miroku," she scolded, startled at his intensity. "He's your friend!"
"Not when he treats you this way." He knelt facing her, like a rather bizarre Lancelot to Guinevere. "I love you too much to allow any further harm to come to you."
Kagome would have bet money that hadn't been minted yet that her face had no color whatsoever. At least, that's what she would have thought if most of her brain hadn't been reduced to yammering oatmeal.
"Wh… what?" she yelped finally.
"I love you."
The yammering stopped, but nothing tried to fill its shoes. "Buh… b…" An idea occurred to her, and she lunged desperately at it. "Miroku, if this is a joke, it isn't funny! You—I—Sango—"
"Sango will forgive me, I am sure, when I explain the matter to her. And you must forgive me also; I know she is your friend, but she cannot hope to match your beauty. Your grace. Your—"
The color had returned to Kagome's face. En masse. This was entirely too much for one night. "Listen, Miroku, we all know you're so very amusing, but I'm serious. Cut it out." What the hell? This wasn't his normal 'will-you-bear-my-child' schtick. He comes up with a new routine, and then he decides to try it out on me. The bastard.
He assumed a soulful expression. It might have worked if it hadn't been the same one he used when Sango slapped him for lechery. "I am being serious, Kagome-sama. My life is yours."
"If you don't cut it out right now I'm going to cut it out for you," she ground out, little sparks of fury beginning to float across her vision.
"I'm afraid I could sooner cut out my heart than abandon you, Ka—"
POW went Kagome's fist across the houshi's face. He collapsed to the side in a very puzzled heap.
"You—jerk! What the hell is wrong with you now? If it's not one asshole picking on me, it's the other one!"
"Koibito, wha—"
WHAM. Other fist. Twice as hard. "What did you say?"
"K—"
"Just shut up!" Tears were stinging her eyes like fire from that one word. How stupid was that? She was crying because of one word—because it wasn't coming from the guy she wanted. "Leave me alone! If you ever come near me again, or call me that—" she punctuated herself with a kick to the protesting houshi's ribs "—I swear I'll… I'll…"
She couldn't summon any words horrific enough to describe Miroku's fate at her hands should he disobey her. She settled for storming off through the nearest thicket of branches, not caring whether she were walking through reeds or nettles in her fury. She couldn't even hear Miroku gather up his staff and chase after her, holding his head and calling her name.