Author's Note: Greetings! I'm back in the city and having a rather exciting next few days. My friend is visiting me, and then my Mom. Exchange life if fun.

May I apologize in advance. This writing program has no spell check, but it's the only thing I am able to write with. I check over it when I'm done, but if I've missed anything, please forgive me.

I have a feeling some of these reviewers are going to absolutely KILL me because of this chapter, but this is the only way I have been able to see it coming for a while. I was so torn up with what I should do, I actually flipped a coin. I think it's better that it happened this way.

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So Goku had turned 18. That was obviously the high point of the next two months, but in May we were to be married. I was counting down the days in such flurry I thought I'd die from anticipation.

Goku seemed anxious too. I didn't like to talk to him about it because it usually ended up that he would be stuttering endlessly by the end of the conversation. I usually gave up then went to talk to Mom.

It was a warm spring day with the sun shinning and the birds chirping. It was a happy day. I had the day off from work and Goku would get off his shift early, around 2 pm or so. We decided a picnic in the park wouldn't be a bad choice. Before he came home that day, I had packed our bag and we walked hand in hand to the park. We set up our picnic spot on top of the hill that overlooks the entire city.

"Look! I can see my house!" Goku said excitedly.

"My love, the house is at the bottom of the hill."

We sat down and ate our sandwiches and talked about a whirlwind love affair Ashley and Jason (two people we work with at the restaurant) were having.

"Ashley is a whore," I said with my house full of roast beef sandwich. "Jason deserves better."

"Ashley was hitting on me the other day." Goku said nodding and staring at his apple. "Take a chance with me! I'll show you the time of your life! Leave your worries and your bitch behind!" He said in a high, irritating voice, supposedly that of Ashley. "I guess since I wouldn't give her the time of day she looked for easier prey."

"Yeah, since Jason and his girlfriend just broke up her must be looking for a little bit of affection. Poor guy. If I weren't tied down I'd show him a bit of a good time myself." I said, looking up from my sandwich and into Goku's face. He raised an eyebrow.

"It's a figiure of speech."

"And your damn lucky I failed Literature." He said, stuffing his face with a sandwich.

We sat there in silent thought for a minute. "Hey! Remember Will from Biology?" I nodded. "Well, I saw him today. He's having a party tonight over at his place. Ya know, on 5th street?" I nodded again. "He wanted me to ask you if you wanted to come."

I thought about it for a minute. I had to work in the morning at 6. "Sure, why the hell not?"

At about nine, I changed into a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt and we went over to Will's house.

"Heeey! There's my buddy! Glad you could make it!" Said a moderately drunk Will. "Come in, grab a beer!"

I followed closely behind Goku. I didn't know many of these people, but the ones I did know I was happy to see. I sat down with Bryan, a nice gay kid from my old Literature class and we talked for a while. Life for him was going good. His boyfriend bought a place on the other side of town and after this year he was going to live with him.

"So!" He said clapping his hands together. "When's the baby due?"

"September or so. Maybe early October. It all depends really." I said, taking a swig of my orange juice. "So is your boyfriend here?"

Bryan nodded and pointed to a fine looking guy over by the door talking to another guy. "Humph!" Bryan pouted. "He knows I hate it when he does this to me..."

I smiled and moved on to talk with other people and I absorbed the gossip atmosphere. Goku was sitting on the couch and I had to go to the bathroom. "Goku, keep my drink for me okay?" I said, setting it on the table beside him. He nodded and went back talking to some guy I didn't know.

I went to the bathroom and came back out to my drink. When I got to the couch, I sat on Goku's lap and he kept talking. I look another drink of my orange juice. I sighed. This party was boring. I got up and went over to talk to Reese, a friend of Krillin's who I almost dated once.

I continued to drink my orange juice and his face got fuzzier and fuzzier. His voice disipated to a whine, and the next thing I could remember was being in a bedroom. I was alone, and was able to tell that I was fully dressed. I passed out and couldn't remember anymore.

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When I woke up, I saw I was in a white room with two chairs in the corner, on of them was occupied. It was Mom. I openned my eyes a little wider and saw Goku at my side, asleep and holding my hand. I stroked his hand with my thumb and his eyes fluttered open.

He stared at me with an astonished, happy look in his eyes. "Mom!" He nearly shouted. "She's awake!"

"What happened?" I asked groggily.

"You passed out at the party. Do you remember Will's party?" He asked.

"Yeah. I remember Bryan and his boyfriend," Goku rolled his eyes. "and you were talking to some guy and then I talked to Reese and that's it."

"I found you on Will's bed." He said slowly.

My eyes shot open. "Did I...?

"No," he interuppted. "the doctors ran a few tests on you, and you weren't... you know."

"I'll go get the nurse." I heard Mom say over in the corner. "She told me to come and get her once you had woken up."

Goku and I couldn't stop looking into each other's eyes. I knew how scared he must have been and how much of a pain in the ass it must have been.

"What time is it?" I asked him softly.

He looked to his new watch. "5 am."

"But...I have to be at work in an hour."

"Like hell. I called and left a voice mail at around four excusing both of us. You're not going to work for a while."

"Don't you love the fringe benefits of being in a hospital?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

The nurse came in and took my arm. She took my blood presure, my temprature, and looked at my eyes. Aparently everything was to her satisfaction because she nodded happily after every test.

She flashed a smile at me. "You had an ultra sound planned in three days. We can do that today if you like."

I nodded excitedly. This ultra sound was supposed to tell me the sex of the baby.

"Great," She said. "I'll send a wheelchair for you around 11 am, sound like a plan?"

"Yes!" I said excitedly.

"If your feeling a bit restless, I can send for one now and you can go around the hospital a bit."

I looked at Goku and he shrugged. "Why not?" He answered for me.

Five minutes later I was helped out of bed and into the wheelchair. I bumped my IV trying to get out and I screamed like a bitch. I hate needles.

Goku pushed me around for a while, and we found a waiting room with a large window facing the east. We waited and waited, and then...the sun broke over the landscape. We watched the sun rise slowly in the sky.

"It's been months since I've been able to see a sunrise." Goku said.

"Yeah, me too."

He pushed my wheel chair through different wards, and once we had done a whole floor, we went to the next one up. The heart attack ward was the scariest of them all. Paled faced, grey haired women were weeping by certain rooms.

A red light flashed at the nurses station and two doctors sprang into action. The ran past us and into room 305. They wheeled an old man out of the room and ran down the hall. "Call ER!" Only of the doctors yelled going past the nurses station.

It broke my heart to see all these people dying, but I knew it was part of life.

When Goku and I had done everything except the ground floor, we took an elevator all the way to the bottom and looked around in reception a bit then down a light pink hallway with doors scattered farther apart than normal. In the middle of the ward, there was a large sitting room with toys, coloring books, and parenting magazines on the tables. I knew this had to be the maternaty ward.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to a window on the far side of the sitting area.

"Beats me." Goku said, rolling me towards it.

I was too short in my wheel chair to see into the window, but from the soft smile Goku had on his face, I knew it was something I should see.

I stood up slowly and uncertainly and looked through the windows. The room on the other side contained tiny beds with plastic sides and either a light pink or a baby blue blanket. On the head of the little beds had a card with little names on them. And in every little bed, was a newborn baby.

I cooed and looked at them all with a happy heart. I tried to decide which was the cutest of them all, but I couldn't. They were all so incredibly ugly in the wonderfully beautiful way.

I noticed a touch on my stomach. Goku put his hand on my small belly and smiled. I beamed up at him. We kissed the best kiss I've ever had in my entire life.

ººº

At 11 when the nurse cam around to do my ultra-sound, I was asleep. I was slowly poked and prodded by Goku to wake up.

"Hello!" Said a balding doctor with blue eyes. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah." I said stretching.

"Are you ready for your ultra sound?"

"You know it!" I said a bit to anxiously.

I pulled my hospital gown up and covered my lower half with my sheets. He poured a cold liquid on my stomach and I shivered. He took a thing that looked like a flat hose head attachment that my Dad used for gardening and put it on my stomach. Goku grabbed my hand in anticipation.

My world went silent when I saw a little something on the screen. The doctor moved the receptor thingy around on my stomach. He pointed every once and a while to point out things.

"Want to know the gender?" The doctor asked.

"Yeah! Goku answered for me.

The doctor moved around a bit and said, "Ah ha! There we are!" He smiled at us. "It's a girl."

I looked at Goku and smiled a surprised smile at him. He smiled back.

The doctor looked at the screen again and frowned. He put the steth-o-scope to his ears and listened to my stomach. He moved the instrument around many times, his frown getting bigger every time.

He put the ultra-sound thing to my stomach again and looked hard.

"What?" Goku asked.

The doctor looked at us with fear in his eyes. "The baby has no heartbeat."

I felt like my heart had stopped and I felt tears stinging my eyes.

"Doctor," Goku said. "Can you check again?"

"I've checked young man, I don't..."

"I SAID CHECK AGAIN!" He shouted, tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I won't lie to you."

He fell in his seat again and tears rolled down his cheeks. I sat up in the bed and held him close. I sobbed quietly and listened to his shaky breathing. I had to be strong for him. I couldn't leave his side.

"I can schedule a surgery for this afternoon." The doctor said quietly. I looked to him and nodded.

I moved over in my bed and let Goku lay down with me. We held each other until 3, when the nurses took me away for surgery. He followed them, and just as I was going to go through the big white doors, Goku shouted "I'll be here for you when you wake up."

"Count backwards from 100." said a surgeon, placing a mask over my mouth and nose.

I woke up in the room I was originally in and saw Goku by my bedside yet again, but this time we was awake and looking at my face.

"How do you feel?" He asked weakly. I noticed his eyes were red and puffy.

"Okay I guess." I sat up a little sore in my abdomen. "What time is it now?"

"A little after 8." He said.

"At night?"

"Yeah."

I sat there surprisingly calm and searched around for the TV remote. Goku handed it to me from the table over where Mom was sitting. She had her head on the table and looked asleep.

I watched a re-run of Friends but was careful not to laugh because of the pain. Sub-consciously, I put a hand to my stomach and began to rub. I looked down with a start. There wasn't a bump there. It was my flat stomach.

That's when I realized I had lost the baby. I lost the baby like I had dropped my watch to the bottom of the ocean. There wasn't any getting it back.

My eyes filled up with tears and I grabbed Goku's hand. He looked at me.

"I wanted to be a Mom." I whispered. He pulled me into a tight hug. "I wanted to be a Mom!" I shouted miserably.

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Author's Note: Puts a hand over her mouth in desbelief> I hate myself for writing that, but I believe it was the right way. You can flame me, I don't care, but believe me, I DO HAVE A PLAN. And believe it or not? This story is coming to an end faster than I'd imagined.

Thanks to everyone for giving me strength to keep writing. I think I found my spark again. My inspiration again, that is. Thanks so much. It shouldn't be long until I have another chapter up.