A/N: Hello all! I'm Katy! This is my first (probably only, lol) Gravitation fic. So..you know, be nice! So, this being my first, I should warn you, the characters might seem OOC. Hehe...(okay, they're very OOC, but this is a first, gimme a break). Anywho, this is a very special ficcy, it took me most of the summer to write, lol. It's actually dedicated to one of my very best friends, Ravens! ( aka WannaKnownLee). We really can't thank her enough, she's helped us out alot and been there for us, so now it's our turn to return the favor and be there for her. So, alright yeah...on with the fic!
The Worst Day Ever Without Exception Forever And Ever
By: KatyChan
Co-authored by: Burnfist and PlayingMyRole
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. Burnfist and I would've done something else if we did.
"He's coming!"
"Is everyone ready?"
"We're ready!"
"Locked and loaded over here."
"Please put that down Mr. K."
"Kumagarou says he's ready."
"Alright then...here he comes...everyone quiet..."
After one bathroom-run, two sneezes, and three coughing fits, everyone had finally managed to keep silent for more than a few seconds. They easily caught the light sound of footsteps approaching, and tensed, ready to spring up as soon as the lights were turned on. The door was eased open in a painfully slow manner, and the occupants were gradually able to make out the general silohuette of the figure in the door
"Surprise--Hey! You're not Yuki!"
Unfortunately, the man who came in turned out to be someone who looked only similar to Yuki. "Eh? What are you all doing in aniki's place?"
"Tatsuha?" Everyone began to groan and complain in annoyance. Tatsuha, however, did not pay any attention to him. All his attention was drawn to the childish vocalist right next to Shuichi.
"RYUICHI-SAMA!" Tatsuha, feeling a rush of excitement surge throughout his body, ran to his idol. Then another appeared appeared in front of the doorway, one with golden blonde hair and devious amber eyes: Yuki Eiri.
Finally taking notice, Shuichi yelled, "Surpriiiisse..." However, this surprise did not have the impact of the last one, mainly because everyone had their backed turned to the door when Yuki entered the room. Shuichi, frustated with Tatsuha's interference, turned and pointed accusingly at Tatsuha, "Look what you did! You made us waste the good surprise on you!" However, once Tatsuha set his eyes on his Ryuichi, he could never take them off, therefore dismissing anything Shuichi yelled. Seeing that he could not get through to the hopless Ryuichi fanboy, Shuichi turned back to Yuki, "Why'd it take you so long to get here?"
"Well...there were millions of guards outside my apartment checking me. They all searched me and took pictures of me in my birthday suit...geez..." Yuki said, annoyance in his voice.
"I didn't ask them to do that..." The confused Tohma told him, as he was the one who brought the guards to ensure the 'safety' of his brother-in-law.
"Then who--" However, he stopped short in mid-sentence and realized that there was only one person who would ask the guards such a ridiculous request. He turned to Shuichi, who smiled sheepishly at his angered lover. "...YOU DAMN BRAT!"
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After a while the party started off nicely. Music played loudly, people were eating and talking and having a good time. Then everything came to an abrupt halt as Shuichi entered the room. Even the music came to a screeching halt. In Shuichi's hands where numerous cones; each one having a rubber band at the opened side. "Alright, party hats for everyone!"
"...party hats?"
"What the f...?
"Here's one for the birthday boy!" Shuichi took out a hat out of random and snapped it onto Yuki's head. The rubber band hit Yuki's chin with a painful snap.
"Ow!" Ignoring Yuki's painful yelp, Shuichi moved onto his next victim..
"And here's one for Tohma!" ...and snapped another party hat onto his head.
"Itaiii!"
"And here's one for Mr. K!" Just as he was about to snap the hat onto his head, he stopped as Mr. K held up a magnum to Shuichi's head. Shuichi, feeling uneasy with the cold barrel glued to his forehead, simply yet shakily handed Mr. K his hat. "...or maybe I can just hand it to you, hehe.."
"Good boy!"
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"Okay! It's time for games!"
Soon everything became deafly quiet. Even the crickets that were supposed to make that awkward silence noise went quiet. Well everyone but Ryuichi, "Yay! I love games!"
"The name of the game is Pin the Tail on the Aizawa-ata," After announcing the title of the game, Shuichi stepped back to reveal Aizawa, bound by rope and hanging from the ceiling. "Either you hit him with a bat, or pin the tail on his butt...blindfolded of course, to get the candy out of his shirt." Though anyone would find this cruel and unusual, everyone liked the idea. After all, who in the right mind would like Taki Aizawa? And so, everyone lined up and prepared to beat the stuffing out of the former droopy-eyed teen sensation.
Everyone took turns either hitting Aizawa with the bat or poking him in the butt with the pin. There were who some who hit and some who missed. Those who missed more than likely hit someone else. For the most part, it went pretty smoothly...that is...until Ryuichi got hold of the bat. He took one powerful swing at Aizawa and missed. He swung again, but missed it was yet another miss. Unbeknownest to him, when he missed Aisawa, he accidently slammed the bat into Shuichi's gut. Shuichi yelped in pain, causing him to accidently toss up the pin he was holding. Mr. K, oblivious to what was going on, did not notice the pin coming towards him. Unfortunately, the pin dove right into the very hand that held his magnum. The painful sting caused him to scream in pain and drop his louded magnum. As soon as the handgun hit the floor, a bullet rocketed toward Aizawa. Luckily for him, it narrowly missed him, but the speeding bullet made impact with the rope, causing the rope holding his body in the air to break. He then landed with a loud thud and the candy in his shirt came pouring out.
For a moment there was silence, then after noticing the candy spread all over the floor...
"CANDY!" ...piled onto Aizawa, who helplessly yelped in pain.
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After the sadistic yet satisfying game, Shuichi went into the kitchen to get Yuki's birthday cake. He gave Mika a digital camera and asked her to take a picture as soon as he walked out with the cake. He then headed for the kitchen...not realizing what was going to happen. When he gave the signal, Mika snapped the photo. After taking picture, she tried to search for the a picture of the cake on the camera. However, there was something wrong about it. The picture look a little awkward. It almost looked like Shuichi was swimming in...ooze.
"Is there something wrong the camera?" She asked Shuichi. However, when she looked up from the camera, she realized that there was nothing wrong with camera at all. That picture of Shuichi tossing in ooze was not awkward at all. The only thing awkward was that the ooze...was the cake...
Everyone's eyes wided and it soon turned into chaos as they all scurried around looking for a safe place to hide from the "ooze" since it had basicaly begun to devour everything in sight. K took out his magnum and tried to blast the monster, but his attempt at destroying had failed. The bullets didn't seem to effect the big ooze at all. Sakano spazzed out in horror, crying that he could protect his president while Ryuichi and Kumagoro held each other close like the kid he was.
However, Yuki did not seem to be horrified by this turn of events. In fact, he was more angry at Shuichi for messing up the cake. Still, the calm author had a bright idea. He turned to his sister and said, "Hey, I need a cup of coffee."
"That's nice...asking for a cup of coffee while a blob monster takes control of your apartment."
"Just get me some goddamn coffee!"
By now, everyone had huddled up together in a corner, hoping that one small piece of left over wood from furniture would protect them all. The ooze monster crept up to the helpless bunch, watching them all cower in fear at it's...ooziness. Then, just as it was about to reach them, Yuki poured his cofee all over the blob monster, causing the mutant cake to settle. When it was all over, everyone let out a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, the entire ordeal had plastered the appartment with cake.
Still, that did not prevent Shuichi from taking a handful of cake and tasting it. "Hmmm...it tastes much better then I expected it to!" Everyone gave him a very awkward look, but they were a little curious so they all took a scoopful of cake. They all agreed...
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...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOO YOUUUUUUUU!
Soon, the birthday song ended. Now it was time for the part that everyone but Yuki enjoyed. "Time for presents!" Yuki rolled his eyes, knowing that he was going to get something bad from everyone. Luckily for him, almost everyone forgot to get him a present. Still, there were three presents that he had to worry about...and they were from Ryuichi, Tohma, and of course Shuichi.
"I got this for you, so you'll always wake up with a smile!" Ryuichi cheerfuly said with a big smile. And so he handed over a bright yellow pillow with a smiley face on it. Under the giant smiley, several words were embroidered on it: 'Friends Are Special Gifts'. Yuki gave the hyper vocal god a very long awkward stare and slowly took the pillow from him.
Next came Tohma. He came in with an odd present. "It's a Yuki Protection System. Everytime someone touches you, the alarm goes off, just like any good car alarm." Yuki had very bad feeling about this, but Tohma insisted on testing it out so he helped him set it up. When it was all set, Shuichi gave Yuki a kiss on the ear...causing Yuki to flare up in anger for that was his weak spot. Of course...he still had that alarm system on...
"YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO THE YUKI! PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM THE YUKI OR YOU SHALL FACE DIRE CONSEQUENES!" Unfortunately, it was a LITTLE too loud for everyone, which caused everyone to cover their ears in order drive out the noise.
"TURN IT OFF!"
Soon, Tohma was forced to turn it off. "There. You like it?"
"Uh...yeah...thanks...I'll just put it away right now..." Yuki nervously told him. Of course, he did not let Tohma hear the last part, "...and never take it out again..." Last, but not least, was Shuichi's present.
"Surprise! I made it myself!" It was exactly what Yuki had envisioned. It was a giant homemade mug covered in childish pictures of him and Yuki. Once again, Yuki took one long stare at his lover and put away the mug...praying that it would be all over. Like that'll happen...
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Everyone had taken a seat around the living room area, where eveything was moved aside for a little play starring the most childish vocalist of all time. "And presenting...'The Little Lost Bunny!'" After Shuichi was done announcing the title, Ryuichi came out through a door donned in a bunny costume and a basket full of carrots. There was great silence in the room. Heck, even those crickets were silent, but at least Noriko had the nerve to clap for him. As Ryuichi began, Shuichi left the room to get ready for his act.
"Ladidida...How lovely it is that my birthday is on such a great day! There is sun and grass, and the carrots are so delicious! Yum!" On cue, he took a big bite out of one of the carrots. "Oh no! It's getting late! I should head home...only...where is home? Oh no no, I seem to be lost!" He soon began to fake a cry when Shuichi soon arrived, now dressed in a puppy costume.
"Oh! Why, there's a wittle bunny crying! I wonder why he would be so sad on such a pretty day?" Shuichi, trying to act concerned, came closer to Ryuichi and tapped the bunny's shoulder. "Why what's the matter wittle bunny? What makes you cry on this wonderful day?"
"Sniffle...I was picking carrots...and...sniffle...on my way home and then I...sniffle...got lost!" He cried even harder this time as he hugged the puppy.
"Aw...it's okay. I'll help you find your way home!" The play went on for a few minutes as the puppy helped the bunny get home. Their audience just kept staring at possibly something more scarier than that blob monster a few second ago.
Speaking of the blob monster, Fujisaki got up to get a drink. On his way to the refreshments, he didn't noticed that there was still cake on the floor from what had happened earlier and he completely slipped on it. The muck he slipped on hit Tohma in the face, causing him to eye Fujisaki viciously. Fujisaki shrugged as if it weren't a big deal, but Tohma couldn't let him get away with it. Instead, Tohma bent over and picked up some of cake goo and hurled it at his cousin. Fujisaki quickly ducked, but didn't realize that by ducking the piece made contact with Ryuichi, who was bowing with Shuichi concluding their play. Once it made impact, Ryuichi froze. At this point, the room was completely silent. Even the cars outside, who knew nothing of this entire ordeal, were silent. Then Ryuichi took one big scoop of the slop and screamed to the top of his god-like vocalist lungs, "FOOD FIGHT!" Now everyone was in on it. There was cake goop flying all over the room. K, who was now enjoying the change in entertainment, took out his gun, but Sakano begged him not to do it. Instead, K pulled out a salad shooter and began to blast everyone with it. Hey, if he can't use bullets, then he might as well use something that shoots food. Seeing that a batter war was now being waged and that his president was his, Sakano began to spaz again, this time spinning around in his usual panicky motion. Ironically, that centripetal force of his spin had shielded from every single slop that hit him.
At the sidelines, Yuki's patience was already wearing thin. He tried his best to hold it in, but the vein indicated that everyone else was out of luck, especially after the several times he was hit with that slop. Slowly began the countdown to destruction... "Five...four...three...two...one..." Then, in that instant...everyone was chucked out of his apartment. On lookers watched as several bodies flailed out of the angered author's door. The only one still left in the apartment...was Shuichi. Why? Because he had a special punishment for him...
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So the party had comed to an end. All was...not well in Yuki Eiri's current residence. While it was his birthday, he wished that it never happened. With the exception of the part where he was able to beat the crap out of Aizawa with a bat, everything went wrong. He was lucky enough to at least throw everyone out so he could clean up everything. Of course, Shuichi was still around to help his lover with the cups, plates, and ooze on the mucky floor. "Yuki...did you have fun?"
Yuki yelled at Shuichi for all the trouble he caused. After all, he was the ringleader of the entire fiasco. However, Shuichi just repeated his question. Yuki sighed as he gave his reply. "Yeah...I guess so..." As they continued cleaning, Yuki found a book. When he spotted the title, he felt like throwing up, but he decided to show it to Shuichi. "What is this?" He said as he revealed the title of the book to Shuichi: 'Throwing Birthday Parties for Dummies'.
"Oh, I bought it to helped me with the party."
Yuki rolled his eyes in dismay, but then he realized that there was something wrong with the book. It felt like there was tape over it. Curious to find out what it held, he peeled it off and read what it really said. He then asked Shuichi to read it again.
"...Kiddy Birthday Parties for Dummies...? That's funny. Ol' droopy eyes Aizawa said it would be the perfect thing for you."
"YOU BOUGHT IT FROM AIZAWA?"
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Then out of nowhere, the former teenage sensation burst from beneath the gooey depths of Yuki's birthday cake, laughing manically in triumph." I HAVE GOTTEN PICTURES OF THIS PARTY! ONCE I LET THIS OUT, YOU'LL NEVER WRITE ANOTHER NOVEL AGAIN! I FINALLY HAVE MY REVENGE!" However, Yuki's expression did not change at all. Instead, he left Shuichi and Aizawa by themselves in the room, causing Aizawa's laughter to once again boom throughout the room. "HAHAHA! YOU FINALLY ACCEPTED DEFEAT! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR FACE ONCE I GET THIS OUT!"
Despite this, Shuichi still felt generous enough to give his enemy some cake. "Want some cake?"
"Oh sure--WAIT! I CANT ACCEPT CAKE FROM YOU! YOUR MY ENEMY!"
"Oh yeah...want some cake?"
Aizawa sighed and took the cake. "Okay, fine, maybe I'll accept it this one time, but I'm going to get my revenge on you! Remember that!"
Just then, Yuki came back out with his laptop. His eyes shinning with devious intent. "Hey, would you like to take a look at this?" He placed the laptop in front of Aizawa so he could read what was on the screen.
Aizawa could not believe that Yuki would let him get away with this, which continued to boost his confidence. "Well alright, but I'm still sending those pictures! You'll be ruined!" Aizawa then read what was on the laptop. Then...his eyes widened in surprise. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"
"I've just recently joined Media Miner. From what I've seen, most of your fans are on this site. Maybe I should send it...?"
Once again defeated by the novelist, Aizawa shoved the camera back into Yuki's arms . "I'M OUTTA HERE!" And with that, he ran through right through the door, leaving an Aizawa-sized hole in it.
Now curious about what was on the laptop, Shuichi took one good look at it and nearly vomitted in disgust. "Ew...Yuki, why are you writing a yaoi fic about droopy eyes?"
"I only wrote it to get him off my back. I'm not actually posting it. Besides, why are you complaining? What do you want me to write it on..." But Yuki stopped mid-way when he saw Shuichi smirking. He knew exactly what he wanted. "No Shuichi."
"Oh c'mon! I want a yaoi fic about us!"
"Forget it you damn brat." Shuichi pouted, a little dissapointed. However, that soon waned when Yuki wrapped his arms around him. "Besides, why write about it when we can just experience it right here?" Now that Yuki had Shuichi exactly where he wanted him, Yuki licked his ear...savoring the taste of the younger male...
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The next day...
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I HAVE BEATEN AN N-G ARTIST WITH A BAT, ALLOWED CAKE TO SPLATTER ALL OVER THE PRESIDENT'S FACE, AND NOW SHINDO-KUN IS LATE AGAIN!" Sakano was at it once again, spinning all over the place spazzing about Shuichi's tardiness.
"Please, you should know Shindo-san." Fujisaki rolled his eyes in annoyance as he watched Sakano spin. "He comes late every day."
"Don't worry. If he needs to get up, I have just the thing that will--"
"PLEASE, NO MORE MAGNUM, K-SAN!" K gritted his teeth, but did exactly what Sakano wanted. Then, at that moment, the door finally swung open.
"La di ho..." It was Shuichi...looking...a little different this morning.
"Hm? Shuichi, why are you so tired?" Hiro asked his best friend.
"Well...Yuki and I..."
THE END! DUN DUN DUN!
A/N: You like? Hope so! Anyway, I would really like to thank Burnfist for editing it, and making it actually look like a fic. So thanks! And much thanks to PlayingMyRole for helping me start off (and for the title; it's funny!), I would probably still be stuck at the beginning if she didn't help. And I would REALLY like to thank Ravens, so so so so much for making this even possible, and always being there for us when we needed you, and for making us laugh when we were down, and for being one of the BEST friends we could have. It may not seem like much, but we put alot into it, and we did the best we could. So I really really hope you liked the fic, you deserved every bit of it!