The characters of Goren, Eames and Deakins do not belong to me.
The Informant Chapter 6
Bobby had barely been asleep fifteen minutes when he was awakened by a loud commotion outside his door. He could make out two distinct voices.
"He's sleeping, you can't—"
"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do! I'm his mother!"
Now Bobby was really awake, but felt like he was dreaming, as in marched his mother followed by an amused Alex and Deakins, and a rather putout nurse.
Bobby struggled to sit up, and Deakins quickly supported him, while the nurse raised his bed to a sitting position.
What…how?" was all Bobby could manage.
"Sorry we're late getting here," Deakins said, "but after the surgery your Mom wanted to stop by the gift shop."
With that, Mrs. Goren came to her son's side and kissed him on his curly head. "Bobby, this is for you; my son, the Detective," she said proudly, and presented him with a gift. It was a hokey little blue bear with "NYPD" embroided on it, the kind of thing you found at every souvenir stand on every corner in the city. She put the little bear in his hand. He looked at it and his mother, then reached up with his good arm to hug her. "Thank you, Mom. It's… the best present I ever received." And he meant it.
Mrs. Goren looked pleased. She was hoping Bobby would like it.
Bobby then looked questioningly at Alex and the Captain. "Thank you. But… how…how'd you manage it?"
"Well, we spoke to your Mom's doctors," Alex explained, "and since she was currently doing well, but very worried about you, her doctors decided to give her a half-day pass, in our care. And since you couldn't visit her…Captain picked her up early this morning."
Bobby was a little overwhelmed.
Deakins pulled a chair up closer to Bobby's bed and helped Mrs. Goren into it.
"There you go, Mrs. Goren, you just visit with your son." Then to Bobby:
"We spoke to your doctor right after the surgery; he'll be up later," Deakins said. "But it sounds like your surgery was a success."
Bobby nodded, as Alex continued, "But you are going to need therapy, and lots of it," Alex continued. And you will do it, cause if you think I'm getting stuck with all the paperwork…"
"It did cross my mind," Bobby said, making a slight joke for the first time in what seemed like months.
They visited for about an hour more, then left to let Bobby get some rest.
And Mrs. Goren's pass was about to run out.
"Please take care of yourself, Bobby," Mrs. Goren told her son, kissing him again. I worry about you…."
"I will, Mom. Don't worry, okay?"
He watched as they started for the door, Deakins holding her arm. Bobby wondered what she'd be like the next time he saw her, grateful that she was lucid now. Would she even remember this? Alex started to follow, but Bobby called her back.
"Eames…I'm…I'm…sorry," Bobby said, looking at her with dark puppy dog eyes.
Alex couldn't resist those eyes. "I know," she said. "It's okay."
"No, Eames, it's not. I don't know what's wrong with me. Something is. What I do know is that I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry."
"Bobby, we both know what it is. And you do know what to do about it. If you want our partnership to continue as it's always been, you have to get better. Physically and emotionally. I'm just asking you to talk to me, Bobby. Talk to Deakins. Talk to somebody!"
Bobby lowered his eyes. He knew she was right. "I'll…try," he promised. "And Eames…thank you."
Alex started to say something, but Bobby continued, "I mean…for everything…"
'You're welcome, Bobby." She kissed the top of his head. "Just get better," she said, starting again for the door. "See you tomorrow."
After they were gone, Bobby laid back, contemplating the events of the day, which actually could not have gone better. He was truly grateful to Eames and Deakins for bringing his mother up, and decided that there were at least three people who did care about him. And, they had shown up for the surgery… This actually put him on sort of a temporary high. Depression had its peaks and valleys, mostly valleys, with just the occasional peak. And he would crash; but for now he would enjoy the good feeling.
Today's events certainly wouldn't going to cure his depression, but it would give him a good starting point on his road to recovery. Bobby's physical injuries would heal long before his emotional ones, but he was determined; he would really work on getting better.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
About a week later Bobby was released from the hospital, complete with prescriptions for pain, and for depression, and an appointment with the hospital shrink. He'd already had one appointment, which had gone okay, they weren't into the heavy stuff yet. At that first session the doctor saw that Bobby had some deep personal issues that he wasn't quite ready to deal with yet. And he told Bobby that keeping it all in kept Bobby in its power. The more he let it out, the less powerful these issues would become. It was something to think about.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
As much as Bobby always looked forward to being off, he found that it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. He was getting around pretty good now, although slowly, and his left arm was still splinted, making it difficult to get anything done. But he could read. He could never get enough of that. Bobby was like a sponge. He absorbed everything, took in every detail; nothing escaped his keen sense of observation. And his computer-like mind processed it all, putting it in places in his mind where he could easily access it when needed. (which was one reason he was such a good detective.) So he read. He occasionally watched tv, mainly "The History Channel" and sometimes "The Discovery Channel" if there was something interesting. He took walks, starting out slowly and working his way up. He was getting stronger everyday. But he was bored. He was chomping at the bit to get back to work. He missed the excitement of solving crimes, the satisfaction of putting the bad guys away, and he missed his partner.
Bobby was finally released to go back to work, nearly 3 months after being shot, on the condition that he stayed inside 1 Police Plaza for a week or two, before going back to any of the more physical work. He would get to do the dreaded paperwork. He also had to be seen by the police psychiatrist, a requirement for anyone who'd been violently injured on the job. That wasn't a problem, Bobby knew all the right words. With the other guy, well it wasn't going quite as well. Bobby still refused to open up.
On Bobby's first day back they had a cake, and a banner that read "Welcome Back!" A few of the guys gave him pats on the back (avoiding his shoulder), and shook his hand. They were genuinely glad to have him back, and happy that he was okay. Bobby was a little embarrassed by it all, but accepted it all gratefully. And he really liked the cake.
When Bobby got to his desk (his desk and Eames' were pushed together, facing each other) he saw Alex on her side, and a rather large pile of papers on his.
"Just wanted to help you get that arm toned up, Lefty," she teased him.
Bobby nodded his "thanks." "And after today, it should be," he teased back. The pile of papers was huge.
Bobby sat down at his desk and started in on the papers, stopping only when his shoulder began hurting. He'd use this time to get coffee for himself and Alex, then started in again. Periodically, he'd reach for his shoulder unconsciously.
Seeing this, Alex asked, "Hurting?"
"A little," Bobby admitted. "They said it would."
Alex nodded, and went back to her own paperwork. Every once in a while, she'd glance up at him, and think how close she'd come to losing him. And every time, she thanked God.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Bobby had finally started to open up a little more in therapy. He had, with utter shame, told the psyche doctor, Roberts, about some of his innermost feelings, some of his fears, and of some childhood happenings that Bobby was also ashamed to admit still affected him to this day.
He told Dr. Roberts about his fear of being ambushed by Nicky Jackson again. He told him about his chaotic childhood; his father's abuse and indifference, his mother's schizophrenia and all the turmoil surrounding that, his rejection by his peers. But the doctor sensed there was something else. And it was, to Bobby, the most shameful thing of all.
TBC