Summary: Ron is suffering after the attack at the Department of Mysteries, but is trying to protect everyone by hiding how he is feeling.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Harry Potter universe and everything and everyone in it, I am just a fan who is letting my imagination run a bit wild. All that I own is the chair that I'm sitting on and the keyboard I'm typing on.
A/N:
Thank you to everyone who is reading this story and especially to The Penniless Poet, WeasleyGirl-ca and Sprite Sweetheart for their wonderful reviews. It's great to know that people are reading the story and that you like it! Thanks, and here's chapter two.
Chapter Two.
"Hi Ron"
Ron's head snapped up, and Charlie was surprised at the speed with which Ron reacted. He quickly swallowed his mouthful of coffee, jumped to his feet, drew his wand from the pocket of his jeans and stood ready to hex whoever the intruder was.
Under different circumstances Charlie would have been amused at the slightly embarrassed look that crossed Ron's face when he registered who was in front of him. But the fact that his youngest brother was so alert, and obviously expecting trouble, worried him.
"Hey, is that any way to say hello to your big brother? I'll start to get as paranoid as Mad Eye, if after travelling for two days I get hexed by my little brother".
In an attempt to lighten the moment Charlie smiled at his brother, "Although I suppose he's got you all used to CONSTANT VIGILANCE?"
"Yeah, you could say that", Ron replied as he returned his wand to his pocket, "What are you doing here Charlie?"
Ron tried to sound as normal as possible, but he was very well aware of the fact that Charlie had been watching him for the last few minutes. His brother had seen him before he was prepared, before he had the chance to hide the signs of the nightmares and the sleepless nights. And the fact that he was wearing a t-shirt and Charlie could clearly see his scars was a major concern for him.
"Well, Dumbledore wanted all the members of the Order to be in town over the next few months…some big meetings and missions…you know? And besides, I can't come and see my family every once in a while?"
"Yeah, yeah Charlie. Mum will be ecstatic when she finds out you're back", Ron moved towards his brother, gave him a quick hug and then moved towards the laundry basket at the side of the room.
Charlie frowned as he watched Ron lift the first clean jumper from the pile of fresh laundry and pull it over his head. He had been right in his suspicions about Ron hiding his scars.
Ron quickly moved back towards the kitchen,
"You want something to eat? I can't guarantee that it will be delicious but it probably won't be poisonous"
Charlie smiled as he walked back to the kitchen and joined in the pretence that everything was fine. He had decided to figure out what was going on and talk to the rest of the family before he took any action. If there was one thing that his work with dragons had taught him it was to get all the information you can before you jump into any situation, otherwise you could risk making things worse.
"Probably won't be poisonous?"
Ron glanced at him as he moved to fill the kettle with water, and tried to hide the fact that his hands were trembling slightly.
"Yeah, well, I can probably manage to make some toast?"
"A cup of tea and some toast would be great, thanks"
There was silence in the kitchen for a moment as Ron busied himself with making some breakfast and Charlie observed his brother.
"So, Ron, I know it's been a while since we were all at the Burrow but I don't remember you getting up all that early. In fact, I seem to recall on more than one occasion it fell to one of your older brothers to literally drag you out of bed."
"Well…you know the way it is…I woke up this morning and couldn't get back to sleep…so I figured that I might as well get up" Ron lied easily as he poured two mugs of tea and set them on the table. He had become used to lying and keeping up the pretence that everything was fine. Now that he had his scars covered and had gotten over his shock at seeing Charlie, his skilful performance had begun.
Charlie knew Ron was lying to him. But that was only due to the fact that he had seen him when he had first come into kitchen. Ron had obviously become an expert at hiding what was really happening with him. As Ron passed him the plate of toast, Charlie could see the pain in his eyes that was quickly masked and hidden.
The two brothers ate their breakfast and talked about anything and everything, apart from the attack and how it was affecting Ron. They talked about their brothers; about Bill and Fleur, about the twins and their shop, about what an idiot Percy was being. They talked about Ginny and their parents. But they both avoided the thing that they were both thinking about. They both ignored the pink elephant in the room.
Time quickly passed and it wasn't long before Ron looked at the large clock in the room,
"Mum will be here soon", and he moved towards the sink with the now empty cups. Charlie knew that Ron had been trying to hide the fact that his being in the kitchen, trying to keep himself awake with coffee, was a regular occurrence. But the fact that he knew what time their mum would be appearing and a few other things that Charlie had observed led him to believe that Ron appearing in the kitchen in the early morning was the usual routine.
"Nightmares", Charlie thought to himself as he looked at the dark shadows underneath his brother's haunted eyes, and registered the slight tremble in his hands that he was trying so hard to hide. "He must be having nightmares"
Breakfast at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix was a busy and hectic time. Along with the residents of the house many of the Order stopped at the house to check in and have some breakfast when they finished the night shift or a long mission. The time passed quickly for Charlie as he was welcomed home by his family and the Order, but for Ron the time seemed to be passing too slowly. He was well aware of the concerned looks from Charlie across the table as breakfast proceeded. Those anxious glances joined those of his mother as she fussed around both him and Charlie constantly asking if they wanted anything else to eat.
Ron quickly realised that he would have to be more careful about letting his guard down. How could he have not realised that Charlie was in the room only a few hours ago? He knew that his mum was concerned about him but he was reasonably sure that he had hidden the extent of his problems from her and everyone else. But now Charlie suspected something was wrong.
As Ron thought about how to hide what was happening with him from his family, conversation flowed and breakfast proceeded around him. He was so concerned with keeping up the appearance that everything was fine that he went from quietly staring into space to suddenly jumping into the conversation. If he had thought about it more clearly he would have seen that this behaviour was causing more concern for him from his family, as they watched him vacillate between worry and apparent happiness.
As soon as breakfast was over and everyone had dispersed for the day Ron found the first excuse he could think of to leave the presence of the others. Although he had been reasonably confident with his ability to keep up the pretence that everything was fine, it was exhausting. He had found that he was more at ease when he was able to drop the act and simply feel what he had to feel. And that could only happen when he was alone. Everyone else had enough to be worried about without him adding to it.
He quickly volunteered to feed Buckbeak who was still housed in one of the upper rooms of the house, and quietly made his way out of the busy kitchen. As he made his way up the narrow staircase towards the top floor of the house, he let himself relax to a certain extent. His shoulders slumped and his hands shook as he let the physical manifestations of his nightmares and lack of sleep show through.
After arriving at the large room, he fed the hungry hippogriff who looked at him curiously before turning its attention back to the food. Ron found that he was glad of the solitude and the quiet, and he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He slid down the wall and sat with his head in his hands, unaware of everything around him. He was completely unaware of the fact that as he was struggling with his feelings in one room of the house, a hastily arranged Weasley family meeting was being conducted in the kitchen.
As the sleep that Ron had been trying so hard to avoid finally caught up with him, he was oblivious to the fact that Charlie was telling their already worried family exactly what he had observed that morning.
Ron could hear himself summoning the brain while his mind was screaming "No!"…. He could feel the growing pressure and then the burning pain as the thoughts wrapped themselves around his arms…the flashes of memories and thoughts that were not his own flickered through his mind as he realised that he could do nothing while his family, his friends were in danger…he saw the faces of those that he cared for flash through his mind interspersed with faces he had never seen before…all the while the pain in his arms grew more intense…he was finding it difficult to breathe as the pressure was growing more extreme …he could see Hermione…he could hear her asking him why he didn't help her… the faces of Ginny and Harry…along with Neville and Luna joined in accusing him of leaving them… of not helping them…he pleaded with them to believe him…that he tried and he was still trying to help…but the ability to breathe became a pressing concern again as the pressure from the thoughts intensified yet again…he was trying to take a deep breath…he had to make them understand to get them to hear him…
"NO!".
Ron's previously silent screams gained volume as his voice echoed around the room and through the house. He quickly opened his eyes, trying to figure out where exactly he was and what was happening. His breathing was rough as he forced the images of his dream to leave and once again tried to focus on something in the room. The large hippogriff became the focus of his attention as he forced himself to calm down. His breathing gradually became more even and regular, and he moved his gaze to his hands, which were still trembling in front of him. As he regained his senses he realised that not only did he fall asleep, but this dream had also forced him to shout out loud in a way that none of the dreams had ever done before. He heard a door opening somewhere in the house and the sounds of people running up the stairs. He sighed and rested his head in his hands yet again,
"Bloody hell", he muttered under his breath, as the footsteps grew louder as they made their way towards the room at the top of the house.
Coming up…
Chapter Three –
A confrontation.
I hope to get this story finished by Friday as I, along with a lot of other people, will be reading a certain book on Saturday!
Thanks for reading and please review.