Ways to Ask Out Miss Lily Evans

By: neen

Author's note: Well, James decides to go along with Remus's theory and Sirius's suggestion of being a whiny person. Let's see what happens..

Note: if you don't remember Sirius's reminder to James at the end of Chapter One: The Normal Way, please refer to this:

"Remember, Prongs, never let go of her, no matter what she says or does," Sirius reminded him as he flicked off imaginary specks of dirt off his cloak.

Enjoy!

Showers of hugs to obsessivescottishdemocrat and prongs is mine for putting me on their favorites list and obsessivescottishdemocrat and phantom radio for putting this story onto their alert list! You guys are wonderful! Thanks so much.

Chapter Two: Whines and Injuries

James had remembered Sirius's words (look up at the author note in case you forgot) when he went to pursue Ms. Evans the very next morning during breakfast.

"Evans!" James shouted happily as he flung his arms around an angered Lily. The toast in her hand fell to the table, the jam sticking on.

"Potter! What are you doing? Get your nasty hands off of me!" Lily glared at him.

"Evans, please open your saintly mouth and please use your heavenly voice to please agree to go out with me," James's eyes began to tear up as his eyes felt the sting of the onions hidden in his robe pocket.

"Eurgh—Potter, let go of my robes!" Lily glowered, extremely frustrated. Then she cast a suspicious look at him. "Do you smell onions?"

"Oh, come on, Evans! Please go out with me, please, please, please," James whined endlessly as he clung to the bottom of Lily's robe.

"Don't let go, whatever she does, don't let go," James muttered to himself as Lily began sprinting back and forth to the ends of the long table, trying to shake James off. James was yelling continuously "GO OUT WITH ME, EVANS!" as she did so.

Silence overcame them as a rip seemed to roar across the room. All eyes were on James and Lily.

Lily eyes grew wide as the bottom portion of her robes got ripped off. James smacked the floor with a deafening thud as all he was left with was a part of Lily's robes.

Let's just say it was a good thing that people wore pants under the robes and that it was most unfortunate that the floor was made out of concrete.

Lily hid a smile as she saw that James's glasses were broken in two places and that his nose was rather red from contact with the rigid floor.

"Go out with me?" James mustered out to her one more time before unconscious gradually took over him.

"I think he wasa whiny person all along," Sirius commented as the rest of the Marauders surrounded James's bed in the Hospital Wing.

James had kept on asking Lily out in his stupor, begging desperately each time.

James then made a wild grab at Sirius's hand, and had a strong grip on it. Sirius yelped. "What's the matter with you, you idiot?"

"C'mon, just go out with me. One time," James mumbled.

"This was all a bad idea and the fact that I'm just too dead sexy for my own good isn't helping much. Poor Prongs, torn between his attraction for me and Evans. But…NO! Now wake up before I'm going to be scarred for the rest of my life," Sirius prodded James's hand sharply with the tip of his wand so that James would let go.

Sirius gently massaged his own arm, wincing slightly as James woke up.

"Hey—Ev—wait—where am I? Where did Evans go? Did she say yes? How was I? Attractive right?" James immediately bombarded his friends with questions.

"Hospital Wing—Common Room—no—no words to describe the horror: you fainted—not attractive at all," Remus filled in as he shook his head.

"I what! Fainted? In front of her?" James spluttered in disbelief.

"Yes, and you broke your nose and your glasses, making you look like the complete idiot that you are," Sirius said, smiling broadly.

"Thanks, Pad, thanks," James said sarcastically, throwing him a glare.

"Any time, my friend," Sirius continued to smile, not taking in James's sarcasm.

"You're fine now, except for that annoyingly large and bright red mark on your nose that Madam Pomphrey said that you were going to have for about a day since she refused to magic away such a she-said-and-I-quote, 'adorable clown nose'," informed Remus.

"Hand me a mirror!" James demanded, a note of panic rising in his voice.

"Hand me a mirror!" Sirius chuckled. "Dear Prongsie, you sound like an extremely vain…how should I put this? You sound like an extremely vain…girl."

James ignored Sirius as he looked at his reflection.

"Ouch, that's a veryugly, horrifying mark you got there, dear," the mirror said directly.

"I know that," James glared as he chucked the mirror at Sirius.

"This was all your foul suggestion! Look at me! I'm a complete wreck! How is Evans supposed to fall to my feet now?" James asked, completely annoyed.

"Now, Prongsie, I was only trying to help," Sirius pouted.

James sighed and said gruffly, "I know."

"I knew that you always loved me in that great big heart of yours!" Sirius grinned as he flicked James's nose.

James threw a disgusted look at him. "Honestly."

Remus was the only one that was calm. "I presume that we should think about another tactic to win over Lily."

James sat up and nodded firmly. "Yes. A smarter approach as well," James said as he glanced over at Sirius and rubbed his sore nose.

Sirius ducked down, pretending to be very interested in the color of the hospital sheets. "My…lavender! I do think that I should get these for my bed…delightful color, don't you think?"

"Maybe she likes the quiet type…just ask her out quietly, nothing extravagant or loud," Peter suggested as they all ignored Sirius.

"You have a point there. Evans didn't really like it when she had to literally run away from me in front of everyone, now did she?" James said thoughtfully, absently rubbing his nose even redder.

"Exactly," Remus agreed.

"Stop it, Prongs! You look like that cracked-up Rudolphus reindeer from the muggle Christmas stories," Sirius swiped at James's hand to stop him from rubbing his nose.

James just grinned. They had a new plan.

Author's note:

Well. I had fun thinking about these 'tactics' as Remus calls them. It does sound like war, doesn't it? Anyways, if you have any other ideas, I'll be more than happy to write about them. Don't worry, the quiet one won't last long and there will be better ones…I hope.

Read and review please!

Much love,

neen

reviewers:

wow! I got reviews on the very first chapter! Wahoo! Thanks you guys.

: The Big Dance : my first reviewer! Congrats, congrats! I'm glad you liked the reminder…it was put to use in this chapter..

:vu lay vu : Haha, thanks. I try to be funny at times.

: phantom radio : thank you so much for trying out all my stories! You're wonderful. Yes, I was thinking about that too…I think I will finish the 'verbal' ways before I resort to 'written' ones…but yes, love letters will be a biggie later on…and I will be sure to add in some cheesy pick-up lines! Thanks!

: Owl and Crow : thanks! Here's the more you want…hope you enjoy it as well!

Thank you soo soo much!