Disclaimer: Nothing you recognise belongs to me and I'm not making any money with this.

Start of Term

The sun had set a while ago but Severus hadn't really noticed. For hours, he'd been sitting there, his arms folded on his desk and his chin resting on his arms. Right in front of him there was a stack of books, the topmost, a dark red one entitled 'The Theory and Practice of Demonology', partly blocked his view. A couple of times, he'd contemplated moving it aside so he could get a better view when staring at the opposite wall of his office, but he'd decided that it wasn't worth the effort. There wasn't really anything interesting to see on that wall.

There was a knock on the door and reluctantly he straightened up in his chair.

"Come in," he said, piling up some papers that had been scattered on his desk in order to look busy.

"The students will be here in less than half an hour," McGonagall said and frowned at him. "What are you doing there?"

"Working?" he replied.

"The term hasn't even started yet."

"I'm aware of that, but some of us use this time to prepare for their new classes, you know?"

"Don't be smart with me, will you?" she said with a smile and slowly walked over to his desk. "Do you have your list?"

"Yes," he said, pulled a parchment out of the stack of papers he'd just built and handed it to her. "What's the stake?" he asked.

"Five Galleons."

"How about ten?"

"Ten? You must be rather sure this year," McGonagall said, scanning the list of first years as well as the letters he'd written next to each name.

"Too many familiar names," Severus muttered. He realised that he'd actually written down all the kids whose parents he knew to have been Death Eaters for his own house; obviously he wasn't totally unbiased either.

McGonagall's eyes lingered on the name Harry Potter and the G he'd written next to it. It wasn't too difficult to guess which house that boy would be sorted into; after all, both of his parents had been Gryffindors.

"One in particular, I suppose?" she asked.

Severus wasn't quite sure whether she meant Malfoy or Potter by that, but he didn't feel like discussing either of them.

"Did Albus talk to you?" McGonagall asked.

"I managed to evade him," Severus replied. Dumbledore had tried to have a word with him for the last three days, and it had indeed been difficult to constantly appear too busy.

"You should really go and see him tonight."

"I know what he's going to tell me already, there's no use in me stealing his time by sitting around in his office for an hour and listening to it."

McGonagall sighed and gave him a thoughtful look.

"I'll be up in the Great Hall in a few minutes," he said before she got a chance to make another one of her suggestions.

"All right. But I'd like to talk to you after dinner."

Severus rolled his eyes at her as she turned to leave.

"I saw that," she said, walking towards the door. "Now wipe that incredibly annoyed look off your face and come upstairs."

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied lazily, getting up from his chair.

#-#

By the time he arrived in the Great Hall, most of the students were sitting at their house tables already, but the first years weren't there yet. He took his seat at the high table next to Quirrel who greeted him with a nervous smile, messing up his name with his usual annoying stutter.

Luckily enough, before he had the chance to start any sort of conversation, the doors to the hall opened, allowing the new students inside.

Severus kept a close eye on them as they walked towards the other end of the hall, his black eyes darting from one face to another. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle were the first ones he spotted. Then a red haired boy – no doubt another Weasley. How many children did those people actually have? Not too many more, he hoped.

And then he saw him, the one he'd been looking for. The boy. The one who'd forced the Dark Lord to his knees. The one who'd done what he'd never been able to do. And he looked like his father. Just like him.

Simply looking at him brought back all those memories of bloody James Potter and his friends, and it made him want to slap that boy across the face. But he'd have to wait. Soon the kid would be sitting in his classroom, and then he'd get his chance.

He watched the sorting ceremony without paying much attention, always keeping his eyes on the young Potter instead. He acted just like his father, he moved like him and he had the same stupid smile. And of course, he ended up in the same house. Fortunately, because Severus definitely wouldn't have wanted that kid in his house. Although he seriously doubted that Potter could ever have been a Slytherin; but then, life could be a bitch, so it was always best to expect the worst.

Of course, all the Gryffindors cheered when famous Harry Potter was made one of them. Dumbledore and McGonagall looked very pleased as well. But somehow the Headmaster always did. He'd have been pleased even if Potter had ended up in Slytherin. Because he was an optimist, always convinced that things would turn out good in the end.

At certain times, Severus had wished that he himself could be more like that as well, but he'd had to realise that he didn't have the strength it took.

Dumbledore was strong. And he was powerful. It was a special kind of power, different, one nobody else possessed. So obvious and yet all these kids couldn't see who the man behind those sparkling blue eyes really was. He himself hadn't seen it either when he'd been younger. But now he did. Light. Maybe one needed to have seen darkness like he had to be able to see the light that radiated from this man.

The Bloody Baron swept along the table right in front of him, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Severus glanced over at Potter again and kept doing so throughout dinner, almost forgetting about the food on his plate. He wasn't very hungry anyway.

Potter was facing him, but until now, he hadn't really looked at him even once. Of course not, there was no reason. The boy didn't even know him. Not yet.

And he seemed to have better things to do anyway; at least he looked rather busy chatting with his friends. Just like his father; obviously all he had to do to make a dozen new friends was to walk into the room. Of course all those dumb Gryffindors had fallen for him immediately.

Quirrel had started talking again, and Severus turned towards him, replying a few words every now and then, pretending he was actually listening. He was good at that; barely anyone ever noticed when he wasn't even paying attention.

And then it happened: Severus glanced over at Potter, their eyes met, they stared at each other for an endless second, then the boy grimaced and looked away again.

He had his mother's eyes. Severus had noticed it immediately, and for the rest of the evening, he didn't look back at the Gryffindor house table once.

#-#

He'd almost made it out of the Great Hall when McGonagall seemed to suddenly remember that she'd wanted to talk to him and called him back to wait for her. He did, though only reluctantly. He couldn't hide from her anyway, the last few years at this school had taught him that.

"Come on, we're going for a walk," she said as she walked past him and out of the hall.

"I don't want to go for a walk," he muttered in return.

"We'll go anyway."

Severus sighed and followed her across the entrance hall and out through the wooden doors.

"You can't hate him for being his father's son," McGonagall said quietly once they'd put a considerable distance between themselves and the castle.

"Why not?"

"It's not doing you any good either, you know."

"Please don't start this over with me again. Not tonight."

"All right," McGonagall said and they walked on in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again.

"But I have to let you know that should I become aware of you taking out on that boy whatever grudge you might still be carrying against his father, I'm not going to tolerate it."

"Yes, of course..." Severus muttered.

He'd expected that much; Harry Potter was one of her Gryffindors now, just like his father had been. And Severus knew better than to believe that she didn't favour her own students over those from the other houses. He remembered well enough all the occasions when she'd let James Potter and his friends get away with something that he was convinced would have earned someone like himself a detention.

"Anything else or may I go back inside?" he asked.

"Why are you mad at me now?"

"I'm not. I was merely wondering whether there's a reason why I'm still standing around out here."

"Come on, I want to show you something," McGonagall said and started walking again.

Severus hesitated for a moment but then followed her across the grounds to a small hill near the lake where she stopped and looked up into the sky.

"There. Look," she said softly.

Hesitantly he followed her gaze and looked up into the dark sky. "The moon," he said. "I've seen it before."

"I bet you haven't really looked at it for years," she replied. "It's such a beautiful night; the black sky, the silver moon and the ancient stars."

Severus took a deep breath. Stargazing wasn't really one of his favourite activities; actually he usually avoided anything that left him too much time to think about other things.

"I know you're worried," McGonagall said. "For eleven years, the boy's been safely out of your reach. But now he's been put back into your sphere of responsibility and that troubles you, because you still feel indebted to his father. You couldn't save his life, now you have to save his son's."

Severus stared down at the flat dark surface of the lake and shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe," he muttered eventually. "It's all starting again now."

"We knew it wasn't over yet," McGonagall said.

"Yeah, but still...," he let his voice trail off, staring absent-mindedly into the darkness.

"It's harder to keep pushing it away while seeing the boy walking around here every day," she said.

Severus nodded. It was indeed difficult to not think of so many things; no matter how much he hated the idea, his whole past seemed to be to linked to Potter in one way or another.

"Nonetheless," she continued. "If at all possible, would you please at least try to act like a normal person towards him?"

"I can't promise," Severus said.

"Do me a favour and try. You have enough past to cope with, maybe you should just let rest what doesn't necessarily have to be meddled with."

Severus thought about it for a moment; she definitely had a point there.

"I'll do my job; I'll teach him, and I'll keep an eye on him. But don't expect me to be friendly."

McGonagall nodded. "Let's go back inside," she said and they both started walking back up to the castle.

-end-