Chapter 4: Reflection

The next morning when I woke up I felt like I had been drinking the whole night before. My head was throbbing, and all I wanted to do was lie down and die. I didn't even want to think about what had happened, but all these thoughts kept rushing through my mind, filling my eyes with tears. I grabbed my pillow and cried.

I heard a bark from behind me and turned around to see Skop. He crawled up by my side and licked my face.

"Thanks Skop, but a little lick isn't gonna make things better," I said as I ran my hands through his soft puppy fur. "

"How could he do that to me!" I cried to myself, "I thought he liked me... even worse... I thought I liked him. Why didn't he tell me he had a girlfriend, maybe then I could have stopped this in the beginning. OK... I have to stop thinking about him, I have to move on, take care of the farm."

I managed to pull myself out of bed and get dressed. Skop was happily playing at me feet. I reached down and picked him up in my arms.

"I wish I could be as carefree as you are Skop," I said in the most cheerful voice I could manage, as I playfully scratched the top of his head. I made my bed and had a quick breakfast. As I opened the door the bright morning light flooded in through the small crack. "Here I go."

Once the door was opened, the sun swept into the house and swept through the room. I stepped out into the grass, and looked over the field. I took another step forward and bashed my toe against something. I looked down and saw my rucksack, along with the bag of seeds and a note.

"Great... just what I need... a letter to remind me of the worst night of my life," I whined and picked up the note. I slowly opened it up and read it slowly through my head:

Jen,
I know what I did last night was wrong, and I should have told you before things got out of hand. But the truth is, I really do care for you. You are like no other girl that I have ever met here in Mineral town. I hope we can still be friends, please forgive me. Cliff

The minute I finished reading it I crumbled it up into a ball, and threw it on the ground.

"Then why did you kiss me then!" I screamed out loud to myself. I reached down and picked up my rucksack and the bag or seeds. I made my daily rounds of taking care of the animals, but nothing that I did could bring a smile to my face. After I had said goodbye to Epona, I went back out into the fields so I could make some money.

I went inside the house and put away the other tools that I had in my bag and took out the hoe and watering can. Going back outside into the bright sunlight, I looked over the large field in front of me. I took the rocks and created a small fence around what was soon to be my garden, and got to work with cultivating the soil.

Once I was done I pulled the big bag of seeds out of my rucksack, and as I looked at them I couldn't help myself from thinking about Cliff.

"Well Cliff, I see you're not hear to help my anymore, and I'm glad!" I said aloud to myself, letting the tears stream freely from my eyes. I angrily grabbed the seeds from the bags and stuffed them into the ground. With every seed a tear fell from my eye hitting the dry soil, until all the seeds were planted.

"There, it's done," I whispered, and started to water the seeds. "Now I have something to concentrate on other than... that.... Jerk," I took the empty seed bags and threw them in the garbage. Skop ran up to my feet and started to chew on my laces.

"Well Skop, how about we go for a walk around town to get our minds off things?" I asked him, and somehow I knew he was telling my yes as he barked in reply. I emptied my rucksack out, and Skop and I started down the dirt road toward town.

I stopped my each shop on the way, to talk to the new people I had met. First I stopped at the blacksmiths, where I had a brief chat with Grey. He seemed really nice, but he was a little too quite for me.

I went farther down the road where the chicken ranch was. Popuri and her brother Rick lived there. Popuri had the most interesting colored hair I had ever seen, but she was very warm and welcoming. Her brother on the other hand was very outspoken.

I stopped at Yodel Ranch, and then headed up to Rose square. I couldn't bare to even look at the beach, and I passed right by the Inn, not wanting to collide with the girl that had ruined my life. But the more I thought about it as I walked, I realized that it was not the girl's fault, it was Cliff's for tricking me.

I stopped at the Winery and picked up a bottle of wine to get the things off my mind, and then headed up toward the library. At the Library I talked with Mary, who was very shy, but kind enough to help me find a good book to read in my spare time.

I continued over toward the supermarket. On the door it said no pets aloud.

"Sorry Skop, you're going to half to stay here," I said to the whimpering puppy and I tied him to the street light post. I went inside and bought some bread and some rice balls. As I was checking out, Karen walked out from the back room.

"Hey, you're Jen... um Jay.... Um... what one was it again?" She asked me.

Whatever you feel like calling me is fine," I replied politely.

"Ok then Jen," she said putting an emphasis on Jen. Just as I was pulling the money out to pay for the food Karen said "Don't worry about it Jen, it's on the house. And here" She said throwing me a bag of seed, "They are grass seeds. You'll need them."

"Thank you very much" I replied. Karen and I talked for a good hour. "Well it's great to have a friend around here. Thanks for everything, maybe we can get together again?" I asked, hoping that I might have a friend to help me along.

"That would be great!" She said, "I'll make sure to stop by occasionally so we can talk."

I walked out of the supermarket, picked up Skop, and went further down the road where I stopped at the hospital. Right when I walked in I saw the doctor, and he was pretty good looking.

"Hmm.... Things might be looking up for me. Maybe this guy can get my mind off Cliff" I said to myself, smiling for the first time today. I started to walk up to him, but just as I was going to say hi, Elli came down from the upper level.

"Goodbye hunni, I'll see you tomorrow," and at that she kissed him on the cheek and left.

"Well so much for that idea."

The doctor turned toward me and asked, "May I help you?"

"No I'm just checking it out," and I left.

Once outside again, I started walking down the road. I came to the beautiful church. I peered inside the stain glass window, and inside I saw Cliff sitting at one of the pews. Just standing there staring at him, I started to think about everything.

"Well Jen.... What are you gonna do? Are you gonna sit here and wallow in your grief, or are you gonna get up and move on?" I said to myself. "You have to get over him." And right then I realized that I was right. Why was I so heartbroken over a guy that I had just met? I shook myself back to reality, and turned away from the church.

"Let's go home Skop," I said, as I started down the dusk light road back to Kanter Ranch.