Ways to Ask Out Miss Lily Evans

By: neen

Author's note: MARAUDERS & CO ARE NOW IN THEIR SIXTH YEAR! SIXTH YEAR, I REPEAT!

Hope you all like this! Please review as well…(I accept anonymous reviews, so no need to login if you don't want to…and guests, you can review now too!)

Enjoy!

Chapter Nine: Letters of Love

James constantly pursued Lily for the remainder of the 5th year, but as soon as December came, Lily could not be found anywhere. She ate her food at painstakingly fast speed, sped to the library, and locked herself up in her room to study for O.W.L.S. Summer came and went…and the start of the new term: sixth year, is where we find our lovely characters.

"Ah! Hoggy Warty Hogwarts—my lovely pranking place! So glad to be going back—it was getting rather boring hexing ickle Regulus at home," Sirius's face darkened a shade after he remembered all the underage magic notices he received.

"Too right. I was very bored as well. How come you only came over to my house twice the entire summer?" James asked, somewhat annoyed as the train jumped slightly.

"Parental problems," Sirius muttered darkly as he turned a shade pink after he readjusted his position.

James pretended not to hear and went on, "In fact I was so incredibly bored, I decided that I was going to write one hundred letters to Evans."

"Love letters?" Sirius asked, looking very bewildered.

James's ears went slightly red as he muttered very quietly, "Yes."

"Well?" Remus asked, holding out his hand. "Let's see them."

Grudgingly, James opened a box sitting next to the window of the compartment that was protected with a series of strange-looking locks.

James tickled the ferocious lock that was attempting to bite off Sirius's finger as he yelped, and it whined softly before turning into a normal looking lock. James quickly turned the dials and it clicked open.

"Nice, eh?" James grinned at Sirius, who looked scandalized.

"My dear finger-poo!" Sirius said as he quickly showered kisses on his hurt finger.

James rolled his eyes as he dumped the large bundles of parchment onto Remus's outstretched hands.

Remus glanced at the letters, his eyes nearly popping out as he skimmed them. "You're complete rubbish without me telling you what to write, Prongs."

"Thanks for the compliment, Moony. I appreciate it greatly," James said sarcastically as he made for the letters.

Remus however, hung on to them, and began reading them out loud, "—Evans, My summer has been quite delightful, thanks for asking. I know you haven't asked yet, but I have a feeling that you would. Now, let me tell you about my lovely summer. I have been practicing Quidditch for six hours daily and I have become even better. I know that seems hard to believe, but it is quite true. I've even knocked Sirius (the falsely acclaimed Gryffindor Beater) off his broom ("That's not true, you bloody liar! I was just bending over," Sirius glared), making me the unstoppable, all-time Quidditch player the wizarding world has seen. I think I fancy myself as a Seeker. I've managed to find the Snitch in a mere 2.49 seconds. Impressive, eh? Yes, I do say so for myself, being ever so humble, of course. ("That's because you just released it, you pillock!" Sirius retorted) Yesterday, I went to see the Quidditch match between the Wasps and the Dragonslayers. Luther Bagman was there and due to the very important fact that my parents (the great Aurors) are very rich and we had top-box seats, he shook my hand and signed my broomstick (the latest StarSweeper which costs about one hundred eighty-eight galleons—the most expensive one out there) for me, while saying that his son, Ludo Bagman of Hufflepuff, talked very highly of me and told him that I was an outstanding Quidditch player for Gryffindor. I'm quite sure you're nodding your head, agreeing to everything I'm saying, so I've decided to give this a try. Go out with me, Evans? Still nodding? I thought so. I knew you couldn't resist my irresistible good looks, my very godly (admit it) body, my great Quidditch skills, my brains, my wonderful hair, and everything else about me. I know that once we get back to school, you will come worshipping me at your knees, asking me—begging me—for forgiveness, which since I'm the ever-so-lovely and modest James Potter, will think about. Well, good day, Evans! Love, James"

Sirius snorted. Remus had a pained look on his face, not knowing whether to laugh at James's pathetic so-called love letter or to explain to James that his attempt was fruitless.

Remus sighed. "Prongs, that—is—the—worst—love—letter—I've—ever—read. You did not mention once anything about her, asking how she was and the such and you've talked about Quidditch the whole time. It makes me think that you are in fact in love with Quidditch and not Lily. The only good thing about the love letter is that you didn't send it!"

Sirius was laughing uncontrollably now, reading James's other attempts at love letter writing.

"This—is worse than that fake one about her eyes being the color pickled toads or whatnot—oh dear me—'You are one of those Muggle white human birdy things that supposedly fly. They can't, can they?'" Sirius chortled loudly, shaking with laughter as tears streamed from his eyes.

"Angels, you mean?" Remus supplied, looking amused himself.

"Ah, is that what they're called?" James asked, not a trace of embarrassment.

Remus sighed again, something he kept doing these days as James attempted to win Lily's heart over a couple of these…these…letters. He could feel a migraine coming and rubbed his temples furiously.

"What's so funny? These are very romantic, are they not? What?" James demanded furiously of Sirius, who was now crying tears of mirth, doubling up in laughter.

"My dear Prongs, you need help," Remus sighed once more.

"Help? Oh no, I think I'm getting quite good at writing love-letters, thank you very much," James said, looking very offended as Sirius flapped his arms wildly. "In fact," James continued, choosing to ignore Sirius, "I'm giving these letters to her right now."

The laughter and sighing stopped. Silence. Then—

"You must be JOKING!" Sirius mouthed, his eyes in great horror.

"You can't—you just can't!" Remus spluttered, for the first time in his life, he was losing his calm composure and did not know what to say.

"They're horrid—the whole lot!" Sirius blurted out, still in shock.

"She's going to laugh her head off—or worse, she might murder you this time," Peter added. (The scoundrel..)

"I don't care. I think that she'll enjoy them!" James snapped and left the compartment, banging the door shut behind him as he grabbed the large bundle of letters from Remus.

"He's gone mental," Sirius said in awe, looking at Remus, whose mouth was opening and closing soundlessly like a goldfish.

Finally, his mouth shut. "I'm worried. Lock the compartment door, will you, Padfoot? I have a feeling Lily might come killing Prongs, and I don't think we really want to be in the middle of it."

"You're right. Prongs may be my best friend, but when it comes down to my life or his…I think I'm enjoying my life right now, thanks," Sirius agreed and bolted the door shut as Remus muttered, "Collorptus", sealing the door shut snugly.

"Nice one, Moony," Sirius grinned as he saw James's face smack into the glass of the compartment, as if on cue. His eyes were wide and he shouted, "Open up—you dimwitted lot! I'm under attack!"

"Did you hear anything, Moony?" Sirius asked, looking away.

"Nope, I'm afraid not. Ah, poor Prongs. It seems that he left his wand and his Invisibilty Cloak in here. What a shame," Remus said, grinning slightly as he looked on the floor.

(Okay, just a note here, they're not evil—but…James did kind of ask for it since he didn't listen to his friends' advice…just a bit of fun—they're still friends, don't worry…not doing a Wormtail…glares at the evil git)

By this time, Lily had caught up with James and tore his face from the window, cursing him into oblivion.

Then satisfied, she grinned at Sirius and Remus who waved back.

Sirius finally decided it was safe to take a peek outside and slid the compartment door open. James was sprawled on the floor, having been Stunned, Petrified, and also had a variety of hexes on him. James seemed to have sprouted extremely curly blond hair and an extra nose on his forehead. He was jinxed beyond recognition.

Sirius rolled him in and closed the door while Remus surveyed James with a small smile. "It seems Lily's rather good at hexes."

"Ennervate," Sirius said and James began to rouse.

He took off screaming. "Evans! Damn—she's spitting fire—help me! Let me—wait, I'm in, aren't I? But—but—you guys saved me from Evans, didn't you? I knew it, my two best friends in the world!" James sobbed out.

Sirius fidgeted uncomfortably before Remus broke in, "Eh, sorry, Prongs. You've already been done in by Lily."

"Hand me a mirror!" James demanded, sounding exactly as he did that one time he had sprouted a large red nose from hitting the concrete floor.

"Y'know, this is like déjà vu. I swear you've said those words…and I swear that I would've said something like, 'Hand me a mirror! You sound like a girl!'" Sirius said in an affected voice. "Perhaps you are turning more feminine…I wonder."

"Shut up, Paddy. You better watch out now," James growled threateningly as he found his wand lying on the ground.

Sirius gulped. "Well, you see, Prongsie, I was erm—I was trying very hard to coax Moony into letting you in—but, but—Wormtail said no!" Sirius hastily said, after seeing Remus eye him dangerously.

Peter emitted a loud snore, completely oblivious to Sirius's blame on him.

James took a look at Peter and sighed, lowering his wand. "You know perfectly well that I can't hex a guy when he's unarmed."

"Knew the nobleness would get to you, Prongsie! Excellent—now pray tell me, what was Evans's reaction when you gave her those?" Sirius asked, grinning.

James's face suddenly looked rather glum. "She took them—she was surprised at first and then I was standing there, waiting for her to read some of them and—well, she did. Only she was turned really, really mad and she kind of started throwing hexes at my back and I kind of ran for it, you know. I did outrun her, you know." James finished, a smug look on his face.

"That's nothing, Prongsie, I for one, have beat you numerous times when we race," Sirius said pleasantly, ignoring James's glower.

Remus shook his head behind James and Sirius, cottoning on, quickly said, "Of course, that was a very good attempt. At least you tried."

James's facial features relaxed and he turned thoughtful.

"Moony," he attacked, turning around, "what do you suppose my next tactic should be?"

Remus looked surprised. "Erm—well, I suppose that we could, erm—well—er—I have no idea," he confessed after a while.

"Maybe a song will do. Everyone loves music, right?" Sirius asked. (It seems that Sirius is the one coming up with the ideas…hehe)

"Yeah, I could—I could—what's the word—serenade her with my very own love song! She definitely wouldn't refuse me after that!" James said, his eyes rapt with happiness.

Remus sighed. "I suppose we could try that."

"Of course we can! It's my brilliant idea, if you've forgotten!" Sirius said indignantly.

"Tomorrow," James vowed as he sat down to write a love song with help from the brilliant Sirius and all-knowing Remus. Peter, on the other hand, slept on.

"Beautiful," James said, as he sniffed away a fake tear once they finished the song.

Author's Note:

Ahh…let me tell you something: I'm absolutely terrible at song-writing…so I will make James a very sad song-writer, all right? Please tell me what you think. And if you have verses you want me to use, feel free to add them in your review! Thanks.

Reviewers:

: Owl and Crow : Yes, I agree with you. Lily does have a naughty side! Thanks.

: IamSiriusgrl : Thanks! Because of all your wonderful attachments, I couldn't wait to add this chapter up!

: Auramistealia : Thanks for explaining and the input, I appreciate it!

Thanks to Owl and Crow for adding this to your favorites and Auramistealia for adding this to your alerts!