Ways to Ask Out Miss Lily Evans
By: neen
Author's note: James, James…he serenades Lily with his very own lovely song…enjoy!
Hope you all like this! Please review as well…(I accept anonymous reviews, so no need to login if you don't want to…and guests, you can review now too!)
Enjoy!
Chapter Ten: A Song Gone Wrong
"Attention, gather around, gather around! Thank you," James beamed, looking around. Lily was situated with force onto one of the armchairs in the Gryffindor Common Room.
"What do you want, Potter?" Lily growled, struggling against the chair.
"Sit still a bit, dear Evans. I have a very nice surprise for you," James flashed her a large smile.
Lily groaned as music began to play in the background.
"Music courtesy of Sirius Black with his harmonica!" James said, waving at Sirius who grinned.
"Charming, aren't I?" Sirius asked, wiggling his eyebrows at a nearby girl, who swooned into her friend's arms.
James cleared his throat and magnified his voice.
He sang. Oh yes, my dear, he sang. James sang along to one of the cheesiest tunes possible.
"Ooooh, my dear Lily,
While you may think
This song is ever so silly,
I really haven't had anything to drink.
You are oh, so pretty,
Your eyes are so bright,
Your fab red hair so shiny,
Pray do not forget—I am your handsome knight!
Your gorgeous smile melts me,
I love the fiery temper you possess,
You are the only girl I see,
Without you, I am a complete mess!
I've known it since I first saw you,
With your new cute wavy hairdo,
Yes, oh yes indeed, I am in love with you!
So my pretty Lily,
One question to ask of you:
Do you love me too?"
After James finished, girls broke into hysterical sobs while some people applauded and whistled loudly. Lily was very red in the face.
"My dear Lily Evans, will you go out with me?" James asked, kissing her hand gracefully as he swooped down. Some of the girls, hearing this, immediately fainted.
"No! As long as you're still the arrogant prat you are, I'll never go out with you! Now get these stupid ropes off of me!" Lily said, squirming. She longed to go wash her hands with soap. The girls revived, now looking at James with renewed hope.
James vanished the ropes, and Lily got up, glaring coldly at him.
"This—was—the—most—embarrassing—thing—I—have—ever—encountered!" Lily burst out finally after struggling not to slap James, before rushing upstairs from amid the stares, whispers, and pointing.
"This is rubbish! I'm James Potter—the most attractive guy in the whole school, am I not?" James demanded the people surrounding him. The girls nodded furiously.
"Nope—sorry to break it to you, but according to the annual Hogwart's Sexiest Guys, conducted by all the girls at Hogwarts, I am the most attractive—you came second, dear Prongsie. But you only lost by a margin," Sirius informed, grinning happily at the information.
James was fuming silently. He would deal with Sirius later. For right now, he too, ran up the stairs to find Remus, who said last night that he knew something of the sort would happen.
"Moony!" James exploded. "If you knew this was going to happen, why didn't you stop me?"
Remus sighed. "It happens every single time. I don't need to be a Seer to know that Lily is going to refuse you again. Besides, I thought it would be good experience, Prongs."
James sighed as well. "Yes, it does seem to happen every time, doesn't it? Well, is there anything else I can do?"
"Well, she seems like a very powerful businesswoman to me, so I think deals or contracts would be appealing to her. Do you have anything on her?" Remus asked thoughtfully.
"Blackmail-wise? Erm—no. But I do know that she hates it when I hex people—especially Snivelly—the nasty, slimy git. I mean, really, who cares if I take his knickers off or not? He's such a titchy ugly thing," James spat out, looking extremely disgusted as he remembered the lake incident a year earlier.
"That's it! You could make a deal with her! If she goes out with you, you'll never hex Snivellus again!" Remus cried out.
"That's a bit hard, though. I thought I could try that last year, but—you know what happened. I mean, I do really like her, but never doing one of my favorite pastimes? You've got to admit, that is a bit hard," James said.
"As long as you're not the one hexing Snivellus, you'll be fine," Remus pointed out.
A moment later, it dawned on James. "I know what you mean—you and Paddy could still hex him, right? Yes, that seems all right then…as long as I can still give some pointers! Merlin knows that I'm still the best at hexing!" James grinned.
"How's this?" James asked of Remus after he finished writing the contract. He had already signed it.
"Nice. It's good to have loopholes to go through, isn't it?" Remus asked, smiling.
"I'll go give this to her," James said, grinning as well.
James knocked on the door of the girls' dormitory, grinning at his genius.
His beloved redhead opened the door. "Potter! What? How can you—oh. That's—that's a brilliant idea," Lily said, praising him reluctantly.
"I know isn't it? If you're James Potter, you can do anything," James smiled smugly as he hovered above the ground with his broomstick. (smart, eh?)
Lily scoffed at his words, her eyebrows raised and her face cast in disbelief.
"Anyways, Miss Evans, I have come here to present you a contract. As long as you go out with me, I won't lay a toe on Snivelly again," James explained, showing her where to sign.
"Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't, Potter," Lily said sarcastically before slamming the door in James's face. James frowned.
A boy's pride could only take so many blows a day, and James slowly flew back to the boys' dormitory. He rolled off his broom onto his bed.
"Well? How did it go?" Sirius asked as soon as James entered.
"How do you know about the whole plan?" James asked, narrowing his eyes at him.
"Remus filled me in," Sirius said promptly.
Remus came out of the bathroom and looked expectantly at James.
"Bad—she slammed the bloody door in my face. Horrid. I bet people will be laughing their heads off on that one," James said sourly.
"Ah, it's all right, mate," Sirius said, trying to assure him as Remus nodded.
James's eyes suddenly darted at Sirius. "That reminds me…" He lunged at Sirius, tackling him down. Remus jumped out of the way.
James then hexed him, causing his silky ebony hair to turn into a frizzy mass of bright green hair. Remus chuckled lightly.
James stood up, pocketing his wand, and brushed 'dirt' off his robes, looking pleased at his work. "That is what you get for trying to say that you beat me on the Hogwart's Sexiest Guys. Which you didn't, of course. My fan club made sure of that."
The mirror, who usually liked Sirius a lot, and also who James thought had a crush on Sirius, sounded revolted. "That hair does not suit you, my dear. Green does not go well with you, however handsome you are. You poor little lamb! What a dreadful act to do to such a charming person!"
Sirius just glared at him after he noticed his hair in the mirror. "This is Slytherin hair, Prongsie! And you made it all frizzy and curly! That's just mean. You can't do this to me! I'm your best friend, remember? The one that ate mud pies with you when we were ickle inklings—the one that cursed Snivelly into almost taking off his nasty graying knickers by the lake that one time—the one that's trying to think of moronic ideas to help you get your girl!" Sirius whined, scowling at his reflection.
"Serves you right," was all James said as he took out his Snitch that he snitched a couple days ago and let it wander. It zoomed through Sirius's mass of green, wiry hair as Sirius batted crazily at it.
Author's note:
Yes, not as funny…I seem to be running out of ideas…I think one or two more chapters left…I'm so sad…but at least there will be a sequel…! Thanks.
Reviewers:
: IamSiriusGrl : Thanks! Hope you enjoy this!
: Auramistealia : Oh wow, I love your lyrics! I should have used them…but I don't want to steal them, hehe. Thanks for the great lyrics though! I'll post them here for other people to read:
"You are my only love, my sprite-
I'd love to declare my undying love
While you're hanging over a bottomless pit
And then I think I'd rescue you.
Your eyes look like doves-
Well, if they were dyed green.
And your hair is flaming like your temper.
I wish you weren't so mean."
: rchlptl90 : I love that song! Ever since I was a little kid—it is an excellent song, but I wanted James to make something crazy and silly up…thanks for the idea though—I might use it in future stories! Thanks!
: Owl and Crow : Er…I'm not sure if that spelt right or not…you probably did…oh well, thanks anyways! I'm blushing with all your compliments—thanks.
: AimeeK : Thanks!
Thanks to dobbey92, ravenclaw123, rchlptl90 for adding this to their favorites and dobbey92 and rchlptl90 for adding this to their alert list!
Over 1300 views! Thanks you guys! If only they were reviews…
The next chapter will be up tomorrow…I promise.