a/n: about this chapter...each scene is separated by a few weeks time..so sorry if it seems a ...but I kinda want to get through the school year quickly, because ive got a lot of stuff to cover after that n I really wanna get started on it soon ;) poor marauders n friends..they have no idea what's coming...evil grin well, its not too horrible, im ending it so it leads right up to long lost love...newhos..read on..oh yea btw, where the hell are the old school reviewers?? I miss u guys!! tear btw, that puts me in mind, thanks emma so much for reading and reviewing from the very, very beginning!! 'preciate it!! lol newhos, yea I know u all are like jolie, shut up and get on w/ the story... aiight here it is...............oh yea this starts off a few weeks after D's told everyone...lol ok go ahead...

Chapter 27: Loved and Lost

"Guys! Guys!! Guess what??" Lily shouted as she came running through the portrait hole. The marauders and the girls all looked up from their homework as Lily joined them, waving around a letter.

"Hmm let me guess...." James began, rubbing his temples, imitating his divination professor, "I see...I see...your parents have written to you...to tell you...they've seen the grim...and you'll get married to me...and have ten children....oooh," he said, snapping out of his trance and picking up his quill, "I'll use that..."

"James, didn't you say something like that in your last homework assignment?" Peter asked.

"Er...no, not quite...in the last essay, I said that I'll...oh wait...I did say that, didn't I..." James muttered, as he scratched out what he had written, "damn, I hate divination..."

"So what's up, Lily?" Kierra asked.

"My sister Petunia's getting married!" Lily replied excitedly.

"Aww, really?? Congratulations to her!" Dominique said. As she did so, Alice, Kierra and Lily burst into laughter. "What??" she asked.

"You don't know Petunia..." Kierra said with a sour look on her face.

"Yea...we're not very fond of each other," Lily replied, "she thinks I'm a freak..."

"What?? Why??" James asked, looking at Lily curiously. "Why would she say something like that to you?"
"I'm muggle born...so no one in my family is magic"—

"I know, so what?"

"Well, she hates magic"—

"probably just jealous that she couldn't be a witch too..." Kierra muttered.

"So she hates you for it?" Sirius asked. Lily nodded.

"So why are you all happy about her getting married?" Dominique asked.

"Why?" Lily asked with a grin, "because she'll be leaving then! And...also, I think it's amusing...I met her fiancé over the holidays...Vernon Dursley...hah...I think she was just desperate..."

"Good looking?" Kierra asked. "What??" she asked as Remus had given her a look.

Lily giggled. "He's wider than he is tall...but..." she said, with a trace of guilt on her face, "that's not the point...he's just...really cocky and arrogant...just because he's got some big job at some drilling company...well, they go well together, I suppose...anyway, here's the really good news...my parents wrote saying that the wedding's at the end of May, and I can invite some of my friends...so...."—

"We're invited??" Dominique, Kierra and Alice asked together.

Lily nodded. "And you boys are too".

"Cool! I've never been to a muggle wedding before!!" James exclaimed.

"And," Lily continued, "you guys are welcomed to stay at my house for as long as you want...after the wedding, it's going to be really empty...since Petunia will be leaving...and my parents are touring Europe over the summer...I told them I can't go, since auror training starts in the summer, and I don't want to miss it if I get picked to train..."

"If? Of course you will!" James said at once. "You're one of the most brilliant students in our year! The ministry would have to be pretty thick to not let you in!"

Lily blushed. Before she could open her mouth to reply, Kierra let out a groan. "I don't even want to hear about that...I don't even know why I'm even bothering with trying out...they only pick a few people a year, at the most..."

"Exactly why I'm not bothering," Peter said, "anyway, I got a job offer at Gringotts..."

"Seriously?" Lily asked, looking quite impressed.

"yea...I'll be starting after we leave Hogwarts..." he replied with a small grin.

Remus sighed. "Well, Wormtail, you're lucky you've got something going for you...I don't even know what I'm going to do after graduation..."

"You don't know what you want to do?" Kierra asked.

"Well, being an auror would be cool...but the chances that they'd take on someone who's...well...like me...hell, I don't think there's anyone out there who'd hire me..." Remus said quietly. There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Finally, Lily sighed as she tucked her letter away in her pocket.

"This is ridiculus...all the injustice out there...werewolves...giants...half bloods, muggle borns...you name it...there's prejudice...it's horrible...and now's the worst time to have all this division...what with Voldemort getting more and more powerful...people getting killed all the time...his followers increase by the day..." she said angrily... Everyone around her nodded in agreement; Remus looked at her very gratefully.

"I know..." he said.

"Maybe your dad could help you find something..." Dominique suggested.

"In a publisher's company? I dunno...I'm not really into that... but then again, I probably won't have much of a choice..."

"Aw, Remus, don't be so pessimistic," Sirius said, "you need to have some confidence in yourself"—

"I'm not being pessimistic...I'm being realistic." Remus replied.

"You could go into teaching," Kierra suggested, "You're really smart...and you always explain things really well, you'd be good at it."

"She's right," James said, "and you like kids...you could always talk to Dumbledore"—

"No way." Remus said at once. "He's done too many favors for me"—

"But he wouldn't mind..." Alice said.

"No"—

"It's not like it's a favor...I mean, if a position opens up sometime, you could apply...you'd be qualified..." Sirius said.

"No!"

Everyone stopped immediately and looked nervously at Remus.

"I mean...no..." he said more calmly. "Look, Dumbledore's an excellent man...but he's done so much for me already...I can't keep going back to him for every thing"—

"Remus, you need to swallow your pride..." James said.

Remus glared at him. "Easy for you to say..."

"What?"

"That's all I have, James!" Remus exclaimed as he got up. "If I swallow it, I won't have anything left!" he shouted as he stormed off, climbing the stairs to the boys dormitory.

-

At first, no one spoke. Suddenly Dominique sighed and got up. "I'm gonna go talk to him..."

"Me too..." Lily said, getting up as well.

"Wait, if anyone should be talking to him, it should be his fellow marauders..." James said, getting up as well.

"Yea, he's right..." Sirius said as he and Peter also got up.

"We can't all go up," Dominique said, "he'll feel like we're ganging up on him...just one of us should go"—

"you're absolutely right." James said as he headed towards the stairs, only to be held back by Lily.

"Er, James, what makes you think that you're the only one who can talk to him?"

"Lily, I know you're the sweetest, most wonderful girl in the world, but...I'm better friends with him"—

"I am too!" Sirius started.

"What about me? So am I!" Peter chimed in.

"I've known him the longest, guys...let me..." Dominique said.

"Is there any point in me trying to argue for myself?" Alice asked Kierra.

"I don't think so..." Kierra said, getting up and heading towards the stairs as the rest of her friends argued.

"Look, he's a guy!" Sirius argued, "He needs one of his guy friends"—

"What are you talking about?" Dominique retorted, "you're the ones who are so insensitive...making him mad in the first place..."

"Guys, just shut up and sit down," Alice said, "Kierra already went up to see him..."

"Oh..." everyone said at once as they sat back down.

"Well...she is his girlfriend...I suppose it'd make more sense..." Lily muttered.

--

"Hey..." Kierra said as she stepped inside the boys dormitory. "Can I come in?" Remus, who sat on his bed, cross legged, glanced up momentarily at Kierra before he looked back down and nodded.

Kierra walked across the room and sat next to Remus, putting her arms around him. "You don't have to talk if you don't want to." She said, as she hugged him closer, "I just want to be with you."

After a few moments of silence, Remus sighed as he closed his eyes and leaned against her, hugging her back. "I love you..." he murmured.

---

Twenty minutes later, Kierra and Remus emerged from the boys' dormitory, hand in hand, talking quietly to each other. Though Remus didn't appear incredibly happy, he didn't look too upset either.

"Hey..." he said quietly as he rejoined his friends, "er...sorry about"—

"No need to be sorry, Moony..." James said, "If anyone should be sorry, it's me"—

"No...you didn't mean"—

"It's no one's fault...geez..." Sirius said, not looking up from his book. Remus glanced up at Sirius, but his eyes fell on the title of the book.

"Little wizards and Witches: Baby names from A-Z" Remus read aloud. "You're already looking into baby names?" he asked.

"Sure, why not?" Sirius asked, as he turned the page. "Hey Dominique, what do you think of the name Gary?"

Dominique made a small face. "Eh...I dunno..."

"I'm surprised you don't want to call it Sirius Junior..." James commented with a smirk.

"I did, Dominique didn't like that one either..." Sirius grumbled.

"I just don't think the world is ready for another Sirius, that's all..." Dominique said with a smile.

"Oooh I know a good name for a boy!" James said excitedly, "how about James? And if it's a girl...Jamie!!"

Sirius laughed. "There's an idea...what are you smiling about Evans?" he asked, as he saw Lily smiling distantly.

"Oh...nothing..." she said immediately.

"Aww, come on, tell us!" Alice insisted.

"Well...I was just thinking...of the names I like..." Lily said slowly.

"You've already thought about what you want to name our kids??" James asked incredulously. "Er...I mean your kids..." he added quickly.

Lily blushed as she nodded.

"Well, what are they?" Dominique asked. "I promise I won't steal them..."

"Well," Lily began, "I have a lot of girls names in mind, but if I had a boy, I'd definitely want to name him Harry..." she said with a small smile.

"Harry..." Sirius said to himself... "I like that name..."

"Any particular reason you like that name?" James asked.

Lily shrugged. "I dunno...I just like it...it's cute..."

James nodded. "Hmm...Harry...I like that name too...Harry...Harry Potter...has a nice ring to it!" he laughed as Lily made a face at him.

"Hey, I'll be back." Dominique said as she got up and headed towards the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Sirius called after her.

"Bathroom..." she replied as she disappeared up the stairs.

"I heard you have to go to the bathroom a lot when you're pregnant..." Kierra said, "is that true? Er, wait...I think that's when you're diabetic..."

James shrugged. "Beats me, I've never been pregnant...it'd be nice to though..." he stopped when he realized everyone was staring at him. "No! I mean, to have a kid..."

"Suure...that's what you meant..." Lily said sarcastically with a grin.

Kierra sighed. "Ehh...I dunno...looks like too much work...and too much pain..."

"Child birth doesn't look that bad..." Sirius muttered as he flipped through the pages.

"Have you even seen it?" Kierra asked.

"Er no"—

"It's hell, trust me..." Kierra replied, "My mum's a healer you know...she actually specializes in deliveries...and I've been with her to work before and seen it, I dunno how women can get those big...watermelons...out of...there..." she said with a shudder.

"But I think it'd be worth it in the end..." Lily said. "I mean, you get to have your own child...you know how rewarding it is?"

Kierra shrugged. "I guess..."

Sirius chuckled. "I feel so sorry for your kids, Kierra...such an unloving mother..."

Kierra grinned. "I'd feel sorry for them too...exactly why I don't want to have kids."

"Yea right..." James muttered, "Watch her have the most out of all of us...oh God, that's a scary thought...15 little Kierras running around...look out world..." he said, causing everyone to laugh, including Kierra.

"No seriously," she said, "I don't want kids...if I ever have the urge to be with one...I'll just uh...play with yours..."

"Seriously??" Remus asked. "You...you really don't want kids??"

"Er...not really..." Kierra said slowly. "Do you?"

"Well, yea...kind of..." he replied.

"Mmm...awkward...." Sirius said as he glanced from Kierra to Remus, picking up his book again to busy himself.

"Oh..." Kierra said, feeling very awkward now. "well..."

"How could you not like kids??" Remus asked.

Kierra sighed. "They're just....such bratty little...ass wipes..." she said, causing Alice and Lily to giggle.

"You used to be a bratty little ass wipe, Kierra...just remember that..." Lily said.

"What're you talking about?" James asked, "she still is! Ow!" he shouted as Kierra hit him on the arm, "I'm kidding!!"

"You can't be serious, Kierra..." Remus said, "I mean...like Lily said...it's a rewarding experience..."

"Well, it's a pleasure I'm willing to forego...I just don't want kids. Period."

"Well...what if I want kids?"

"Er...well...I dunno...If we ever cross that bridge, we'll worry about it then, eh?"

"As in...the bridge of...marriage?" Remus asked slowly.

"Er...yea...I guess..." Kierra replied.

Sirius chuckled as he shut his book. "You think you're not gonna have to worry about babies shooting out of you until you get married?"

"Uh, yea..." Kierra began.

Sirius doubled in laughter. "Kierra, where have you been? Do you not know what's going on with me and Dominique?? Do you not know what book I'm reading right now??"

"Oh..." Kierra said suddenly, as she felt herself blush. Dominique and Sirius were certainly not married...

"Speaking of the devil," Sirius continued, "Wonder what happened to Dominique...she's taking an awfully long time in the bathroom..."

"Maybe it was those beans she had for dinner...I warned her you know..." James said with a laugh.

Sirius frowned as he looked up to see Dominique coming down the stairs.

"D, there you are! What took you so long?" he asked as she slowly made her way to join her friends. She had a pale, distant look about her, and she was frowning slightly. "I have a bunch more baby names I want to tell you about—are you ok?" Sirius asked as he studied Dominique's face.

"baby..."

"er...yea, the baby..." Sirius said, staring at Dominique curiously.

Dominique shook her head slowly and looked at Sirius. "We're not having one..."

It took several seconds for Dominique's words to register. "What??" he asked finally. "What do you mean? Of course we are"—

Dominique shook her head again, but this time looked at the floor. "I was...I was just late...really late."

"Late for what?" James asked, "ooh..." he said quietly when he realized what that meant, and why Dominique was in the bathroom so long.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked.

Dominique nodded.

"Oh..."

"Well..." James said slowly, after several moments of silence, "this is a good thing for you guys, right? I mean...you guys didn't want to have one anyway...now you don't have to worry..."

Sirius nodded and sighed as closed his books of names and placed it on the table. "Yea...this is a good thing..." he said slowly, forcing the words to come out of his mouth. "I mean...yea, we can just...go back to living normal...no worries...it's a good thing, Dominique...right?" he asked as he took her hands in his own.

Dominique nodded and looked up at Sirius. "It is...it is...I mean...we weren't ready for it anyway...but...I just...feel weird..."

"yea?" Sirius asked as he gently stroked her arm. Dominique nodded again.

"All this time...I was scared...because I had a living thing...growing inside me...and now..."

"It's gone?"

Dominique shook her head. "It was never even there...Why am I so attached to something that never existed?" she asked, as her eyes became glassy with tears. "Why am I so sad..." tears fell freely from her face. "...over something I never wanted..."

Sirius pulled Dominique close to him and hugged her. "I'm asking myself the same thing, D."

----

"Er, what are you doing?" Remus asked Kierra, who was peering through doors as they walked back from the library together, weeks later.

"Looking for an empty classroom!" she said.

"Oh...of course," Remus replied, stilling looking at her curiously. "Because...?"

"Ah, here's one!" she said, opening the door and pulling Remus inside. Kierra quickly shut the door behind her and walked up to Remus. "What to you think I wanna do in an empty classroom with you?" she asked with a grin as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.

"mmm, ok..." he murmured as he kissed her back.

Though still glued by the lips, Kierra managed to push Remus along all the way across the room until she had backed him up against the teacher's desk at the front of the room. She then pushed him onto it, and pulled herself on top of him before continuing to kiss him. Remus however pulled away from her slightly and frowned.

"You wanna do it here?" he asked.

"Yes," she said quickly, pulling her wand out to lock the door and put an impediment charm on it, "it'll give us something to think about next time we're in here for Runes..." she added with a grin as she turned back to Remus and leaned in to kiss him; when he suddenly pulled away again.

"I dunno..." he said, still frowning.

"Oh, come on...there are no more classes in here for the rest of the day..." Kierra said hastily, "if we get a move on now"—

"No...I mean..." Remus sighed as he sat up on the desk, pulling Kierra off of him. "Remember with Dominique and Sirius..."

"She's not pregnant"—

"Yes, but she could've been...and you could be too...and well, I'm not ready for that responsibility...and certainly...not with you, if you don't even want to have kids..."

Kierra's mouth fell open. "You mean...you don't want to do it because I don't want kids??"

"No...I mean, it'd be bad enough if I got you pregnant...and the fact that you don't want to be a parent just makes it worse"—

"That sounds like the same thing to me! So...are you trying to punish me or something, for not wanting kids? Is that it??" Kierra asked angrily as she hopped off the desk.

"What?? No! No...I didn't mean it like that...I just want to be careful"—

"Careful??" Kierra sputtered. "Well genius, you should have thought about that before you started to feel me up in your house! I never asked you to!" Kierra couldn't help herself. She had never been turned down before...

"You never asked me to stop, either!" Remus retorted, "And I would've thought about it earlier, had I known about Dominique. Anyway, at least one of us has to be a bit thoughtful"—

"Are you calling me stupid??"

"No"—Remus said quickly, "I just mean...that you're not thinking ahead...and we need to...especially if we have such major differences between us...and if you think it's some kind of punishment, well"—

"I take that back," Kierra snapped, "being deprived of sex with you isn't a punishment at all...quite the contrary." She said as she grabbed her wand and stuffed it into her bag.

Remus stared at her as she stalked away.

"That's not what you said last time!" he called after her as she left the room. 'Did I just say that??' he thought to himself. Why was he acting so immature all of a sudden, when he had been trying to act mature minutes before? 'Stupid ego...' he muttered as he picked up his own book bag and headed out of the class room, "why do guys have such ego problems??"

---

(a/n: just when ya think theyre gonna be happily ever after.... Couldn't keep them together that long, u know...lol evil grin )

--

The following week, Lily and James strolled the grounds of Hogsmead together. Lily closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh scent of spring. She loved this time of the year. Lily however, was soon pulled out of her perfect state when she noticed Remus and Dominique walking down the street together, opposite from herself and James.

"Have you had any luck with Remus?" Lily asked James, indicating at Remus and Dominique.

James sighed and shook his head. "He's still mad at Kierra. I think this whole baby thing has gotten them both wound up..."

"yea," Lily agreed, "and their lack of communication isn't helping the situation, either..."

James nodded. "If only Remus didn't overhear Kierra...he was going to apologize to her too!"

"I know, I know...he just walked in on the wrong moment...had to hear her insulting him...then she feels bad, but he won't have her..."

"Interestingly, they're both calling each other selfish..." James said with a small smile.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I think they're both being selfish..."

"...Which is weird...because those two of all people...I've always seen them both as very obliging and stuff..." James commented.

"I know...and poor Dominique...she seems caught in the middle, they both seem to want her on their side...and they don't even realize, they're making her feel worse...she keeps saying that if she hadn't thought she was pregnant, Remus and Kierra never would've found out about their differences..." Lily said. "Makes them even more selfish, if you ask me..."

"Well," said James, glancing briefly into the window of the quidditch supplies store, "I hope they make up soon...it's getting really annoying...I've never seen Remus act so immature...er actually.." he said, pausing for a moment, "I don't think I've ever seen Remus act immaturely before..."

"That's true...he's usually more adult..." Lily said thoughtfully.

"Well," James said, as he and Lily waved to Alice and Frank, who had just passed by them, "Immaturity doesn't really suit him...Sirius, Peter and I can certainly pull it off, but definitely not Remus..."

Lily laughed. "Well, you're right there...hey," she said, stopping at a store window, "Is that Sirius in there?"

James stepped up to the window and pressed his face closer to it as Lily had done. Sure enough, Sirius was standing inside the shop, talking animatedly to the young witch standing at the counter.

"You don't think..." Lily started slowly.

"Impossible...he can't be..." James said, as he pulled away from the window and headed towards the door of the shop, with Lily at his heels.

"Sirius"— James said as he entered the store with Lily, "what are you doing"—

"James!" Sirius said quickly, backing away from the counter and made to hide his hands behind his back, but too late—Lily gasped as she grabbed Sirius's arm and looked down at him. "No way..." she murmured.

James glanced at Sirius before looking down to see what he had tried to hide. Suddenly his jaw dropped.

"Sirius Fitzwilliam Black...." James murmured, "are you INSANE??"

Sirius smiled slightly. "Just a little..."