A/N: Sorry it took so long for us to get this chapter up! AccioDanRad went on vacation and Knobby had computer problems- you all know how that is. We hope that you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 18: A Life Worth Living
"Hello, Harry, wake up," a quiet voice whispered.
Harry's eyes slowly fluttered open, searching for the source of the soothing voice and slowly landing upon an older healer.
The man smiled gently at the raven haired boy. "Hello, my name is Healer Colin."
Harry silently looked at the healer; he was groggy and not quite awake yet. He quickly shook himself from his silent coma.
"Um, hi, my name is Harry- Harry Potter."
The healer laughed. "Trust me Harry- Harry Potter, there is no need for introductions on your part."
A sense of uneasiness immediately swept over Harry.
Sensing Harry's discomfort, Healer Colin quickly added, "You see Harry, I have been your healer for the last few days- you just haven't been awake to meet me."
Harry's mouth twitched into a small smile. He still wasn't sure on whether or not he liked this man or not.
"Yes, well, anyhow Harry, I am going to talk to you about some very serious medical issues and I need you to listen and pay close attention," the healer said in a very serious-like tone.
Harry slowly nodded his head. Here we go, he thought to himself.
"What- what's wrong with me?" Harry asked quietly, he had been silently ignoring the ache that reached every inch of his battered body.
Healer Colin's head shot up at the directness of the question. "Well, Harry there's not just one thing wrong with you. I mean, off the bat there's the obvious. I'm not quite sure what has happened but it seems that your body has been able to hold up through severe amounts of abuse, it's a miracle that you survived. We were able to easily rid you of some of the smaller scratches that you had- particularly on your face, but I'm afraid that you have had several deep tissue damage-"
"You mean scars, Healer Colin," Harry said quietly.
Healer Colin paused at Harry's heartbreaking tone. "Um, I'm sorry, yes scars. There are several on your back. Um, we aren't certain but they could of possibly been made by a whip of some sort," Healer Colin paused as Harry closed his eyes and slowly nodded his head.
"But the scar that stunned us most is on your inner thigh-"
"No!" Harry said loudly as he cringed, a sudden flashback of his uncle stabbing his leg with the hot poker and the pain of that night flooded his mind.
"Harry, are you alright?" Healer Colin asked concerned.
"P-Please don't talk about that."
"Well, Harry, I have to tell you that this is going to be extremely sore for a very long time. We have concocted a medical potion for you to rub on it, but what this particular wound needs most is time. Harry, it is incredibly important that you don't irritate it. Which means that you can't do certain things, you know like running or-" Healer Colin paused, casting a nervous glance at Harry, "Or riding a broomstick."
Harry shot him a dangerous glare. "What?" he asked sharply.
"Harry, it's imperative that you don't. If you ride a broomstick it could have serious repercussions on the wound-"
"But healer, you don't understand! I'm the seeker for our house team! You can't do this to me! This is my year!"
"I'm sorry Harry, I wish there was something I could do but you have to understand. If you ride a broomstick it could possibly reopen the wound. It could get extremely serious."
Harry quickly turned his glare at the wall. "Anything else that I shouldn't do?"
The healer looked nervously at the boy. "Um, Harry, about that. It's just that, er, any activity that may, er, involve something, um, sexual has to be-"
"Healer, I'm just going to stop you there. You have nothing to worry about," Harry said quietly, slightly embarrassed.
"Oh okay, right then, what else?" the healer asked as he glance at his charts. "Ah, yes, Harry, you have had extreme malnutrition for quite some time now- our specialists think it may have even started years before you were, um, abducted. I'm sorry to say that eating too much food might possibly shock your system-"
"Healer Colin, not to be rude or anything, but anything having to do with my diet should be run through Mrs. Weasley over me."
The healer smiled broadly, "They told me you might say that- she has copies of your charts and dietary foods already.
Harry swiftly looked up at the healer, "Great, is that all then?"
The healer's smile quickly faded. "H-Harry, this is the part I knew I'd have trouble talking to you about."
Harry knew what was coming.
"Now, I'm no psychiatrist-"
Then please spare us both and don't get into it, Harry thought.
"But there are some scars that run deeper than skin. I'm of course talking about the emotional scars that I know you have. Many of them cause by Mrs. Lestrange, maybe even a few caused before Adflictation Lair. Harry, no one can erase what has happened to you and I most certainly can't tell you what to do, but Harry, it would be best not to isolate yourself like I know you will be tempted to do. What you need right now is companionship- someone to talk to and someone who you know will listen- someone who you trust," Healer Colin said softly as he stood up to leave.
Anger grew up in Harry's chest as he shot the healer a dark look. "You don't know what I need."
The healer smiled sympathetically, "Judging by the show last night- I think what you need most right now is Mr. Weasley."
I………………………………………………I
"He still looks pale. Are you sure he's getting better?"
"Hermione, don't worry. Harry will pull through this."
Ron, it was Ron, thought Harry through the haze of his sleep. He had to wake up, he wanted to talk to Ron, to Hermione. His whole body was killing him as she rolled over on his side.
"Shhh, Ron! Harry, are you awake?" Hermione called softly, as she grabbed Harry's hand.
"Mmm, yeah," they heard Harry groan.
"Harry, it's us. Harry, it's me," interjected Ron.
Harry's bright green eyes opened and he squinted in the light. "'Mione, Ron," he croaked out. They both smiled.
"Harry, Harry I've missed you so much," Hermione said, tears silently falling down her cheeks. "You- you have no idea what it's been like without you."
Harry smiled uncomfortably, "I-I missed you too."
Harry's stare shifted to Ron. Ron's heart melted. "Hey mate, I'm glad to see you're awake."
Harry forced a smile. "So, um, Ron, are- are you alright?"
Ron smiled. "I'm fine, Harry. Really, great."
Harry smiled a little. "That's good. And you 'Mione?"
At these words, Hermione burst into tears. "Oh, Harry, I thought I had lost you. Don't you ever do that ever again. You gave me such a fright. I'm so sorry I got mad at you. It's not your fault- it's mine."
"Yeah, mate, if we wouldn't have gotten mad at you- if we would have understood, this wouldn't have happened."
Harry carefully turned his head towards his best friends. "Don't worry, guys, I'm going to be fine really."
Ron smiled. "Yeah, we'll be back at Hogwarts. We're going to make sure that you have the time of your life! We'll get to annoy Malfoy, play Quidditch."
Harry averted his eyes down to his sheets. "Yeah, that-that'll be fun."
Ron glanced at Hermione. Something he had said had affected Harry, but what?
"Harry? What's wrong? Are you felling alright?" Hermione asked, worried.
Harry cleared his throat. "I'm- I'm not going to be able to play, Quidditch. I'm sorry. The Healer he said-that I can't." Harry kept his head bent towards his sheets.
"But why? I don't understand. They said that you're getting better," Ron asked, confused.
"There are some scars, he said that they can't get bothered too much, might affect the healing process. "You- you don't, ya know, hate me now do you?""
"What? Harry, hell no. Why would I hate you for not being able to play?" Ron asked anxiously.
Harry shrugged.
"But, I still don't understand Harry? What scars? Where? They look like they are healing."
Harry glanced up at Ron. "There are some, Ron, that you can't exactly see. Ones that might affect my flying." Harry hated admitting his weakness to his best friend.
"But wh-"
"It doesn't matter!" Harry yelled, his temper rising. Why did everything have to happen to him?
Hermione started silently crying again, while Ron kept silent. Harry continued to breathe deeply, trying to keep his temper in check.
"We understand, Harry. You don't need to tell us anything you're not comfortable with," said Hermione.
"Yeah, mate. Don't worry about it. We'll still have fun at Hogwarts without Quidditch." Harry smiled at his friends' words.
"Oh, before I forget!" exclaimed Hermione, "I have something for you. Ron and I found it." Hermione dug into her bag and pulled something out.
"Ron found this in Sirius's bed. We, uh, thought you might want it." Hermione handed the object to Harry.
"Oreo! Wow!" Harry gasped. Harry felt his cheeks redden in embarrassment. "Um, thanks."
Hermione watch as Harry placed Oreo next to him.
"Um, Hermione, I know that you haven't seen Harry in a while, but would you mind-"
Hermione placed her hands over Ron's soft lips. "It's alright, Ron, you don't have to say anymore. I understand."
"Thanks," Ron whispered as Hermione stood up to leave.
She gave a Harry one last squeeze. "Harry, I don't think you will ever understand how much we love you."
Harry smiled softly as Hermione let go of his hand and left the room.
Ron stood up and took Hermione's place by Harry's bed. "Hey listen mate, I need you to know that I will never understand everything that happened in Adflictation Lair. What I saw down there was minimal to what you experienced. But I- I guess I just wanted to let you know that you can always, ya know, talk to me if, ya know, you needed to."
Harry forced a small smile. "Thanks."
Ron smiled brightly. "Harry, everything is going to be great now. We can pick everything up just like it always was."
Harry's smiled flickered but Ron didn't seem to notice. The damage had been done- he only hoped he could hide it for all he was worth.
I………………………………………..I
Harry turned his head as he heard the door open, only to see Mrs. Weasley walking in.
"Hello, dear. How are you?" she asked, a smile on her face.
"I'm fine, Mrs. Weasley," lied Harry.
"I've brought some of my famous soup. Care to have some? The Healers say that it would be best for you to start eating on your own and stop drinking the potions as soon as you can," she informed.
"I'll try some," said Harry. Truthfully, he didn't know if his stomach could hold it. But there was no way he could upset Mrs. Weasley.
Mrs. Weasley smiled as she sat down next to Harry and placed the soup on her lap.
Harry glanced down at Mrs. Weasley.
"Here, I'm going to feed you. Just open up." Harry did so as Mrs. Weasley placed the spoon into Harry's mouth. It was the best thing that Harry had tasted since he could remember; he savored the taste like he would never get something so good ever again.
Harry had to admit, having Mrs. Weasley feed him was something that he enjoyed. It was one of the closest moments he had with someone who actually considered him their son, even if he didn't have red hair.
Mrs. Weasley went to go give Harry another spoonful of soup but he stopped her. "I'm full, Mrs. Weasley."
Mrs. Weasley's face fell. "Are you sure dear? You haven't even had half the bowl."
"Really, my stomach can't handle anymore, I'm sorry." And he truly was.
Mrs. Weasley nodded her head as she placed the soup on the nightstand next to Harry's hospital bed. She grabbed Harry's hand. "Harry, I-I can't express to you- I can't tell you how-how," Mrs. Weasley let a tear slowly slip from her eye. "Harry, I can't tell you how happy I am that you- that you're here right now. You don't know what it was like for me, sitting in that other room thinking that you were going to-"
Mrs. Weasley paused, not allowing herself to say the thoughts that clouded her mind. "Harry, I don't know if you realize this but, I, um, I consider you like one of my own. I-I don't know what I would of done if- I just don't know. Harry, what can I do? Please, tell me, what can I do to make you realize how much I love you?" Tears were flowing down Mrs. Weasley's face. "Harry- I love you. Do you understand? And not just me, Harry, it's everyone- Arthur, Dumbledore, the entire Order, so many of your classmates and especially Ron and Hermione. Harry, you are the entire Wizarding World's hero- everyone, Harry."
Harry watched silently as the older woman balled her eyes out in front of him.
"Mrs. - Mrs. Weasley, please don't cry. It's just me- I'm nothing to cry over. I'm not worth-"
"How can you say that?"
Harry felt his throat tighten up.
"Love, you've just been through a terrible ordeal."
Harry felt a tear fall down his cheek and fall onto his pillow as more followed the first.
"Oh, Harry, it's alright."
Harry sniffed. "No, it's not," he responded as he let out a choked sob.
"Come, here, love," cooed Mrs. Weasley as she allowed Harry to place his head on her shoulder.
"I don't know what to do, everything has gotten messed up."
"Don't worry, Harry. I'll always be here for you if you need me, okay?" She felt Harry nod his head as his tears slowed down.
"Yeah, I know."
"And Harry-" Mrs. Weasley paused as the door slowly creaked open and Dumbledore stepped into the room.
Dumbledore smiled dimly through his wrinkled mouth. "Molly, do you think you could give Harry and me just a few moments together?"
"But, Dumbledore-"
"Please, Molly, Harry and I are going to have a little talk. I'll tell you when you can come back in," Dumbledore said firmly.
Molly silently nodded her head and walked out the door.
Harry looked away from Dumbledore, "She didn't have to leave."
"Yes, she did Harry. I have a lot of explaining to do, most of which is just between me and you."
Harry shrugged.
"Harry, do you know why Bellatrix took you to Adflictation Lair?"
Harry slowly nodded his head. "Kind of, she said some stuff."
"Like what?" Dumbledore cautiously asked.
Harry closed his eyes, weary of remembering the horrid memories of Adflictation Lair. "She said she wanted something from me. She said she would torture me until she got it."
"And Harry, do you know what she wanted."
Harry was silent, he only looked into Dumbledore's old eyes.
Dumbledore nodded his head as realization struck. "You know. How did you find out? Did she tell you?"
A tear slowly fell down Harry's cheek. "She- she brought in some sort of replica of my mother- I don't know how. But when this woman- this thing- touched me, I-I went back to that night at Godric's Hollow. I-I saw them put the spell on me- my own parents- I saw them murdered."
Dumbledore nodded his head. "If I am not mistaken, Lord Voldemort came to Godric's Hollow in time to see them cast the spell from the outside of the house. He knew they had done a spell- he just didn't know which one. He had recently released this information to very few Death Eaters. He had told them of his plan to torture it out of you, s you were the only true witness of that night. But you see, this power that your parents have put in you can not be brought out through torture- you have to find it within yourself.
"Bellatrix, nor Voldemort know of this. Grasping an opportunity to hopefully please her master, Bellatrix used her knowledge of Grimmauld Place, a knowledge that I highly underestimated, to break in and kidnap you. You know, of course that Bellatrix Is Sirius's cousin. She had visited Grimmauld Place several times as a child. She knew this was our base of operations and she knew exactly where we were. The second we found you missing, I knew exactly what had happened. I hated myself for not taking action before then.
"She took you to Adflictation Lair, which I'm sure she explained to you, is an ancient place where her family used to torture muggles, centuries and centuries ago. My knowledge of the place was minor until we found out that you were there."
"Listen, Dumbledore, I honestly don't care now," Harry said quietly. "It's done now- over with."
Dumbledore looked into Harry's emerald eyes. "Harry, there are things we may never know about what happened in Adflictation Lair, things that you may not want to tell us- but Harry, when you are ready we can talk."
Harry turned away from Dumbledore's never-ending gaze. "I-I don't think I w-want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. I just want to forget it."
Dumbledore nodded his head. "Maybe a later time then."
There was a steady silence between the two. Harry sat fidgeting with his hands, Dumbledore watching the young boy.
"Harry, what is that sitting next to you?" Dumbledore suddenly asked.
"This?" Harry asked pointing to the photo album sitting next to his bed. "It's just a book with some pictures of my mom and my aunt that Professor McGonagall found while she was getting my stuff. She thought that I might like to look at it."
"May I look at it?"
"Um, sure, it's not very interesting- well, it was to me, but maybe not to you," Harry said quietly, handing the book to Dumbledore.
Dumbledore flipped the book open, his eyes quickly ripping across each page.
He looked at Harry and smiled. "I have to go now, but would you mind if I steal this for a bit."
Harry's stomach dropped, he had loved looking through the pages of the book- at his mother and her sister. He sadly smiled at Dumbledore, "Sure, it's nothing important," he said quietly.
Quite the contrary, Harry. Quite the contrary, Dumbledore thought to himself. "Thank you- I shall have this back to you in no time at all."
Harry nodded slowly.
"Oh, and Harry," Dumbledore said slowly, walking back over to Harry. "I-I just wanted to say that," Dumbledore paused and took Harry's hand in his own, "That I am so sorry."
Harry let yet another tear slip. "It's not your fault."
Dumbledore looked sadly at the boy and disapparated away.
I………………………………..I
"Hello, Mr. Potter," a nurse said brightly as she walked into Harry's hospital room. "How did you sleep last night?"
"Oh, I slept alright," Harry said quietly. In truth he hadn't slept a wink. His thoughts had been filled with the torment and torture that he had endured over the last few weeks. The picture of Bellatrix in his mind was still fresh; he could still fill her pressing against his body or the quick slap of her whip.
"Well, sweetheart, I'm not sure how well your feeling right now but we have something very special to occupy your time. It's this muggle device called a, um, telescreen, I think," the nurse said in confusion.
"Anyways, it's up here in the corner," she walked over to the corner of the room and pulled a white sheet off the television, grabbing the remote as she walked back over to Harry. "Here you go. Now this thingy here lets you turn it on and change it to different shows."
Harry smiled nicely up to her, "Thank you, nurse, I think I've got this covered."
"Oh, good! Now, there are some interesting muggle shows on different channels but some wizards were actually able to come up with a way to use magic to make a wizard channel that we can only see. I think it's the number 631 but I could be wrong," she said eagerly.
"Okay, thank you so much, miss," Harry added with a smile as the witch bustled out of the room. At the Dursley's Harry had never had the remote to himself so he was excited to finally be able to watch the shows that he wanted.
He clicked the power button and started to flip through the channels. Nope, nope, nothing good there, nope, nope- wait- "Was that Percy?" he gasped loudly to himself, quickly clicking back to the channel.
Harry watched aghast as photographers and news reporters watched Percy Weasley intently.
"As a representative of the Minister of Magic, I am sad to say that we received word yesterday that Harry Potter, also known as the boy who lived, was checked into St. Mungos Hospital yesterday in order to receive serious treatment for severe physical abuse caused over the last few weeks by Bellatrix Lestrange.
"It appears that Lestrange kidnapped Harry while he was in the custody of Albus Dumbledore. Since the death of Harry's legal guardian, the Ministry of Magic is ashamed to admit that we have been extremely negligent of the issues surrounding Harry but the events of the past few weeks have put an end to our ignorance. We are proud to say we are going to do everything in our power to gain guardianship of Harry."
Harry's mouth fell open. "No," he whispered to himself. "NO! HELP! SOMEBODY GET DUMBLEDORE PLEASE!" Harry screamed at the door, pressing the red button on the side of the door for assistance. "Please! Somebody get Dumbledore!"
A nurse came rushing into the room, "What's wrong, Harry?"
"Please! Go get Dumbledore- or Mrs. Weasley- or anybody! Please!" Harry screamed, a tear running down his cheek.
I've already been taken away from them once- I can't go through it again.
I………………………………I
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