Chapter 14: A Walk in His Shoes

This chapter will be told in Cliff's POV

That night when I left her home, the only thing that was on my mind was Jen. As I walked down the dark cobblestone path back to the Inn, I couldn't help but wonder if she still had feelings for me. The kiss... was it purely by accident that she fell into my arms. Was it purely by accident that her lips landed on mine?

I was so confused. What about Ann? She would surely wonder where I have been all day. I've never meant to hurt Ann, but I knew her jealousy would blow this all out of proportion. She had reason to be mad... I had just kissed Jen, and that one was not purely by accident.

As I approached the Inn, I took a deep breath. I pushed the door open, light bursting from inside and filling the surrounding area. It was quite noisy when I entered, for everyone had already gathered around the bar. As I entered I saw Duke upon the floor, cheerfully laughing and swinging his wine glass from side to side. I couldn't help but laugh. This was the third time this week that Duke had become completely drunk. I felt sorry for Manna.

"Cliffie!" I heard someone call. The familiar voice was coming from the upper floor. Up on the loft was Ann, a cleaning rag in her hand and a smile on her face. "Wow, sure is noisy in here. How 'bout you come up here while I finish cleaning and we can talk..." she smiled and re-entered one of the guest rooms. I headed toward the stairs, slowly climbing them until I reached the top.

When I pushed open the door, I saw Ann playfully humming as she wiped clean one of the dressers. I looked at her and smiled. I plumped down on my bed and let the air filter into my lungs. I looked at the clock. It was nearly 11PM, and I had not seen Ann all day. Ann stood up and placed the rags on the table and sat down on the bed.

"Where've you been all day?" she asked happily, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

"Just helping Jen out. With that injured leg she needed a little extra help," I replied, trying to keep any expression from appearing on my face.

"Oh... I see. Well, actually I was hoping we could go fishing tomorrow. You know, rent a boat, and just go out into the middle of the ocean and fish, like we use to do," Ann said, kind of nervously.

"That sounds... fun," I replied sitting up and looking at her. She looked straight into my eyes and kissed me. It was weird. Although Ann and I frequently kissed each other playfully, this kiss just felt so foreign to me. There was no spark. There was nothing. I kept seeing the scene in the kitchen where Jen fell into my arms, running over and over again in my mind. I couldn't do this to myself anymore. I couldn't just keep denying my feeling about Jen. I couldn't keep hurting Ann like this.

"Ann... I can't..." I said to her, gently pulling away from her. I looked into her eyes. She was confused, I could tell. Her eyes did not have that shimmer of happiness that she use to have.

"Cliff... what's wrong... did I do something wrong?" she asked me.

"No... no... it's my fault Ann. I... I... I think we should break up..."

"Cliff... wait... why? I thought everything was going fine. I thought that me and you were just fine. What happened?" she said, a small tear trickled down her cheek.

"Ann... I really like Jen, and every time I am with her, I can't help myself. I never meant to hurt you Ann, and I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Cliff, how... why...?. You've only know that girl for a season. I've known you for nearly six seasons now! I thought... I thought something very foolish," she replied, more tears starting to appear in her eyes.

"Ann... what did you think?"

"I thought... you loved me, but obviously you didn't. And even worse Cliff... I thought I loved you. Cliff... Do whatever you want, but remember... I'm not always going to be here for you to fall back on." Ann stood up and ran out of the room. From the hallway I could hear the door to her bedroom slam. I felt horrible. I got up and walked over to outside her door. I could hear soft muffled cries from within. I lightly rapped on the door.

"Go away Cliff... you've done enough damage..." she said from inside. What had I just done? I had left someone... someone that actually loved me, for a girl that I did not even know but a season ago. Ann was right. I had made a mistake. Jen... Jen could not possibly like me, she had Kai.

"What have I done...?" I walked back down the hallway and down the stairs into the noisy bar. From behind the counter Doug called out to me.

"Where are you going?" he asked, cleaning a glass.

"Out."

"Well, you better find somewhere else for the night, because I'm locking the doors at midnight whether you're here or not... you understand?"

"Fine..." I mumbled and quickly shut the door behind me.

The dark consumed me again, and the chilly night air blew through my hair. I started to walk, where I didn't know, just staring at the ground as I went.

"I am a horrible person..." I thought to myself. "Six long months I had been happy with Ann, led her to believe she loved me, and when a beautiful face walked into my life, pretending for one minute that she 'felt' something for me, I dropped the girl that cared about me."

What was wrong with me? Had my shallowness consumed my every thought?

"No...no...I like Jen for her... not for how she looks, although her beauty was more than I had ever seen. Jen was fun. Fun to be around, fun to hang out with. She liked me, for me. But then... so did Ann..."

As I looked up from the ground, I noticed that I had led myself to Jen's farm. Kanter Ranch. So peaceful it looked at night. In the distance I could see the chicken coop, the soft stream running along the edge of the field, and I could hear the soft whinnying of Epona from the stable, and the rustling of the big apple tree that cast shadows from the moon over the field. So wonderful it would be to live here.

I could not wait here, not wishing to wake Jen from her sleep. I continued to walk, straight through the fields, until I crossed over the bridge leading to Mother's Hill. The Inn was surely locked by now, and I would be unable to sleep in the warm bed in the Inn. But it was summer, and I had spent many years before sleeping under the stars.

Before I met Ann, I had wandered for three years, since the age of 15. I was a boy too old to be considered a kid, but still too young to work. So I traveled. I traveled to many cities, towns, mountains, and then finally came to Mineral Town, where I had only planned to stay for a few weeks. But the place stuck to me. So quaint were the people, so peaceful, not busy like the many cities I had visited before.

I climbed the steep hill up toward the spring. I could hear the soft waterfall crash upon the river, and the bubbling spring. I sat down under the tree, and looked up at the sky. Not a cloud in the sly and every star could be seen in the vast area. I laid my head against the trunk of the tree and closed my eyes.

"Ann... I am sorry. Sorry for everything I have put you through the past month. I care about you, but I couldn't go on hurting you like this," I said to myself. Why couldn't I have told her that? "And Jen..." Jen... she was the girl I wanted to be with. Jen was the girl I could picture myself being with. I was foolish, I know, and what would I, the vagabond, ever know about Love. "Foolish thoughts..." I said angrily, my eyes still closed, and my head directed toward the sky. Another cool breeze swept over me, and soon I fell asleep, leaving the confusion of my life for a brief few hours that night until the warm summer sun woke me that next morning.