Step I a: Discussion
"I love Blink," I told David over the phone later that day.
"I'd hope so," David said, sounding distracted. Probably reading, or trying to do math while talking to me. Wouldn't have been the first time. He's a sweet guy, but he takes school very, very seriously. Which is frustrating when you need attention and advice, like right now. I mean, Blink would never read while we were talking. Which brings me back to my point.
"David, pay attention. I'm in love. With Blink."
"I am paying attention, I heard you the first time, and I'm still trying to figure out what exactly is new and or interesting about this."
Sometimes, David is incredibly annoying.
"No, I'm serious; I'm in love with my best friend. Can you please take it seriously for a few minutes?"
I hate pleading, but I needed to talk to someone and after David, the next person on my list was Race. And Race is a sweet guy and all, but he's far too close to Blink. And, hard as it is to imagine, he's more sarcastic than David.
Anyway, once you convince David, he's helpful.
"And you didn't know this before?" David asked, sounding a little too surprised for my liking.
"What are you talking about?"
"I thought…You just realized? Today? Mush, you've been in love with him all the time I've known you."
"No, I haven't!" Then I stopped to consider that for a moment. "Well, okay, maybe, but I didn't know - David, Blink's my best friend. You and Jack's issues aside, most people aren't in love with their best friends." David snorted.
"I don't have issues with Jack, and Mush, come on. You and Blink? I spent the first month here thinking the two of you were together. You're like…I don't know." As if I wasn't already in a state of shock. I mean, Blink and I don't act the least bit like a…okay, well maybe sometimes we're a little more touchy-feely than most. And maybe we're closer than most friends. And we spend a lot of time together. But still.
"Blink's straight," I said. And David laughed. He tried to cover it with a cough, but I know it was a laugh.
"You are no help. At all," I told him.
"Mush, what do you want me to say?"
I thought about it for a moment.
"This too shall pass?" I tried.
"Calm down, it's not that bad."
"If Blink finds out? David, it'll be the end of my life."
"You're so melodramatic," he said, but he sounded concerned. As if it had finally hit him that this was not a good thing, not for me, and not for my friendship with Blink. God, Blink could never, ever find out about this.
And if David had a point, well, I was ignoring that right then.
"So what do I do?" I asked, biting my lip.
"Tell him," David said, like that was somehow easy.
"David, have you been listening at all? I can't tell Blink."
"You tell Blink everything, anyway. He's not going to freak. The worst he'll do is say he's not interested."
"You tell Jack everything, and he wouldn't freak either," I pointed out. David went silent for a short moment.
"I don't have a thing for Jack, Mush, you have an overactive imagination," David said, and then paused. "Well, I suppose you could hope it'll pass."
I banged my forehead against my wall a couple of times. David made a sympathetic noise. At least, I think it was a sympathetic noise. It could have been a stifled laugh.