Chapter Four

Manifestations of Anxiety

Very early the next morning, Aurelius felt something tickling his cheek and tried to wave it off. A moment later, it happened again.

"Achilles, stop it," Aurelius hissed grumpily, waving his snake away again and pulling the covers around his neck, the snake had to slither back a bit to keep from being flung off.

"Your father wants you to help him in the lab," Achilles hissed in his ear insistently.

"Now? But it's still dark! What time is it?" Aurelius hissed, carefully turning over.

"The rodents are still awake."

"Yes, that's extremely helpful," Aurelius sighed, grabbing his watch and staring at it. "It's five o'clock in the bloody morning! Doesn't that man ever sleep?"

"Fathers are mysteries to me," the snake said simply. "I was hatched."

Aurelius rubbed his eyes a moment then looked around, focusing in on the strange shadow in the corner of the room. Realizing it was an empty owl stand he sat up with a yawn, wondering where Fluke was.

"Is he the only one awake?" Aurelius asked, getting out of bed and throwing on his night robe.

"He was," the snake said as Aurelius picked him up. The snake immediately curled around his forearm and Aurelius pushed his feet into his slippers and shuffled down the stairs.

Already the lab in the basement was alive with bubbling cauldrons, and tables of precisely measured ingredients were grouped together between crates of immaculate potion bottles and phials waiting to be filled. His father looked as if he had slept in his robes but was otherwise wide-awake. He nodded as Aurelius came down the stairs, ignoring the grumpy look on his face. Descartes, Severus' Stymphalian, cawed out cheerfully in greeting, his cry louder than any rooster and even more annoying. Rasputin, the monitor basilisk, turned a glass eye towards Aurelius from where he lay on top of a bookshelf before going back to his nap, lazily waiting for the first rays of light to peek out of the tiny window above him.

"Good, you're here. I need another pair of able hands to help me finish restocking before we leave and it needs to be done this morning," Severus said, his eyes not leaving his work.

"Fine, but does it have to be done quite this early in the morning?" Aurelius complained, putting Achilles down to wander.

"Some of these potions have to simmer for four or five hours," Severus said evenly. "Considering you retired to your room last night before dinner, I thought perhaps you at least would be rested enough to help me. Check on the Pepper-up and Butterfly Balm, please." Resignedly Aurelius pulled up his sleeves and went to check on the two potions. "You did manage to get some rest, I hope," Severus added, sorting through a batch of pansy petals with a skeptical eye.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I?" Aurelius said irritably, stirring the balm. "Have you seen Fluke?"

"I sent him for the morning newspaper. He seemed restless and I thought it would do him some good to keep busy," Severus said. Aurelius turned and squinted at him suspiciously.

"Does this have anything to do with why I'm down here?" Aurelius asked.

"Aurelius, if that balm is done, move it out of the cauldron oven so it can cool and I can start on the next one," Severus said. Aurelius frowned and grabbed some hot pads, dutifully turning his attention to the oven. "You're down here because you're capable in the lab and my time right now is quite limited…especially time I can count on being uninterrupted," he said, glancing at his watch. "So if you have anything in particular on your mind, now's the time. Here, set these on the drying trays for me," he added, handing him the bowl of petals the moment Aurelius' hands were free. "I have a feeling we're going to be needing more Heart's Ease Balm before the end of the year."

"There is one thing I wanted to ask," Aurelius admitted after he had begun to lay the petals out on the screens. "I was wondering if we could come to school early instead of going to Harry's."

"No, I don't think so. I'd much prefer it if you went to the Potter's," Severus said.

"But isn't Hogwarts safer?" Aurelius asked.

"Aurelius, those two weeks before school are the two most hectic weeks of teaching and neither myself or your mother will have much time to look after you."

"We hardly need looking after," Aurelius said. "Especially Alex and myself…she's nearly out of school and my marks in Defense…"

"Nearly out isn't out yet," Severus cut him off firmly. "And until then, you'll do what I think is best."

"Without question?" Aurelius challenged him.

"Of course without question," Severus said.

"Sorry, can't do it," Aurelius said, Severus' eyes flicking up from his work. "You've got only yourselves to blame for encouraging us to be independent. I don't want to go to Harry's."

"Very well. Would you mind telling me why?" Severus said, watching as Aurelius slid the last of the trays on top of the oven.

"Well, maybe it's because I'd like to know that Jamie and Cedric have a chance to make it to Hogwarts too," Aurelius snapped, and then immediately regretted it. Severus didn't react at first, finishing his measurements and taking the temperature of one of the beakers he had under a burner before adding it.

"Have a seat, Mr. Snape," he said at last, nodding to a stool nearby. "Class is in session." Aurelius sighed and sat down, watching as Severus gently stirred the solution to the concentration he wanted and put down the glass mixer in his hand. "Aurelius, despite the gross rumors in the papers about me coaching you in OWLS, you and I know at least from an academic perspective that you are brilliant for your age. I would even go so far to say your knowledge in Defense is well beyond NEWT level. Do not take my caution to mean that I doubt that you can handle yourself. This is more about making certain that if there is another confrontation, we will not be caught at a disadvantage or unaware again. Now, what is the definition of fear I taught you?"

"'A manifestation of anxiety caused by a perceived or actual loss of control over any given situation,'" Aurelius quoted without enthusiasm.

"And the best defense against it?"

"Knowledge and preparation," Aurelius said boredly.

"Yes, well, there is a reason that I drill that into every student from first year on, you know," Severus said.

"You've been drilling it into us since we were five," Aurelius glowered.

"Then perhaps it's time we applied it to this particular situation," Severus said, sitting down and watching his mixture bubble. "Aurelius, we would have to be blind not to see that this affected you more than that bump on your head. I know you're reeling. We all are. There's nothing you could have done to have saved them," he said quietly. "Had you not done what they had asked and hadn't kept your head, you would have died as well, despite their best efforts to save you. Your survival is proof that they didn't die in vain."

"Then how come I feel like a coward?" Aurelius murmured.

"This is beginning to sound like another conversation I had once," Severus sighed, getting up again. "Aurelius, why do you want to be an Auror?"

"Well, to try to prevent other kids from having to go through all the craziness we went through growing up for starters," Aurelius said.

"In that case you'd be a teacher. And good luck," Severus said dryly.

"I meant more like against people like Lucius being able to hang over us all those years acting against us and us not being able to do anything about it," Aurelius said quietly. "And Longbottom… the fact that he's out time-served after what he did makes me sick to my stomach."

"You're hardly the only one to feel that way, I assure you," Severus admitted, turning the burner off.

"I've always been good at putting things together. I've always been good at Defense. What better way for me to make a difference than to stop bastards like that before they tear someone else's life apart?" Aurelius said, Severus nodding as he bottled the mixture.

"So what happened to you the other day hasn't changed your resolve?" he asked. Aurelius slowly shook his head.

"If anything, I feel stronger about it. Although…"

"Yes?"

"Well, it's not like any of us could really do anything to Ciardoth," Aurelius said in a low voice. "She's too powerful."

"If that is true, how come she keeps running?" Severus pointed out. "How come she is gone for such long periods of time in between attacks?"

"Well, usually she doesn't run until you show up," Aurelius said, and then grew even more somber. "Father, there's something I have to tell you. Actually, it's been bothering me for a while now but I didn't want to bring it up while Mum was around," he said. Severus gazed at him curiously. "That night at the Riddle House when you called Ciardoth out…when she said she saw you die and you said that she'd die as well and that's why she was doing all this. Something in her face…I can't exactly read her, and yet somehow I knew it was close to right. I think she sees you die, but she doesn't remember anything happening after your death. So even though she doesn't see her death, she knows that somehow you cause it…and I…don't really know how to deal with knowing that."

Severus let out a loud sigh, checking his watch and glancing at the door before sitting beside him.

"Yes, I knew I was correct about that, Aurelius. There has been some sort of connection between Ciardoth and myself from the beginning. I've always known it was mine and mine alone to deal with, although I have no more idea on how to go about it at this point than anyone else does," he admitted.

"But I've heard Professor Ravenclaw say more than once that memories were different than visions and that they can't change. What if he's right? What if the only way to get rid of her…" Aurelius immediately stopped when Descartes began to caw out happily, and a moment later the two of them saw Jennifer on the stairs, leaning over to peer down at them.

"You two are up early. Trying to get it done before we get invaded again?"

"As a matter of fact," Severus agreed with her as he got back to work and Aurelius went to check on the cauldrons again.

"Need another pair of hands?"

"Well, I for one could use some of your expertise in coffee making," Severus said.

"Oh, I see how it is," Jennifer chuckled, heading back up the stairs. "Very well, although I highly suspect you're merely attempting to get me out of your lab." Severus grimaced when she closed the door, all too conscious about how close to the truth that was. His eyes shifted to Aurelius then, who was looking at him carefully.

"Aurelius, I would appreciate it if…"

"I Pacted it a long time ago, Father," he said, and Severus hesitated, nodding.

"Thank you. I would prefer to tell your mother about this in my own way rather than her blundering into it at an inappropriate moment. In any case, I wouldn't worry about that particular memory of Ciardoth's yet. It may be that what she perceived was something different than what she thought," Severus said, but Aurelius looked at him dubiously. "And I for one would like to think that I have some control over my destiny. We have choices, Aurelius, our own choices, just as you have chosen to be an Auror…something that no coward would choose to do, might I add. And we have a choice on whether to let Ciardoth's actions intimidate us or not. Before the four of you leave, we are all going to sit down and make some extra contingency plans so that we are not taken by surprise by her again, nor will anyone who we are with, for that matter." Aurelius sighed silently and nodded in acceptance, but still couldn't help but dread the two weeks ahead.

Of course, he was not the only one.

Jennifer got up that morning reluctant to get dressed, taking such an unusually long time that Severus came in to find her standing at the mirror while attempting to work the latch on her charm bracelet. Five circular charms containing a ruby, emerald, two moonstones of differing sizes, and a diamond were set in gold, dangling from a golden bracelet.

"You haven't worn that in a while," Severus commented thoughtfully. He had given it to her after Alex was born; the others were added later on, each one charmed to flash if any of them were in danger.

"I didn't dare to after you had been inflicted with the Gringotts' Curse," Jennifer reminded him, allowing him to help her with the clasp. "Besides, it's easier than looking at my watch all the time, as I'm sure I'll be tempted to do if I don't wear it."

"I have gone over a dozen different escape routes with them, Jennifer. Even so, you know as well as I do that Ciardoth seldom uses the same method twice," Severus said, handing her tie to her.

"Just like lightning. How appropriate," Jennifer said distractedly, putting it on.

"Actually, I believe it's to keep events straight in her own mind. Since Ciardoth sees in all times at once, similar events in different times would be dangerous for her because she may mistake the wrong one," he explained. Jennifer nodded thoughtfully.

"Do you suppose she'll try to get the Aegis from Aurelius again?" Jennifer said.

"That depends on whether she remembers acquiring it or not," Severus said. Jennifer frowned at him. "Come on. Alex made you breakfast this year, and it's sure to be getting cold. By the way, how would you like to stop by Tassels and Panning on the way to the school and have your ears pierced for your birthday?"

"Severus Snape, if I wanted my ears pierced, I would have done it long ago!" Jennifer said with exasperation as she opened the door. "What's the matter, tired of necklaces, rings and bracelets?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, and there isn't much selection in those silly clamp ones…"

"I'll tell you what's silly, Severus, you are," Jennifer chuckled. "Can't you come up with something more meaningful as a present?"

"Didn't I buy you a camera one year?" Severus said, the four at the table grinning privately at each other when the two of them came in. They'd all heard this argument before.

"Yes, and every time I pick it up you suddenly disappear," Jennifer frowned at him.

"I bought it so you could take photos of them, not me," Severus reminded her. "And you're changing the subject. Would you like to head to Minerva's for a new gown?"

"What I really want is for you to stop fussing and come have breakfast," Jennifer said grumpily. "Severus, how about letting me take one photo of you in the lab and we'll call it even?"

"No," Severus said. "Nice scones, Alex. Not burnt this time."

"A little doughy in the middle," Aurelius said, inspecting his.

"Next time you can cook then," Alex glowered at him.

"What's one photo going to hurt?" Jennifer said.

"You already have two frog cards of me and that old sketch of Pyther's. I dare think that's enough," Severus said.

"I can do one of him for you, Mum," Alicia volunteered.

"I'm not sitting for a painting either," Severus glowered.

"You know, Mum, I was thinking about getting my ears pierced too. We could go together," Alex volunteered.

"Can I go too?" Alicia asked.

"No," Severus and Jennifer told Alicia.

"Well, how about a belly button ring?" Alicia compromised.

"See what you've started?" Jennifer said accusingly to her husband. Andrew began to chuckle and everyone stopped arguing and looked at him. "And just what is so funny?"

"Nothing," Andrew said, nibbling on his scone. "It's just nice seeing everyone acting normal again."

"Acting maybe," Aurelius said, putting down his scone. "Nothing's really going to be the same again."

"I'm sure it feels that way," Jennifer said with a sigh, "and in some ways you're right, Aurelius, but so is Andrew. Life does go on, and we still have each other to argue with and fight over spare rooms about, and criticize everything from cooking to teaching," she joked, earning a dirty look from Severus. "As long as we have each other for support we can get through anything…although I must admit I'm looking forward to getting back to Hogwarts, because oddly enough in some ways I feel closer to the four of you there sometimes than I do when we're here. And I'm sure all of you are anxious to see your friends again, but please be careful the next couple of weeks and mind Harry and Ginny."

"Don't forget everything I've gone over with you," Severus added with a nod. "Have your cloaks within arms reach at all times, and rings on at all times as well, even when you're sleeping." The four of them nodded solemnly, twisting their rings conscientiously, but none of them complained about wearing them anymore.