Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, but the situations, I think I do. I'm just playing 'what if…' games.

A/N: This is a story devoted to a very special person, he's my Scott and I love him dearly. Hope you all like it anyway. Set in Evo – but about ten years later.

Oh and here:

'thoughts' telepathy or mind speech "normal speech"

Sighing heavily, she surveyed the landscape. Rocky, rough, blisteringly hot, yet inside she felt bitterly cold. Paradise, ruined bya simplemistake, a choice that shouldn't have had to be made. It all added up eventually, but she didn't want it to. Never had she wished for something as much as she wished she could turn back the clock. The sun scorned at her as it slid behind thick black clouds that roared with malicious laughter. Freeze, be alone in your misery, it's all your fault, you didn't warn any of them, didn't tell him, never stopped him…

A tear slid down her cheek, followed by another, and another. Not able to stop them, nor caring anymore, she hugged herself in a vain attempt to warm herself and feel less alone. Another roar sounded above her head, before the rain came tumbling down, trying to hide the pain that she felt in its cooling blanket of moisture. Tilting her face to the sky, she closed her eyes and let her tears fall more freely, her body shaking with the pain she felt inside, and sobs escaping her lips as her thoughts stumbled against each other.

'Why…' her mind cried out to whoever could hear her, and any who cared to listen, if they could hear her thoughts. 'why me… why us…'

Falling to her knees, her breaths were laboured and painful, each one feeling like another dagger in her already wounded heart. Her hands were pressed against the hard and gritty floor, her head bowed downwards, and her eyes blinded by scalding tears. Her heart was broken and bleeding, her mind wanted her to forget, her emotions wouldn't let her. Aching all over, she coughed and choked, trying to breathe and cry at the same time. Breath hitching and tears streaming there was little she could do, unable to concentrate on any one thing for more than a milli-second.

Jean?

A thought, a telepathic cry burst through all the rubble in her mind. I love you

Her tears stopped momentarily and her pain was forgotten. Scott…

Jean, please… live…

No Scott, I won't let it happen again!

She stood up and her eyes flashed red, before returning to their usual green and filling again with tears, as the rest of the words flooded into her mind.

… live, my love, my soul mate… knowing you'll survive, and the love they'll all give you, and our son… that's why I can do this… I love you forever Jean… Goodbye…

His last words, in life. Jean heard them clearly for the first time since his death. Agony had consumed her, made her unable to hear, and he had waited, his words that strong that they survived over a week after he had gone. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Jean Summers stood up and faced the storm.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE THAT YOU LEFT ME HERE! I HATE YOU LEFT ME WHEN I STILL HAD THINGS TO TELL YOU! I HATE, I hate… I hate that I love you so much… I hate that I can't be with you… But I love you beyond words Scott. I love you so much, and for that I'll do what you ask me. Asked." A dry sob broke through her lips. "I'll live."

Her best friend in the world was gone, but another of her friends floated down after hours of searching and banished the rain with a thought. Ororo heard Jean's last words and smiled sadly. Scott's… leaving, his sacrifice would not be unnoticed. She touched her friends arm with her one free hand. Jean turned and Ororo was pleased and surprised to see a calm acceptance now in her eyes.

"Jean, Charles located you and I brought-"

She stopped as Jean lovingly took the bundle of flesh from her friends arms and held her little boy close to her. Rocking him gently and gazing into his eyes, she smiled as another tear fell down her cheek, but this one was of happiness.

"Hush little baby… Nathan, don't you cry… Mummy's never gonna go away and die…."

Ororo was shocked at Jean's words, but sensed a promise in them. She shed a single tear at the sight of mother and son, reunited and together amidst their pain. Smiling at the woman she had seen grow from a girl, she touched her arm again.

"Come Jean, we must return, the others are frantic. Especially Logan."

Jean laughed for the first time in days and nodded. "Ororo, would you-"

Her friend and once teacher smiled. "No need to even ask Jean. Of course, just steady yourself and Nathan."

Jean agreed silently and looked at her son, their son, hers and Scott's. He was beautiful and she would bring him up to be like Scott. He has his daddy's bone structure, thankfully, she thought. Scott had lived to see a few precious moments of his life; he had seen him crawl, he had seen him smile, he had heard him laugh. He had been at his birth, he had fed him for the first time, and held him in his arms as he first went to sleep. He had named him with her. Nathan Christopher Charles Summers. A smile crossed her lips and she sighed lightly. If he was anything like Scott, Nathan would be the luckiest and most wonderful man/boy she had ever had the privilege of knowing, bar his father.

As the two female figures came into view, Logan sighed with relief. He gazed at them coming ever closer and folded his arms sternly. "I thought she was gone for good Chuck."

Charles shook his head, still overcome with grief himself after Scotts'… untimely demise. He looked dolefully up at Logan. "She isn't gone Logan, but she is torn. Scott is, was, her soul mate. Without him, I cannot even imagine how she wishes to function. I know if I lost my own, if I ever found her, I would wish to die."

Logan looked at the mentor of the X-Men in surprise. He hadn't thought about it that way, he'd been too worried about Jean and where she was to consider what she was going through. Added to that he wasn't allowing himself chance to mourn for the young man's death he blamed on himself.

"Logan, go and rest, please. Jean will most likely tell us if she needs or wants us near by."

Thinking for a moment, he grudgingly admitted it. "Yer right. But I just wanna be there for her. She's my Jeannie, always has been."

"No Logan…" Charles said as Logan turned from the doorway. "She was and is always Scott's Jean. Not ours. He had her heart and part of her soul, as she had his."

Logan's eyes welled with emotion as he fought Xavier's words. He turned away and stalked to his room, finally feeling what he had locked away from the instant of Scott Summers' choice. Trust Charles to find the only words that could break a Wolverine's shields, locks and protective shells.

Charles himself was now lost for his precious words. He used them in every instance, to save, to encourage, to soothe, to argue, to force reconsideration. And for all his words and his power, he had sent his first student, his son into the jaws of hell, from where he hadn't returned.

His tears had long since been spent. All he had left was his blame, his compassion for the others, his love for his other students and the knowledge he was not alone in missing, regretting, crying over and mourning the death of Cyclops.

Kurt Wagner held onto Kitty's hand as they heard the cries of a wounded man come from Logan's room. She squeezed back as they wished it would all end, all the pain, all the suffering, all the fighting. Kitty was in silent mourning, her and Kurt had barely left each other's side since it had happened. She couldn't bear to think of that happening when she wasn't there, either to stop it, or spend their last moments together. Kurt had given her solace by holding her as she cried and he himself wept Their pain hadn't been lessened by sharing it, but it had given them hope, reason to let the pain leave them. Reason to carry on.

Ororo held Jean's hand as they landed and released it as the red head turned back to the sky.

"Jean?"

"I'll be there in a moment Ororo."

Shrugging not quite understanding the young woman before her, Ororo left her to her silent meditation and sought Charles to discover if he was all right. Jean took a deep breath and released it. Her eyes shone with mixed sadness and happiness.

"Scott? If you can hear me, I want you to know. I love you, and I would never change the things we did, how we lived, how long it took us…" She laughed remembering how they had acted in the beginning. "But beyond that, I would never change how I loved you, and how you loved me. I'd change that day, I'd make it so you never had to give yourself to that anomaly, the cursed thing that took you away from us."

Nathan cooed up at her and tugged on a piece of her loose hair. Smiling down at him, Jean continued. "Watch over us, my darling. And when we eventually join you, you can tell us all about everything, and we can tell you about how we lived, how we all survived, all three of us, for you. For your memory. For your love."

Sighing deeply, she blew a kiss to the heavens and cast her eyes around at the endless sky. Nathan fell silent, then wriggled as a soft warm breeze rose around them. "Dada!"

Jean looked down at her son, her eyes widening. Nathan giggled and dribbled. "Dada!"

Hugging him tightly, she turned back to the mansion, her hand touching his face lightly, then she dropped her fingertips to touch stomach that was beginning to bulge. "Yes Nathan, Dada."

Not a million miles away someone was stirring from a fitful slumber. He turned his head and groaned in his sleep, having a nightmare. Vivid images of pain, loneliness and flames flashed in front of his eyes. Tears streamed from all their eyes, but he couldn't shed a one. They all disappeared as the fire claimed his body. His limbs felt like lead and his eyes couldn't close to stop the sight of them all going away. His throat was clogged with soot from the fire, and he couldn't breathe. Choking her saw her face shining more than the others. He coughed and reached a hand forward to her. Her face was streaked with tears and her mouth was moving, but he couldn't hear the words. Her hand stretched for his, but they couldn't reach and the flames rose again, causing her to scream, and clutch at her stomach. Waking in a panic, he sat up and yelled at the top of his voice.

"JEAN!"

That's the first part. The ending will be explained in the next chapter, I promise. Don't worry Jott fans, all will be revealed. Hope you will read on.

Please REVIEW!C'MON, you know you want tooooo...

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