Title: Haven't Changed A Bit

Author: mistymidnight

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Spoilers/Timeline: Around the time of season seven's "Selfless".

Summary: Anya all the way!

Author's Notes: I was in the mood to update, and I wanted to do something happy. Not that "Fully Qualified" isn't happy, I'm just in the middle of a plot, heaven forbid. I felt like doing something more plotless. Somewhat. I'm sure this will make some people happy, other angry, and most indifferent. And women vote indirect. (Sorry. Too much of the "Our Town" rehearsals. Anyone who's seen or been in the play probably knows to which scene the previous sentences refer to. You know, Editor Webb's monologue? Right after Professor Willard's? First act? Oh, you people are hopeless.)

I apologize for any spelling/grammar/capitalization mistakes in this chapter. (And the whole fic, actually.)

A Bunny is the Source of All Evil

"I want to see the gerbils!" Anya squeaked. "Gerbils breed easily. I can make a lot of money with gerbils."

Xander said without thinking, "Rabbits breed more--"

"Nooo-ooo!" Anya shrieked. A woman with gray hair gave Xander a look. "Please try to control your daughter."

"She's not my daughter," Xander answered back, again without thinking. "She's my ex girlfriend...uh, my ex girlfriend's sister."

The woman sniffed and walked away.

"Do you like money?" Anya called after her, only to be ignored. Xander decided it was best to take action before Anya began to quiz the woman on her sex life. "An," he said quickly, "hamsters breed well, too, don't they?"

"Yes," Anya beamed. She loved this conversation. It was her two favorite subjects--money and sex--rolled into one handy moment. "Hamsters are good. But gerbils are better."

"Why's that?"
Anya's expression darkened. "They just are," she said at last, and yanked Xander in the direction of the pet store.

"I cannot believe you'd keep those...those...those things in here!" Anya screeched at the woman behind the counter. "I'm going to take my money elsewhere!"

"They're just rabbits, sweetie. I don't see--"

"They're horrible! Am I the only one they haven't fooled with their hippity-hopping down the bunny trail? They're not cute! They're bad!"

"An, honey," Xander said, trying hard to be calm, cool, and collected, "why don't we go? Like, now." He picked Anya up, trying hard not to get hit in the face by her flailing limbs.

"They'll get you!" Anya shrieked as they left. "They'll get you in your sleep!"

Xander wondered when Anya had first become afraid of rabbits. It had to be something. Gonna ask her that later.

Anya calmed down when they were about halfway across the parking lot. "Put me down," she ordered. "I can walk on my own."

"Okay," Xander agreed reluctantly, placing the six-year-old on the pavement. She smoothed her shirt and began to walk alongside him, swinging her purse. "I didn't spend any money," she said, rather gloomily.

"Well," Xander said, trying to cheer her up, "you could always invest it. Or buy a stock or something."

"Yes! Stocks!" Anya exclaimed. "Thank you!"

Xander frowned. Hope this doesn't come back to haunt me.

mistymidnight