Title: Haven't Changed A Bit
Author: mistymidnight
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Spoilers/Timeline: Around the time of season seven's "Selfless".
Summary: Anya all the way!
Author's Notes: Taking a break from the bazillion other things I should be doing to do the only thing I really feel like doing.
Side note: I've been perusing Fanfiction dot Net for the past couple days while the uploading options have been disabled, and I've come across an amazing amount of BAD FIC. Okay, so maybe not an amazing amount. There were just a couple stories so far that were horrible to the extreme. I'm talking super-bad. I mean, I knew it existed, but I never knew how awful it truly was…
Anyhoo, that's off topic.
Response to reviewers:
Dawn-Roberts: In regards to your question about Our Town: I'm Stage Manager. The kind that delivers monologues, not the kind that runs the backstage crew and stuff. Actually, there's four people playing the role of Stage Manager. Sometimes we say lines individually and sometimes we say them in unison. It's really cool sounding. And relatively freaky. And hey, congrats on being Emily!
Gidgetgirl: Thanks for the compliments. They made me mucho happy!
Regan X: Anya being the youngest self-made millionaire? Wouldn't surprise me in the least.
Freezyboncoolipants: Thanks for the compliment. (I try, I try…LOL.) Hopefully this will be another great update…
Bunnies, Balloons, and…Other Stuff"She didn't buy anything?" Buffy demanded, using her full five feet, three inches to stare Xander down. "Now how are we supposed to occupy her?"
"I think you're misplacing the blame here," Xander said. "In my defense, I tried to get her to buy hamsters."
"I wanted gerbils!" Anya shouted from the other room.
Buffy gave Xander an exasperated look. "Well, there you go. She wanted gerbils."
"It wasn't the hamster/gerbil thing that scared her off," Xander explained. "It was the—" he lowered his voice "—bunnies." He cringed, waiting for the reply from the eavesdropping six-year-old-ex-demon. He didn't have to wait long.
"BUNNIES!!!" Anya wailed. "They're evil! They'll kill us all!"
Buffy glanced toward the other room. "Let's hope no one's done any of those 'will be done' spells lately."
Xander nodded. "Did you ever wonder why she hates—rabbits—so much?"
"I used to," Buffy replied easily, moving toward the sink and turning on the water. "But then," she continued, beginning to wash the dishes, "I figured it all out."
"Really?" Xander was fascinated. In all the years he and Anya had dated, he had never had the slightest idea as to why rabbits struck fear into her ex-demon heart. And here was Buffy, with a theory. "What do you think it is?"
"As far as I'm concerned," she told him, "there's only one reasonable explanation. Have you ever seen that movie—?"
She was cut off by Dawn yelling, "No, Anya, come back! There's no bunnies anywhere! I swear!"
Buffy and Xander exchanged quick glances before heading for the living room. They arrived just in time to watch Dawn tackle Anya to prevent her from going outside.
"What's going on here?" Buffy demanded.
"Anya's convinced herself there's a bun—a B-U-N-N-Y around every corner," Dawn said cautiously.
"She's traumatized," Xander muttered to Buffy.
"Why couldn't she just be scared of the dark like a normal kid?" Buffy sighed. "Or needles or something? I'd settle for needles."
"Because that would be too easy," Dawn put in dryly, dusting herself off and leaning against the front door to block Anya's would-be escape route.
"I seem to recall a six-year-old that was absolutely terrified of balloons," Buffy said pointedly.
"Okay, if you'd had the experiences I'd had with balloons, you'd be terrified of them, too," Dawn said defensively, before adding, "hospital-hater."
Anya's attention was captured. "Why did you hate balloons?" she asked, fascinated.
"Oh—no reason," Dawn said, embarrassed.
"You said had experiences," Anya persisted, not willing to let the topic drop.
Buffy was amused. "Tell her, Dawn."
Dawn sighed, then said in one breath, "Mom-and-Dad-got-me-a-balloon-and-I-named-it-Bluey-and-I-tried-to-kiss-it-goodnight-but-I-hit-it-with-my-teeth-and-it-popped-in-my-face."
Buffy snorted. Xander looked rather surprised. Anya laughed and clapped her hands.
"That's funny," she said.
Willow came downstairs and asked, "What's funny?"
"Dawn's scared of balloons," Anya said, bringing Willow up to speed. "She tried to kiss her balloon goodnight this one time and it popped in her face."
"And scabbed my nose," Dawn added.
"Uh, okay," Willow said.
"What's up, Will?" Buffy asked. "Got a counter-spell for Anya?"
"I don't wanna be countered!" Anya wailed for no reason. But, hey, she was six. It was her prerogative.
Buffy and Willow ignored her. Willow continued, "I think I might have a name in connection to it, though. You said she wished for this?"
"Sort of," Buffy said. "She wished to be 'the way she was before' or something like that."
"So whoever granted her wish really skewered it."
"I'll say."
"So, I've been researching vengeance demons," Willow said.
"Well, you can rule two off right off the bat," Dawn said. "Halfrek and Anya herself."
"Hallie?" Anya asked. "Who's Hallie?"
Dawn sighed. "At least she doesn't remember Hallie right now," she remarked. "I'm not so good at dealing with six-year-old tragedies."
Anya shrugged and went back to the living room couch to search for change in the cushions.
Willow went on with her explanation. "I found a few likely culprits. This one—" she pointed to a picture in the book she held in her hand "—specializes in spells for those that feel they've had something wrongly taken from them."
"Isn't that what all vengeance demons do, when it all comes down to it?"
Willow frowned. "I guess."
"How about rivals?" Buffy asked. "Someone who grants vengeance to men that have been wronged, maybe?"
"That's so clichéd, it just might work."
"Really?"
"I guess. I'll keep it in mind, anyway."
Buffy thought for a second. "Okay, research wronged men—no, wait. A demon that specializes in wronged men wouldn't be able to grant Anya's wish. I mean, she's, well, female." Both Willow and Buffy glanced at Xander.
"She's female," he confirmed. "And I'm getting disturbing thoughts."
"Okay," Buffy said, "then let's look at demons that just grant vengeance wishes in general. Any demon that Anya's had any kind of disagreement with—ever—is a suspect."
"Got it," Willow said, nodding.
"In the meantime," Buffy said, "someone needs to baby sit Anya. And we need to find her a place to sleep."
"Yeah," Dawn put in. "I am so not sharing my room with her again."
"I am not sleeping here alone!" Anya screamed. "Rabbits!"
Buffy sighed. "We'll work something out. I hope."
Yay! I updated! I should get a plaque of some kind.
The balloon-popping thing actually happened to me when I was three or so. Honestly.
Ooh! Side note! I can make my page dividors pretty colors now! (The one above should be a rosy pink color.) Coolness!
mistymidnight