Chapter Eighteen

Symptoms

The students who went to Hogsmeade that day returned to a very somber school indeed. Hermione, who had taken over for Severus when he and Jennifer bolted back to see what was amiss, anxiously got caught up with what had happened and hurried to the Headmaster's Study only to find the door closed and password changed. Frowning at it unsurely, Hermione went to her own office to let Ron know she was going to stay the night.

Andrew and Alicia, who had both returned in a cheerful mood suddenly found themselves crushed, knowing how they would feel if they had lost their own familiar. The fact that the Professors were all quiet and visibly restless made the matter all the worse, for they were all very worried about the Headmaster. But Aurelius and Alex's hearts were especially heavy, for they were very worried about Ciardoth's claim that she would at some time defeat the Headmaster himself. How many would have to die to see her gone forever? Aurelius soon returned to his room but was too disturbed still to make any attempt to do his homework, his thoughts now turning to his father's own position. It was not one Aurelius would have wanted to be in…knowing that his fate might end with her. Stock, who had gone up early to work on mine business, immediately asked Aurelius to recount what happened, and reluctantly Aurelius did so.

"I can't believe she did that to poor Fawkes! What was it that she was after?" Stock asked from his desk as he went over some numbers.

"I don't know. It almost seemed to me like she was doing it just because she could, and yet she seemed drawn by something. And angry. I just know at the time it was all going on, I was more worried about Tonks than I was about anything else…although at the same time…I almost wanted something to happen," Aurelius murmured.

"Something like what?" Stock said curiously, looking up from his work. But Aurelius shook his head quickly.

"Nothing. Never mind," Aurelius said, lost in his own thoughts a moment as he slipped into bed, staring up at the ceiling. "You know, there was something else she said that struck me strange," he admitted after listening to the scratching of Stock's quill for some time. "When she killed Fawkes, she said the cycle of life was broken. I don't think she was just talking about the Phoenix in that moment."

"Do you think she's behind the strange weather?" Stock said when he paused to let his charmed abacus at his side check his numbers.

"That much at least I'm quite sure of," Aurelius said. "But what I'm not sure of is if it's the goal, or if it's the symptom of something else."

Jennifer was finishing marking the last of her papers and checking through the lessons that Sunday night in Severus' sitting room when she saw the pen of the appointment book on his desk rise and then heard the sound of scratching. Curiously she got up to see it scratch in "see Anna as soon as she arrives" and frowned, walking back over to the couch thoughtfully. It wasn't long after that when Severus walked in, looking incredibly tired. He paused when he saw Jennifer sitting there, quietly closing the door behind himself.

"I swear you use my sitting room even more than I do," Severus said.

"I wanted to be here when you got done talking to Tonks," Jennifer said. "I didn't think it was going to be this long, to be honest."

"Yes, well, as it turned out, we didn't speak much of the incident with Ciardoth, although I still believe I am at least partially responsible for what happened. After all, it was my plan that put Tonks in such danger, and with Ciardoth remembering my death as she has, it was foolish of me to do so. It might have been Tonks' death she had seen."

"You can't blame yourself for that. Tonks was the one who suggested the ruse originally, and the plan did exactly what you both intended it to do; it put her off balance and diverted her attention away from the children."

"And in the process brought about the death of one of the rarest creatures on the planet, not to mention Dumbledore's greatest companion," he said gloomily. Jennifer sighed, knowing any sort of rebuttal would make him argue the claim all the more. "Not that we have time to dwell on it, for there is something else has come up that you need to know about. Tonks and I have been keeping correspondence with Thurspire lately, who is convinced that Sirius is the one who was involved in the Comet Strike attack in town."

"What? Oh honestly…"

"This time he may actually have a point," Severus admitted, Jennifer watching him carefully as he sat down. "Since Halloween I've suspected that what we experienced that night was a symptom of something bigger, and frankly, I'm not surprised. It's been twenty-five years since he left Azkaban, but parts of him are still in prison while on the surface, his shadow attempts to lead a normal life."

"But that's all he's ever wanted, Severus, ever since Pettigrew died; to lead a normal life…after all, he has a family now, children, his career back, his home back…he hasn't done all that badly…"

"He is merely going through the motions, Jennifer, hoping that by doing them he'll finally feel them with the depth that others do; but he's never going to really accomplish that through burying what happened, as painful as opening up is likely to be to he and his family. Right now, his situation has done nothing but made him vulnerable against Ciardoth's attacks…invading nightmares he will not acknowledge consciously to anyone, including my sister. I have very little doubt at this point that he is one of Ciardoth's recent victims," he said in a low voice. Jennifer nodded slowly, but didn't say anything. "Thurspire has promised me that he will not act or even attempt to question him in any way for a week to give me time to speak with Anna about it, and Sirius himself. To be perfectly frank, I believe Thurspire is more than a bit intimidated by what might happen if he and the Ministry did try to arrest him, or even ask him to be evaluated for manipulation curses."

"Intimidated, nothing, Thurspire's scared to death of him," Jennifer snorted.

"Yes, which is how I gained so much leverage in this," Severus admitted. "First thing that needs to happen, however, is for Anna to understand how grave things are, and that is something I prefer to do alone…but I may need your presence when it comes to us trying to get through to Sirius." Jennifer quickly agreed, then excused herself to see to Ratfly's needs, giving her aging bat all the attention he deserved and often didn't get, while her mind thought over the task ahead.

Severus was at his desk working on his Divination proposal when Anna arrived the next morning, slightly hesitant to walk in despite the fact the door was open. When she did rap her knuckles against it, he merely gestured, not looking up at first when she came in. Descartes greeted her loudly, but settled down after a single word from Severus.

"Well, he's getting better," Anna commented. "Rasputin looks rather gorged, though."

"He may have had a mouse too many this morning," Severus admitted. "How was your weekend?"

"Same as always," Anna said briskly. "So how's Rose doing?"

"Holding up many times better than Corey," Severus said expressionlessly and looked up, Anna snorting softly in response. "Now, how about you tell me the truth about how your weekend was?" Anna frowned and stared straight at him, but Severus simply met her gaze. "That's not going to work, you know, I am another Snape, after all," added calmly once it had gone on for awhile. "I suppose you believe I have no idea what things have been like lately…how Sirius is wearing his cheerful mask in private nearly as much as he does in public now…or how often you wake in the middle of the night to find that Sirius has wandered downstairs and has fallen asleep in dog form in a closet or a shadowed corner."

"You've been talking to Albus, haven't you?" Anna said with the same blank look on her face, vaguely aware that the door had closed behind her.

"I have two other sources, actually, but as their teacher I'm afraid I can't disclose their names," Severus said almost casually, folding his hands together. "However, while we're on the subject, I would like to remind you that you are not the only one affected by his behavior."

"I'm well aware of that," Anna snapped and then sighed, turning to face the fire a moment before kneeling to pet the gorged basilisk napping in front of it. "This is not the first time he's been restless at night, Severus. It's come up from time to time over the years, it lasts a few weeks and then it's all but forgotten until the next bout. It shouldn't be all that unsurprising with everything he's been through."

"No, not particularly surprising, and something that has stood between the two of you from the beginning, as well as your own trauma."

"My own trauma?" Anna said.

"Yes, the one you encountered when you realized your life was more than you had planned it to be, and not only did that seem to make your job studying criminals seem small in comparison, but forced you to realize that even with all your accumulated powers you couldn't stop such crimes from happening," Severus said.

"You know, brother, there are times when I really don't like you very much," Anna said after a moment of silence.

"It is the truth you don't like, Anna, it has very little to do with me other than the fact that I'm not afraid to say it," Severus said quietly. "But let's get back to the problem at hand, shall we? I do not think it's exaggerating to guess that this is the worst Sirius has been since the two of you married. Am I correct?"

Anna sighed again and nodded.

"Since just before the school year started, he's gotten more and more restless at night. Paces more. Wakes up with a jolt only to not want to go back to bed again. You know…when I first took this job back, I so wanted to do this. I was so determined to turn this course around since its digression over the last few years. I even entertained the idea of staying on for a few more years to make sure my changes to the course got implemented. I really feel strongly about that, Severus, and yet…after what happened at Halloween, I feel guilty about coming to work even when he's insistent about going to do his own, despite his lack of sleep. To be honest, I don't know when the last time he had a full night's sleep even was. And then…" Anna paused a moment, patting Rasputin one last time before reluctantly taking a chair.

"A couple of nights ago, I noticed him gone and I got up, expecting to find him napping somewhere again. But instead he was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of water in front of him, dipping his fingers in it and watching it drip off of them. Then he looked up at me…but there was a strange look in his eyes…as if he didn't actually recognize me at all but knew someone was standing there. He gave be a rather strange smile then and said, 'do you know, it's amazing how many people take something as simple as clean water for granted,' and then he didn't speak again for hours, merely playing with his glass…trapped in some old memory I can't get to. Damn it, Severus, I've got a degree in psychology, why can't I reach him?" Anna said with grief and frustration.

"I need not tell you, Anna, that a person can't be helped if they don't want to be helped…"

"But he wants help, Severus! Maybe not consciously, but unconsciously the signs are there…"

"Perhaps the problem, Anna, is that he doesn't want help from you," Severus interrupted. Anna stared at him. "Most likely, because he doesn't want you to get hurt from whatever is going on in that impossibly thick skull of his."

"You are the one that told us we needed to open up to each other…"

"Yes, which evidently neither of you did, which hasn't helped what's been going on," Severus said. "Anna, tell me honestly, his nightmares have been getting worse and more frequently visual since Halloween, haven't they?" Anna nodded slowly.

"I don't know how that happens, or why, exactly, but it does."

"As it so happens, I do know why," Severus said quietly. "It is a symptom proving that something foreign has entered his mind. Sirius has spent twenty-five years protecting his darker thoughts… first from Dementors, then from all of us…doing everything in his power to put walls up or push away or fight anyone who attempts to break through his pseudo-life. If something came in from inside that barrier, he would have no choice, if he wanted to protect those memories, to force them outside of that barrier to protect them. In essence, whatever it was that invaded his space was so powerful that his subconscious mind felt its only choice was to push his darker thoughts out into his conscious and manifest them…probably through his own magical talents."

"Ciardoth is doing this to him," Anna said, feeling a rush of anger.

"In part, yes," Severus agreed, Anna's eyes darting over at him again. "But Sirius is partially to blame as well for letting his past control his life to the extent that it does."

"And just what am I supposed to do about it?" Anna said. "I would drag her out if I could get past his walls, but I can't, he doesn't want me in there!"

"No, no he doesn't," Severus agreed as Anna began beating her head against the back of the chair. Finally she stopped and shook her head.

"I guess you were right all along, Severus. This whole marriage was a mistake," Anna said, Severus turning thoughtful. "He doesn't want me in his life. Hell, I don't think I believe any of that stupid cosmic destiny crap any more. The idea that either of us were meant for the other seems so ludicrous now."

"Good, I'm glad you've come to your senses then," Severus said evenly. "It's about time you've stopped loving him. Found someone else yet?"

"That's not funny, Severus," Anna said icily.

"Well, it's your decision, not mine, after all. Do you want me to tell the children for you?"

"What I want is for you to stop mocking me! Just because everything's always so peachy between you and Jennifer all the time doesn't mean you have the right to criticize… why are you laughing at me?" Anna glared when she caught Severus sniggering.

"Because I find that statement particularly funny," Severus said wryly. "Trust me, Anna, it has hardly been the glowing symbol of perfection that you make it out to be, considering how many times we end up fighting, not speaking to each other for weeks on end. She's tried to leave me… oh, three or four times, and I've tried at least twice, not to mention several rather disagreeable public bouts that only served to get our names in the gossip column again. I find that being so-called 'fated' with a person is no guarantee to happiness. In fact, it seems to make it quite a bit easier to be miserable with each other. You want something better than what you have now, you are going to have to work on it harder than this."

"I have been working on it!" Anna snapped.

"Have you? When was the last time you've opened up to him about some old wound that's been pestering you?" Severus challenged her.

"When have you?" Anna retorted.

"Just over a month ago, actually, when your husband had us relive one of the many scoldings we received from Amanda Elwood," Severus said evenly. "I hope he at least paid the same courtesy to you after that display." Anna got up then, walking over to the other side of the room. "So he didn't, I see."

"I spoke to Albus about it," Anna murmured. "Sirius just said he wanted to go home. He didn't say a word all night. I've tried everything, Severus, I have. But I just don't know what to do any more." Severus looked thoughtful for a moment, then his eyes shifted down to his appointment book.

"I suggest you start with inviting Jennifer out to dinner tonight," Severus recommended. "A long one," he added. "In the meantime, I think I will pay Sirius a visit."

"He wouldn't like that," Anna chuckled.

"All the better," Severus said with a nod as the book added the entry.

"Besides, don't you have a proposal to write?"

"Never mind that. Now go teach your students how to keep their fingers out of light sockets or whatever it is you do so that I can prepare for my own classes," Severus said.

"Gee thanks," Anna said only slightly sarcastic before she left the room.

It was only a moment after the owl delivered Anna's message that Sirius turned towards the liquor cabinet, but he hadn't even finished making his drink when there was a knock at the door. Leaning to see past the gauzy drapes on the living room window, Sirius groaned when he saw who it was. Downing the glass he set it smartly down on an end table and reluctantly went over to the door, popping it open and staring warily at Severus Snape.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius said with open annoyance.

"I thought with the girls out we might have a little talk," Severus said evenly.

"Even if I wanted company, which I don't, I wouldn't be asking you," Sirius said briskly, slamming the door in his face then stomping back to the cabinet. Severus, however, opened the door and came in anyway, then stood in the living room doorway watching him calmly. "Drink?" Sirius offered irritably, unsurprised to see that Severus was still standing there.

"If you have something palatable, perhaps," Severus mused, glancing skeptically at both Sirius' chosen brew and the cabinet. "So this is why they call it the hair of the dog."

"Don't start, I'm not in the mood," Sirius growled at him. "Did Anna send you here?"

"No, why, does she have some reason to?" Severus asked as he went over to inspect the contents of the cabinet. But Sirius didn't answer. Instead he turned to brood over his drink as if ignoring Severus altogether. "How did she react when you told her about what happened to Amanda?"

"I didn't. And I'd rather you not bring it up, either, and if that's why you came, you might as well leave," Sirius said.

"Actually, I came to ask your advice on a case I've been helping the Ministry with. You heard, I suppose, about the warehouse being destroyed?" Severus asked, squinting at some of the labels.

"Why the devil would I care about that? I don't deal with Longbottom. I wouldn't have dealt with Malfoy either if you hadn't felt you needed someone to keep an eye on him…"

"Yes, I know, I feel the same way about him, but two Ministry officers were killed in the attack as well. Thurspire believes Ciardoth had something to do with it, that's how I became involved."

"I thought you of all people had more sense than that," Sirius said. "Especially after everything he has done to make both are lives a living hell!"

"I have hardly forgotten," Severus said evenly. "I admit, however, I became increasingly interested when I realized that the spell that had been cast appeared to be Comet Strike."

"Ciardoth doesn't cast conventional spells, as you well know being the expert' on the subject. She doesn't need them and she doesn't understand them. If someone cast that spell, it was probably just a vindictive attack on Longbottom himself," Sirius said.

"Perhaps," Severus nodded. "Or perhaps she used someone else to do it for her so that no one would realize it was her. There were several items missing from that warehouse that should have been there, Sirius, many of which could have been destroyed from the blast, but not, I think, all of them. I need not tell you that Malfoy had collected quite a variety of very powerful artifacts over the years…items that might appeal to someone bent on destruction. And until her involvement is ruled out without the slightest shadow of a doubt, I have no choice but pursue it."

"Suit yourself, although I think it would make more sense to spend less time worrying about what she's up to and more time finding a way to destroy her before she does anything else!" Sirius said.

"Since Ciardoth's goal is destroy herself as well as us, her actions will most likely reveal what it will take to get rid of her once and for all," Severus reasoned. Sirius shook his head, pouring himself another drink. "Besides, I am also concerned about who it is she might have manipulated to do something like this. There aren't all that many of us that can cast that spell, so it shouldn't be too hard to narrow down. In the school, I know of only five people who know it, and one of those is a student who despite his talents I don't think could have controlled it. Tell me, Sirius, besides yourself, who else do you know who can cast it?" Sirius stared at him for a long time.

"It's none of your damn business," he said at last. "A spell is a spell, and I'll be damned if I will help you try to convict one of my friends just because you're playing Inquisitor!"

"Whoever cast that spell is in grave danger," Severus said firmly. "Ciardoth may be manipulating them without them even knowing it… she will take any advantage she can to suit her purpose and cares not what havoc it may cause. I wouldn't even allow someone I didn't like to go through that." Sirius immediately looked up as if he had been slapped, his glassy eyes suddenly becoming clear with intense anger.

"You think it was me, don't you? You think I was the one who killed those men? Haven't you learned anything after all of these years?"

"Yes, I have," Severus said calmly. "But you have not. Tell me truthfully, Sirius. Did you or did you not have a dream before Halloween about that fight with Pettigrew all those years ago?"

Sirius launched himself at Severus, but although Severus went down easily, he was not taken completely by surprise. In fact, as they rolled over Sirius suddenly found disoriented and realized he wasn't at home anymore. Even though the walls of the entrance were now clean and whitewashed, Sirius recognized where he was and let out a horrified wail as several other guards suddenly pounced.

"You're dead, Severus! Dead! I'll kill you with my own bear hands!" Sirius screamed when Severus finally was able to break away so the guards could cuff him.

"I can think of worse ways," Severus shrugged, glancing over some of his bruises.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Adam Hinge said to Thatcher Boltin, standing nearby with an unusually pale face and serious expression. "We're breaking every damn rule in the book and you know it!"

"Never mind that, I'll take the blame myself," shouted Thurspire above the howling, a worried look on his face. "This had better work."

"Take him to the fourth quarter," Severus snapped.

"What? I'm not going to…"

"Do as he says!" Boltin said with such unmistakable authority that Hinge immediately forgot his protest and nodded to the rest of the guards to carry him off, Severus and Thurspire close behind.

Several times Sirius attempted to change form, but the guards had plenty of experience with Animagi and not one grip was lost. Hinge barked at him constantly, threatening to sedate him or petrify him and several other methods he usually used to subdue prisoners. But this time he did none of them, despite the fact that the guards were more than worse for wear when they finally arrived at the dreadful fourth quarter…the area of Azkaban left unrestored as a reminder to the prison not to fall back upon those dark times. But to Sirius Black, it was even a more painful reminder of the thirteen years he himself had been tormented there. His wails turned into pleading and sobbing as they threw him in one of the cells. Despite its own recent cleaning, no amount of bleach could wash away the rough walls filled with deep gashes from years of insane prisoners clawing at them in some desperate attempt to be free of their cells.

"Leave us please," Severus said, The guards looking over at Boltin, who nodded. Ederick whispered something in Severus' ear then that he quickly answered. With one last look at the crumpled figure in the cell, Thurspire grimly turned to join Boltin as he ushered his guards out of the room. "Now, shall we try this again?" Severus dragged over a stool from on old guard station by the door, not even bothering to dust it off as he sat in front of the door. But immediately Sirius turned into a dog and curled up in the corner with his back to the door. Severus shook his head. "Well, I see this is going to take a while. Take your time, then, I'm not going anywhere any more than you are. In fact, perhaps I ought to write a note to Jennifer and Anna saying as much."

Severus heard a low growl but didn't look up, digging in his Chest cloak and bringing out several books, note paper, quills and other things and setting them on a quickly transfigured desk.

"Strange that someone like Pettigrew could know, let alone control such a spell as Comet Strike, but he did just as assuredly cast it to murder those people as you did attempting to stop him. I suspect James had something to do with it…knowing just how cocky he was, he probably heard the story of Grindelwald and set out to prove it was no big deal. And how better to prove it than to teach it to all of you? I suspect then Lupin knows it as well. Perhaps I should send him and his family an Owl too."

Immediately that got a reaction, for the dog suddenly turned around as if leaping for the bars and Sirius was there, shaking with more than just his fury.

"Lupin had nothing to do with anything! You leave him out of this!" Sirius shouted at him.

"You're hardly in a position to say who I Owl and who I don't. Do you suppose Potter knows that spell?" Severus mused as he glanced over the paperwork he brought.

"You vindictive sniveling bastard! I swear if you so much as lift one finger at him I will tear you limb from limb! Ever seen anyone mauled from a dog? It's not pretty!" Sirius snarled.

"Yes, I'm sure Anna will appreciate that."

"At this point I don't care! I don't care about anything, just let me out, please, just let me out," he said, hitting his head on the bars.

"I'm afraid I don't have the power to do that," Severus said, looking towards him thoughtfully.

"Well you certainly seemed to have the power to put me in here!" Sirius shouted fiercely.

"It was your decision to jump me like that, not mine, and over a very simple question no less."

"You were accusing me of murder!"

"I was accusing you of nothing! If anyone did any accusing, you were doing it to yourself," Severus said, raising his voice to match his but still keeping an even tone. "I simply asked if you have had any nightmares about what you went through with Pettigrew the night he framed you."

"It's none of your business!" Sirius barked.

"Very well," Severus sighed and began writing a note, wondering how much of an inconvenience it would be to get a cot for himself. Sirius paced the cell a while, muttering to himself strangely until turning into dog form again. Knowing he wasn't likely to get anything more out of him, Severus finished his post and held it out to an anxious guard waiting outside the door, having a quick word with him before laying down in the next cell to close his eyes for a few moments.

It was only an hour later that it happened. A chill crept down Severus' spine and he instantly awoke, listening to the sound of restless tossing and turning in the next cell. Carefully he got up and felt for his wand, slipping out to peer in the dark cell. Shards of light from tiny slit windows far above pierced through like backwards shadows. From there he could tell that Sirius had at some point turned back to human form, and Severus found himself wondering about that. Quite suddenly, Sirius woke up and let out a horrifying scream, and the chill immediately intensified so dramatically that Severus whirled around to check his back. There, drifting in and down and even seemingly out of the walls themselves was a horde of Dementors. In an instant, Severus found himself experiencing Azkaban as it had once been; with shrieks and screams echoing out of the empty cells around them as if still filled and the Dementors hovering to the cell doors like moths attracted to light. They were merely phantasms, Severus knew, symptoms of Sirius' terribly plagued mind, but in that moment they seemed as real as could be.

"Expecto Patronum!" Severus intoned, a volley of bright white doves shooting out of his wand in a swarm. Sirius watched from where he sat in his cot shaken and confused at the bright light as the nightmare Dementors scattered and finally faded into nothing, leaving only a silhouette that faded back into the darkness as the light from his spell waned.

"That's not how it's supposed to happen," Sirius murmured in a hoarse voice. "The Unicorn… the Buck… not some stupid birds! Nothing is the way it's supposed to happen! I am not a murderer! I am not a traitor to my friends! I don't kill innocent lives! It was Pettigrew! Pettigrew! Why doesn't any one believe me? And why do I suddenly believe they were right all along? Please, help me! Anyone! I can't tell what's real and what isn't any more!"

"So I've noticed," Severus sighed softly. "And as such, I'm not sure I completely believe you are ready to accept help yet, despite the fact you ask for it."

"Of course not, how can you, when I don't believe myself any more? Who would believe a condemned man? A man to whom life has no value and can't trust himself outside of these bars… how can he expect anyone else to trust him?" Sirius shouted at him. "And why am I talking to you when you're probably just another figment of my imagination!"

"Good question," Severus agreed, sitting back down at the makeshift desk and taking out a couple of candles out of his pocket. "I suspect, however, that you will know the answer to that in the morning."

Sirius watched him warily as Severus lit the candles and began shifting through paperwork again, carefully dipping his quill and rubbing his head as he attempted to concentrate on what was before him. He didn't speak again. He didn't even look up. And Sirius found himself wondering again if he were really there at all. It was strange how the scratching noise of the quill pierced out of the darkness, as persistent as the flickering candlelight.

A headache was coming on now, and Sirius lay down, partially from pain… partially from exhaustion… and partially from confusion as his strained mind toyed with the idea that the last twenty free years of his life was nothing more than his imagination, diverting his mind from his imprisoned state. Finally, Sirius drifted off to sleep again, and although Severus noticed him tossing and turning quite often, it was a quiet couple of hours as the wan morning light dared to peek through the dreary prison windows.

It was the sound of a yawn that woke Sirius up, and he found himself staring at the rough ceiling in alarm, for part of him had expected to see the crisply painted ivory ceiling of his bedroom at home. The sudden realization caused him to sit abruptly up, causing a jolt of pain to thunder through his head and he let out an involuntary grunt at that.

"Serves you right after that foul stuff you were drinking last night," Severus said from where he still sat at the makeshift desk. "I suppose I might have something for that, if you're ready to believe I'm real now." Slowly Sirius walked to the door and peered out at him with squinting eyes until they finally came into focus. "As you can see, I'm still here."

"You're still here," Sirius agreed. "And I think I'm awake. And therefore… I think I am going to kill you," he said, rubbing his head again.

"Do you want the potion or not?"

"Potion first. Head on a stick later," Sirius decided. "And get me the hell out of here."

"I told you before, I don't have the power. You're the only one who can decide when to come out of that prison you've made for yourself," Severus said evenly. Sirius stared at Severus suspiciously then pushed on the prison door. It easily swung open.

"Now I'm really going to kill you," Sirius said flatly. "Who do you think you are pulling this Dumbledore crap with me?"

"I believe I am the only person who bothers to come near you that you feels no obligation to protect you from the truth of what has been going through your head lately," Severus said, picking up his things. "You did have a dream about that night, didn't you, Sirius? Only this time, you actually saw yourself doing exactly what the Ministry accused you of; killing Pettigrew and all of those around him. And then that morning, you woke up to find out that someone had used Comet Strike on a warehouse very near to where that had taken place."

Sirius slumped against the door and slid down to the floor with an ashen haunted look on his face.

"I wasn't certain, Severus. Perhaps it was a coincidence… that's what I tried to tell myself, and yet something told me it wasn't… it was rather nagging, really. I had heard what happened to Jennifer, of course, but there was no one in my dream that wasn't there when it happened. What if it's just me, Severus? What if it's my own insanity bursting out and making me do terrible things while I'm asleep? I can't do this again. I can't be put here again. You might as well hand me a death sentence and be done with it. But if I am guilty, I am just as dead, for I could never live with myself knowing that in a sheer moment of terror that I took two innocent men."

"I see you've condemned yourself already, and if so, I suppose there truly is nothing I can do," Severus said as he set the stool aside. "I had a feeling that your cry for help last night didn't mean anything. Here, take this," he added, handing him a bottle with a complicated seal.

"This isn't for curing hangovers," Sirius frowned as he read the poison label.

"No, but you'll find it painless and effective. I'll let Anna know you went quickly," Severus said. Sirius glared and thrust the bottle back at him.

"I hate you," Sirius said.

"Does this mean you're ready to get help or not?" Severus asked with a fixed gaze. Sirius gazed back at him for a long time.

"What sort of help did you have in mind?" Sirius asked reluctantly.