A/n 1: sweetytweety013, Cow as White as Milk, sesshyluver03: Thank you :)
ShilviGrl/Amyjenc1: I couldn't agree with you more, Fudge is such an idiot.
A/n 2: If you have some constructive criticism, comments and/or questions, I would very much like to hear them. So please review!
Disclaimer: Everything except the plot still belongs to the one and only J.K. Rowling.
Unexpected feelings –7
How dare he, the insolent, senile, meddling bastard?!
Severus slammed the dungeon door after him, causing the assembled students to jump in their seats, which in turn caused Severus to glare at them with eyes that stopped every single snide comment about both his tardiness and his supposed affair. Visibly shivering with fear, the class of second year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs stared at him.
Closing his eyes, Severus tried to ignore the overwhelming desire to let his anger and confusion out on someone, anyone, and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and spoke in voice so low it should have been humanly impossible to hear. Nonetheless, every student in the room heard it.
"We do not have sufficient time for our lesson today. Class dismissed.".
A silence met his words, and the students glanced at each other, unable to believe what they had just heard. Feeling his temper rise at alarming speed, Severus growled: "Get out. Now.".
The students jumped up and hurried out of the room, noticeably relieved, and Severus buried his head in his hands.
If I keep this up I'll soon be either in Azkaban as a murderer or in St. Mungo's as a lunatic.
Groaning he sat down at his desk and rested his head on the tabletop. The maelstrom of emotions that had brutally attacked him since he had awakened in the morning, had not done any good to his already existing headache. He had no idea how things could have gone from tolerable, even nice, to completely disastrous in less than twenty-four hours.
What is wrong with me? Hermione is my student.. How could I do that to her, how could I act on these.. attractions?? I am a perverted old man, there is no other explanation.
The headache was slowly becoming a migraine as the well-known feelings of bitterness and self-disgust washed over him. A tiny voice in the back of his mind was protesting, reminding him of Albus words and telling him that she had kissed him back, but he firmly shut it out.
She is not in love with me, she is not angry because I 'broke her heart'.. She is angry because I forced myself on her and ruined her reputation! Albus must be raving mad, thinking a girl like her would ever even consider me.. Sheer madness!
A sharp knock on his door startled him out of his reverie half an hour later, and he jumped to his feet as the door opened.
Remus Lupin walked in, his expression somewhat irascible and his eyes full of contained anger. "I would like a word with you, Severus.", he said, his voice low and determined.
Staring at the man in front of him, Severus suddenly realized that something was different. Remus Lupin was usually a man that was regarded as the most kind and friendly of persons, but his entire demeanor now spoke of dire consequences should anyone argue with him. Keeping his eyes on his colleague, Severus sat down as Lupin took the seat across the desk.
Arranging his face into the usual expression of polite boredom he usually wore around his colleagues, Severus said: "And to what may I owe the pleasure of your visit, Lupin? Do you not have any classes yet?".
"I honestly did not think you would be such a fool, Severus.".
"Excuse me?". The wariness had disappeared from Severus, and the anger was rushing back instead. "Just what is that supposed to mean?".
"What did you do to her?". Lupin's voice had changed into exasperation.
"I thought that was obvious, Lupin, you must have seen the photograph like everyone else in this school.", Severus mumbled, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. To his utter surprise, Lupin smiled and said, with a tone one would have expected if it had been directed toward a toddler: "I mean after that. What did you do to her, that made her so angry at you, that she started an argument in front of half the school?".
If I did not know any better, I would say that he treats me like a confused child..
"I asked her to leave, of course. I am her teacher, it was a completely inappropriate action and I had to stop before..". He cut himself off, unsure of what it exactly was he had intended to say.
"Before you realized that your feelings for her are returned.".
"What?!". Severus had jumped to his feet and was staring down at his colleague, an incredulous look on his face. "Don't you dare say what you are implying, she is not in love with me! I will not tole-".
He was cut off as Lupin jumped to his feet as well, and his eyes were flashing warningly. "She is in love with you, Severus! She is not angry with you because of the photograph and the consequences it might have, she is angry because you hurt her! Why can you not just realize that? She loves you.".
A stunned silence followed his words. Severus had no idea what to say, the temperamental outburst was so out of character for Lupin, and his words were slowly sinking into his mind. Despite the realization that Lupin might have a point, he still refused to believe it.
She cannot, she must not, I will not believe it...
"And where is your proof for that?". His voice was strained, forcefully kept even.
"I do not doubt that she would be most angry with both me and the Headmaster if she ever found out that we had disclosed it, but she has admitted it to Albus.".
Oh.. Shit. What have I done to her?? What am I going to do?
"I.. I do not know what to do.". Severus was now unable to keep a slight waver out of his voice.
"I think that is quite obvious, Severus. You must apologize to her, and tell her the truth about your feelings.". Lupin smiled sadly. "I don't doubt it will be one of the most difficult things you have ever done, but if this is not sorted out, both of you will be very miserable for a long time.".
Severus closed his eyes. He felt drained and exhausted, and his head was spinning. He opened his mouth to make some snide comment, something that would make Lupin go away and leave him alone with his thoughts. The words that came out instead shocked both of the men. "I am afraid.".
A frown creased the face of Lupin as Severus closed his eyes again, mentally scolding his own tongue for its recklessness and loss of control. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself to receive either the ridicule and scorn or the pity, that would no doubt come from the mouth of his colleague. To his surprise it did not come. "Why?".
Severus' head snapped up. Lupin's expression was calm and interested, not at all full of contempt or pity. Frowning slightly, Severus regarded the other man.
Why should I confide in him? He is an insufferable werewolf, that once made my life a living hell, and I have no reason to trust him.
Feeling very apprehensive, Severus continued regarding the other man. Lupin patiently kept his eyes on him and, without knowing exactly why, Severus ignored his doubts and said: "She is a weakness. If she was captured by Death Eaters she would be subjected to the most horrible of tortures, and I would not hesitate in rushing to her aid. I would then fall into the hands of the Dark Lord, and with the combined power and knowledge of both me and her, the Dark Lord would have one of the most dangerous weapons ever imaginable. We would be doomed.".
A dry chuckle sounded from Lupin, and Severus frowned. The playful tone of the Defense against the Dark Arts Professor confused him, as Lupin said: "You do have very high thoughts of yourself, don't you?". But the comment was not derisive, and Severus found himself reluctantly smiling at it.
"I guess I do. But it is nonetheless the truth, and Hermione is in great danger. And whoever took that photograph may turn out to be a reason of concern as well.". A worried expression crossed his features as Lupin nodded. "Yes, and furthermore, this whole affair is about to become official.".
At the sight of the puzzlement on Severus' face, he continued: "Officials from the Ministry of Magic are on their way to carry out a formal investigation about the supposed affair between yourself and Hermione. They wanted to take us by surprise, but thanks to our Ministry informants, we know about it. That was actually the original reason for this little talk."
"But you just could not ignore a chance to scold me and take your anger out on me.". Severus mumbled.
"Well, I rather thought you would appreciate the fact that it was I who delivered the message instead of some of our other colleagues.". A small grin accompanied the words of the professor, and he started laughing at Severus' doubtful expression. "If Minerva had been allowed to do what she initially intended, you would be in the Hospital Wing right now. She was rather livid when she first saw the photograph, we only just succeeded in restraining her.".
"I take it she believed that I had seduced Hermione and was having an affair with her?", Severus said with a derisive snort.
"She pretty much did, yes. It took me quite a while to convince her of the truth.".
Why would he do that? He had no way of knowing what had actually happened, no reason to vouch for me, or to-
"Don't look so suspicious, Severus!". Lupin's voice cut off his train of thought, and Severus frowned at him, feeling rather annoyed. He had apparently not been able to keep his expression indifferent, and the loss of control was getting on his nerves. His voice was very annoyed when he said: "And how would you be able to convince Minerva of the truth? You had not spoken with me then, for all that you knew I could have had an affair with Hermione.".
His question caused another laugh to issue from his associate, and Severus patience was quickly waning. He sneered and crossed his arms as he waited for a reply. Lupin finally chuckled: "You forget, Severus, I have known you for many years. We may not be friends, but I know enough about you to feel certain of the fact that you would never have an affair with a student. That was also what I told Minerva, and she agreed with me in the end, though somewhat reluctantly.".
Severus glared at him, but refrained from commenting. Instead he asked: "Has Albus told Hermione of the danger I believe she is in?".
"Well, no. Not yet, the news of the investigation interrupted their talk. He said he would tell her as soon as the inquiry is over".
Frowning, Severus leaned back in his chair, absentmindedly staring into space. He was startled slightly when Lupin rose from his chair.
Shaking his head slightly, Lupin walked to the door and said: "I should be on my way, I do not want to be late for my class.". He opened the door and walked out of it, turning around before he closed it and grinned: "By the way, Severus, Hermione is going to graduate in just a month. She wont be your student for much longer.".
The door was closed before Severus could jump to his feet, and he cursed at the impertinence of Remus Lupin.
Insufferable werewolf!
Sighing deeply and rubbing his temples, Severus sat down at his desk again and let his mind wander.
What the hell am I going to do? Hermione will never let me come near her again, let alone give me a chance to speak to her.. And just what is Fudge thinking, sending Officials to investigate?? Damn the Ministry, damn that werewolf, damn Albus, damn my own weakness!
When Hermione returned to her room, she was met with the worried questions of Harry and Ginny. After recounting the events in the Headmaster's office, Hermione threw herself on her bed, feeling extremely exhausted and emotionally drained.
Feels like I've been on a bloody emotional roller coaster in the last twenty-four hours!
They sat in silence for a while, Hermione feeling miserable, and Harry and Ginny seemingly lost in thought. Finally the silence was broken when Harry said: "Hermione.. What are you going to do now?".
Frowning, Hermione asked: "What do you mean, Harry?".
"About Snape. I mean, maybe it wasn't his fault that rumor was spread, maybe-".
Hermione sharply cut him off. "What are you talking about?".
Harry sighed and and cast her an odd glance before explaining: "You've just kind of.. assumed that he's responsible for these rumors.. Maybe he rejected you last night because he was afraid, or something, and then someone else took that picture without his knowledge.".
What on earth is he on about??
"And what difference would it make?? He still lied to me when he told me that he loved me, he still played around with my emotions when he kissed me, and he wasn't exactly denying that it was his fault earlier today!". Her voice had a slightly hysterical edge to it, and Hermione took a deep breath to steady herself.
I cannot break down, I must be strong..
"We didn't exactly give him a chance to explain.", Ginny said in a thoughtful voice. "I mean, we walked off before he could say anything.".
Shaking her head, Hermione bit her lip.
I do not need this right now..
"Hermione.. You know I don't like Snape, I never have and probably never will. But no matter how mean he is, I don't believe he would hurt you like that on purpose.". Harry said quietly, taking Hermione's hand.
Fighting hard to keep the threatening tears away from her eyes, Hermione mumbled: "But how could he reject me like that? If he really loved me, like he said he did, he wouldn't have done that..".
"I dunno.. I don't know him, I don't know why he reacts like he does. Like I said, he might be afraid of something. Maybe he wanted to avoid a situation like this one, with rumors all over the school. I think you should talk with him as soon as this stupid inquiry is over-"-
Hermione's head snapped up. "No! I wont talk to him. If he really didn't mean to hurt me, he can come to me!". The hurt and humiliation of being rejected was still evident in her, and she determinedly shook her head.
I refuse to let him best me, I must be strong.
Harry and Ginny shot each other a concerned look, but kept quiet.
The next couple of hours passed without further incidents. Severus' mind kept mulling over the many thoughts, and he only half-heartedly sneered at the few students that dared smirking at him. The many whispers suddenly didn't matter to him, even though he knew what they were about, his mind kept returning to the fact that Hermione did not yet know what kind of danger she was in. That led to thoughts of the horrible torture she would have to endure should she be caught, and when he forced his mind away from that, he instead pondered the identities of respectively the anonymous photographer and the one of this 'X', who seemed determined to make sure he did not forget the threat of the Dark Lord. As if he could have anyway.
Halfway through his last class, Remus Lupin knocked on the door with a written note from the Headmaster. Leaving the class to Lupin's supervision, Severus quickly walked to the Headmaster's office.
"Just a stupid inquiry.", he mumbled to himself as he knocked on the door. When he entered it was with an indifferent expression.
Hermione, Ginny and Harry had wordlessly agreed to avoid the subject of one Potions Master, and had instead spend the previous couple of hours talking. Hermione had not been able to keep tears from overwhelming her every once in a while, and her friends had comforted her as they best could. When McGonagall knocked on the door to Hermione's room and told her the time for the inquiry had come, Hermione simply nodded at her friends and followed her professor out of the room.
They walked briskly toward the office. Just as they stepped onto the staircase, McGonagall turned around and said: "Ms. Granger, I would like you to know that you have the full support of the Hogwarts faculty, no matter what happens during this inquiry or in the future.".
Hermione opened her mouth to ask what the professor meant, but they had reached the office doors, and Hermione instead frowned slightly, confused about what the professor meant with her comment. Determined to figure it out later, she held her head high as she stepped into the office.
"Hello, Professor Snape.". The clipped voice of Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic, greeted Severus. "Would you like to have a seat?".
Raising his eyebrows slightly, Severus nodded and sat down in one of the chairs in front of the Headmaster's desk.
Pompous fool.. Acting as though this was his office.
Apart from the Minister and the Headmaster, two Aurors were also present.
"I am certain you are wondering why you have been called to the Headmaster's office, Professor, and I am afraid the reason is not too pleasant.", the Minister began. His words were polite and friendly enough, but his voice was cold and his expression contemptuous. "Certain rumors has reached the ears of the Board of Governors, and I have been asked to personally investigate these rumors. Now, I know a rumor is hardly what one could refer to as evidence of anything,", he laughed coldly, "But it has come to my intention that there is indeed factual evidence in this matter.".
Dumbledore coughed lightly, clearing his throat, and quietly inquired: "Would you like to elaborate, Cornelius? Which rumors do you refer to?".
The cold smile grew even wider. "Oh, I'm sure you have no idea, Dumbledore. Very well, then. I am referring to the rumor of an affair between Professor Snape here and your Head Girl.". His eyes rested on the Potions Master, and Severus calmly returning the look, his face still impassive.
"Ah, yes, I thought it might be that. I have already investigated this matter, and it is my conclusion that the rumor is nothing more than that. A rumor.". Dumbledore's voice had an underlying severity, and his eyes were fixed on the Minister's face.
Fudge snorted and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, slammed on the table and sneered: "Then how would you explain this photograph?".
The piece of paper was one of the manifestos that had spread throughout the school, and the faithful picture was making Severus' temper diminish rapidly. Taking a deep breath he opened his mouth and spoke the first words he had said since his arrival: "It is very simple. There is nothing other than a student-teacher relationship between Ms. Granger and myself, and this picture is merely an attestation of an error of judgment from my side.".
"You expect me to believe that?! You expect me to believe that you have not seduced a student of yours, that this picture happens to be a the only time anything inappropriate has happened between you? The odds of that are ludicrously small!", Fudge bellowed, his false politeness gone.
Dumbledore regarded him with sharp eyes before he said: "It is the truth, Cornelius. I have personally spoken with Severus and Ms. Granger, and they have both ensured me that there is nothing else to this matter than what is obvious from this picture. I believe them, Cornelius, and you have no reason not to.".
"And just what kind of punishment have you decided upon, Dumbledore? Even if you believe there is nothing else between them, his actions should still have consequences.". His voice had dropped to the cold sneer again.
"I have decided upon no punishment.". The incredulous look on Fudge's face made Dumbledore continue. "The Teaching Contract of Hogwarts clearly states that student-teacher-relationships will result in immediate termination of employment. However, since this was not an actual relationship, there is no ground in the contract to take such drastic measures. A smaller punishment could have been arranged, but I have been asked to ensure that the incident will not have any consequences.".
Stunned, Severus stared at the Headmaster.
The only one who could ask of such a thing would be Hermione, but why on earth would she do that?
Fudge was staring at Dumbledore, apparently without any idea of what to say. He finally pulled himself enough together to ask: "And who asked for no consequences?".
"Ms. Granger did.". Dumbledore had shifted his eyes from the Minister and was instead gazing at Severus, a small smile crossing his features faster than most would have perceived. "Ms. Granger asked that there was no consequences for Professor Snape.".
Fudge had quickly regained his contemptuous air, and said: "Really? Well, I hope you don't mind, Dumbledore, but I would like to hear those words from her own mouth.".
As on cue, there was a knock at the door. Smiling broadly, Dumbledore said: "Of course, Cornelius, that would in fact be her.". The door swung open and Hermione walked in, followed by Professor McGonagall. Pointedly ignoring Severus, Hermione sat down in the other chair in front of the desk, and looked at Dumbledore.
"Ms. Granger, I would like to introduce you to Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic.", Dumbledore said as he gestured toward the Minister, the twinkle once again in place.
With a polite smile Hermione rose and shook hands with Fudge, who plastered a would-be kind smile on his face. He nodded briefly at McGonagall, whose lips thinned threateningly, and then began a speech similar to the one he had given Severus when he had first entered.
As the Minister spoke, Severus was discreetly studying her. Her expression was one of polite interest, but Severus, who had spend many hours in her company, could also see the underlying annoyance. A small pang of some unknown emotion suddenly hit him, and he found himself craving the days of their tentative friendship.
If only I could have controlled myself, we would not be in this predicament!
Sighing unnoticably, Severus cast her a last glance before turning away. Something caught his eye and he turned back, sharply looking at her eyes.
Has she been crying?? Oh no.. What the hell have I done? I have to talk to her as soon as-
His thoughts were cut off as Hermione started answering the Minister's questions.
"..That is correct, there has been no other incidents. I have already told the Headmaster this.", she said, her voice slightly strained.
"I see. I have also been informed that you have requested no consequences, is that right?". Fudge's voice left no doubt about his opinion; he did not find Hermione's testimony believable. Anger was beginning to pulse through Severus' veins, and he took a deep breath to steady himself.
Hermione seemed to hesitate for a second before answering. "Yes, I asked that there be no consequences.". She stared at her own fingers, as Fudge glared at her, obviously annoyed. A small smile crept over his face, and Severus stiffened in his chair.
What is he up to now..?
"Ms. Granger, though I do not doubt your testimony-", Hermione's head snapped up and an expression of obvious disbelief crossed her features, "-I would like to you to repeat your statement under the influence of Veritaserum.".
Complete silence fell over the room. No one had ever heard of anyone using Truth Serum in such a matter; in fact, the few student-teacher-relationships there had ever been had all been dealt with without either the Ministry or any potions. Fudge was smirking, looking as though he was certain of having fooled them all.
"I am not certain that will be necessary, Cornelius.", Dumbledore said sharply. To Severus' surprise, Hermione shook her head and said quietly: "It's alright, sir. I have nothing to hide."
Fudge stared at her. He seemed to have been certain that she would refuse, and her answer had taken him by surprise.
One of the Aurors handed Hermione a vial of the clear liquid, which she quickly drank. A second passed before she responded to the Serum, her voice becoming monotonous. After repeating her answers, Fudge was angrier and his face more red than ever, the Headmaster's eyes were twinkling and Severus smirking.
Looking as though he was struggling to speak coherently, the Minister informed them that there was no grounds for action by the Minstry and stormed out of the office, quickly followed by the Aurors.
"Severus.. I think it is best if you return to your class now. There are some urgent matters Ms. Granger and I need to discuss, and it would furthermore be best if she stayed here until the Serum wears off.", Dumbledore said, his voice low and his eyes fixed on Hermione's face. She was determinedly staring out of the window. Severus nodded curtly at the Headmaster and left the office.
I have to speak with her as soon as possible.
"Hermione.". The Headmaster's voice cut through her thoughts, and she turned to look at him. He was smiling at her somewhat sadly, and she frowned.
Something's wrong...
"Yes? Is there something wrong?", she said, carefully keeping her voice even.
Dumbledore's smile disappeared. A slow anxiety was creeping into Hermione; she had rarely seen the Headmaster like this, seeming to be so worried. He sighed deeply, and said: "Earlier today, it was brought to my intention that, due to circumstances beyond our control, you may be in grave danger.".
No beating around the bush..
"I see. What kind of danger, and which circumstances?". Her voice was unnaturally calm, and it quite surprised her. The unease that was building inside of her should have been more pronounced, but it seemed as though the confrontation with the Minister had quelled her strong emotions. Instead she felt a dull pain in her heart, and made a quiet promise to herself to be strong.
I must be strong, I cannot let my emotions affect me in such a way.
"Because of the rumors about your involvement with Professor Snape, it is probable that you have become a very likely target of Voldemort and his Death Eaters.", the Headmaster said.
Frowning, Hermione stared at him.
But I've always been a target. Being friends with The-Boy-Who-Lived has it's dangers...
"I know that you have always considered yourself a target, because of Harry. You are a weakness to him, and now you are also a weakness to Professor Snape, a man who has betrayed the trust of Voldemort by being a spy."
"I am no weakness to him,", she answered the old man in front of her, "He doesn't care about me.".
To her surprise, Dumbledore again smiled sadly. "He does care, Hermione. More than he ever has, and it scares him.".
Absurd.. Sounds just like Harry's twaddle..
"With all due respect, sir, I don't believe that. If he really cared he wouldn't have pushed me away like that.", she said through clenched teeth. Remembering her own promise from only a few minutes earlier, she forced herself to remain calm as the Headmaster continued to smile at her.
"I daresay I would have a hard time convincing you, but I sincerely hope you soon realize that he really does care. Just try to give him a chance to explain.".
Nodding reluctantly, Hermione got up from her chair. "I'll try. If you don't mind, sir, I would like to return to my room.".
"Of course. Before you leave, I would like you to know that, as a result of the increased threat toward you, you must remain on the castle grounds. I hope you understand.". His tone of voice indicated that she had no say in this matter, and sighing irritably, she nodded curtly and strode out of the office.
Severus was standing in the shadows of the hallway, waiting for Hermione to emerge from the entrance to the Headmaster's office.
How am I going to do this, what am I going to say to her? What do I want to say to her?
Changing his mind for the umpteenth time since he had decided to wait for her, Severus turned around and started walking away. Behind him the sound of stone moving was heard and he froze, before slowly turning back.
Hermione was standing in the middle of the hallway, steadily regarding him, her voice cold as she said: "Hello, Professor.".
Severus took a couple of steps toward her, then stopped. Her entire demeanor was cold and standoffish, and the change from the kind and openhearted person she usually was, perplexed him. Not knowing how else to begin, he said: "I wanted to say that.. that I apologize for my behavior yesterday.".
His voice was eerily calm and cold, and not nearly as sincere as he had hoped it to be. She seemed to have noticed it as well; a hurtful expression quickly crossed her features. Regaining her demeanor, she said: "Apology accepted. I would like to apologize myself, my behavior earlier today was inexcusable.".
Her words chilled him to the bone. Her tone of voice was exactly the same as the one he so often used himself, and the underlying bitterness was tangible in the air. He stared at her, unable to utter a single word. After a tense moment she mumbled: "Goodbye.", turned around and walked away.
A deep feeling of loss spread throughout Severus as he stared after her.