Chapter 1

Beastboy jammed his thumbs into the controller so hard that an outsider might fear that it would snap under his hands, but as Cyborg had proved that the thin plastic casing was tough as reinforced steel-- he gave it just as bad a pounding as Beastboy, and never once had a controller short-circuited.

"C'mon man, c'mon..." Beastboy willed his swordfighter to dodge a cannon blast. The virtual green-clad swordsman landed nimbly beside the armored bounty hunter and raised it's sword.

"Friends! Raven and I will be going to the mall of shopping! If anything is wrong-" A cheery Tameranian yelled from across the room.

Cyborg would have waved her aside if his hands had not been full. The virtual bounty hunter struck the swordsman with a missile at point-blank range. "Sure thing Star. Don't wait up."

"We're just going for an hour." A considerably less cheery teen muttered. She did not raise her voice, but the monotone cut nicely through the buzzing and sound effects all the same. "Just an hour." Beastboy could never decide if the last statement was aimed at them or the red-head at her side. Raven owed Starfire one, though, as the said alien had proclaimed loud and long until Raven consented to an hour of shopping. How this "one" had been accumulated was anybody's guess. Raven had merely said that it involved scissors, peanut butter, and a defective toaster.

"NO!" Beastboy's screamed in fury as his own character hurtled off the screen. "Dude, you so cheated!" Raven and Starfire traded glances before wisely slipping away while they could.

Cyborg stuck out his tongue. "Whatever floats your boat. Now say it." If the robotic teen had grinned any wider Beastboy was sure his circuits would crack.

"Not a chance." Beastboy crossed his arms and sulked. This should have been his victory.

"Say it."

"Fine." Beastboy muttered something unintelligible in an undertone.

"I can't hear you." Cyborg cupped a hand to one ear.

Beastboy literally snarled and repeated himself. "Cyborg's on top, Beastboy's a sop. The cyberman rules, and dogboy drools." Beastboy ground his teeth. "Happy now?"

Cyborg tapped a few keys in his arm. To Beastboy's horror, his last sentences were replayed at high volume. "Cyborg's on top, Beastboy's a sop. The cyberman rules, dogboy drools."

"Yep."

"That is so unfair! Man, I-" Beastboy stopped in mid-rant. A thought had struck him. "Hey, you know Raven's out of the house for an hour, right?"

"Yes..." Cyborg was wary. Last time his friend had that gleam in his eye Cyborg had ended up scraping tofu off his bedroom wall for weeks.

"We should so booby-trap her room! It'll be awesome!" The shapeshifter rubbed his hands together and cackled. Well, in all honesty, it was more of a giggle, actually.

Cyborg shook his head wildly and began to tick of points on his fingers. "One: do you remember what happened last time we went in there? I'd rather not run into four eyes again. Two: She'd kill us slowly, use some dark magicky trick to bring us back, make us clean up the mess our blood made, then kill us again! Three: she's got a lock programmed into the door now, and not all of us can morph into flies."

Beastboy shrugged and vaulted over the back of the couch, making a beeline for the elevator. "Suit yourself!"

...This symbolizes some passing of time...This symbolizes some passing of time...

Beastboy stood rubbing his palms together infront of a door bearing a plain gold plaque. The letters glinted the simple word "Raven" in the light. Beastboy hopped from foot to foot, impatient to let the pranking begin. He dived at the crack, morphed into a humming bird, and changed back on the other end without breaking stride. "What to booby-trap first...?" The light words had to be forced out of his mouth with a cheerfulness he did not feel-- something about Raven's room always gave him the creeps.

Beastboy took in his surrounding carefully, or tried to. For some reason a chest in the corner kept drawing his eye. He should open it. Yeah, that was a great idea. The shapeshifter treaded lightly on his tip-toes towards the chest and pulled on the lid. It took more force than he expected to heave the dark wood up and over. At other times he might have admired the engravings, but for some reason he felt inexplicably impatient.

Beastboy was confronted with the same book that he remembered from those months ago. He had spent enough time spying on Raven while she chatted with dragonboy to recognize it when he saw it. Raven's going to kill me if she finds out I was snooping around with this thing. At first he scrambled to grab the lid and slam it shut upon this realization, but something kept him from doing so. Another thought wormed its way into his mind. Why should he be afraid? Malchi-whatsit was safely locked away, and it might be fun to gloat about the imprisonment for a little while. Beastboy carefully hefted the leather-bound tome onto his lap and flipped it open. He was greeted by two baleful eyes.

"How's the weather in there?" Beastboy grinned at the book. Now that it was open in his hands, all desire to be talking to the thing inside, or even be in this room, was gone. Beastboy almost considered leaving-- but it was too late now.

"Oh, it's the moron. Hello, moron." The dragon still retained it's aristocratic voice and English accent. He was remarkably cheerful for something confined to a book indefinitely.

"I'm smarter than you." Beastboy shot back.

"Smarter than me?" It coughed in polite disbelief. "Hardly."

"And that's why I'm the one breathing fresh air and you're stuck in a boring old book." Beastboy saw its eyes slit in momentary annoyance, but the outburst was gone as quickly as it had come.

"Some of us just have dumb luck, I suppose." Malchior went on before Beatboy could process the jibe. "Honestly, I doubt you can even read."

"I can too!" Beastboy yelled just a decibel to loudly. He did not think it worth to mention he had never finished a book without pictures.

"Oh, really? Then read... this." The pages fluttered and came to rest on a single leaf with just a few sentences at the top.

Beastboy knew he should not. Every pore in his being screamed at him to shut the book, toss it in the chest, and leave, but something held him back. He couldn't leave now. He would humor the thing a little. Beastboy squinted at the letters. He was sure it was not English. "Mee es wat ahded." He paused to try and make sense of what he had said. His face changed in color so that it looked like a Christmas decoration. "Hey!"

"Amen. But you haven't finished yet."

Beastboy plowed on, determined to prove the thing wrong. The words were foreign, even if the script was simple Times New Roman. Beastboy failed to catch anything further degrading to himself, but there must have been some hidden meaning since when he finished he had the distinct sensation that Malchior was holding back a chuckle.

"I'm afraid you mispronounced a word there. So sorry. I pity your parents... stuck with a thing like you. Then again, they can't have been high-watt bulbs either. I swear, there should be a law against idiots reproducing."

That stung. Beastboy did not bother replying, but merely slammed shut the book, hurled it inside the chest, heaved down the lid with a bang, and dashed from the room. All thoughts of booby-traps were forgotten.

...This would be a page break...This would be a page break...Page break... Break...

Malchior gathered his energy to force the weakened cracks open. He was finally free.

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Umm... review? You didn't get any Raven interaction this chapter, I apologize, but she'll be in the next on for sure. Right. Umm... this would be the part where I ask you to review, right? Please?