Well, I said I post this before HBP, heh.
First of all, I would like to apologize for taking so long to write this chapter. Between computer problems and real life I just didn't have the time or the energy to write. Furthermore I went back and looked over the previous chapters of this story and found several things I'm unhappy about, many of them tempting me to abandon this story. But, since I know how annoying it is to read a story just to find out it has been abandoned, in the end I decided to go on, letting the story take me where it was needed. As I said, there are many things I'm unhappy about in the previous chapters, and also in my previous stories, but I find consolation in the fact that I have only been seriously attempting to write stories for less than a year, and that I'm therefore not as good a writer as I hope to become some day.
I'm still not completely happy about this chapter either, but it's most likely not getting any better, so I have decided to post this before losing my nerve.
Thank you to all who have reviewed throughout this story, and also to those who might review after this chapter.
Disclaimer: Everything except plot belongs to JK Rowling.
UF 14 - The end.
Hermione stared out onto the moonlit grounds, deep in thought. She had returned to Hogwarts with Harry no more than two hours earlier, and had barely had time to think the events of the previous days through. Now, however, she had nothing but time as she stood in the empty Infirmary and stared out of the windows.
She had answered Dumbledore's questions as well as she could manage when they came back, ensured that there had been no more casualties since she had left, and then left Dumbledore and Harry alone to discuss what ever they wanted to discuss. Wanting to avoid running into anyone she had wandered more or less aimlessly through the corridors until she had found herself outside the Infirmary. Surprised at the direction her thoughts had taken her; she none the less peered inside the room and was surprised to find it empty. She had moved to the window, staring at the grounds.
It's odd.. So many lives have been spared, so many of my friends have made it through this war, and yet..
Yet something felt wrong. One person hadn't made it through, one of the few people Hermione had come to care about, more than anything else. Lost in the final battle, when it had seemed he had finally had a chance for a life.
Turning away from the window she wiped the tears from her eyes and walked out of the Infirmary, closing the door, mere seconds before the fire in Infirmary fireplace roared and someone stumbled out.
An odd light was flickering just out of reach. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to know what had happened, too afraid of the answer he would receive if he dared to ask the questions roaming through his mind.
So he stayed still.
Sitting on the bench in the small courtyard, staring into the brightening sky, Hermione was deep in thought. She barely noticed the world around her, and it wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she realized she was no longer alone.
"Oh, hello Harry.", she said, her voice tired and her smile not quite reaching her eyes. Harry sat down beside her and sent her a worried look.
"Hermione.. How are you doing?". His voice was low and strained with concern. Staring at him Hermione didn't know what to say, and it took her several seconds to react. "Oh, I'm.. I'm fine, really. I'll be fine.". Her voice sounded uncertain, even to herself.
Looking apprehensive, Harry visibly steeled himself to say something. Opening his mouth, his voice failed him, and he had to take a deep breath before asking: "I'm not sure.. Hermione, I'm not sure how to ask this, but.. Do you remember what curse.. I mean, did you hear what curse Voldemort sent at you? Which curse it was that hit Sn-".
"I really don't know what difference that makes, Harry.". Suddenly finding herself on her feet and feeling her heart pounding hard in her chest, she could only stare at her friend before her, as her voice shook slightly.
How dare he say something like that, how dare he when there's no hope..
Suddenly sick of looking at the expression on Harry's face, somewhere between deep concern, wild hope and melancholy, Hermione turned around and stared ahead of her. She had no idea what Harry was talking about, but if this was his idea of making her feel better..
"I'm not so sure that it was the killing curse, Hermione.". Harry's voice cut through her thoughts, and she whirled around to face him again. He hadn't moved, but his eyes had taken on a harder glint, as he looked up at her. "Voldemort never spoke the words of the curse, and other spells exists that look like it.".
Staring wildly at her friend, Hermione felt a small hope creep into her heart, then disappear as suddenly as it came. "Even if it wasn't Avada Kedavra, Harry, he was still in the house when it collapsed. No one could have survived-". Her voice broke and she stared at her feet, determined to get her emotions under control.
"Even so, I'm not going to give up hope.", Harry whispered. His voice softening, she could hear him standing up from the bench. "I'm going to keep searching, Hermione. I may have hated him all those years, but I can't just leave him for dead. I can't.".
Closing her eyes for a moment, Hermione took a deep breath before looking up and seeing the door swing softly shut behind her friend.
Feeling as if her world had turned upside down for the fiftieth time in far too short a period of time, she stared at the closed door with all kinds of thoughts going through her mind. Was it possible, could it really be true..?
Determinedly shaking her head to clear her head, Hermione sat down on the bench again and stared into the sky.
"Welcome back, Severus.". A serene voice cut through the hazy fog surrounding him as Severus opened his eyes. The momentary confusion he felt slowly abated, and as he looked around him he found that he was in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts. Staring at the Headmaster sitting beside the bed, he had no idea what to say.
"You must be a bit confused.", the Headmaster chuckled, leaning forward and taking a water jug from the nightstand next to the bed, pouring some water into a goblet and holding it out for Severus to take. Not knowing what else to do, Severus accepted the goblet and took a sip.
"What.. what happened..?", he mumbled, finally getting a few of his thoughts sorted out. "The last thing I remember is running out of the house after.. After being hit..". He stared at the Headmaster, his mouth suddenly dry. "I should be dead, Albus! I was hit with the Killing Curse, why am I not dead?".
To his surprise the Headmaster began to laugh. "You were obviously not hit with the Killing Curse, Severus.".
"But I jumped in front of the curse about to hit Hermione -oh Merlin, is she alright?". A sudden wave of fear made him sit up straight, regretting this immediately as his head began to pound. The Headmaster smiled kindly at him and, with the usual twinkle in his eyes, said reassuringly: "You have no need to worry. She and Harry arrived here at the school a few hours before you did, and they are quite all right. I daresay they will be even better once they hear about your return.".
His mind still swimming over with thoughts, Severus furrowed his brow. "Wait.. How did I get here? I have no memory at all of getting here".
"That is quite understandable, since you weren't actually conscious.", the Headmaster chuckled. At Severus' inquiring look, he continued: "Ginny Weasley found you and made sure you got her safely.". Staring at the older man, Severus couldn't get any of this to make any sense, and scowled at the confusion he felt. Disbelievingly, he asked: "Ginny Weasley? What on earth do you mean by that, Albus?".
"Well, it seems Ms Granger and Ms Weasley made an agreement, before Ms Granger and yourself left. In case the two of you did not return, Ms Weasley was to set out and search for you. I believe they agreed on waiting a week, though Ms Weasley felt rather impatient and left after no more than three days.". He paused and shook his head slightly, not completely able to keep his eyes from twinkling. "Though I must say I would have done my utmost to stop Ms Weasley had I known of this, it seems it was a good thing after all. She managed to trace Ms Granger and yourself, and arrived at the destroyed house not long after Harry and Ms Granger had left. Not knowing this, she searched the ruins and discovered you.".
Pausing again, the Headmaster looked at Severus, this time looking sombre. "I believe you owe Ms Weasley your thanks, Severus. Had she not found you, you would most likely not have been discovered for several days. With the degree of exhaustion you suffered under when brought in, you would not have survived a night in those ruins. Ms Weasley is quite exhausted herself, and has taken some Dreamless Sleep potion on the advice of both her mother and Madam Pomfrey, to ensure that she get some rest".
At the same moment Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office and, seeing that Severus was awake, started before saying admonishingly to the Headmaster: "Why didn't you tell me he was awake, Albus?". Hurrying back into the office she send the Headmaster an annoyed look, and returned a few moments later, her arms laden with various bottles.
The Headmaster stood from the chair he was sitting in and said: "I had better go find Ms Granger and Mr Potter, and inform them of your awakening.". With a last chuckle he left the room, leaving Severus to the Medi-witch's tender mercies.
A hand on her shoulder was gently shaking her awake. Hermione sat up, momentarily disorientated, and then realized that she was still in the courtyard. She had fallen asleep on the stone bench it seemed, and the sun was now high in the sky.
"Good morning Ms Granger. A usual place to sleep, I must say.". The Headmaster's kind voice sounded above her, and Hermione slowly sat up, her body aching from the uncomfortable sleeping place. "Good morning, Headmaster.", she mumbled, shifting on the bench so that he could sit down beside her.
"I have some news for you, Ms Granger, news I am certain you will be glad to hear.". The Headmaster turned to look at her, and she frowned at his smile, not knowing what to expect. The Headmaster continued to smile and said: "Earlier today Ms Weasley happened to arrive in the Infirmary, bringing someone with her.".
Her heart skipped a beat, but Hermione didn't say anything. Still smiling, the Headmaster continued: "She brought Severus back with her. Alive, Ms Granger.".
Not believing what she heard, Hermione jumped to her feet and stared at the Headmaster. "But, how.. I mean, the Killing Curse, he was hit.. How?".
"It seems that Severus was hit with something other than the Killing Curse. I have a few ideas of what it might have been, but I don't know anything for certain, and I doubt we will ever know. He is in the Infirmary now, awake. I suspect you might want to see him?".
Running out of the courtyard, Hermione was certain she heard the headmaster chuckling behind her.
Madam Pomfrey had left him alone at last, and he had spent the following time trying to remember what had happened. It had taken a while, but in the end he got his mind to cooperate. The bad thing about this, however, was that when he finally remembered the last few minutes before he passed out, he also remembered the feelings he had when he saw Hermione and Potter together. Which were not good feelings at all.
After seeing Hermione with her friend, it all became clear to Severus. How he could ever have thought he might be able to belong in her life was beyond him. She should be with Potter; they clearly had feelings for each other. And even if that didn't work out, she should be with someone else her own age, and it was stupid of him to even think..
Looking up when the Infirmary door banged open, Severus was surprised to find Hermione Granger standing in the doorway, looking dishevelled and staring at him as though seeing a ghost. Taking two steps into the Infirmary, she stopped again and stared at him, apparently unable to say anything.
"Hello, Ms Granger.", he said, not certain what else to say to her. She was still staring, and he didn't know what to do. This, more than anything, made him certain that he'd assumed right about her and Potter. She clearly didn't want anything else to do with him.
Finally, to break the awkward silence, he cleared his throat and said: "Well, I am glad to see you are alright, Ms Granger. Good day to you.". Without really realizing he had reverted back into the cold Professor persona, and he turned away from her quickly, not wanting her to see that it was nothing more than a mask.
Walking calmly out of the Infirmary was just about one of the hardest things she had ever done. Determinedly keeping the tears out of her eyes, she walked out of the room, breaking into a run only when she was a floor away from the Infirmary.
Taking refuge in the same small courtyard she had slept in earlier, Hermione once again stared at the sky. She would have thought that Severus would have been happy to see her, but he had acted as if everything that had ever happened between them had been forgotten.
It had hurt her more than she would ever admit when he had spoken to her in that cold voice, the one he usually saved for the classroom, and she just couldn't understand what had brought about this change in him.
It must have been the near-death experience...
He must have realized, when he woke up and remembered nearly losing his life to save her, that he just didn't feel anything strongly enough to risk his life for her.
Holding back a sob, Hermione buried her head in her arms and cried.
Later that day Severus was well enough to leave the Hospital Wing. He went straight to the Headmaster's office, determined to go through with his decision. Sitting down opposite the Headmaster, he shortly told him his intentions.
Pausing to see the reaction of the older man sitting on the other side of the desk, Severus wasn't surprised to see sadness on the Headmaster's face. A moment passed before the Headmaster said: "I have no way of stopping you., Severus, but are you really certain you want to do this?".
"I am quite certain, Albus.".
"Very well, then. I see no other choice than to accept.", the Headmaster said.
Getting up from his chair, Severus nodded curtly and strode out of the room. Pausing in the doorway, he turned back and said, his voice suddenly a bit unsure: "Thank you Albus, for everything you've ever done for me.".
Not waiting for an answer, Severus hurried from the room, suddenly desperate to get away from the mixture of hurt and confusion on Albus' face.
Having dried her eyes, Hermione walked out of the courtyard and headed toward her rooms. She didn't knowif they would be accessible to her since she wasn't officially a student any longer, but had decided to give it a try.
She was hoping to avoid running into anyone else, but felt far too tired to actually worry about it. Still deep in thought she barely noticed when someone called after her, and it wasn't until a particularly yell broke the silence around her that she noticed Harry running after her, trying to catch up.
"Hermione, I have great news!", he panted as he skidded to a halt beside her. "Snape's alive, he's in the Hospital Wing right now-".
"I know.". Hermione smiled at Harry, unable to keep an unexpected bitterness out of her voice. Trying to ignore the rather confused look on the face of her friend, Hermione turned away from him and asked, her voice slightly strained: "I'd really like a bit of sleep, Harry, could this wait until later?".
"Hermione, what's wrong?". Harry's voice had turned from exceedingly happy to deeply concerned, and Hermione felt unable to lie to her friend. "I went to see him.. He was.. He acted as though nothing had ever happened.".
Looking concernedly at his friend, Harry asked: "Let's go into your rooms and talk this over.". Smiling tiredly at her friend, Hermione found that the idea of confiding her confusion in Harry didn't feel as wrong as she would have thought, and she followed him into the rooms.
Severus looked around his quarters again. He was certain that he had packed everything he would need in the immediate future, and he was planning on returning later to pack the last things anyway. Sighing deeply, he pulled out his wand and reduced his trunk so that it would fit inside his pocket, and picked up the cage with Larissa.
He pretended he didn't notice the wondering looks he received from the few of his colleagues he passed on his way to the Entrance Hall, keeping his gaze firmly in front of him. Walking down the stairs, he almost paused and looked back. Forcing himself to go on, he continued down the stairs.
A few feet away from the gates he heard an angry shout from behind him and he turned, surprised, when he saw Harry Potter running toward him. Despite feeling pretty certain that he wasn't going to like what ever it was potter had to say to him, he none the less stopped.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Snape?", the younger man shouted as soon as he was within hearing distance. "Dumbledore says you've quite your job and that you're going away?".
Surprised at how fast the news had spread, Severus was momentarily taken aback. Then, rearranging his features into the usual scowl, he glared down Potter. "What are you talking about, Potter?", he sneered. Undaunted, the younger man came to a stop in front of his former Professor and snarled: "You know damn well what I'm talking about -what do you think you're doing treating Hermione like that?".
How dare he -he already has her, how dare he-
Again taken by surprise, Severus stared at his former student. "Potter.. You better watch how you're talking to me.". Clenching his teeth together, Severus fought hard against the wave of fury welling up inside him. "I know very well what the nature of the feelings between yourself and Ms Granger are, and I will not stand here and listen to your shouting futile accusations at me.".
With a last scathing look at the young man before him, Severus turned around and walked out of the Hogwarts grounds, certain that he would never set foot not it again and completely ignoring Potter's surprised shout from behind him.
Feeling rather better after having talked to Harry, Hermione went down to the Great Hall; hoping dinner would still be on the table. Luckily it still was, and she sat down at the Gryffindor table, feeling a bit silly since she wasn't actually a student of the house any longer, but not knowing where else to sit. The Great Hall was virtually empty, save for the Hufflepuff ghost of the Fat Friar
Halfway through her meal, the doors of the Great Hall burst open, and Harry stormed into the Hall. "Come with me, now-", he said, dragging her to her feet and ignoring her protests. "Harry, what on earth is going on -where are taking me?.
Ignoring her completely, Harry dragged her with him out of the Great Hall, the fat Friar staring after them and Hermione still protesting. He hauled her down the stairs, mumbling: "You'll see, I wont let that idiot ruing everything because of that..", seemingly oblivious to Hermione's confusion.
Hurrying through the gates of Hogwarts, Hermione gave up on protesting and let herself be dragged along, planning on hitting Harry hard on the head as soon as he stopped, and then asking him what on earth he was thinking. Grumbling this to herself, she saw the village of Hogsmeade pass by in somewhat of a blur as they hurried along.
Coming to a halt at last, Hermione pulled her arm out of Harry's grasp and made to hit him, when he grasped her by the wrist and turned her around. Staring ahead of her Hermione couldn't hold back a gasp as she realized that they were standing at the train platform, and that Severus was standing a few feet from them with a trunk, staring at them.
"Severus.. What are you doing?", she asked before she could stop herself, completely taken aback at seeing him there, apparently waiting for the train. He stared at her for a few seconds, and then visibly pulled himself together, answering in the same cold voice he had used earlier in the Hospital Wing. "I am waiting for the train, Ms. Granger.".
"Tell him what you feel about me, Hermione.", Harry suddenly cut in from behind her. Turning around and frowning at her friend, Hermione feebly mumbled: "Harry, what..". "Tell him if you love me as a friend or as something more, Hermione, I want him to know.". He was staring past her, his eyes fixed on Severus.
Still not understanding, Hermione asked: "But, why..? What's this about..?".
"He thinks that we're going out, Hermione, that's why he's leaving. That's why he's being such an ass to you.", Harry shouted, his angry voice reverberating across the train platform. Turning back to Severus, Hermione could only stare at him. It suddenly made sense, it all made sense. If he thought she was with someone else.
"Is that true, Severus?", she asked, her voice quiet. Severus simply stared at her, his black eyes completely unrevealing. After a long pause, he asked, his voice as quiet as hers: "Well? What are your feelings for Potter?". His voice was completely unreadable.
Suddenly not able to hold back the relief that welled in her chest, Hermione started laughing. Severus' eyes closed for a second, apparently seeing this as a confirmation of his fears, but before he could open them again, Hermione had closed the distance between them and flung her arms around him.
"You silly man," she mumbled as she held on to him, ignoring the fact that he had tensed as soon as she had touched him, "how on earth could you think that there's anything more than friendship between me and Harry? He's not the one I want, Severus, you are..".
Slowly Severus relaxed, and let his arms slide around her waist. His voice still unreadable, he asked: "Are you sure, Hermione?". Pulling back slightly, Hermione smiled up at him and said: "I am completely sure, Severus.".
He enveloped her in his arms again, and for the first time in a long while, Hermione finally felt like something had gone right.
THE END.