None of these characters belong to me, they belong to Meg Cabot and Disney. Thanks for your lovely reviews, they made writing that last chapter a hell of a lot easier and I'm sorry if I made y'all cry. You're such a cool crew! Lol.

A month later, as Clarisse boarded Genovia 1 to san Francisco, she felt sick. Her son was dead, buried under dank earth and yet all she could do was go to get his daughter, instead of doing what any normal mother would do - grieve for her son. Instead she appeared her usual self, untouched by her baby's death, unaffected by the horrible press coverage she'd been getting. Damn parliament, damn the monarchy - all she wanted to do was disappear and she knew that if it hadn't been for Joseph - she probably would have.

She hadn't seen Amelia for 15 years, how was she going to deal with this. The apprehension was building up so quickly, she felt the need to scream. The sleeping pills, the Prozac, the narcotics that the physician had prescribed pumped their way roughly through her body. Making her feel as if her feet would never touch the ground. She could still smell his blood on Joseph every time she struggled to breath fresh air, see his cold body lying on the metal table. That wasn't her son, that had never been her son. Her son had been bubbly, energetic, young. He did not deserve to be dead - but he was and how much it tortured her.

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Joseph watched as she sat down on one of the leather seats after she pulled back the privacy screen, her black dress clinging to her notably thinner frame. Her face was gaunt and pale and he knew whatever the doctor had given her wasn't working. It felt strange to be in such a close, private proximity and not having her even dare to steal an adoring glance at him.

Clarisse knew he was watching her and god all she wanted to do was drive herself into his arms and never leave but decorum, primness and honour would cease letting her ever do that. She risked a glance at him, wishing he would come and wrap his arms around her and reassure her in only the way he could.

Everything had always been like this, complicated, difficult, heart braking. She refused to break under the strain of what she had put herself through. She felt numb, her ability to feel emotion slowly draining from her.

The people who busied themselves around her, catering for her mundane whims and needs seemed immaterial to her now. She demanded little of them, if nothing at all.

Joseph knew Clarisse was slowly losing grip on a will to live that had never quite existed, he only prayed that meeting Amelia would bring her back, back to him. When was the last time they had spoken abut things other than security? She had excommunicated herself from him in a bid to stop feeling anything. She was becoming so unbelievably erratic, not drinking, not eating, not sleeping.

"Joseph…", she suddenly whispered. He lifted his head quickly, responding to her hollow whisper from the back of the plane where he was seated. He smiled at her gently, studying her face intently. Her eyes were eerily empty, startling him. Her red lipstick along with her white skin made her look utterly morbid.

"your majesty?", he questioned, standing up before he lost his chance to help her in what ever way he could.

"please Joseph…..", she emitted weakly, looking at the empty seat beside her, "I need-". she faltered, looking down at her clasped hands in her lap. He took her invitation greatly, and sitting down he reached over to her .She hesitated for a moment as he offered his hand, but she knew she needed his soothing touch, his bewilderingly relaxing contact.

"what do you need?", he questioned lovingly, not braking eye contact.

"I just want you beside me", she admitted timidly. He smiled understandingly.

"I always will be beside you, Clarisse", he whispered.

"don't you get tired, Joseph? Tired of me", she questioned insecurely.

"no", he said quickly in a desperate attempt to cast her fears aside.

They sat in a painful silence for a long while, his warm hand wrapped tightly round her cold one their only means of communication.

"god, Joseph I feel empty", she said. Her voice was raspy and dark, " I'm sorry for being distant with you, but how can I -". she trailed off, tears spilling down her face.

Joseph couldn't watch her like this anymore and not pull her into his arms. Not caring who was watching, he gently guided her into his arms. She accepted his gesture with little reluctance.

"oh Joseph", she sobbed gently, "I'm not coping with this".

"Clarisse, how can you expect to cope. You've just lost your son, stop beating yourself up. It's understandable", he whispered, running his fingers through her hair. The simple gesture made her feel weak, his words making her feel more secure.

"I've never felt so out of control", she mumbled, gripping him tighter. He knew that this was helping her, and he was sure that if she hadn't done this - she might have not been able to cope at all.

He just sat, mumbling comforting sounds in her ear a she cried painfully - letting go just for a while. She raised her tear stained, sticky face to look at him. She traced her fingers gently over his features, taking in his peacefulness that seemed to calm her.

"thank you", she whispered, almost inaudibly.

"Clarisse….", he smiled, " there's no need. I love you". her lips gently curled into what he hoped was a smile.

"I love you", she whispered, kissing his cheek, his forehead, his brow. Joseph nodded mutely. He risked a lean forward, brushing his lips against hers in a burning but almost imperceptible kiss. She slumped against him and tilted her lips towards him, suddenly feeling an old part of herself coming back. Her body felt deftly alive as it once had, seemingly so long ago. His mouth on hers felt like oxygen, something she couldn't believe she deprived herself of for over a month.

Joseph felt hazy as he felt her come alive in his arms, her body reacting to him. He didn't realise how much she needed him. She had always seemed so independent, so self assured.

"Joseph…..", she whispered, pulling back. She felt as if she needed to say something, then realising words weren't important, contented herself by staring into his wonderful eyes.

"shhh", he said softly, guiding her head towards his shoulder. She rested gratefully, suddenly feeling exhausted. Her weeks of endless insomnia finally catching up on her.

"forgive me", she whispered, " if I fall asleep on you". her eyes closed gently, sleep invading her body. He smiled for the first time in weeks as she fell asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. He knew it wasn't alright right away, he knew it would take a long time to get the old Clarisse back and even then, it wouldn't be the same.

Ohhhh, hope you liked. Now we're going to meet Mia!

Please R&R.

Yours,

M