Chapter 2, Gandalf is very, very, very late!

Disclaimer: sings to the tune of 'she's to fat for me' I don't have it, Tolkien has it, it's too opaque for me! (Oh, and all the other stuff I will include, I don't own those either.

To Lahz: Here's the disclaimer.

To Syen: Here's your update at last.

To Nozomuryu: Sorry I didn't update so long! Can everyone please tell me how to spell the names? Sniffle. I do not know how!

To Nota Lone: Hi, here's chapter 2.

To Mrsblond1503: Ok, I continued. XD

To L-X-R: Have you seen my brain?

To Kiana who is now Syen: Hi B!

Frodo was waiting for Gandalf, who was extremely late. In fact, Gandalf was five hours late. But Frodo was patient.

"Arrrrrgggggg! When will that dirty, rotten, jerk get here!"

I said, 'But Frodo was patient!'

"Hey! You want a saint, go get Valjean."

Arg! Ok, well, we wasn't patient, but he still waited. He waited and waited. Then he waited some more. Then he waited longer. He waited and waited...

...and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited.

Then he waited again.

Finally the wizard approached. He was late.

"You're late!" Frodo exclaimed.

"A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins (note how I say your name so that the audience knows who you are,) nor is he early, nor is he seemingly early and really late, or is he seemingly late and really early, nor is a right on time but seemingly early, nor is he seemingly right on time and actually late. He isn't even an eeny bitsy late! He arrives precisely when he means to. (Note how I speak in the third person to make myself look wise.)"

"Oh Galdalf! It's wonderful to see you again!" Frodo gave the wizard a hug and picked his pockets.

"Gah! Too much love!" Gandalf cried.

"Uncle Bilbo is up to something at his birthday –again!" Frodo tattled.

"Yeah, so?"

"Sooooo, I wanna be involved." Frodo stated.

"You're too young." Gandalf replied.

"I'm thirty!" Frodo protested.

"In twenty years you'll be fifty."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, just a ring of power. That'll come in later."

"And..." Frodo pressed.

"So what I..." Gandalf began, but was cut off when a hobbit cut him off in traffic, "Hey buddy! You shall not pass!"

"Oh, look!" some cute little hobbit children giggled, "It's Gandalf!" Then they began to chant: "Entertain us! Entertain us! Entertain us! Entertain us! Entertain us! Entertain us!"

Gandalf let some firework butterflies loose.

"Ah, that was nice of you." Frodo said, "Last time you just spanked them all with your staff."

"It wasn't nice at all," Gandalf corrected, "Those butterflies will burn the bajinkers out of their fat little hands as soon as they touch them. And they stick, too, and keep on burning. On and on! Snicker-snicker."

"Ow! Ow! Mommy!" the hobbit children cried.

"Oh." Frodo said lamely.

"Now I must bother Bilbo." Gandalf said, "Adios."

"Bye." Frodo said, "Say, can I take the cart for a spin."

"Don't do any doughnuts in the parking lot of Pipeweeds R Us." Gandalf warned.

"Aw, man! How 'bout figure eights?"

"No." Gandalf stated.

Frodo left, and went out to do doughnuts and figure eights in the parking lot of Pipeweeds R Us.

Stay tuned for chapter 3. This is a nonprofit fic. Your donation of a review will go to support charities such as Dravers R US, The Royal Person of the Shiny Object, and Maidenhair's Profile. Thank you.