"Good grief, is he...naked?" asked Rodney in disbelief.
"Be afraid, lad, be very afraid," whispered Carson, standing next to Rodney at the gateroom rail.
Even Elizabeth had trouble keeping a straight face. Major Sheppard had taken an all-military team through the gate for practice in... military maneuvers. Rodney neither knew nor cared exactly what they'd been doing, as he had previously told John in his smug, annoying way. Five of them had marched through the gate not two hours earlier: Sheppard, Ford, Bates, Stackhouse, and Miller. All of them had been dressed in camouflage gear.
And here they all were now, naked as the day they were born.
After years of practice in diplomacy, Elizabeth was quickly able to school her face into a neutral expression. She cleared her throat. "Gentlemen..." Then she stopped, unable to hide her grin for any length of time. "I knew you only wanted to bring the... bare necessities, but this is taking things a little too far!"
Rodney didn't think it was possible, but John Sheppard actually growled. Combined with the truly terrifying state his hair was in, it gave the impression of a beast ready to explode into combat. Sheppard radiated danger and fury, promising an unpleasant fate to those that got in his way.
If anything, it made Elizabeth laugh even harder.
Rodney just had to ask. "Far be it from me to point out the blatantly obvious, but where are your clothes?"
Sheppard was somehow able to simultaneously answer and grit his teeth at the same time. "We made the mistake of accidently stumbling into an alien nudist colony. They were very insistent that we follow their customs."
Carson couldn't resist having a little fun himself. "Are ye all right? Were you... exposed... to anything unusual?"
Ford turned an interesting shade of red. Behind him, Stackhouse and Miller looked like they would prefer to be fighting the Wraith. Only Sergeant Bates was able to maintain his composure. "Ma'am, Dr. Beckett. Request permission to pick up something to wear prior to reporting for post-mission physicals?"
"Fine by me, just don't forget the debriefing in an hour." said Elizabeth. "Carson?"
"Aye. But it's a good thing ye asked for permission. Otherwise you'd get a real dressing down!"
None of the nude men wanted to respond to that, so they walked out of the room with as much dignity as they could muster. As they proceeded down the corridor, those in the gateroom could hear wolf whistles and shouts of "nice butt!"
Rodney smirked. "Takes 'going commando' to a whole new level."
FIN