Chapter 9

(A/N) Thanks for the reviews! Oh, and, last chapter, I forgot to thank Allison M. Potter for the correct spelling of "Lucius Malfoy". And to another reviewer, I didn't take the plot from pixiepoop's Elephant Love Medley, though it is a good one. Go read it sometime. And thanks for the "flowers and candy".

NOTE TO READERS: (and thanks to Nae, who pointed this out) I was reading this earlier, and yeah, I said that the Gryffindor Quidditch team consisted of all boys, but later I mentioned a girl being shoved off her broom by the Slytherins? Um, yeah. That was supposed to be "second year boy". Sorry about that.

Disclaimer: I own the plot.

*~*~*~*~*

In the Gryffindor Common room, the Marauders, Evelyn, and Bella were lounging around waiting for their two friends, James and Lily.

The subject of their conversation was quite interesting, though several first years stared at them strangely.

"Remmy, old pal, do you exist?" Sirius asked, lying on his back on the carpet in front of the fire.

"Of course I do," Remus frowned.

"Are you sure about that? Are you sure you're not just a mere figment of my imagination?" Sirius asked, playing with his wand.

"I'm sure," Remus answered unsurely.

"Of course he exists," Evelyn rolled her eyes. "We see him, don't we?"

"How do I know you're not all a figment of my imagination?"

"Because… well, you'd be crazy and delusional if we were just a figment of your imagination," Bella said, looking up from her magazine.

"Oh, but I could be, couldn't I? So that must mean you all don't exist!" Sirius flicked at the top of his wand, as sparks shot off.

"Sirius!" Evelyn walked over and hit him on the head with Bella's magazine. "Did that hurt?"

"Not really… yes. I think you gave me a paper cut."

"Then we're real," Evelyn said decidedly, walking back to the couch.

"Not necessarily," Sirius said slowly. "What if I imagined that?"

Just then, James walked in, looking extremely relieved to find his friends.

"Is she here?" he asked.

"Who?" Bella frowned.

"Evans. She's out for my blood, I tell you," James ran his fingers through his messy hair. "I stepped on her toes about four times on purpose, and now she's hunting me down."

"Lily wouldn't do that," Evelyn said.

"Okay, okay, I put a ten-pound charm on each foot so that it'd get her mad, but-"

"James, do you exist?" Sirius interrupted.

The others sighed in exasperation.

"Of course I exist," James frowned. "Have you lost it?"

"How can you be sure you exist?" Sirius asked, rolling onto his side and getting up.

"Well," James said thoughtfully, "If there's any chance that I don't exist, then, in all likelihood, there's a chance that you don't exist either."

"Hmm," Sirius said thoughtfully. "I hadn't thought of that. Thanks, Jamie!"

"Don't call me that," James said, and disappeared into the Boys' Dormitories.

Soon afterwards, Lily stormed in. "Where is Potter? I know he's in here."

"Um, he was just in here," Evelyn twisted her head in the direction of where he had left.

"Little twit, Madame Pomfrey had to-"

"Lily, do you exist?"

Lily gave Sirius a strange look. "Of course I do."

"Well, how can I be sure of that? How do I know you aren't a mere figment of my imagination?"

"Well, I must exist," Lily said. "Let's be realistic, here. I am conscious of my own identity. I was born, and I will die. I occupy a particular point in space, don't I? No other solid object can occupy the same point simultaneously. So, yes, I exist."

Finishing this statement, she stalked back to the Girls' Dormitories, muttering something like "finally gone to the loony bin, he has."

"Too smart for me," Sirius shook his head.

Professor McGonagall walked in, looking thoroughly disappointed at seeing Sirius there. "Black, where's Potter and Evans?"

"They're in their dorms, Professor," Bella supplied helpfully.

"Very well. Tell them there's another practice tomorrow," she sighed. "And ask Miss Evans if the swelling of her toes has gone down-"

"Professor McGonagall, do you exist?" Sirius asked.

*~*~*~*~*

"Mornin', Lily!" Hagrid greeted. "Haven' seen yeh in a while."

"I was busy," Lily shrugged, putting her coat on the coat rack in the hut. "So, how are you?"

"Me, I'm fine. But Snuffy… He's not so fine."

Lily frowned. "And Snuffy is…?"

"Beginin' o' December, remember? You came o'er, an' I showed yeh Snuffy, 'cept he was in a crate."

"Oh… that," Lily nodded, hoping her lack of enthusiasm didn't showed. "How is it?"

"Not an it, Lily, ne'er an it!" Hagrid corrected. "E's a he. Real nice li'l thing, really. Wan' ter take a peek?"

"Um, maybe some other time, Hagrid," Lily smiled. "I only have a nine minutes left of my break until I get back to the prefects' meeting."

"Oh. Well, at least try some o' my rock cake, then?" Hagrid offered her a plate of rock-hard, roundish things.

"Alright," Lily said with uncertainty, reaching for a rock cake and hastily shoving it down.

"Baked 'em meself, I did," Hagrid said proudly. "First person to try 'em, Lily. So, tell me how they taste."

Trying to unclamp her teeth, Lily swallowed quickly. "Wow. That's really… It's really something, Hagrid. I'm sure it'll have a big… effect on people when they try it."

"Really? Y' think so? I tried a batch meself, but they were a bit stale. Oh well. Perhaps that was jus' a bad batch out o' 'em all."

"Um… I really have to go now," Lily said, looking desperately for a way out of eating another rock cake.

"Break's up already?" Hagrid asked good-naturedly.

"I… think," Lily glanced at her watch. She still had nine minutes.

"Well, go on, now," Hagrid pushed her lightly.

*~*~*~*~*

"Closed position," McGonagall instructed.

"You step on my toes again, you will pay," Lily whispered, as James put his right hand under her left arm, and grasped her right hand with his left hand.

"What, didn't hex me enough yesterday?" James whispered back, as she stiffly placed her right hand on his left shoulder (a/n: confusing, I know.).

"Step, slide, step, slide," Professor McGonagall said, as her students did a simple box pattern. "Very good, Potter, Evans. McKinley! Shrewder! Have the decency to try to do this properly!"

"But, professor!" the fifth year girl complained, "He steps on my toes a lot! Last time I ended up in Madame Pomfrey's all night long!"

"Sounds familiar," Lily murmured, as James lead her in an arch turn.

"Most definitely," James replied, as she placed her right hand in his left, completing the turn. "Only, I do believe you said, 'Last time, Madame Pomfrey had to charm the nerves of my toes back in!' instead."

"She did," Lily said, recalling the first time she had waltzed with James Potter. It had ended in several other pairs on the ground, as they had knocked a few others down.

*~*~*~*~*

"Lily! Darling!"

Lily turned from her seat at the Gryffindor lunch table to see Gilderoy Lockhart. "Gilderoy," she greeted politely, though the smile was rather strained. "How are you?"

"Wonderful! And you?"

Still wearing the strained smile, she replied, "I am many things, but 'wonderful' is not one of them, at this moment."

"Oh. Feeling well? I hope you can still make it to the ball. Speaking of the ball, I took the liberty of choosing your attire!" Gilderoy smiled at her.

"Really?" Lily sipped her water. "Whatever for?"

"Because, well, what you always wear is out of style. Too classic."

Next to her, James snorted into his soup. "Out of style?" he laughed. "I never thought of that one, Lockhart, thanks a bunch."

"Potter, shut it. Go on, Gilderoy. I'm intrigued," Lily smiled at Gilderoy, as he pulled up a chair.

"Well, I decided to pick out something for you to wear," Gilderoy said. "You'll love it."

Overhearing this, Sirius joined James in his silent laughter.

*~*~*~*~*

Lily Evans did not like to be told what to wear.

But was she going to give James Potter the satisfaction of knowing that? No, of course not.

Looking up from her Charms essay, she saw Gilderoy walking in.

"Lily! I came here to drop off your dress!"

"How did you get past the portrait hole?" Lily asked, mildly surprised.

"The Head Boy was kind enough to let me in. He has a message for you, by the way," Gilderoy handed her a piece of paper and waited impatiently for her to read it.

'Evans-

We all know you can't keep your hands off Gilderoy Lockhart-"darling", he calls you. Perhaps you call him sweetums? I gave him this entire week's password; there's no escape.

-Prongs'

"Are you done?" Gilderoy asked approximately a second after giving the note to her. Not waiting for an answer, he continued, "Good. I brought you the dress. You'll really stand out; it's supposed to be the latest fashion in Italy."

"I'm sure…" Lily took the dress away from the annoying Hufflepuff.

"We'll be a vision, darling," he said, climbing out.

"Potter is dead," she said quietly, shredding the note to pieces.

*~*~*~*~*

Lily glared at the dress.

Never, in her seventeen years, had she believed it possible to find something more foul than Petunia's face. Even James Potter's didn't come near the displeasure of seeing her sister. Or Severus Snape. Or Lucius Malfoy. Or the Slytherin's professor, Professor Donohue. But… Gilderoy Lockhart and his hideous dress were coming in close second. Petunia had competition.

The dress itself was bad enough, as Lily saw it.

It was a dark, velvety green, a Slytherin color. That was one thing. It fanned out in the back, like a peacock's tail. That was another thing. Despite her green eyes, it didn't work well at all. Oh, yes, and the ridiculous layers of fabric, not to mention the collar which faintly reminded her of something out of a muggle film she had seen on… Dracula.

"Hi, Lily!"

"Ergh! What is that?" Lily's fashion conscious friends, Evelyn and Bella appeared in the dorm room, staring in horror at the dress she was holding up.

"This," Lily said grimly, "is what Gilderoy Lockhart expects me to wear at the Ball."

"Uh, no, dear," Bella said, grabbing the dress. "What is this? Four… five… six layers of green satin underneath?"

"Donate it to the Slytherins," Evelyn tossed the dress onto the bed. "Perhaps they could use some drapes. Well, as you aren't wearing that, what are you wearing?"

"I didn't decide yet," Lily shrugged. "It's not really that important, is it?"

"Not- not- not important? Oh, Lily, the sight of that dress really has affected your mind!" Bella said faintly. "Of course it's important! It'll determine your fashion sense for the next one hundred, sixty-eight hours! Which, I might add, has very much to do with your popularity."

Lily rolled her eyes and tuned her friends out as they launched into a lecture on the art of hair and cosmetics.

*~*~*~*~*

"James, are you insane? Just because you want to use Lockhart as a device of torture towards Lily, there is no reason for us to suffer with his presence also!" Sirius complained.

"Lily Lockhart," James shruddered. "Scary thought, isn't it? Anyway, I highly doubt you'd have to deal with him for long."

They were inside the Boys' Dormitories, discussing James' latest method of torture against Lily Evans. Sirius was against the whole idea, pointing out that the other Gryffindors would also have to deal with the "annoying prat", as he so colorfully put it. Remus didn't care much, and Peter agreed, as long as Gilderoy brought Lily chocolates that he could have.

"And why is that, I ask?" Sirius asked stubbornly, finishing up on his Transfiguration homework.

"Because the twit is just asking to be slapped by telling her what to wear. Evans doesn't appreciate orders given for no apparent reasons, I've noticed," James shrugged. "And until she kicks him out, we get quite a show… not to mention full taunting rights."

Sirius looked doubtful. "It better be worth it, James," he said. "Last time I was his potions partner, he kept on telling me he knew how to do it, and ended up blowing up my best cauldron."

*~*~*~*~*

With the Ball rapidly approaching in about a day and a half, frantic preparations were made, with the day before Christmas Eve a Hogsmeade day.

"We've all got our dresses, right?" Bella asked, consulting a small parchment and checking off "dresses."

Looking over her shoulder, Evelyn announced, "Next is our last-minute Christmas shopping."

"Right," Lily said. "I just need to get my sister's, Dumbledore's, and… Sirius', Peter's, and Remus'."

"What, no James?" Evelyn teased.

"Actually, I found his first," Lily murmured, walking into a shop.

*~*~*~*~*

"…Evelyn, Bella, and… Hagrid's," James read off his list.

Many girls tried to peek at his list of people receiving gifts from him that year, as his gifts tended to be more expensive and extravagant than anyone else's. Any girl would give away ten years' worth of spending money just to be on the list. His girlfriend of the week usually made it to the list, so girls tried extremely hard to chase after James during the holiday season.

"Hagrid's?" Sirius frowned.

"Yeah. He's been sending me something every year, and it'd be impolite not to," James said. "It wouldn't look to good if I didn't, would it?"

Of course. Hadn't his father taught him everything there was to know about receiving and exchanging gifts? Of the proper gifts for important acquaintances, for close friends, for important acquaintances whom he disliked, and the proper way to write a thank-you note to every one of them, each slightly different so that the reader felt as if it had been more personal? James disliked his father's methods, but he complied, as Mr. Potter usually visited him around Christmas break, to check that his son was using his Christmas gift money wisely, and not buying the wrong sort of gifts.

"I notice one person's missing on your list," Remus noted. "Where's Lily's gift?"

"Wrapped and ready to go," James answered, much to the surprise of his friends.

*~*~*~*~*

(A/N) Not that long, not that great. Oh, well. I hope there weren't any mistakes in that. Anyway, please review! The Christmas Ball is coming in the second chapter after this, I think. The next chapter should be up within the next week.

To Come: Gift-wrapping, Gilderoy, and Guests.