Out : This one-shot contains possible spoilers for the end of the game (or other parts of the game for that matter) Please refrain from reading unless you have played Kingdom Hearts 1 or don't mind possible spoilers. Thank You and I hope you enjoy my fic...

Onee-chan's Onee : Damn Ansem...Riku! Get Your Butt Back Outta That Door! NOW!

Out : Shh! Onee-chan! You'll give it awa-

Onee-chan's Onee : Like they don't know already! -tear-

Out : -smiles slightly- -whispers- Riku was her favorite character. She and Onee-chan were arguing over whether or not he was evil...

Onee-chan's Onee : Just start the dang story...

Onee-chan : -replaying the game from when she saved before fighting final battle-

I'm Sorry

Even when you want someone with all your heart, it doesn't mean there wont be mistakes. And it doesn't mean that you won't betray the one you love. There is no...happy ending.

You seemed so happy when we first met. So innocent, so sweet, so perfect in every way. I knew then and there that I wanted to be your friend. So...I did. I became your best friend. No one else could come close. No one picked on you, because they'd have to answer to me.

I loved when you were scared, not for the fact that you were scared...but because you would always come to me at those times. When you were upset, I was your comfort. When you were tired, I was your ride home. When you needed it, I was your help.

Then she came. Everything changed. It wasn't just me and you anymore. And though her sudden appearance surprised and inspired me...It angered me. You took to her so well. I guess I was overreacting though. You could take well to the lowest dirt bag in the universe. But...it seemed you liked her more than me now...

You and I spent more and more time with her. And your affections for her seemed to grow. Everything had been perfect until she showed up. Why? Why did she appear? Was the world out to get me? I felt myself wanting. Wanting the power, the ability, to make her disappear.

I wanted you all to myself. I wanted to leave the island with you. But by the time the idea was discussed, she was already wedged in too deep. I couldn't make her stay behind. I saw how thrilled you were at the idea, even if not as much as she was. The idea was fascinating to you.

I loved making you smile. Your smiles were my world, but you never knew. You never knew that...if you were to leave...to disappear...how I would die. I loved your smile. The way your hair was cut in an odd way and blew in the wind. I loved the way you would stumble if you ran too much or tripped over the smallest things.

I loved the way you loved life. The way you wore your clothes slightly baggy, so you were comfortable. The way you never gave up, no matter what wall you came up against. Then, I saw that you liked her more than me. And I knew...I knew...that it'd take a miracle for you to like me like that...Your smiles were given more often to her. Her happiness was the world to you...like yours was to me...

When the island disappeared, when the darkness came. I had already accepted that the darkness in my heart came from my deprivation. I gladly accepted another way to leave that place...without her. But, you wanted to bring her with us. I was glad to let you have your way, as long as you were happy.

But it all went wrong! It wasn't supposed to happen like it did! You were supposed to take my hand, like you always used to. But...I saw...you were afraid of me. Afraid of me. And that was it. My eyes became cold, like my heart became guarded. I became a puppet. A puppet in a maniac's game.

All the times I saw you...the barriers began to come down. I knew I had to get stronger, or let you brake me again. I was broken the day you showed your fear of me. I'd be broken again if you got to close. Even with my trying, I couldn't guard myself when you came into view.

Everyday, I would reach out. Reach out to you, back on the island, and hope that...this time...you'd take my hand. But, you never did. It took all I had to keep my face straight, whenever you were near me.

The day they found Kairi, I saw. I saw my chance to fix my walls. If you saw her...if you chose...I'd be alright. But, when you did see her...you chose, and you chose her...For a moment, I couldn't breathe. Why?

So I kept you from her. My heart began to freeze like my eyes. I started to lose myself completely to the darkness I'd surrounded myself in. When we fought, it became a welcome distraction from my boredom. I became a monster.

But I became an actual monster...the day I let him control me. He used me. He used me! I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand him! I couldn't stand me! I couldn't stand anything! And I knew...it was all my fault.

I knew why you were afraid of me, so long ago now it seems...You weren't afraid of me, the Riku you knew. You were afraid of me, the Riku I was becoming...I never saw the signs, I was blind. And I'm sorry.

Once I was taken over, I seemed to see things so clearly. I became...me again. I dreamt of the days on Destiny Islands. I wanted nothing more than to be back there with you. But I could hardly care less for her. And he taunted me. He played mind games with me. Turning my dreams to nightmares where I stabbed you in the back...and in truth, that was probably my reality.

I looked back and saw every time we'd met since the Isles. Every time you saw me, on their side, every moment I was against you. And I saw the hurt. I saw the sadness in your eyes. And I finally understood. You've always been reaching for me too...

Your eyes, silently pleading with me. Asking me why.

'Why did you betray me?'

'Why are we fighting this way?'

'Why do you hate me?'

I don't! I don't hate you! I could never hate you! Please! Please forgive me! I give you the choice! Let me live...or kill me. I don't care anymore! Because I know I hurt you...More than once...

When he took full control, I could see it all. I saw the way you fought, and when he nearly beat you. As he was walking towards you, in my body...I hated myself more than ever! I called to you. I told you to run, but you didn't hear me.

I think. Since it was learned that Kairi was inside of you, that she was the one to save you that time. And...it hurt...I could no longer be your comfort...

You beat me, well...him. But you won! I was so glad! You survived! But, he didn't leave. That bastard was still there and I still had no control. I had to sit back, in this invisible, new me...and watch you give your life for her...

It broke my heart. For more reasons than one...You gave your life, you were gone. And it was basically all...my...fault...But, you hadn't given your life for me. You sacrificed your life, you heart, for her...I cried.

All I could do now for you...was save the one you loved...if it was the last thing I did. And somewhere in my tainted heart, I wished it was the last thing I did. I wanted to die. They escaped, and he was furious. But I didn't care...My sunshine, my morning light, my breath of life, my beauty...was gone...

I don't remember how now, but he heard you were alive. And, through my joy, I was depressed. To learn that it was her...her...who saved you. Why? Why was it all about her now? I wanted to save you, I wanted to be near you...Always...

I was so happy when I saw you, on the other side of the door. But I knew we could never be together. Because she existed. I told you to protect her because otherwise...I could never fulfill my goal to protect the one you loved. I really wanted to cry when I told you to close the door. I was to be forever barred from what I desire most. So let me...be your comfort...one last time...I smile.

You promised me, with your eyes, that you would never give up. With the words you told him you assured me you would never give up. Please, don't let me down, like I let you down...

And I'm sorry. I know an apology is useless and heals none of the damage I've created. I've become a murderer...I can never again look you in the eye. Your beautiful...peaceful...yet pain filled...clear blue eyes.

I'm sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen. I'm really sorry. I never meant for it to get this bad. I'm sorry for not realizing it sooner. I'm sorry for being so arrogant, self-centered...selfish. I never...ever wanted to hurt you the way I did.

My sorrow will never correct what I have done. I realize now, I broke myself. I wanted so bad to not be broken by you that I didn't notice...I'd broken myself a long time ago...The moment I betrayed you I was broken beyond repair. Please...Your eyes...they speak volumes...

'I don't blame you.'

'Thank you for everything.'

'It's alright'

Why? Even through the sadness, that's what I see. I don't deserve your forgiveness yet, and still I have to ask again.

Please...I beg you...As the door of finality closes between us...As we are cut off from one another for an almost eternity...As I gaze at your beautiful face one last time...I must plead. I must beg, plead, pray, and hope. Please...

Forgive me...Sora...

I love you...