It was now several weeks since Michael Beauchamp made his proposal to his registrar. As she lay in her own bed in her silent home, the dreams she had experienced the past few weeks had reoccurred every night. She knew that it signalled for the right thing, deep down in her heart. Her only doubt would be the reaction of her fellow colleagues. The people she treated day in, day out. What would they think to a registrar having a personal relationship with someone, somewhat older and also in much higher, more prestigious position than her? The same scene flooded her mind once again, causing her mind to think deeply about it. Looking up at the ceiling, her eyes slowly closed themselves, for it was still in the early hours of Friday morning. Laying there motionless, she drifted off into a light slumber, all her thoughts floating around her, convincing herself that they weren't real at all.
"I have a proposition for you…" were his exact words, still holding her hands in his, his eyes deeply locked in contact with hers.
"Proposition? And what exactly would that be?" she asked with intrigue, but yet the slightest part of her flirtatious personality shining through. She tucked a stray strand of her brunette locks behind her ear, whilst anticipating an explanation from him. The tension in the air around them could be felt, as the wait for his answer became more prolonged.
He sat back against the back of the sofa, his arms resting themselves against the top. She moved closer to him again, letting his arm reach around her shoulders, stroking her arm on the opposite side. "Well…seeing as we've been together in our own little private world for sometime…I was going to suggest we could take things one step further…" he finally announced. As the words reached her mind, she tried to stop herself from jumping to the different conclusions possible, though she did deep down want to know what on earth he was suggesting. She didn't reply, completely unsure of what to say, what to ask, how to react. Her face showed a nothing, but a face of blank expression. He searched the contours of her face, desperate to know what she thought of his idea, but so far he was unsuccessful. He reached up to stroke her cheek, but she turned her face away. His face of pure eagerness faded away, curious to know why she had suddenly turned so reluctant. "Connie?" the simple call from him, but yet she still didn't respond. "Talk to me…tell me what you think…" he continued, trying to make her eyes stare into his.
She wouldn't allow any of it. She closed her eyes, shutting out any imagery from the world around her. "Michael…" she paused for a moment, before facing her fears and turning her face slightly to look at him. He saw her face was full of uncertainty, worry with a flood of thoughts. "…I don't believe this is possible. I can't…" The words struggling to spill out of her, her voice fading away, bottling itself from revealing anymore of her true feelings. Her eyes trailed off his face and onto the floor, now full of thoughts about the future, where they would both be in possibly a year's time. She couldn't bear to think anymore. Burying her head in her hands, he watched her cautiously, still confused.
"What can't you do? Miss Seville, you're the best registrar I've ever had. There's nothing you can't do, you've proved that to me."
"This…I can't face it being in the open…"
"What do you mean? Me and you?"
"What else?" was her final reply, pulling herself up. She glanced over at him, his face now rather distraught at her reaction. "I'm sorry…I need some time to think." And with that she reached out for her clothes that were in a pile not far away from where they sat and began to dress herself, him watching her with a lack of satisfaction. He wanted to know more. More of how she felt, and why she felt this way, but he realised that he couldn't push the truth out of her, it would take a substantial amount of time. Once she had finally slipped on her heels, she stood up, straightening out her skirt, before picking up her back and heading towards the door. She unlocked the door, turning back to face him. "I'll see you tomorrow."
She left the office. Heading out into the car park, she took in a deep breath of fresh air, refreshing her mind and soul. Unlocking the car, she stepped into the driver's seat, closing the door behind her. She remained sitting there for a few long seconds, thinking about what had just happened, but she couldn't make any sense of it. Going round in circles, never ending consequences…
Her eyes jolted open. Startling herself with yet another mere flashback of the event which had happened only a few weeks ago. As her senses settled back into the real surroundings, Connie sat herself up, watching the rays of sunlight peer through the small parting of the curtains. Her eyes twitched at the intensity of the pleasant weather to her waking eyes. Her face absorbed the warmth of the sun outside. She felt a lump pass up her throat slowly. A peculiar feeling, somewhat strange. It was something she rarely experienced. When she finally realised what the problem was, a hand swiftly covered her mouth, pressing firmly against her lips as she dashed quickly out of the bedroom, heading in the direction of the bathroom.
It was a few hours later, when she emerged in theatre, where her consultant had already begun the long list of operations. His eyes caught sight of her quickly scrubbing in, slipping into a gown, before rushing to the position opposite him. "Sorry for the delay." she apologised, her hands beginning to aid his with the current procedure. At first the whole theatre remained silent, as they both tried to aid the man that lay on the operating table. The unbearable silence. It had become a novelty since that eventful day several weeks back. And yet it still continued for the rest of the morning. He left after completing the bypass successfully, a feeling of guilt passed her as she watched him discard his surgical gown and throw it away. As she closed up their patient, she felt regret. Regret she said such a thing, regret that she doubted his judgement, regret for initially refusing his proposal.
The corridor up to Jenner. She caught sight of him at the end of the corridor, talking to one of the staff nurses, but she couldn't face him just yet. She needed to be sure of it first. Needing to be perfectly sure that the news she was to tell him was 100 correct, hoping that this would be the first step of bringing their relationship on track once more. She had missed his company, his reassurance of security, his amusing sense of humour. He made her feel wanted, filled an empty space in her heart and right now, it was only him in her life which lacked. Before he noticed her, she slipped into the nearest medical supplies room subtly, no one realising she had gone in there.
After his short chat with the nurse about a patient, he made his way to his office at the end of the busy corridor. Patients were being moved around following operations, trips to other departments and transfers to another ward. Striding across the ward, he approached his office, closing the door behind him and breathing a sigh of relief after a long, stressful morning. He too was still disappointed since that day, feeling rather let down, but then knowing she loved him. Despite this, he knew exactly what she was afraid of and he wanted to hear it from her. Every single word. He slumped into the chair at his desk, eyeing the quite extensive pile of forms to be signed and dated before the afternoon. Glancing around the desk for any sign of a decent pen, he reached out for one which resided by his computer screen. Beginning to repeat the same scrawl which represented his signature on each form, his mind was distracted to the edge of the desk, remembering the time when she was sat on it and his arms were cradling her gently, careful not to break anything so fragile. His head turned to his sofa in the corner, recalling the moment of sheer excitement and ecstasy, the most rewarding experience of both of their lives. Then remembering the doubt that he saw in her beautiful green eyes, the apologetic look, the tense atmosphere turning to disappointment. Trying to pull himself together, he continued to scrawl across the remaining forms, before hearing a solitary knock on his door. He paused. He looked up. He called.
Her petite yet curvaceous self slipped into the room, her face the plainest it had ever been. Her cheeks were no longer rosy, but pale and held back. Despite this, her immaculate posture remained. His eyes were glued to her, the first time in what seemed like eternity. She couldn't help but force a small reassuring smile at him. He returned the kind gesture, before breaking the never ending silence, "Take a seat Miss Seville". She understood his simple command and sat herself on the edge of the seat in front of his desk. Nerves got the better of her, as she waited for him to continue. Her fingers were tensely entwined with one another with worry. "What can I help you with?" he asked, with a hint of uncertainty. She let the silence develop again, the tension being sensed in the surroundings. Her fingers untangled themselves, sitting firmly on her thighs.
"I think we need to talk." was her reply, her voice near to nothing once more. It had to be said, she felt that they needed to discuss that evening's events, for it had been a long time. He nodded slightly, indicating for her to continue. "About that night…" she trailed off her words, unsure of what to say to explain herself. He closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them following his short pause of thought.
He leant forward towards her, now feeling a little doubtful, "Look, it was a misunderstanding…I shouldn't have put such an idea before you. It wasn't meant to pull us apart, I wanted us to be together…" he began to explain, feeling it was appropriate that he'd apologise for such a proposition.
"Do you still feel such a way anymore?" she asked almost immediately in return, with intrigue with his reply.
"Of course I do…what about you?" The questions seemed to keep being answers to the previous question, like a never ending battle, but it was constructive to both of them. They both had begun to discover more about their true feelings, which were slowly unravelling to one another.
"I've always wanted it. I've never stopped thinking about this…" Her eyes were now locked with his again, reacquainting them with his, beginning to know the hint of deep blue in his eyes again. Falling for him once more. He got up and approached where she was sitting. His arms found their way around her shoulders again, bringing her up to his level. The embrace was warm, her cheeks regaining their colour slowly, now that she was in his arms once more. "Are you sure about this?" he whispered into her ear. His arms began to caress hers, allowing her tense muscles to relax a little. She nodded gently, letting him acknowledge her choice. Holding her close to him, he kissed her hair softly. After a short time of rekindling their presence of one another, she pulled away slowly. Looking up at him, she stroked his face gently. "There's something I need to tell you." she announced, before reaching into the pocket of her trousers, pulling out a little white stick, indicating only one thing.