Heartache
Without anyone noticing, September 26 arrived and all of the girls were fussing in their dormitories for the upcoming trip to Hogsmede.
"Lily honey you look gorgeous!" squeaked Lavender in a very girlish way that made Ginny, who was putting on her jumper to roll her eyes.
"James will have a fit," said Hermione with a slight grin.
"Look who's talking Hermione, Ron will faint in the spot," teased Parvati. Hermione's face was scarlet from embarrassment.
"Yes, well, we better go down," said Ginny curtly. She led the girls down the stairs.
The boys were already waiting for them; James was standing near the girls' staircases, waiting for them to arrive, Ron was sitting on the sofa – fidgeting and Harry was chatting with Neville, Seamus and Dean who agreed to go with him to Hogsmede.
Harry looked up as the girls came and looked back to the floor, his face burning; I am a coward he mentally scolded himself. She looked gorgeous and Harry bit his lip in disappointment.
Just then, the other boys noticed the girls were in the common room: James was open mouthed. He looked at Lily; she was wearing a long and tight black shirt, and three quartered black pants. Her hair was up in a ponytail and her makeup was in light green shade.
Ron looked at Hermione in awe. He did not know how he never noticed her body curves. She looked stunning with her blow-dried hairstyle. She wore a black knee-long tight skirt and a tight brown shirt.
"Lily," James managed to wheeze "You look…amazing."
"Why thank you James. Shall we?" she said and he nodded and James offered her his arm.
They were so engrossed with themselves they didn't even notice the others were behind them.
When they arrived to Hogsmede, James took Lily to Honeydukes where he bought her the newest and best chocolate.
"You know, I thought no chocolate is better then the one on the chocolate frogs. Turns out I was wrong" said James.
Lily laughed "Chocolate frogs? It's so gross," she said and laughed at the horrified expression on James's face "But this chocolate is simply stunning" she nodded in agreement.
"Not as stunning as you," James said and mentally slapped himself for the lame pick-up line. Nevertheless, Lily blushed.
"Are you using lines with me Potter? You know, not all the girls fall for that," she said with an amused expression "In what hour did we say we meet the others?"
"Six. You have three more hours to suffer with me," he said jokingly and Lily pinched his arm playfully.
"If I thought it is going to be insufferable do you think I would have come?" she asked.
"You got me there. Wanna go to Zonkos?" James changes the subject - Lily rolled her eyes.
"You cannot live without your pranks and I don't want you dead anytime soon so lead the way," she said with her head hung in defeat. James shot her a million-gallon smile which made her knees go weak.
They spent the day walking between shops laughing and teasing each other and Lily had to admit she never had a better date.
They arrived to The Three Broomsticks five minutes late and saw that everybody was waiting for them impatiently.
"Nice of you to show up" bit Ron.
"Sorry," said Lily blushing; she was never late.
"What do you want to order dears?" asked Madam Rosemerta.
"Eleven Butterbeers please," said Harry, quickly counting.
After an hour or so, they were all in a good mood, laughing and joking with each other. Harry kept glancing at her but was jolted out of his sweet dream-land by a drawling voice behind him.
"So…Potter, enjoying your parents as long as you can? I suppose these are the best day of your life aren't they?" Harry didn't need to turn to recognise the voice.
"After all, in any other day people would die around you. So tell me Potter, how is your precious godfather these days. Oh wait, I forgot, your godfather is -"
Before Malfoy even had the chance to say anything else, nine wands were directed to him.
"Malfoy, we have nine D.A members here, if you don't want to turn out worse than a ferret you better move your ass away from here," said Ginny, her red hair framing her face, making her look wild and dangerous.
Dumbledore wanted to make DA an official school group, so now all of the students could join. Many members joined and to the delight of everyone, none from Slytherin did.
Malfoy looked taken aback and a bit frightened "You wait Potter, when the Dark Lord will hear your Mudblood mother and blood traitor father are here, he will make sure you will never be born," he said.
"Well, now I'm shaking Malfoy, go tell your master I'm challenging him to come and get me," Harry said, not a trace of fear in his voice and his emerald green eyes radiating with power.
Malfoy went rather quickly out of the Three Broomsticks, Leaving an awkward silence after him. No one admitted it, but they were all very happy they weren't Harry's enemies.
"What?" Harry asked as everybody looked at him.
"What's DA?" asked James.
"It was a secret organisation Harry, Ron and I established in our fifth year. We learn practical defence. Harry's the teacher," said Hermione and James whistled in surprise.
"What does DA stands for?" asked Lily in interest.
"Well, it was at first Defence Association but turned to be Dumbledore's Army," said Ginny with pride.
"Why Dumbledore's Army?" asked James in confusion.
"Because at the time, the ministry-" Harry snorted and Ron continued "and minister Fudge-"
But Hermione was interrupted by James "Minister Fudge? Cornelius Fudge? That pompous Hufflepuff sixth year?" he asked and Harry nodded in confirmation.
"Minister Fudge did not believe that you-know-who is back and they thought that Dumbledore is forming an army against the ministry so we decided to form a secret organization for those who wish to know how to fight against you-know-who," said Ron.
Harry had a sudden idea about the next lesson. "Hey, James why don't you and Lily join?" asked Harry.
"That would be great," said James and Lily at the same time and everybody laughed.
"Well, we better go back to school it's almost seven," said Hermione, checking her wrist watch carefully.
When the group reached the common room, James followed Lily to the girls' staircases.
"I had a great time today James thank you" Lily said, blushing a little at the closeness.
James smiled "You don't regret it than?"
"No. why should I regret it? I had a wonderful time" she said in confusion.
"Never mind. Goodnight Lily" he said.
"Goodnight James," Lily said and kissed him on the cheek "Thanks." she whispered and went to the dormitories. Leaving James slightly shocked but extremely happy.
A few weeks after Hogsmede, James and Lily were in the library, looking for information about you-know-who for a three-foot essay for Defence Against the Dark Arts.
Amy decided that for after they revised the basic defence they should do a little research about who the Dark Lord is and about his first downfall.
When Harry heard about what they should do the assignment he groaned quietly and Ron was giggling in a very unmanly like way.
After they wrote about whom you-know-who is, they still had a foot to write. James looked in a large volume of "Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts."
"Lily," he said in a croaked voice "Come look here" Lily began to read:
In 1979, Voldemort found out about a prophecy that had been made about him and a boy who would kill him. Voldemort knew only a small part of the prophecy, Voldemort realized that he must find and kill that child. Shortly afterwards, Harry Potter was born on July 31st to Lily and James Potter.
The Dark Lord searched frantically for the child to kill him after he found out that the boy answers the description of his destroyer, but the Potters were well hidden and he was unsuccessful. However, a spy close to the Potters betrayed them and, on October 31st, 1981, Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow, the residence of the Potters. He killed James and Lily Potter. Lily died attempting to protect her son, who was the next intended victim.
When Voldemort, the most powerful Dark Wizard ever, turned the curse that had killed so many witches and wizard on young Harry Potter, it rebounded upon Voldemort, ripping him from his body, and his powers gone.
"Prophesy?" asked Lily in confusion and shock.
"What do you think?" he asked looking in her eyes.
God I love her so much.
"What did you say Potter?" she said narrowing her eyes, THAT was not expected.
"I asked 'What do you think?'" he answered, taken aback from her sudden iciness.
"What did you say afterwards?" she snapped impatiently.
"I didn't say anything. Are you okay Lily?" he asked, concerned.
What is wrong with her?
"Nothing is wrong with me!" she practically yelled.
How did she know what I was thinking?
Lily's pupils widened Can I read his mind? her mind yelled. Lily, in panic ran out of the library towards professor Dumbledore's office.
She has got to get some answers right now.
"Uh…Sugar Quills" she tried the password breathlessly "No? uh…Sugar Plum? Chocolate Frogs? Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans? Exploding Bon-Bons? Droobles? Come on open up you stupid gargoyle! Pepper Imps? Fudge Flies?"
She said and the gargoyle jumped aside "Is this some kind of a pun?" she asked herself loudly.
"Yes indeed Ms Evans," Dumbledore said pleasantly and Lily jumped, she did not notice she was already in his office.
She sat on one of the comfortable armchairs and he offered her Lemon drop to which she refused politely.
"Is there a reason you came to talk to me?" he asked politely.
"Yeah. Professor, James and I were in the library doing something for Defence homework and suddenly I was able to read Potter's mind," she said looking into Dumbledore's eyes.
If she only knew how much she loved him back then.
"I do not love Potter!" she yelled in indignation and Dumbledore, although surprised - did not show it.
"I never said you do," he said calmly. Lily blushed "I am aware of your ability to read other people's mind. You discovered it after you graduated."
"Why?" she asked.
"Although I searched it for you a lot of times in the past, I'm afraid I do not have answers to that," he said.
"Okay." She said, "When does it happen?"
"All the time," Dumbledore said quietly and turned his eyes to Fawkes who was standing on his perch quietly.
Oh great, now he doesn't want to look at me anymore
"Uh…okay. I'll just go," she said turning to the door.
"Wait a moment Ms Evans. There are a few things we need to discuss," he said. Not waiting for an answer he continued.
"First, you must not tell anyone of your ability to read other peoples' mind. It may cause trouble." She nodded in understanding.
"Secondly, there are a few things in addition to this new ability."
Oh no, now what?
"You will have dreams every once in a while. Sometimes, you will be able to be inside other students' dreams and sometimes you will have premonitions."
"But professor, what if I see something really embarrassing?" she asked, horrified in the prospect of invading other people's dreams.
"Do not worry. You will see only dreams fate wants you to see."
"Fate? What do you mean fate?" she asked a little harsher than she meant.
"Fate. This is very similar to the Muggle theory about everything happens for a reason. You and Mr Potter were transferred here because of fate and fate will let you see only what he sees fatal. No pun intended," he said with a little chuckle at his own joke.
"What do you mean by he?" she asked even not slightly amused by the pun.
"Nobody knows how to refer to fate so we just refer it as 'he'" he said, "Now, I believe you have things to do and people to meet. Off you go," he said dismissively.
James was concerned. How did Lily know what he was thinking? She can't read minds can she? But his thoughts were interrupted by a rather bewildered Lily.
What the hell is wrong with her? But in the exact moment, Lily lifted her gaze to James and she was able to hear him.
"James I'm sorry about before," she started, not moving her eyes "I don't know what happened." She sounded hopeless.
"Don't worry, its okay," he said reassuringly.
NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! His mind screamed and Lily took a step back from the sudden noise in her head.
"Are you sure? I didn't mean to startle you." She squeaked.
NO! I'M NOT SURE!
"Yes I'm sure," he said and Lily found herself giggling at the inner debate in James's head. "What's so funny?" he asked.
Has she gone bonkers !
"No! I'm not gone bonkers!" she yelled before she could stop herself.
Now that's just creepy
Gee thanks she thought to herself So much for the love and caring Potter…
"I think I'll just go to sleep" she mumbled.
"But you'll miss dinner!" he said in concern.
"Didn't know you care Potter" she said rather snappishly.
Has she been listening to what I've been telling her for the last couple of years or is she just playing hard to get? He asked while rolling his eyes not noticing Lily's eyes narrowing with his thoughts.
"Fine, whatever, sleep tight" he said while going out the portrait, not waiting for an answer
"No this was a long day" she muttered and went to sleep.
DREAM
Everything was blur.
She heard a muffle talking and a sudden flash of red light followed by yells and a talking muffled voice
END DREAM
Lily woke up with a yelp. She realized she just saw either a premonition or a dream. A sudden yell from the boys dormitories startled her.
"Sirius! Sirius! We can still save him, help me Remus what are you doing? SIRIUS!"
Lily was panicked she now knew she had seen a dream.
"Shit! Can't Madam Pomfrey give his some Dreamless Sleep Potion or something? It's over a year now honestly!" Lily heard Parvati saying indignantly.
Hermione was whimpering quietly and the screams stopped. "Who is this Sirius anyway?" asked Lavender sleepily.
"Never you mind Lavender good night," said Hermione harshly and before tucking back into bed shot a fearful look at the tearstained face of Lily.
James woke up with a start. Someone was screaming near him.
"Ius- Sirius! We can still save him, help me Remus what are you doing? SIRIUS!"
James was bewildered; what the hell is wrong with Harry?
"Harry! Harry! Wake up mate! Come on mate wake up" yelled Ron in Harry's ear.
Harry suddenly bolted up sweaty and tearstained. All of the seventh year's boys were now near Harry's bed and he watched them while he was regaining his senses,
"Sorry guys." He said weakly, it was clearly visible that the tower was used to Harry's screams because no one came to check on him, which was odd because James was sure Harry's screams could wake up the dead.
Only after Harry relaxed, James's brain understood the information he got a few minuets earlier.
Sirius. Harry is reliving the moments all over again. Poor thing he said and without a thought, a muffled groan escaped his mouth.
He now faced three confused faces and two understanding ones. He quickly got back to bed.
Lily was having a bad morning. Last night's events left her eyes puffy and two black bags appeared under eyes.
All through breakfast, she heard James's thoughts no matter how hard she tried to stop it. She was too shocked and appalled from the loving thoughts he is having towards her that she didn't notice Malfoy running into her on her way to Defence class.
"Watch where you're going Mudblood" he snarled viciously.
Lily ignored him and walked to class where she found out she was late for class for the first time in her life.
During class, she was one of the last ones to do the Shielding Charm correctly, even though she was able to do it the second attempt in the DA meetings.
"Lily what's wrong with you?" said Hermione in worry after the class was over "You are not yourself since this morning."
"Oh, and you know me?" snapped Lily without thinking.
What's wrong?
"I'm sorry Hermione I don't know what's wrong with me," said Lily quietly. Very ashamed at herself.
"That's okay. James is worried about you though," she said and Lily's eyes clouded a bit.
"Why should I care about Potter?" she said harshly.
"You don't mean that," said Hermione quietly and Lily sighed.
"I know. Look, If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone? I don't want people to be afraid of me or something," she said in fear.
"Fine, I won't tell anyone. Let's go to our dorm, it's too loud in the common room."
Once in the dormitory, Lily began to twitch "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" said Hermione, sensing she is uncomfortable.
"Well, you see, Potter and I were working on the project for Defence yesterday and suddenly I heard…I heard…"
"You heard what?" inquired Hermione.
"I heard what he was thinking," she whispered. Hermione's eyes widened and she stuttered.
"L-Lily you have to go to Dumbledore!" yelped Hermione.
"I already did and he said I am able to do that and to see other people's dreams," said Lily "He said it was because fate wanted it to be like that." Lily blurted it all in one sentence, leaving Hermione bewildered.
Hermione sat in silence and thought. Lily however, was able to hear what she was thinking
She is able to see other peoples' dreams; wonder how she'll react to Harry's.
Wait a minuet.
She was up a few moments before Harry began screaming.
She saw his dream.
Hermione opened her mouth to ask Lily but Lily reacted before "That's what I thought too." She said quietly.
This is freaky.
"Tell me about it," muttered Lily and Hermione gasped.
"So…so…it's true."
"Of course it is. Can you tell me what exactly was in that dream?" she asked, Hermione's eyes clouded, and she lowered her head. "I only heard muffled voices and saw blurs."
"If I'm not mistaken, you saw Sirius die yesterday," she finally said. Lily sat in silence. She was afraid she would say it to her. "I suppose the dreams will become more focused in time."
Lily nodded. Days have gone by and Lily was getting used to hearing people thoughts. It was nighttimes and she was in another dream.
DREAM
Two figures in black robed were standing in front of her.
"What news have you got Lucius?" she heard herself ask, but it wasn't in her normal voice, it was in a cold high pitched voice.
"Master, my son brought an interesting news for me yesterday," said the figure called Lucius in a silky voice.
"What is it Malfoy?" she asked again in the cold voice.
"The parents of the Potter boy came from the past. They are seventeen," said Lucius with what Lily recognised as a bow.
"Is that so?" he asked "and how exactly did they come?"
"He does not know master."
"I see. Wormtail?" she said to the second figure.
"Yes my lord," she heard Peter's voice saying in fear.
"Go explore Hogwarts. I want to know everything possible about your little friends."
"Y-Yes M-Master" Peter stuttered.
"If you will come without valuable information the Cruciatus will look like kitten next to what you'll suffer." he said and laughed his horrible laughter.
END DREAM
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" someone screamed and Lily shot out of bed immediately and ran to the boys dormitories with Hermione.
They burst through the door and saw all of the seventh years boys gathered around Harry who was clutching his forehead.
"Voldemort – knows – Wormtail – explore" he said before passing out.
Lily immediately understood and James and Ron carried Harry to the hospital wing while Lily and Hermione went to fetch the headmaster.
Only a few minutes later, Ron, Hermione, James, Lily and Dumbledore were around Harry's bed in the hospital wing.
"Now Mr Potter, Mr Weasley said you muttered something before you passed out, would you like to share it with us?" the headmaster asked in a gentle voice.
Harry shot Ron a dirty look and turned back to look at the headmaster "Voldemort was happy, Malfoy said that Draco told him that Lily and James are here as seventh years and Voldemort asked Wormtail to explore Hogwarts," he said shortly.
"I see, anything else?"
"Voldemort threatened Wormtail with a painful Cruciatus Curse if he wouldn't bring valuable information," he said in a hollow voice looking at James for some reaction.
But James's jaw was set.
"Well, I suggest you all to be cautious and not talk about crucial things in the halls," said Dumbledore and went, followed by Lily, Hermione and Ron.
"James, do you have the marauders map?" asked Harry.
James caught what Harry is implying "Yeah I have it, what do you recon?"
"Well, we just have to take it with us to wherever we go, even classes and watch it carefully for any sign of the rat." He spat as he said the last words.
"You're right. How long do you think it's gonna take him to get here?" he asked, surprising even himself at the cold tone of his voice.
"Probably even tonight." Harry said gloomily.
In the mean time, Lily was catching up.
"So he has visions of what you-know-who is doing and feeling?" she asked Hermione.
"Yeah, he has it since we were I don't know fourteen? Fifteen?" said Ron, looking at Hermione for confirmation.
"Fifteen for all we know. but Voldemort was able to trick him two years ago, he made that false vision of Sirius," Hermione said and Ron nodded gloomily.
"Vision of Sirius?" asked Lily, utterly confused.
"Yeah, he planted in Harry's mind a vision of Sirius been tortured in the Department of Mysteries to lead Harry there. However, Sirius wasn't there until later.
Harry was bought it and we went to the Department of Mysteries and realized we were tricked. We were lucky to come out alive, but Sirius wasn't. He fell through a death veil there" she finished the story, glassy eyed. There was silence.
"Oh. How do you know if this one is not a trick?" asked Lily.
"We don't." said Ron "But we have to be careful anyway, we don't want little rats running to our feet." He spat.
"You know, I still do not believe Peter did all this stuff. Peter? To the dark side? That's impossible, he is weak and doesn't have a backbone." Lily said.
"Which is probably why you-know-who was after him in the first place, someone weak from the very inner circle of the enemy," said Hermione thoughtfully.
"You know, we never understood why he was hanging with them. Black is a beater and his grades are one of the best, Potter is a chaser and the Quidditch Capitan now Head Boy and his grades are one of the tops and Remus is smart and handsome," Lily said.
Ron and Hermione made disgusted voiced "What?" she asked.
"He was one of our professors!" exclaimed Ron in disgust "Why are you getting those ideas to our innocent little heads?" Lily smacked him on the head.
"Remus IS handsome, much more than Potter and Black even though I admit, Black does have nice muscles," she said watching their faces twisting in disgust with amusement.
"Whatever you say," said Hermione in a grossed voice.
"Well, you can't admit it because you are already smitten with someone else," said Lily in triumph and watched Hermione's face turn red and Ron's ears, cheeks and neck turning deep crimson color.
"Look who's talking, you are absolutely adore James! And you're in denial" said Hermione in last attempt to save her pride.
"What? No way! I'm not!"
"Is too!"
"Am not!"
"Is too!"
"Am not!"
"Is too!"
"Would you shut up! This discussion is over," yelled Ron above all the noise because they just entered the common room and all of the student were watching the Head Girl yelling on her best friend's mom.
"Don't you guys have something better to do?" asked Lily rather rudely.
Everybody turned their head and continued their work. "I do not adore James Potter. And I'm not in denial!" said Lily to Hermione.
"Yes you are! Otherwise, why did you let him take you to Hogsmede?" Hermione said in triumph.
"Because- Because- Because I had no one else to go with!"
"I rest my case," said Hermione and strode to the girls dormitory followed by a very angry redhead girl.
"You don't even KNOW how muscular Sirius Black really is!" said Lily in triumph.
"And I don't want to know thank you very much Mrs Potter," said Hermione and Lily gave a sound of disgust, the door to the dormitory opened and Harry, James and Ron entered. Hermione noticed though Lily didn't.
"Erg…that's just disgusting! I'll never marry that jerk!" she exclaimed.
"You did in our time," Hermione pointed out.
"But I won't in mine!" said Lily and clasped her hand to her mouth as she turned around to leave and saw one confused face, one horror-struck face and one hurt face who turned around and shut the door behind him. Two seconds afterwards, he was followed by Harry.
"I'm so sorry," said Hermione in horror "I'm so sorry Lily" she said and silent tears ran down her cheeks. Ron immediately ran to her hugging her close.
Lily stood there in a state of shock. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to do. She just stood there.
"Well? What are you waiting for? Go after them!" said Ron and Lily literally ran out of the room, looking everywhere to a sign of them.
It was now near dawn and Lily was now walking towards the Astronomy Tower. There, she saw James sitting on the floor, his arms in his lap, slightly embracing himself. There was no sign of tears on his cheeks and he was inhaling and exhaling slowly.
"It's the best view here at dawn," he said to Lily, though not looking at her.
She took a deep breath and her heart ached a bit, as he did not look at her. She watched with him until the sun was completely up.
She turned to him. "It is beautiful here at dawn," he merely nodded but did not look at her.
This isn't fair, I didn't do anything he thought sadly. Lily heard him and had to agree with him. Nothing he said or done in the past weeks made him deserve this kind of treatment.
"I'm sorry" she said quietly. He laughed bitterly.
"That's all right. I knew it was all too good to be true, I mean, you and me in the future with a child, that was my dream since fourth year." He said looking to the sky.
"James…" she started meekly.
"No Lily," he said, turning to look at her with fierce hazel eyes "I am sorry. I tried, I really did, but you deserve better. You are right, I AM a jerk," he said and left leaving Lily on the floor of the Astronomy Tower, silently crying.
A/N:So...I think this chapter is a slight improvement from the last two. Thanks for the reviews. How about reaching a hundred of them before posting the next chapter? Oh well, we'll see...
NKB- Consider writing a book? Thanks for the compliment, but I really think I'm not good enough. Book publishers will reject me the moment they read the first line.
Jinxeh- Well, good point, but, I don't know...I mean, everyone knows Harry Potter's story, but do they know what his parents' names are? I didn't think so, I still don't think so, but if you think so...-grin-. I speak Hebrew as native language and a little Spanish too, not to mention a little Arabic.
annie- Not many people remember this story I think or my user. I remember you from my last account, good to see you back!
Mrs.Poynter and Mrs.Judd- I'm not angry, I just wondered since English is not my native language.
Nightwing 509, The all mighty and powerfulM, hermione2.0, Ace Ryn Knight, amrawo, Dranzen, Mysteriouslily, Lily-900121, Steelo.
Once again, thanks for your reviews, pleaseeeee let's try to reacha hundred of them!
Lily