Chapter 13: A Visit to the Headmaster

The next day, nothing had changed between Derek and James.

Derek was happier though. Finally, though it was now creeping through October, he had gotten the chance to talk to Lily about all the happenings over the eventful summer. At least all the things that he couldn't just tell her without a care of anyone overhearing. That combined with the Quidditch season revving up towards the first match of the year combined to give Derek a boost to his mood. Even James's ignoring of him didn't dampen him.

The classes were getting ever harder and the study sessions continued despite the fact that the original reason for them had all but disappeared. Derek and Lily weren't the only ones who were consistently at the table. Peter, Remus, Sarah, Helga and Wanda all joined them regularly, and Kelly and Sirius could be spotted with them from time to time. Only James was rarely with them, and only really when Flitwick would dump a particularly nasty load on them, and he would have to swallow his pride to ask Lily about it.

Everyone offered to James that he was welcome at the study sessions all the time. Peter, strangely enough, was the one who really seemed interested in getting James to lighten up and join them, but he was also the least effective, behind Derek. Lily didn't ask him; she later told Derek that it would have caused an awkward situation, no matter how effective it might be. Sirius was the most effective of those who tried, though he wasn't part of the study sessions often enough to make James join them.

Quidditch practices continued, and the new Chaser was seamlessly being added to the dream team of Derek and James. Derek was beginning to appreciate the irony of the whole thing with James and him and Quidditch and finally becoming friends for once and then James throwing everything onto its head over Lily. It was quite unlike James really. He had a reputation for being very casual about his relationships. He was constantly in one (he currently would grab Wanda for snog sessions every once in a while), and there was never a shortage of girls who wanted to date him. Now that Derek was privy to some of the girls' conversations about him, things were becoming a little more clear.

Apparently, in the past few years (ever since fourth), James had become more and more distracted when he was with his significant other of the week. He was paying less and less attention to them, and he was becoming less and less attractive of a date. Lily thought well of this, in that she was right about him all along. But Helga pointed out that Lily wasn't taking into account that this could be because James is in love with someone that he can't date because she keeps saying no.

"Impossible," Lily had responded. "I can't imagine that he would not care about any other girl just because he may or may not have an infatuation with me."

Derek only chuckled at this, and didn't respond to Lily's indignant question of why he was laughing. The truth was that pretty much every boy was developing an "infatuation" with Lily Evans. Derek was even having to check himself from staring openly at her when his mind wandered. The younger boys were the worst, ogling her at the worst times and earning the sharp side of her tongue. The Marauders seemed to be the only ones unaffected by Lily Evans growing up, but Derek knew exactly why: Loyalty.

Peter would catch himself from time to time. He really liked her, and it showed when he wasn't paying attention, but he was trying hard enough at it (and he was around James enough) that Lily hadn't noticed. Remus was aloof as always, and even though Derek did actually try to pay attention to see if Remus had found someone to lay his eyes on, he never gave in on Lily or anyone else. Sirius had it easy, since he, like James, also had his pick of whoever he wanted within Hogwarts, he had his own distraction from Lily Evans.

Everyone knew where James stood. Or did they?

The Marauders knew, and Derek knew because Sirius had told him in order for Derek to try and fix the rift between them, and Derek had been forced to share the secret with Lily to dodge a very awkward moment, and he knew that Lily wouldn't have shared it with anyone without a very good reason, since it was embarrassing to herself too.

The way Sarah and Helga acted about it, Derek was sure that they knew, though he couldn't for the life of him think of how they would have found out. And Derek had never been able to get a good reading on Wanda or Kelly. He didn't think he would ever be able to do that. And every time he talked to them, they asked about his 'progress' where Remus was concerned, and Derek found conversations about that awkward in the extreme.

Derek was walking back to the broomshed after a particularly tiring practice when it hit him. His thoughts were consumed with drama. He wasn't thinking about his predicament unless he was actually doing the research that his father had drawn up for him. He still kept the list underneath his four-poster, pulling it out after the Marauders were asleep, or while they were at a meal in order to figure out where he was with it.

He wasn't entirely sure why he was keeping up with the thing if he didn't plan to join the Death Eaters anyway. But there was still one thing he hadn't done that he and the Marauders had talked about during the summer. Talk to Dumbledore. The problem was that James's idea about the whole thing wasn't going to be used while James was still angry with Derek over Lily. That had stopped Derek from going to Dumbledore himself so far, but the letter that had come that morning, the morning of October 23rd, had started to push Derek into going without Marauder support.

Derek,

We feel that we need to talk to you in person, so we request that you not, as usual, sign up to stay at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays. We believe that there is someone you should meet over these holidays. Do as well as you can with your list, but we think you will be as ready as you need to be when the time comes.

Do not betray your family name,

Fugue

It just screamed of "We're taking you to Voldemort, I hope you're ready to die."

So this was forcing Derek into action… but he wasn't sure as to how to proceed. He could probably ask Remus… or Lily… he really should ask Sarah… and maybe Helga too… but in the end, who should he take with him? Should he take anyone with him? Would Dumbledore need someone to vouch for him, or would the old man actually take him for what he was?

For that matter, what was he?

So, Derek found himself taking a different route out of the Great Hall after dinner that evening. "Where're you going, Derek?" Sarah asked him as the rest of the Gryffindor sixth years went on ahead. She had stopped and turned around as he left the group to take a different staircase. She was concerned, and Derek noted that she might have noticed his sour mood.

"I'm going for a walk to clear my head," to the Headmaster's office.

"Would you like company?"

Derek couldn't help but smile as Sarah made her offer with an innocence he could not muster within himself. "Not this evening. I should be back by curfew, and I'll be studying as usual."

With one last nod, Sarah said, "See you then." And then she hurried off to catch up to the rest of the Gryffindors. Derek smiled after her for a moment, then let his smile fade to a determined look as he climbed the stairs purposefully.

It didn't take him very long to reach the Gargoyle statue that marked the entrance to the Headmaster's Office. But once there he was stuck. He did not know the password. He folded his arms and tried to think of what the password could be, but he didn't get very far before a voice interrupted his musings.

"Hershey Kiss" The Gargoyle sprung to life and leapt aside at the same time that Derek's form leapt to one side of the hallway and turned to face the bearer of the voice. It turned out that it was the man that he had been looking for, and Derek allowed himself to relax. "I believe you want to see me, Mr. Fugue?" The old man asked him. Derek simply nodded, still getting over the shock a bit. Dumbledore smiled and his eyes twinkled as he gestured for Derek to lead the way up the staircase that went to his office.

Derek walked in first and stood in front of one of the chairs on the closer side of the desk that stood in the middle of the room. As Dumbledore went around the desk, Derek took the chance to look at some of the strange instruments that were kept in various positions all around the room. There were quite a bit sitting on the desk, some were placed just so on one of the cabinets or bookcases that lined the edges of the room, and there were even a few that were freestanding.

Of course, as soon as Derek's eyes caught the phoenix on his perch, his eyes never left it. The beautiful plumage rose and fell slightly with the steady breathing of sleep. Dumbledore sat down at the desk and noticed where Derek's attention lay. He chuckled. "Yes, he is quite the thing to look at in here. I've never been able to bring any contraption in that catches any visitor's eye more than Fawkes here."

Derek sincerely doubted that this was the only reason why Dumbledore brought in the strange contraptions, but he kept his mouth shut about it. Dumbledore indicated that he should sit down, so he did. "And what brings you on a visit to my office this evening, Mr. Fugue?"

Derek sighed. He had wanted a little more time to think of what he was going to say. Even if it was good that Dumbledore had shown up to use the password for him. Derek made a split-second decision to say whatever flowed out of him, and to trust his instincts. "It's about me and my family."

"I see," was the response from Dumbledore. When the pause lengthened, Dumbledore didn't make a move to hurry him, or to tell him that he should go on. Derek knew it, and thought perhaps the concentration on his face told Dumbledore that no amount of prodding would make him hurry up.

"My parents…" Derek trailed off and swallowed, then he pushed on, his resolve strengthening. "…are Death Eaters. And they want me to become one as well."

Dumbledore leaned forward on his desk and steepled his fingers. His eyes didn't have their trademark twinkle; instead, they looked dull and actually betrayed the age of the man that they belonged to. "What do you think about this?"

"I… I'm not that kind of person," Derek replied honestly, for the first time about himself. "I've had a list of things I've had to research in order to get in my parents' good graces again… which I haven't been in since I was Sorted into Gryffindor… though I'm still unsure as to why I was Sorted into Gryffindor…"

"You were Sorted into Gryffindor because that is where you belong," Dumbledore remarked, not having moved in the slightest. "The Sorting Hat has made surprising Sortings before, but it has never been wrong about the House that a student was supposed to be in. After all, many people are not who they seem to be at first glance."

"But the Sorting Hat told me that I could be in any House with the way I was!" Derek responded heatedly, "It said I was brave, cunning, loyal and intelligent. But it said that I was not like my parents, and the rest of my family, and that I would make more and better friends if I was Sorted into Gryffindor!"

"Is that why you nodded?"

Another minute passed, and then Derek gave an infinitesimal nod. It was so slight, that Dumbledore was sure that had he been able to see his face, he wouldn't have noticed the head move at all.

Derek was flabbergasted. "You saw that?"

Dumbledore's eyes shone for a moment. "I'm rumoured to know everything that goes on in this school, you know."

Derek frowned to himself. He didn't answer my question.

"The Sorting Hat didn't make a mistake, and I imagine it took more convincing that just those two points to get you to finally acquiesce to the Sorting Hat's suggestion."

Derek nodded. "There was more than that, sir, but I don't wish to share."

Dumbledore waved a hand. "There's no need to share anymore than you wish, Mr. Fugue. I know that your progress here at Hogwarts has not been easy. I'm disappointed that I could not find a way to help you through your troubles, but there was nothing I could do to bring you what you needed. I had to count on the strong personalities in your House and year. They succeeded, it seems, in bringing out your true self.

"You've slowly changed through your years here from what could have been a nastier person than your father had been, or Lucius Malfoy, or Severus Snape, who also seems to be garnering a reputation among the students in the same kinds of nastiness. But you don't even stoop as low as James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew do. You keep to yourself, you pick your battles wisely and you defend your own code. You've been doing that the whole time; even if you haven't noticed it."

Derek was completely still in his seat, absorbing the words that Dumbledore was telling him. But how was all this to help him? He didn't even know how to pose a question to Dumbledore to guide the conversation in the direction that he wanted it to go.

"But you've been discovering things about yourself now. You've been discovering the things that Derek Fugue thinks. Not the Fugue family, not Gryffindor House, not anyone else. Just Derek; the most important thing that is in your life are your own thoughts. You have to know them from the thoughts of your peers, family, and tutors. So, again, I can't help you, except to tell you that I am here to talk to.

"I cannot take you away from your parents, as they are your legal guardians and I am not. I cannot accuse them of being Death Eaters because the only proof I have is your word, and though that would possibly be sufficient, it would put you in more danger than you already are in. So, unfortunately, you must continue in this endeavor yourself."

Dumbledore smiled at him. "Is there anything else?"

Derek shook his head mutely. There was a lot to think about.

Dumbledore nodded and though he made no gesture of any kind, and didn't say a word, Derek knew it was a dismissal. The man had a school to run.

"Thank you, Professor."

"You're welcome, Mr. Fugue."

And Derek left the office.

Author's Note: I'm sorry that you all had to wait so long for this. The end of the school year was hectic, and was immediately followed by me gallivanting off to Europe for a few weeks. So now I'm back, and I'm trying to finish this before HBP comes out. Only a few chapters to go!