Chapter 17: Decision
All three of the Fugues stood in the main living room of Fugue Manor. Derek's father had his arms crossed over his chest, standing directly in front of his son, who stood defiant against him. Derek's mother stood off to one side, but her stance was no less strong than the two men. They had just revealed to Derek the apparition coordinates that he would be using that day. As he was seventeen as of December 17th, he had trained himself to apparate and had passed the test to attain his license just two days before. Now was the day. The day that he had been waiting for for almost a half-year.
He felt like he was going to be sick. But it was time to go, and he could not afford to show any weakness at all.
There were a few moments of silence where nothing happened and no one moved more than the constant up and down motion of their chests as they breathed. Suddenly, as if a pistol had been fired in the distance so that only the two adults in the room heard it, they both looked at each other. "It is time," Mr. Fugue said, and his wife nodded. Derek didn't know how they had determined what time they were supposed to go, but that was not an important thing to know at that moment. Instead, directly after his parents had apparated to the correct coordinates, he followed suit.
He found himself in a dark, though there was more to the darkness than the hour, graveyard set beside a hill on one side and a church on the other. There was a house on the hillside. Neither the house nor the church looked like there was much human life that had touched them in quite a few years. As Derek looked at all of the figures that were gathering around a particular headstone in the graveyard, he was glad he had remembered to put his hood up before apparating. There was no one in the graveyard among the robed figures without a hood up.
Except one.
The man was pale, but he gave off an aura of power and authority that was difficult to ignore, especially with every other robed figure treating him deferentially. They were all forming a circle around the man. Derek found himself herded toward the circle and ended up standing just inside the circle in between two people, though masked and hooded, he was sure were his parents. He swallowed and made sure he was as far back under the hood as possible, and wished that he had a mask too.
When the circle was complete, one of the members of the circle went to his knees and crawled to the center to kiss the hem of the pale man's robes. One by one, every member of the circle did so, and when Derek's father went (the one on Derek's left, anyway), his mother (the one on his right), pushed him forward after him. He crawled forward and kissed the hem as everyone else had, calling him "Master…" and he figured out who the pale man was.
Despite the sudden drenching of his heart in fear, the pale man in the center of the circle was only terrifying because of things he was said to have done. Stories, no more. The fear of the constantly circling snake just outside the circle was what really scared him. Once all of the Death Eaters had approached Lord Voldemort and kissed his robes, Voldemort swept his gaze across all of those who were assembled before him. Derek repressed the shudder that tried to consume him and schooled himself to be motionless. He didn't know how he was going to get out of this; he didn't know why he had thought he had had a chance in the first place.
Voldemort began to speak, and though the graveyard had been under a silence before, now even the quiet wind listened to what he had to say. "The one meeting that all of you know will happen in advance. The one meeting that we add to our ranks. You stand in it, friends." He raised his arms and indicated the group that surrounded him. His tone belied his words however, and Derek's brow furrowed slightly. Friends indeed. "Since such is business best taken care of first, how about we bring forward our first applicant?" There was no snickering to his bad joke.
Derek thanked whoever ruled the cosmos that he was not the first one to be called. Voldemort instead pointed over to a different section of the circle where there was another figure, slightly shorter than he was, standing in front of two other Death Eaters in the circle. One of them pushed the figure forward, and though it stumbled, it did not fall. When the figure walked to Voldemort and fell to their knees at last, Voldemort smiled. It was a grisly thing to see, even from one side, as Derek did. It had no mirth, and did not remind him at all of any smile he had seen. Save ones he had seen on his own parents'.
Voldemort flicked his wand carelessly and muttered. The hood was lifted from the figure that knelt in front of him. Derek bit down hard, clamping his jaw shut on the gasp that threatened to escape his lips. Kneeling in front of Lord Voldemort was Bellatrix Black. Not having made a sound, Derek did know that his face betrayed his distaste and surprise. He was very glad to still have his hood up.
"Bellatrix Black," Voldemort said, testing the name on the air. The wind did not respond in the slight pause. "As a member of the honorable and pure house of Black, do you understand the taint that is upon our world?"
Bellatrix's face did not change as she confidently responded to the Dark Lord. "I recognize the taint of muggles on our world." The words were by rote, Derek realized. He also realized, since he had not been taught any words, that perhaps the initiation would be different for everyone that joined their ranks. Or he was screwed before he began unless he memorized the words that slid out of her vile mouth.
Voldemort began to pace around Bellatrix, never once his red eyes leaving her kneeling form. Bellatrix continued to stare at the space where his face was when he began. "You," Voldemort continued, his voice almost soft, "have decided to take up your wand in the defense of our world. How far are you willing to go to exterminate all that would taint our world?"
"I would go as far as it is necessary, and further, to complete the task that is set before me," Bellatrix replied.
Voldemort continued walking in his circle for a few seconds, and then suddenly he pointed his wand at Bellatrix and shouted, "Crucio!" The night was no longer silent with Bellatrix's screams tearing through the silence that had permeated through the graveyard a mere moment before. Derek cringed backward into one of his parents, earning him a silent slap across the back of his head. He held steady in his position after that, but he had to struggle to keep a tear from sliding down his face. That would certainly be noticed when his hood was down.
As suddenly as the sound began, it stopped. The silence once again returned to the graveyard, but Derek saw through its calmness. There was no calmness. Even the silence knew that it could be broken with a quick word and the wave of a wand. It was an alien feeling, and only added to Derek's distress. Even seeing Bellatrix rise to her knees with great difficulty was no help to his mood. After all, it could be him that was rising from his knees after dealing with that spell the next time it was cast.
Voldemort spoke quietly, but his words carried well enough in the tense stillness. "Can you stand the pain, Bellatrix? Can you deal with failure? For that is the cost of failure."
Bellatrix did not hesitate. "I can stand what I must. I will succeed at my task."
Voldemort smiled his smile. "Then give me your arm." And Voldemort took it and pointed his wand at it, up near the shoulder, after lifting the sleeve of the robe that she wore. "MORSMORDRE!"
Bellatrix let out a cry, though it was nowhere near the pain or the length that her scream had been. It was quickly silenced, though she looked like the pain in her arm continued, as a green light bathed her arm from the wand that was suspended above it. And then Voldemort said the incantation again, lowering the wand to touch her skin. As black… it wasn't light, it was power, spewed forth onto the arm, Bellatrix let out another cry, this one longer and more mournful.
And then it was over. Voldemort released her arm and she took it back from him gratefully, holding it in her other arm as if it was her greatest treasure. Derek imagined that it had the same mark on it that his mother had shown him so many months ago in their Manor. "You," Voldemort said, his voice high, cold, and at a normal volume, "Are now initiated into the Death Eaters: Those that bring Death to those who are our enemies, and deliver our world from the same.
There was no sound as Bellatrix bowed low and backed up into her place in the circle, which had been made by the two people that had been standing behind her before. Then Voldemort returned to the place that he had been standing in originally. He smiled the smile, and it was all Derek could do to not visibly shudder. As it was, there were goosebumps on his arms. It did not help at all that Voldemort's gaze then turned to his section of the circle, and one long finger pointed directly at him. "Next," he said.
Derek felt himself pushed forward, but prepared for such treatment, he simply used it to start his walking pace. When he reached the Dark Lord, the man that was so feared that some of his friends refused to even speak his name, he knelt before him, his eyes staring at his face. He schooled his own to be blank; to be without any feeling at all. When Derek's hood was pushed back by another careless wave of Voldemort's he revealed no weakness.
"Derek Fugue," the Dark Lord said, also as if tasting the name on the air by saying it. "You," he said with a lengthy pause. Derek didn't like how he said that one word. "Are the unique one of your group. There are, if you hadn't bothered to check, four of you being initiated tonight. Bellatrix has already succeeded, Rudolphus Lestrange will go after you, and Severus Snape had the honor of going last." Voldemort stood aside to reveal the other two of those who were standing slightly on the inside of the circle. Because Derek had been directly across from Lestrange, he now had an easy sight at the face below the hood in the lower corner of his eyes. He wore a confident smile. Snape's face was hidden from Derek's angle.
"All three, I knew, would succeed tonight, and there had never been a question about any of them. They are my staunchest supporters of your generation, Fugue." Voldemort leaned down next to him, and Derek clamped his jaw tightly shut and refused to budge an inch when the scariest wizard alive was mere centimeters from him. "But not you," Voldemort called out in a stage whisper. Derek didn't flinch. "After all," he continued, straightening and beginning to pace around Derek in the same way that he had paced around Bellatrix beforehand. "It is quite hard for me to consider you one of my supporters when you are a Gryffindor."
The Death Eaters, as if woken from a trance, began to respond to Voldemort's words with mutters. Voldemort did not bother himself silencing them. "Bravery. That's what the hat may have seen in you. It may be the only thing that is holding you up right now. The fear that is coursing through you… Even if you are loyal, you can't have imagined that this would go well, with all of the suspicions against you." The footsteps stopped. "Let's see how true they are. Face me!" Derek turned to him as he was told. "Legilimens!"
The shock rippled through him, and then he was reliving his own memories. His mind shot through his five and a half years at Hogwarts, lingering on Narcissa, Bellatrix and Snivillus's treatment of him when he reached third year, and then it was suddenly over, and he found himself gasping for breath on the ground. He quickly rose to his knees again and faced the Dark Lord. He didn't dare to wipe the tears from his eyes. It was too late now.
"You were loyal for a time, weren't you, Derek? You were loyal to the cause even after you were Sorted into Gryffindor. You showed the bravery that the Sorting Hat saw within you by not betraying your ancestry." There were more mutterings, particularly by those who were directly behind him, and Derek felt a flash of foreboding, though he was not yet sure why. "That is, not immediately." As if with a spell, the silence reigned in the graveyard once more.
"No, until third year you dealt with all of the lonesomeness, the dirty tricks pulled on you by both your Housemates and those that you thought should have been your Housemates. Then the tricks got worse, and you suddenly realized you didn't want it to happen to anyone else, and you stopped it." Voldemort stopped, and then turned to where Bellatrix was standing in the circle, and looked from her to Snape. "Derek, it seems, alerted that great oaf to Narcissa's plans in his third year." Bellatrix let out a wordless cry of rage, while Snape remained silent, and his face masked. The person on Bellatrix's left tried to silence her, but Voldemort waved his hand. "Rage against those who defy us is a good thing, dear Lisa, let her scream."
He then turned back to Derek. "Your treachery only grew from there, Fugue. Oh, how you began to fail. You began to fail everything that was ever taught you by your honorable parents, Ken and Alice Fugue. Not all at once," he amended to the surrounding Death Eaters, as if defending Derek, "No, not all at once, but in spurts." He turned back to face the boy below him. "It wasn't until this past summer that the pieces began to come together. Did you begin to realize it when you met with your brother?" There was a sharp gasp behind him, and then mutterings that spread through the crowd. Derek, though his fear was sharpened to the point of no return, managed to keep a straight face through the nauseous feeling that saturated his whole body.
Voldemort continued on, starting to pace again. "Or perhaps was it when you met with James Potter and contrived with him to help Sirius Black escape?" More mutterings and a particularly angry outcry from somewhere behind him. Voldemort continued as if the increased sound did not exist. "Maybe it was when you helped the half-blood Sarah Kosh with her problems." The sound further increased. "But I think," Voldemort said, raising his voice for the first time, silencing the mutterings. "that it was when you poured out your heart to the mudblood, Lily Evans."
The crowd was no longer muttering. They weren't even quiet anymore. They rose in a cry that shook the very dirt that Derek was kneeling on. Voldemort let the Death Eaters rage at him, though he made no move until Bellatrix took a step forward. Very suddenly his wand was trained on her and she was back in her place under the influence of the Imperious Curse. "No, no, my new pet," he said, his voice smooth. It was obvious that things were progressing very well for him. "It is not your place to cause the punishment of this one. You will have others. Be patient." He lifted his wand, and Bellatrix stayed put. Derek couldn't tell what her expression was, as her hood was up again.
"Oh, your treachery runs deep, Derek Fugue. However, there still is a chance at redemption. There are still things that you can do to save yourself. And it wouldn't be in your best interest to defy me anyway." Voldemort let his words sink in, and the crowd began to quiet and return to the mutterings. "First, your friend Remus Lupin." There was a gasp from the crowd, and with a little glance, Derek discovered that it came from Severus Snape's position in the circle. "You have discovered that he is a werewolf. Unworthy, some wizards say. Half-breed, others say."
"But he is pureblooded. He holds within himself the potential to be the kind of wizard that we all are aspiring here to be; holding none of the taint that even as we speak is seeping into the world that we need to clean. He would not find anywhere else that would accept him. He will go through his life with this ministry constantly turning him away from the jobs he should righteously obtain. He will be without friends, and unable to function in this life unless we are successful in changing the world as we know it."
Derek found himself thrown back into his memories. Remus put his hands on Derek's shoulders. "When I was bitten by the werewolf… I thought that my whole life would simply be a misery. Then Dumbledore helped me get into the school and put in measures so that I wouldn't bite any of you. Then the Marauders found out about it, and they helped me live. Not just exist between transformations… but live. You helped, Lily helped… everyone helped by being themselves… Look, the point is that things right now are much better than I could have ever imagined when I was ten, and thinking that I wouldn't be able to go to Hogwarts at all. Things can work out, Derek. You can make them work out."
Who are you going to believe?
"And that's just one reason why you should join us, Derek. I'll give you more; see how generous I am?" Voldemort didn't wait for an answer to his question. "Your other friend, Lily Evans, doesn't belong in our world. She is part of the taint that permeates through the world. She doesn't have to be killed, you understand. She can simply live in the world that she belongs in. The world of Muggles. If you can convince her to do what is good for her, then she will be able to live her life in the way that she is supposed to, and you and I will live ours in the way we're supposed to."
"You're better than that Derek. We know how we feel about each other because we have done those little things. And the big things too. You've surreptitiously gotten me a box of tissues when I was having a cry and no one knew why. Everyone else was asking me what was going wrong, but all you did was go off and get me a box of tissues."
Lily smiled and nodded "It's the little things that tell you whether you're friends with someone or not. The big things can be important, and Potter has certainly started to pick up on that… but the little ones are the most important. They are what keep us sane."
Lily's place was in Hogwarts and the wizarding world, just like Derek's was.
Who are you going to believe?
"Since I'm feeling particularly generous this evening, Derek, I will even give you a third reason to join me. Your friend Sarah Kosh lives with her muggle father. Yes, they live in a Wizarding community, but that doesn't mean anything to him. Nothing has meant anything to him since his wife died when she gave birth to Sarah. No one has been able to get him to leave, and since he's got a witch as a child, some people even defend his right to stay within the wizarding world. But you know the truth about him.
"He abuses her, and she finds her home miserable. She wants to escape into Hogwarts and the wizarding world to get away from him. But until she graduates from Hogwarts, she will be unable to break away from her legal guardian. So, like me, she will be out of luck." At 'like me,' Derek blinked, and the confusion must have shown on his face, for Voldemort spread his arms wide. "Indeed, I had a father much like hers. She and I are in a very unique position as to know the true nature of the muggles that are trying to get into our world. For her sake and for the sake of all the children in her position around the world, we must exterminate them."
When Sarah looked directly into his eyes this time, Derek felt something… it wasn't something that could be explained off as a developing crush, love, a part of their friendship… it was more of Sarah's true thoughts were speaking to him directly, without the middle-man of her mouth. "Hope, Derek. It's all about the hope. Didn't you always have it? Even if it wasn't obvious? Something was helping you get through everything when nothing was going your way. When you didn't have anyone to talk to… before you began to… to change. Into the person you are now. There was something, I'm sure of that. I think it was hope."
He abuses her, and she finds her home miserable.
It's all about the hope. Didn't you always have it?
He abuses her.
It's all about the hope.
Abuse.
Hope.
Who are you going to believe?
Voldemort smiled at him, though through the haze of Derek's confused mind, it was almost genuine. "What is your choice, young Fugue? Will you join the ranks of those who wish to bring the order to the wizarding world that it deserves, or will you die?"
And Derek did not blink. Through his head spat all the things he had learned. Both in his entire life and in the past few months. The short months that he had been happy with his own life. Mudbloods are the scum of the earth. Lily Evans doesn't fit the mold of a mudblood. Cleanse the world, purify the world from the stupidity of those who would take it away from you!
There is no one who can take it away. You have your hope.
"This," James said, "is a farewell."
"But this is not a farewell in the fact that you are leaving us. It is a farewell in that we are wishing you to fare well in the challenges that you are heading out to face," Sirius added, without a trace of smugness. The words combined with Sirius being completely serious for once brought out a warm feeling in Derek.
"Because we believe in you," Lily continued, now throwing an amused look at the present Marauders, "and have trained you well." This brought on some snickering from everyone in the room, and Derek's smile was the brightest of all of them. "And we know that you will come back to us in the new year."
"So don't worry about all of us. We'll be fine, because we know that you'll be fine," Remus finished, and all present nodded.
Who do you trust? Who stands by you? Who is working for the betterment of the world? Who is the right choice?
Who do you believe?
"I will do neither."