Title- The Return of Jess

Chapter Title- Mental Breakdown (YAY)

Disclaimer- I do not own The Outsiders

Note- I have no idea where I came up with this chapter. It kind of shows what your mind does when you've been up for 24 hours and you are caffeine loaded. Flashbacks are omnipresent.

We had been looking for Sara for a long time. We even bumped into Anna on her way home. She helped us look for her. I finally found her. She sounded as drunk as ever.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked her loudly. I looked at the people she was with. The Shepard gang, I had heard about them and that Buck Merril guy. I haven't seen Buck Merril yet, but I've seen the Shepard gang and I was scared.

"Whatever the hell she wants, yer not her mother." I noticed somebody else in the corner. They looked familiar; I squinted until I recognized who it was.

"Two-Bit," I managed to get out before I was face to face with Tim. Two-Bit didn't hear me, he was really drunk. I gulped and closed my eyes waiting to be hit.

"Hey, yer Sodapop Curtis's girlfriend. Ya must be stupid. I like the Curtis's just fine, but if yer boyfriend's that good looking, don't ya get jealous? He hasn't cheated yet, but don't ya get the what-ifs?" I wish I had gotten away with stealing that switchblade. I would've put it in his back with no second thought.

"Aren't ya Steve Randle's sister? Ya kinda look like him. Except that ya have a scar right here," he said touching my scar that was above my eyebrow. I shuddered, I hated that scar.

"Don't mention that fucking scar!" I screamed at him and kneed him where it would hurt most. I ran to get Anna and Michelle. We decided we would need a car.

"We're goin' to Soda's," I said and ran, with them following me, to Soda's.

"We need to borrow the car, Sara's in trouble!" I shouted as I flung open the door. He looked at me puzzled, but I grabbed the keys and ran back outside. I drove to the spot where Sara was. They were still there. Anna and Michelle grabbed Sara. She struggled but the two were able to get her into the car. We drove back to Soda's house and I dropped off the car.

"Thanks," I told Soda and kissed his cheek. He still looked kind of confused but I shook my head.

Between the three of us, we were able to get Sara into a bed. She fought and I wondered what drugs she had been taking. I got up early the next morning and decided to go to see Soda and apologize for being in such a rush. I stopped outside the door. The window was slightly open.

"Your girlfriend is crazy."

"No, she's Jessica. I happen to like her the way she is."

"Fine, but she was a klepto-whatever."

"You are too; you don't need half of what you steal."

"But I'm not crazy. She kneed Tim Shepard because he said she looked like Steve." That wasn't it; he was just too drunk last night to know. I opened the door.

"You don't have to like me, you can hate me," I said to Two-Bit and I turned around to Soda.

"And, and if I'm gonna ruin your friendships, you don't have to be my boyfriend." I closed my eyes not believing I had said that. I wondered what he was going to say.

"Two-Bit, you think I'm crazy? You're crazy! You got Sara drunk and the only reason she followed you was because she likes you. But you don't care, as long as there's booze!" I don't know what came over me. I backed myself into the wall and slid down, until I was sitting.

"You're the one that disappeared for 7 months!"

"I came back. I came back because I could only think of the people and the feelings I might've hurt. The first day I came back, you walked in and said hi to me like I hadn't been gone. Why don't you like me!" I lost it. I started to cry, I put my head down. I shut everyone out, and I shut my feelings off. I was just sitting there, staring into a black nothingness.

"Two-Bit, what'd you do?"

"What'd I do? I dunno, she's your crazy girlfriend." I hugged my legs to my body and began to sway back and forth. I hadn't done this since, since the scar. I started to hum Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

"She's your crazy girlfriend." I wasn't crazy, I wasn't crazy. I got help, I saw that therapist in New York. I wasn't crazy. What was Soda thinking? Was he going to break up with me?

"NO!" I screamed and hugged him. I started to sob. He rocked me back and forth saying "Sh, Sh, its okay." It wasn't okay. He thought I was crazy. He led me to the couch and I fell onto my back.

"You're just tired," he told me. He was right, I was tired, but that wasn't the reason I was acting like this. The last time I acted like this, the last time I successfully shut off my feelings completely and blocked everybody out and looked into the black nothingness, I was in the third grade before we moved to New York.

Flashback

"Paste eater!" Jessica looked around. There wasn't any paste in sight.

"But, but there isn't any paste."

"That's 'cause you ate it all, duh!"

"I DIDN'T EAT THE STUPID PASTE!" she shouted at the blonde headed boy. He was one of the popular kids, and Jessica wasn't. Jessica was sort of tall and really thin. She had pale skin and dark hair. She looked scary, almost like the ghosts you would see in a horror movie.

"How come you don't got a daddy?" Jessica hated questions about her dad. Her mom never mentioned him she never mentioned him, nobody mentioned him. He called her names that seemed bad to a third grader: bed wetter, paste eater, nose picker, and cry baby, all of those other things. Jessica didn't even have a friend to stick up for her.

She closed her eyes and started to hum the first thing that popped into her mind: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She sat on her chair with her legs hugged to her body and she rocked back and forth. She couldn't feel any emotions or hear anybody. She only saw black and heard the hum. That was, until she fell off the chair. She fell forward into the desk, banging her forehead against it and then fell onto the floor.

"Loser," he snorted and kicked the chair over onto her. She kept herself from crying but knew she would get her revenge on Peter Hopkins, if it was the last thing she did as a third grader in Pennsylvania.

The teacher came over and pulled the chair off of her. Jessica was noted as 'clumsy' because the other students picked on her and she never concentrated on other things. She knew when she moved it would be different. She wiped her forehead and wiped the blood off her hand with her skirt. The teacher called the ambulance. Jessica's mom carried her out of the hospital and promised her they were moving soon. As for now, Jessica wouldn't have to go back to school.

She rubbed her scar which had started to hurt. It was the only thing that reminded her of that embarrassment. She sighed and fell back asleep itching at the scar.