-:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:-

I Don't Want to Hear It

-:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:-

by Queen of Serpents

Disclaimer: I own a pencil, this laptop, and this glorious, ego-inflated head of mine with a brain more intelligent than any other (lol,) but sadly I don't own anything that Tamora Pierce has written. :(

-:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:-

Chapter 4: Parting

"Briar," Dedicate Lark said. "Would you pass the bread?"

Briar obeyed, passing the milk but not looking at anyone, especially Rosethorn, in the eye in shame.

Breakfast was awkward. Immensely awkward. But a part of Briar's mind tried to offer him some consolation and reminded him, at least it wasn't Sandry. Imagine her finding him in that state screaming out Rosethorn's name and not hers?

But still it had been Rosethorn. His teacher. How embarrassing. How wrong. How--

He decided to drop to matter. It only made him want to relive the dream again and again. If only Rosethorn shut the door and, instead of waking out, came to him? Oh dear he was getting aroused just thinking about it!

He made it a point to speak to her about it and apologize but what could he say? Best to leave the matter behind. He wanted to kick himself for what happened but he couldn't undo the past now could he? He just probably ruined his chances to ever be near her and speak to her normally let alone fulfill these new fantasies he began to have.

Why did he want her so badly though? Wasn't Sandry enough for him? Wasn't having a beautiful young woman like that enough. Why go after Rosethorn? Not only was she older but she was his teacher!

He needed to take a break from these thoughts. Today he had some time off that morning so he was planning to go on a walk. Maybe that would cool his head and not make him think so much about her. He didn't even want to say her name lest he thought about her like that again but it was too late. He already did. The more he wanted to not think of her, the more she came into her mind. Being a boy was pretty hard. He always thought how great and easy it was but oh no. It wasn't. Not when what you are most likely thinking and feeling can show right through. He looked down his pants and cursed. Best go to the privy and take a cold shower before going out for that walk.

-:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:-

"There you are!" cried out an exasperated Evvy. She had been running for ages trying to find him and here he was sitting on the roof of Discipline. He had ventured all around Winding Circle grabbing a bite to eat from the Hub and flirting with a novice from the gardens. Talking to the girl - he didn't know her name because he didn't care - made him think about Rosethorn all the more instead of taking his mind off of her.

This really was getting ridiculous. He was happy he had a break that day because if he didn't, he didn't know how he would face her after what happened that morning. It was horrible.

"I can't believe you're here! I was looking all over for you! I was going mad!"

"So I saw," Briar said lazily, yawning and leaning his head back against the chimney. He had seen her running around the spiraling roads to nearly all the gardens but hadn't known she was out to find him. "Why were you looking for me in the first place?"

"I wasn't really looking for you but for Pahan Rosethorn," she told him, catching her breath. "But then I realized perhaps you know where she is."

"Well I don't," he said, irritated. He really didn't know where Rosethorn was and frankly, he was glad she wasn't around. He didn't know how he would face her.

"Is everything okay Pahan Briar?" Evvy asked, sitting down next to him. "You've been acting awfully weird. Especially around Pahan Rosethorn."

Briar felt the color rising to his cheeks at the memory of acting "weird" around Rosethorn. Really, how was he going to fix this?

"Evvy," Briar said all of a sudden realizing she was a girl and that he could probably get some advice from her. "What do you think a guy should do when they screw up really bad?"

Evvy, shocked by the sudden change in topic, furrowed her brows and then looked at Briar straight in the eye. "Screw up? What did he do?"

"Well let's say he did something he wasn't supposed to."

"Like?"

"Like... Something intimate and the other person saw and they found out something about you and now you can't fix it. And it's with a girl too. What do you think you think the girl would want?" Briar asked unable to stop the flow of words from coming out of his mouth.

"Well," she began scratching her head. "It depends on the situation. And the person," she added as an afterthought.

"Well let's say the person has begun to like her but she doesn't know and you can't be with her because your with someone else?"

"Does he still like the girl he's with?" Evvy asked wisely.

Briar hesitated and then spoke;

"No. He doesn't. Not anymore."

Evvy sighed and jumped off her seat from the edge of the roof. "I s'pose you'll just have to tell the other person you feel for them any more like you used to. Tell Sandry it's not working out and then go to Rosethorn and fix things with her."

Briar's jaw was left hanging open. Just as he was about to retort and think of a phrase to speak, Evvy went down the trap door and out of sight.

He sat there and pondered Evvy's words. Though shocked he was that she knew what happened so easily, he found that she was correct in her words. He had to end this thing with Sandry. Maybe then he would be able to think things through and fix this weird predicament he found himself in with Rosethorn.

He knew that parting from Sandry was going to be hard. He still didn't know whether his feelings for Sandry really die or whether what was going on with Rosethorn really was. He did now one thing, however. He knew that in order for him to find out what he truly felt for either of the women in his life, he would have to end this thing with Sandry. Parting would be hard, but he would always be there for Sandry. He never denied that. He just needed some space form her, that's all.

-:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:-