Disclaimer – I do not own Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time or any materials relating to the Novels.
"Oh yea, this is what we've been waitin for!" Rahvin yells excitedly from the booth as music begins to blare throughout the stadium, the lights dim, and both sides of the crowd stand to their feet in applause. The players are rushed to the sidelines as the ground opens up at the 50 yard line and a massive platform comes into view, Valan Luca standing atop it surrounded by red and purple tents.
"My show's the best the world has ever seen, biatches! It's a celebration!" Valan Luca yells through a massive megaphone and Rahvin snickers from the booth,
"The best, huh? And I think we know why!"
"Oh hell yea!" Luca yells and cues Aludra and her fireworks, sending the canopies off of the tents.
"Oh baby!" Hopper drools as the giant boar horses come into view and Slayer peaks over the wolf's head, smirking at the half naked entertainers.
"I give you the Murasaka Sisters!" Luca yells as the women begin tumbling and twirling atop the elephants and swing between trapeze, "Their names are…eh, who cares!"
"No one!" Thom yells, clapping into the air and Noal and Rhuarc hoot and holler.
"I guess I could introduce the Chavana Brothers…" Luca says pensively, looking at the four jugglers and Aram nods his head excitedly,
"Yes, please do!"
"Uh, no." Daved Hanlon slaps Aram across the back of the head, sending him running away in tears.
"Bring out the contortionist!" Logain yells from the bleachers, standing on Gawyn's wobbly shoulders.
"Oh right, my bad. Adria, get out here!" Luca peaks into a tent and a hottie rolled up into a pretzel comes springing out, bouncing around in her sparkly leotard.
"Oh shiat! She can bend like—ah damn, I've got some experimenting to do!" Galad yells from the booth and spins around, rushing out.
"I've got hot girl-radar too, but I've got a job to do!" Rahvin yells, shaking his fist angrily as Galad disappears and Olver snickers from the floor.
"You know I've had each and everyone of those hot entertainers, right?" Olver asks smugly and Rahvin scowls,
"You liar."
"How do you think I got all this glitter on myself?" Olver asks, standing up and lifting his shirt and Rahvin reaches for his knife.
Galad rushes out onto the field and climbs up the rough leg of a S'redit and is content with simply looking up at the women bouncing around. He wipes drool from his mouth and checks his pockets for zip lock bags.
"This is so boring!" Cadsuane complains from the sidelines and Rand glares over at her,
"Leave if you want, no one will miss you."
"I've decided I'm going to stay and you can't make me go!" Cadsuane crosses her arms indignantly and Bashere sighs,
"Next time use reverse psychology."
"Reverse who?"
Luca rushes over to the sidelines with a bewildered look and Rand stands up,
"Sup?"
"Hey, where's my knife target?" Luca asks and Rand looks around confused, "Uh, Nana."
"Oh, she died." Rand answers casually and Luca exhales,
"Damn, ok. Can I use another of your players?"
"Sure, take Cad…I mean…Cadsuane can't go with you!"
"I'm not your servant, boy!" Cadsuane yells, jumping off the bench and grabs Luca's arm, "Let's go, throw knives at me and whatnot." Luca winks and rushes back to the platform and Rand cackles,
"Don't forget to miss!"
Tuon sneaks up onto a giant boar horse and begins singing and dancing, trying desperately to draw attention to herself. Galad pushes her out the way to watch Adria bend backwards and touch the bottom of her feet.
"The Creator be blessed for making such a wonder…" Galad giggles, trying not to fall off, holding on with just one hand, and Tuon growls,
"Look at me!"
"Hey, shut it!" Petra growls, trying to enjoy the show with a scowling Clarine behind him.
"Look! I'm gonna be nekkid by the end of this song!" Tuon grabs her tight fitting shirt and rips it away, revealing a drawing of breasts beneath.
"No one cares you flat-chested wench! Bring back the Sisters!" Noal yells and Thom giggles,
"Woohoo!"
"Hey guys, can I join!" Aginor rushes to the other decrepit, old men and Thom nods his head,
"Good or bad, as long as you old, you can get in on this!" Aginor high-fives Rhuarc, taking one of the prescribed pills.
"Does that mean I can join!" Bair rushes forwards and all the men cringe and shakes their heads,
"Hell No!"
"I'd balefire the biznatch, but her thread is probably already ash!" Aginor demands as the old men all stand up and waddle away, trying not to trip over their pants.
"Galad, send down a ladder!" Narishma yells from the base of the S'redit as Nalesean and Talmanes try to climb up to reach the entertainers.
"Nah, bro, this here is my prize." Galad chuckles, wondering how the leg turns in such a way and Luca shakes his fist at Talmanes,
"Get off, get off! You'll startle them!"
"This is more important than a couple dumbass elephants!" Narishma yells, swinging Callandor around wildly and the giant boar horse begins stomping nervously.
"Ack, stop it!" Galad yells, trying to regain balance and the boar horse jumps off the platform, cuing the others into a wild stampede.
"I died happy!" Galad yells as he falls over the side and plummets to the ground, trying to use the small plastic 'devices' as parachutes. Luca rolls out of the way as the crowd breaks out into panic, trying to dodge the charging animals.
"It is time…" Dedric says from the bushes and brings his shofa up over his mouth.
"The societies of the Aiel become one this day." Gaul says ruthlessly and Bael rubs at his forehead,
"Become one? That sounds a little gay…"
"Just sound the charge!" Mangin yells angrily, "I get hanged in the morning."
The Aiel leap forwards, sending spears through the air, slamming into the wild beasts and Cerandin falls to the ground in tears over her beloved creatures. Gaul stops at her side with a frown and places his hand on her shoulder,
"Don't worry. When we eat them, we'll cook them slowly." More tears explode from her eyes and Gaul charges away cackling.
"Well, coming up is the third quarter…I think." Rahvin says from the booth, wiping his bloody knife on his pants, "I'm not sure if all the players are alive or if the crowd will be intact. I guess…just come back and find out…" Rahvin tosses the knife down, but quickly re-grabs his microphone, "Oh, and I don't want no damn tomato on my double S'redit burger!"