Chapter 3 Nearly two silent years
Harry cringed at the voice, as though it was poison. It came out soft and with care, almost like a whisper. A voice carried by the gentle breeze, which soften his heart, ever so slightly. He denied it, entirely, the letter, the voice, and the owl. He did everything he could to break their connection, up to the point, which he wished the other had not existed.
He had lied to Dumbledore. Lied about not having a person worthy enough to keep him alive. The truth was there was, and it would be too painful to admit to it.
He had fallen too deep into darkness. He had done too much to regret it. There was no light in his life now, no hopes of turning back. The letter, that voice had caused a flicker of light in his pitched black world. However, it had disappeared as soon as it came, and so he denied its existence. The road, his path was already laid out in front of him. Though he could not see it, he could feel it.
Harry sighed, as he realized that his thoughts had wandered again. He was now officially sixteen and he knew that he could not afford to waste anymore time. Many things needed to be done, as he now was a fugitive, with both the good and the evil searching for him. Now, more then ever, he felt isolated and alone in the world.
"Sirius, where are you? Come back. Please, I need you now, more then anyone else."
Harry squatted, with his knees pulled against his body.
"Remus…help me…save me…"
Having done that, Harry laid back, closed his eyes, and let sleep take him. He didn't notice when there was a sudden gust of wind, which blew some scraps of newspaper and other clippings away to reveal bare, dirt floor. Then as if by magic, two words and three capital letters appeared.
"I will."
Underneath was printed RJL, who just so happened to be the person, which meant everything in the world for Harry.
Almost two years later, sometime in April, Spring break/Easter holidays
Headquarters, Number 12 Grimmuld Place
"It's nearly two years…" McGonagall, the new headmistress of Hogwarts said, at the opening of another Order meeting. "and still no sign of either or THEM"
She glanced at all those who were attending the meeting, each with their heads bowed, as though ashamed of the incident which left Dumbledore in a very unstable condition, with full signs of old age showing.
"and both of THEM have been too quiet, way too quiet."
No one replied. This had become a routine, an Order meeting every two days. The topic never changed. It had once been about HIM, when HE was the only threat, but now, it had turned into THEM, the equivalent of two HE's.
"Do you think HE's working for HIM now…?" Tonks asked tentatively.
To this group, and the rest of the world, it was obvious as to exactly who the women was mentioning. However, to the 'outsider' it would have been a confusing subject.
"Quite frankly, I think its possible…." Arthur replied, stating what no one wanted to hear. "I mean, with THEM being so quiet and all. It's possible that THEY are planning something big, and shocking, not to mention devastating."
The twins nodded in agreement to their father.
"and then throw in some pranks," George rubbed his chin, as his twin finished off for him.
"We reckon it'll be bad, really bad, especially since he was technically raised by two Marauders."
If Remus was around, he would have cursed them, as the topic of him not being the legal guardian that Harry so desperately needed, would have risen. Molly would have for one, brought up the topic and then blame it on Remus, for being exactly like Sirius, the irresponsible Godfather. Reminding him, slapping him hard in his face with a 'how could he let his best friend's son turn evil, without doing anything about it.' However, since the incident, she had never again, nor has anyone else, called Harry his or her own, or in fact spoke of him, by name, with a tone other then complete bitterness. Only Remus stuck to all of that, committed to doing all of it. Even Dumbledore seemed to have lost hope in his favorite pupil.
Perhaps that was another reason why Remus stuck to himself. He believed in something that no one else did. He believed he could make changes, and turn Harry around, open light to where darkness had befallen. Everyone seemed to have given up on the teen, even though it was only one incident, one incident too much. So Remus too had somewhat become isolated, different, separated among the others. He was treated fairly, and decently, no one giving him a cold shoulder just because he stuck to the fact. Remus took his job of being Harry's legal guardian seriously. No one really knew what he did all day, or when he ate, he was just locked up in Padfoot's chamber all day long, even on full moons. It was rare for anyone to see him so he had become somewhat mysterious and secretive.
There was an uneasy shift among the group, and a forceful laugh or two, provided by the twins themselves, as they always became touchy when it came to blaming who was responsible for the way Harry turned out to be.
"That's not true, and you know it. Fred, George, if there are any pranks involved, it was taught by you guys."
"Awe Cho, .have some humor! The two of us are in the Order to decipher all the pranks that might be used."
That was a fact. All Order members, served a purpose. No one could join just because they wanted to. Mad-Eye and Tonks was in the Order because of Auror skills, and Snape because of his Potion Mastery.
"Well it is obviously better then to be in the Order, just because you use to be HIS girlfriend, and so there is a high chance that he might contact you" Fred continued.
Cho's face darkened. It was true, and there was no point in trying to deny it. If it wasn't because of this, she would have graduated and become someone else, leaving all behind, especially the chapter about her and Harry.
"Mister Weasleys! Miss Chang!" McGonagall snapped.
She wasn't going to have another failed meeting, as each of the previous ones did, ever since Dumbledore, because of the condition that Harry had left him, was forced to retire as headmaster and leader of the Order of the Phoenix, and she had to take over.
The three did not seem to hear her, as they continued to act quite childishly. The headmistress slapped the table hard.
"A usual, this meeting is going nowhere." She heaved in an irritated breath. "Dismissed…."
The adults shrugged as they stood up to leave. Arthur caught a hold of the twins and led them to an empty room to talk about appropriate behavior, while Molly went up to check up on the younger Weasley's and Hermione. The others merely dispersed around headquarters.
"Cho, why don't you go see Dumbledore? He asked to speak with you."
Cho nodded at her ex-professor before leaving, heading up the stairs, to the room where the headmaster was staying.
The stars were glistening, through the open window. The half moon lighting the room.
He stared at the picture of a young teen, with two older people holding his hand. They were smiling warmly and waving madly at him. He sighed. This had been taken three years ago, when everything was still perfect. The teen in the center had been 14 then, and now he was how old? 17? Almost 18? The man to the teen's right was handsome, his bangs coming down to his eyes, so that he had to swipe them away, every now and then. The years of imprisonment hadn't taken away his features, the way it did to his cousin. The man on the left of the teen was himself, a younger one that he could barely recognize, for he look nothing like that anymore.
His was distraught, old, with age showing clearly on his face. It had only been three years, but much had changed, first with the death of the man on the right, and then the lost of the teen to darkness. He knew he was fighting a losing war, but he would not give up, for if he did so, then he really didn't know how to ever face his best friends, himself, and especially not the teen, young man himself.
"Oh Sirius, so much has happened since you followed in James' and Lily's footsteps. Nothing is the same anymore. Why can't we go back to how we used to be? The three of us were having so much fun.
Tell me what to do old friend. I'm lost and confused. Harry's not dead, but he would have been better off that way. Darkness has consumed him. You had authority over the boy, which I am regretful to say, that I don't. I never did. I was never as strong as you or James. I never stood up to you and now, I cannot do so, when Harry needs it the most.
Tell me, tell me, what can I do? How can I save Harry? What do I need to do? What should I do?"
He kept asking as if his best friend was still there. He tried desperately to seek advice, but nothing came. He looked outside, at the sky, pinpointing the constellation 'Sirius', which now took its form as Padfoot. It was the brightest star, outshining everything else in the sky.
He studied the sky, wishing that he had actually paid attention to Astrology and Divination. He was like Hermione, as he didn't believe in a foretold, set path. He wanted, enjoyed, preferred the freedom of being able to wake up each day, not knowing what to expect, giving it a sense of adventure. However, now, he regretted it. As foolish as the classes may have been, it would have provided some comfort.
After a while, he went back to study the photo. Remus watched, noting that the light from the constellation 'Sirius' shown directly onto the face of Sirius himself, before the light was reflected somewhere else. He tried moving it, switching places, however, the particular thing was, the light moved along with it.
An idea flashed through Remus. He wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. This was Sirius' house, let alone, his private room. There must have been something that the man kept, or had left behind, that he had anticipated on giving to either his Godson or to his best friend. Knowing Sirius, whatever possession left behind would have been very useful, and handy, as that was what Marauder's kept.
Slightly excited, Remus studied the light and the photo, as though it was a Map. Scooping through the room, he finally found what had been hidden, buried all these years. He held it in his hands, dusted off the dust and stared down at it.
He ran his fingers through the familiar outlines, tracing it entirely. It had been nearly 18 long years since he had last seen it. He closed his eyes, as painful memories rushed through him. However, he did not let it hurt him, as it was it the past, and too painful to recall. It was meant for Harry on his 18th birthday, to have been presented by all the Marauders, together. That was what they thought back then, that everything would be well. Who knew then that the four would turn out to be like this: one a traitor, another death caused by betrayal, a third innocently imprisoned followed by death, and he himself, to remain the one to present this present.
Remus battled with himself about giving the present or not. He knew that under these circumstances, it was too dangerous to even think about it. Harry was already dark, and it would do no good if he were aided in a way that would hurt more innocent lives.
No, I must do this. I will honor my deceased friends. I will present this to Harry. What he shall do with it, how he shall handle it is his choice. I must trust him.
Trust that was something he had to believe in. Many years, many things had torn down trust, over and over again. It was not easy to do. He had to trust Harry, in which he did, and still do. That was why he was willing to give the present. He trusted in Harry, with his soul. For if he didn't, then he would be handing a weapon to Harry, a weapon that could fire back at him.
There was a soft hoot, from his owl. Lupin looked at it, but knew that writing a letter would be useless, as Harry never replied. He didn't know if the teen even read the letters, or had shredded it.
"Nah, .no letter." He glanced at what he held in his hand.
"It's been nearly two years, and he never wrote back, don't think letters would work."
Besides, he knew that sending the thing he clutched so tightly in his hand would be dangerous, especially if it was going to be sent to Harry Potter.
"I'm going out for a while. I'll find Harry myself. I must give this, hand this to him personally."
He gestured at the item. His owl hooted reassuringly, as if he understood. Remus took one more glance at the window, Sirius' star.
"Padfoot, Sirius…guide me, lead me down the right path."