With Both Your Eyes Sewn Closed

Entry 4:

It happened in the most unexpected time. I was out walking Soleil, I didn't have class, Brian was at work and I lingered in the park down the street just a little longer than usual. I guess it must have been because Spring was just around the corner or because the sky was just a little cloudy but not so much that it covered the warm rays of the sun, but something made me want to hang around with my puppy a little longer.

We found our little secluded area just beyond the fountain and few yards from the rose garden, where we spent our Sundays playing and snuggling and having picnics. You'd never expect things like this from Brian but surprisingly ever since I was released from the hospital, he's a like a hopeless romantic.

I sat on the grass just outside the private clearing, and Soleil was all over me wanting to play. I threw a stick and he went after it as I watched absently as the children played on the playground and I recalled my own youth and the times I'd spent on the same equipment. I'd also taken molly and the kids I babysat many times to this park and they played on the playground, splashed in the fountain, ran in the grass and played in the pool that wasn't too far down the way from here. The pool was closed now and the fountain was just a ghost of what it would be come the late spring and early summer.

"Hey there Sunshine, long time no see," It was Nick, the last person I wanted to see.

My whole body tensed and I turned, he had his arms around my shoulders now and I pulled away.

"Aw, why so coy, I thought we enjoyed ourselves. I know I did."

"This park is full of people, they'll see if you try anything, and they'll here if I scream." I said, my voice quivering.

"Don't be so sure," he taunted, going to grab me.

I backed off and took Soleil's leash, running as fast as I ever had in my entire life. I didn't want to see Nick; I didn't want him to take advantage of me again. I wanted nothing to do with any of this. I just wanted to go home. I just ran, with Soleil bouncing and running and panting at my feet. I was probably exhausting the poor thing but I wasn't going to stop until I got away from the park and safely in the loft. I kept running until I got all the way up to the door of the loft, I wasn't going to stop and I was looking behind me as I made the final decent up the last step and headed for the door.

And slammed head on into Michael. He was kind of shocked as we impacted like two cars, poor Soleil skidding to a stop to avoid hitting the door. We both landed on our asses like they do in the cartoons when there is a head on collision of two of the characters. I sat there and rubbed mine because it hurt now and so did my head. Michael was rubbing his own head, don't get gross I mean the one about his shoulders. Pervs.

"Whoa, Justin you alright?" He asked, standing and then helping me to do the same.

I just nodded.

"Hey, take it easy, you look like you've seen a ghost!" He said calmingly as he escorted me inside.

"I saw him!" I cried.

"Who?" he asked, and then it dawned on him. "Did he do anything Justin?"

"He taunted me."

Michael held me as I started to sob, mostly from fear because I was so scared Nick would find me and that this time I wouldn't live through it. Michael and his attentiveness to me, my mental state, and easing my fears surprised me. I can't explain it. Maybe Michael and I would finally, really, truly be friends after all these years. Maybe seeing me so scared and vulnerable made him soften and realize I wasn't a monster trying to hurt him or a siren with the intent of seducing and destroying Brian, I was merely a kid, who got the raw deal. Whatever it was, for the first time in my life I felt close to Michael and felt like he was really someone I could trust.

I guess its easy to be surprised with both your eyes sewn closed.