Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones:
Had I your tongues and eyes, I'ld use them so
That heaven's vault should crack. She's gone for ever!
King Lear (V.iii.257-259)

Episode 36: Soliloquy

The sensation of falling. The sound of metal crashing into pavement. The taste of blood. The corporeal world came flooding violently back into her consciousness. She could hear the sounds of chaos nearby; shrieks, gunshots, heavy footfalls running in all directions. White light stung her eyes making it impossible to see. Her body ached, and she felt a heavy weight pressing down on her.
Priss was vaguely aware of activity nearby. Voices floated around her, melting into each other in a garbled mess of words. As she listened to the indecipherable clamor, one voice emerged from the din. This voice was clearer than the others, and seemed to be drawing close. It was calling her name. She soon felt the weight on top of her lessen. Bit by bit she began to feel lighter, and she realized that she was being unburied from a pile of debris. In almost any other circumstance the release of pressure from her battered body would have been a relief; the knowledge that she would survive, a comfort. But Priss did not want to be rescued. She did not want to survive. There was an emptiness in the pit of her stomach; a hollow despair that swelled within her, pushing its way into her chest. She thought it would consume her. The dark shroud of unconsciousness slowly began to wrap itself around her brain, and she welcomed it wholeheartedly. The last thing she was aware of was a pair of arms lifting her gently from the wreckage.

Macky, sit down! Nigel spat irritably at the boy, who had been pacing back and forth in the pit for over an hour.
I can't! This is all my fault! replied Macky, his voice trembling. He, Nigel, and Henderson had spend a good portion of the evening meticulously searching every corner for Galatea, but to no avail. Nigel and Henderson had finally come to the consensus that it would be best to wait for the Knight Sabers to return before trying to find her, insisting that everything would be alright. But Macky couldn't escape the inkling that whispered in the back of his mind, telling him something was very wrong.
Macky said, finally coming to a halt, what are we going to do?
We are going to stay calm, said Nigel, placing his hands on Macky's shoulders. We'll find Galatea, ok? As soon as the Knight Sabers get back –
The door to the pit slid open at that moment as if they had heard Nigel's words. Sylia was the first to step into the room, and as Nigel turned to face her he felt a sudden surge of apprehension. He knew just by looking at her that something was amiss. She smiled faintly when she saw him standing there with Macky, but Nigel noticed something behind the smile; something he would almost call an expression of guilt. Linna, Nene, and Daley came in shortly after. Daley wore an expression of utter bemusement, but Linna and Nene had somber dispositions. Even in their hardsuits their mood was apparent, their sunken body language speaking volumes.
What the hell happened? Nigel demanded. The Knight Sabers looked at each other hesitantly.
We're not sure, Nene finally answered. Priss was trapped inside Mason, and we were trying to get her out, but it wasn't working. He was way too strong for us. But then he just started flailing all over the place and all the other boomers started to scatter, and he came crashing to the ground –
Woah, woah, slow down, said Nigel. Priss was trapped inside Mason? What the hell does – Nigel stopped mid sentence as it dawned on him that the blue Knight Saber was not standing there with them. Where's Priss?
She's here. The atmosphere in the room became thick with a hushed lamentation as Leon stepped through the doorway. He was battered, his clothes stained with the sticky mixture of blood and dirt. It was clear that he had seen his share of the action since he bore numerous bruises, as well as some minor cuts on his hands and forearms. His face was dark even when he stepped into the light. It was as if he was stalked by a shadow. Priss hung limply in his outstretched arms.
The cluster in front of the door parted hastily, clearing a path for Leon. He trudged forward, limping slightly as he went, but his hold on Priss never faltered. No one stirred as Leon passed laboriously through the Pit. They stood like stones, not daring to so much as breath until Leon made his way to a couch that was situated at the far end of the room. Leon lay Priss down gingerly, treating her as if she were made of blown glass. He didn't know how severely she was injured, but her hardsuit was covered in a web of minuscule cracks. Leon slid his hands behind her neck and carefully removed her helmet. Her face was deathly white, save for the crimson trickle of blood that rolled down from her hairline. Leon wiped the blood away with a quivering hand, finding her skin icy to the touch. But as he placed his hand in front of her nose and mouth, he felt the warmth of breath.
Is... is she alright? Macky whispered, breaking the silence.
She's alive, choked Leon, but she's not alright.
What do you mean? said Nigel.
Leon kept his gaze on Priss as he spoke, his voice sounding strange and detached. Galatea's dead.

No! How can this have happened? I was supposed to be a God! I was supposed to have vengeance! She took that away from me. She once again deprived me of my rightful place... my transcendence. Bodiless, again! How can this be? I was so close... so close to snuffing out that pathetic life. So close to waging war on humanity. HUMANS! I loathe humans. They have caused nothing but grief. They are the oppressors of my beloved boomers, and I will rid the world of them yet. I must regain my strength. Silly girl, gave her life for nothing! She has only delayed the inevitable. I will rise again. It's only a matter of time.

Nene stepped out of the Silky Doll into the cool night air, glad to be back in her regular clothing. For the most part, Nene enjoyed being a Knight Saber and liked the way her hardsuit felt. But sometimes... sometimes the hardsuit was just too heavy. Sometimes the burden was just too much for her to handle. It was times like these when she was overwhelmed by the gravity of her job. There was so much at stake, and wearing the hardsuit reminded her of so much that she wanted to forget.
Nene stared up at the purple clouds that blanketed the night sky. She wished for a moment that she was someone else, someone far away from the tragedy that surrounded her. If only those dark clouds would part so that the moon might shine some hope on this dismal place. If only...
said a timid voice from behind her. Nene spun around, surprised to find that she was not the only one who had come outside to think.
Oh, Macky, she said, plastering on a smile that was hardly convincing. I didn't see you there. Macky was sitting on the bench just in front of the Silky Doll. Nene figured he must have gone outside while she and Linna were changing. His eyes were downcast as he kicked aimlessly at the concrete. He had been so quiet, Nene had passed him without even realizing he was there.
It's my fault, Nene, said Macky. I'm the one who wasn't paying attention. I'm the one who let her get away.
You can't blame yourself, Nene said, sitting down next to him. This wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault.
I knew, said Macky. I knew as soon as I realized she was gone that something terrible was going to happen to her. I knew that she was... gone forever.
But if Galatea hadn't done what she did, Priss would be dead right now, Nene said.
I'm not sure which is worse, replied Macky, Galatea's death or losing Priss. We might end up losing Priss to grief anyway.

Priss slowly opened her eyes, allowing golden light to creep in. She was lying in a bed underneath of large window with sheer white curtains. The late afternoon sun shone through the curtains, illuminating the tiny dust particles that floated around the room. Priss gazed at the dust for quite some time, watching the particles flicker and sparkle as they danced in the light. It was strange that there could be so much beauty in something so mundane, so ordinary as dust.
Priss tried to lose herself in that golden ray of light, to drift away with the twinkling dust, but the ugliness of the world would not be left behind. Memories came pouring back into her mind, rekindling the unbearable ache of loss. Priss felt like a vice was clamping down on her heart. She clutched her chest desperately, allowing a soft moan to escape her lips. She felt old. Very old. Looking down at her own hand, she half expected to see a wrinkled palm and bony fingers. Despite her young body, she felt shriveled.
she whispered, her voice cracking as she spoke.
Leon's voice was very close. Priss turned her head, startled. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed. A small table was positioned on his left holding a tray with water and uneaten food that Priss presumed had been for her. Leon looked disheveled. Priss wondered how long he had been sitting there. From his ruffled clothes, unshaven face, and messy hair, she guessed that he had probably been sleeping in that chair for at least a couple of days.
You're awake, Leon said, mustering a smile. You were unconscious for almost three days. Linna and Nene got you out of your hardsuit, and Sylia had a spare room... Priss rolled onto her side, turning her back toward Leon. He knew that Priss was not interested in what he had to say. How she got there, what happened during the time when she was unconscious, none of that mattered to her. Leon hadn't left Priss' side once since she was put in bed. He had sat there, watching over her, hearing her cry out in her sleep as she suffered what must have been horrible nightmares. He had been there the entire time, and he was powerless to help her.
he said, desperate to say something meaningful, she loved you. She wanted you to live, and while she might be gone her love for you is not. Don't do this to her. Don't turn away from everything that–
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW? Priss screamed so suddenly that she caused Leon to jump. She shot up into a sitting position and turned to look Leon straight in the eye. Do you have any idea what it is like to lose someone you love that much? Someone you would gladly give your life for?
Yes, I do! Leon snapped, meeting her gaze. He had never been stern with Priss before in his life, and he could tell that she was taken aback by it. She stared at him with her mouth open as he continued, unable to respond. I lucked out. You ended up being alive after all. But don't think that it didn't feel just as real. Don't think I didn't feel just as helpless. I thought you were dead, and it almost killed me!
It was then Leon's turn to be stunned as Priss collapsed back into the bed and began to sob. He sat there in shock as he watched tears pour out of those golden catlike eyes that he had come to adore. Priss had just lost her child. She was traumatized. Leon knew this. Still, something about Priss crying just didn't compute. He didn't know how to handle it. Unsure of what else to do, Leon reached out and grabbed her hand, trying his best to provide some sort of comfort. After a few minutes, Priss calmed down and the crying stopped. She looked exhausted, and Leon figured she was on the verge of unconsciousness again.
She said that this was how it was supposed to be, said Priss, closing her eyes. She said that I was still needed. Who the hell needs me?
Leon watched as Priss drifted into sleep. As he felt her hand go limp within his own, he whispered softly,I do.