Part 8

Liz

November 27, 2004 - Journal entry 3 for Dr. Leith's Creative Connections class

You know, this is supposed to be getting easier. It's been more than three weeks, but it is still as hard as it was the day I knew that I was going to have to stay away from Max. It's completely my own fault though. I let down my guard. I let myself recognize what he is supposed to be to me - the one. And, now that I know that it's not who I am to him, things are ten times harder than they ever had to be.

I should have just kept to my anti-anything-to-do-with-Roswell plan. Then absolutely none of this would have happened. If I hadn't become friends with Max, then I wouldn't have been forced to confront the fact that not only was he...er, "out of this world," but that I was also in love with him, and likely had been for a very long time. And I wouldn't have become friends with Max if I had just remembered that anything to do with Roswell is just bound to screw up my life.

The absolute worst part of it all is that if I hadn't ever agreed to go out for dinner with him that one time, which resulted in him saving my life, and then in that one magical night dancing with him, and, finally, that one amazing night talking the hours away with him on the roof, with the lights of New York city sparkling below, I wouldn't even know that, not only do I love him, but he loves me, and that staying away from him is really, /ireallyI going to hurt him. Is hurting him. After all, Alex just told me so today. Although Alex says that he doesn't know that for sure, because apparently Max isn't talking to /IanyoneI. Not even Isabel. And I'm responsible for that too - responsible for making him hide behind the tree again, which he admitted to me, that night on the roof, he had always felt like he was doing in high school, because he had to be so careful that no one knew who he really was.

I hate it. I hate that I'm hurting him, and that I'm making him think that the one time he trusted someone enough to open enough, I betrayed him, but I have no choice. It is just something I'm going to have to live with. Because, in the end, I would much rather be responsible for breaking his heart (and my own), than responsible for ending his life.

"You're going to be late." Charlotte pulls the pillow off my head and stares down at me reproachfully.

"I can't do it," I moan. "I can't face him."

"You don't even know that Max is going to be there," Charlotte tells me. "I mean, he stopped calling last week. Maybe he's avoiding you now too. He knows Kyle's coming. Alex told him. So he may just not go to the airport at all."

"He'll be there," I mutter, crawling to my feet. I know how important Michael is to Max. He told me all about it on the roof. I know far too much about Max because of that night on the roof. It's just making all of this worse, because it all just makes me want to be with him even more.

He's perfect. And I can't have him. It's not fair!

"Well, then maybe you need to accept that you deserve to have to face him," Charlotte snaps.

I glance at her, sighing. She is really pissed off at me about this whole thing. Not that I can blame her. I know I haven't been the most chipper of room-mates lately, and I also know that she thinks I'm crazy for blowing Max off. But it's not like I can tell her what's really going on. I wouldn't even know where to start. Not to mention, I can't, because it involves the whole alien angle.

I mean, I can't even talk about this with Alex, which is the worst part of all. And he even knows Max and Isabel's secret. But if I tell anyone, I'll be betraying not only Tess, but Max too, and I don't even want to know what the consequences might be.

And, so, I'm stuck dealing with it alone. Well, mostly alone, anyway. At least I have Tess. But it's not like she's the most comforting presence either. I like her. That's not the problem. The problem is that she's the reason that I have to stay away from Max, which sort of complicates the whole "sharing my heart-sick devastation" aspect.

"Maybe." I simply agree with Charlotte, partly because it's easier, but also because, in the end, I know she's right. It's not like I can avoid Max forever. I do have to go back to Bio at some point, obviously. I've been staying caught up through Charlotte's notes, but it's not fair to make Max do all the lab work. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm already flunking the lab component. He probably stopped covering for me right around the time he stopped calling. Before that, I got two or three emails from him, after every lab at which I didn't show, telling me what had gone on, and that he had made sure that my part was done. I hadn't heard a word from him after yesterday's dissection though. I'm pretty sure that he's about done with helping me out.

See what I mean about the fact that this should be getting easier? Max is starting to get the picture. He's backing off. But, with every passing day, it's just getting more painful. With every passing day I just want to run down to his room and tell him the truth. But I can't. And I just have to accept it.

"I mean, aren't you even excited to see Kyle?" Charlotte demands. "After all, you got back together with him."

I lower my eyes. I may have exaggerated exactly why Kyle is coming to visit, in order to get Charlotte off my case about Max. We're not back together, in case you're wondering, although I think that Kyle wants us to be. But, officially, he's just coming for a visit. Totally innocent. I didn't even invite him. He asked if he could come stay because he's never been to New York before. Because I still consider him to be one of my best friends, of course I said yes. I said yes back at the beginning of October, before anything ever happened with Max. And now his arrival is just adding to the big mess that is currently my life.

So, by now, you're probably all wondering exactly what all of this is about. What happened between the night Max and I spent together on the roof and when he got back from Roswell that so changed everything? Well, I've mentioned that it has something to do with Tess. Which it does. But don't blame her entirely. Because it's not really her fault. She's just as stuck as I am. In fact, the only good thing to come out of this whole mess is that I have discovered that I was right about something. Well, two things actually.

One, Tess is a nice person. And, two...Well, two's a little more complicated.

Remember back in early October, before I realized that Max meant a whole lot more to me than I ever thought possible? When I was convinced that he and Tess would be the perfect couple? That they were made for each other? Well, turns out I was completely right.

Here's the thing. Tess is an alien too. Not only that, but she is supposed to be with Max. Like, they were sent to Earth to be together. I am not kidding. Nor am I crazy. It's absolutely true. And this is what happened so that I found it out.

Two days after Max left for Roswell, I was just coming out of the library when I saw something that made my blood run cold. Actually, it was someone and my first instinct at the time was to turn of my heel, head straight to the campus police station, and tell them everything. I didn't even care then that I wasn't going to be able to explain why I wasn't dead, if I'd been shot. Protecting Max was quite possibly the last thing on my mind in that exact instant. I'm sure you will understand, once I tell you who I saw, that all of that sort of got buried under terror.

Because the person I saw was the man in black. The guy who shot me. Standing right out in the open on the library stairs, staring at me.

We stood like that for what felt like forever. My brain was whirling, but I couldn't seem to move, even though a voice inside my head was screaming at me to run, to find the police, to turn him in. That was the logical side of my mind.

Unfortunately for me, the irrational, illogical part of my brain was still functioning too, though, because it suddenly whispered to me, "Who is he? What does he want? Shouldn't you maybe find out?"

Yeah, curiosity. It's what makes me such a good scientist. Maybe why I'm an okay writer too. The bad part is that it doesn't exactly inspire me to do smart things. Because, I literally took a step towards the man in black, before I felt a hand on my arm, pulling me back.

Turning me head, I was only mildly surprised to see that it was Tess. She wasn't looking at me though. She was staring down at the man in black, a ferocious expression on her face. "Go away," she said, very clearly, and very imperiously.

And, then, much to my amazement, he did. He melted away in a way that sent a creeped out shiver down my spine.

"Are you okay?" Tess demanded, glaring after him. "What did he say to you?"

"Do you know him?" I croaked, my heart pounding at about ten times the normal speed.

"Unfortunately," Tess replied, sighing. "He's my brother."

My eyes widened and I stared at Tess in shock. And, then, because I couldn't help myself - in fact, I think I was momentarily outside my own body watching this absurd situation unfold - I blurted, "Did you know that three days ago your brother pulled a gun on me and Max?"

Something I didn't expect to see flickered in Tess's blue, blue eyes. Guilt. It was crystal clear to me in that instant that she had indeed known. Which, much to my surprise then, but not now, she actually admitted, "I knew."

I brought my hands up around my mouth and just stared at her. "What on Earth is going on here, Tess?" I finally managed to whisper.

She closed her eyes briefly, took a deep breath, then looked at me again. "I'm going to tell you, Liz. But you have to promise me you're not going to freak out." She glanced around, then said, "We can't do it here though. We need to go somewhere private."

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" I exclaimed, finally getting control of my senses again. "Your brother is a complete maniac! And you knew?"

"You're all right, aren't you?" Tess demanded impatiently. She glanced around again, looking tense. "Liz, please keep your voice down. People are starting to look."

"I don't care, Tess!" I replied, my voice lowering slightly in spite of myself. "I want to know what's going on, right now."

"It's really very simple," Tess said, finally conceding, when it was clear to her that I wasn't going to leave the stairs in front of the library. "He was trying to kill you. It never once crossed his mind that Max would heal you, out in the open, in public."

I felt my heart stop. How did she know? How did she know that Max had healed me? Had her brother witnessed it? Was that why he was stalking me now? What did he want? What did they both want? And how could she talk so calmly about her brother wanting to kill me? What was wrong with her?

Tess seemed to see all these questions cross my face, because she lowered her voice, and said quietly, "Liz, you have to trust me. I'm not going to hurt you, and he won't hurt you again either, as long as you come with me. But what Max did...It's changed everything. And he's pissed."

"Why?" I demand. "What does he care?"

"He cares a lot," Tess replied wearily. "Too much." She reached out, touching my arm pleadingly. "Liz, please. Please just come with me."

I looked at her, hard. Her eyes were guileless. I realized that I trusted her. I don't know why, but I did. "Okay," I agreed. "I'll come."

Which was how we found ourselves in the stacks at the library, hidden far in the back, holding a whispered conversation that changed everything.

"He's not really my brother," Tess started off by saying. "He's...well, it's hard to explain who he is. Let's just say that he's like an older brother. Protective, looking out for my best interests."

I felt another shiver descend my spine, and wondered again if I'd made a mistake in trusting Tess. "How was shooting me in your best interests?" I demanded.

Tess shook her head, rolling her eyes. "He doesn't understand human emotions. He thought that just by getting rid of you, Max would forget all about you, and be able to move on with me."

I pressed my lips together. "What do you mean he doesn't understand Ihuman/I emotions?" I asked carefully. It was pretty clear to me by now that Tess somehow knew the truth about Max - after all, she knew he had healed me of a gunshot wound - but I wasn't going to come right out and say it. I wouldn't betray him like that. Not on purpose.

Tess raised her eyebrows impatiently. "Liz, c'mon. You must have guessed by now."

"About what?" I knew I was being evasive, but I didn't care.

"That I'm an alien too," Tess replied, so casually, it was like she was telling me the time of day. "Or at least partly. But my brother isn't even that. He's all alien. A shapeshifter."

I felt my eyes widen. My legs felt weak. "I think I need to sit down," I muttered.

"So, sit," Tess said. I allowed myself to sink to the floor between the stacks, still staring at her. She lowered herself too, so that she was seated across from me, her legs crossed. She placed her elbows on her knees and leaned forward. "I'm trusting you here, Liz. You have to promise me that you won't tell Max."

"What? Of course I'm going to tell him!" I exclaimed. Tess looked around nervously, then glared at me. I lowered my voice. "I mean, he thinks he's all alone!" I didn't want to tell her about Isabel and Michael if she didn't already know. It wasn't my place to do so. Really, none of this was my place. Of course I was going to tell Max about her.

"Liz, you can't. Please! If you do, I don't know what he'll do!" I could see real fear on Tess' face.

I felt my heart go out to her. "Who? Your brother? I thought you said he was here to protect you! He'll hurt you?"

"Not me," Tess explained. "Max. If Max doesn't do what our guardian wants..." She trailed off, tears filling her blue eyes. "Liz, he'll kill him."

"I don't understand," I finally said. I reached out and squeezed Tess's hand, because she was extremely upset by this point. Heck. So was I. But one of us had to hold it together. "Maybe you need to tell me everything."

And, so, she did. She told me how she, Max, Michael, and Isabel (she did know about Max's best friend and his sister after all) were half-human/half-alien hybrids. How they had been in the crash of '47 (like Max suspected, but didn't know for sure), and how they had been incubating in pods, all four of them together, but Max, Michael, and Isabel broke out of theirs first. Tess was left behind, and her Iguardian/I (the man in black) had come for her, and she had lived with him ever since. He sometimes posed as her father, sometimes her brother, but he never left her alone.

She told me about how her guardian was also Max, Michael, and Isabel's guardian and that he had been looking for them for years. That he had finally tracked them down to Roswell and had arranged for Tess to be enrolled at the same school as Max, because it was imperative that the four of them be reunited, but most particularly Max and Tess.

She told me all of this, and more. It was like once she started, Tess couldn't stop. The more I reflect on it now, the more I'm sure that she had never - not once - been able to open up to anybody about the truth. It was like a cleansing of her soul or something, telling me the whole, long story.

"But why can't I just tell Max this?" I finally asked, when she slowed down, obviously needing to take a break. "Why can't you? You have to know that he'd accept you. He likes you already. A lot. They'll probably be thrilled to have someone else like them around."

Tess glanced down, sighing. "I wish it were that easy." She looked up, grimacing, then continued, "It's because of you, Liz. If you didn't exist, maybe I'd be able to."

I stared at her. "What? Why do I even matter?"

"Because he loves you," Tess replied simply. "And because of it, everything is all screwed up. Our guardian is totally pissed off about it. He thinks it's my fault. That I should be able to make Max care about me, but I can't. He's already in love with you."

"But, I still don't get it," I told her, because I didn't. "Who cares? I mean, they'll accept you. I'm sure of it."

"I don't doubt that," Tess told me. "The real problem is that it's not enough. It has to be more than that." She frowned, as though trying to figure out the best way to explain exactly what was going on here. Finally, she just blurted it, because I don't think she would have been able to say it otherwise. "The thing is, Max and me...We're supposed to be together. Like romantically."

I felt my heart drop into my shoes. "I don't understand," I whispered. "Why?"

"Because, it's what was before. Liz, this is going to be really hard for you to hear. I mean, it's hard for me to understand, even, but it's what is. All of us - me, Max, Michael, and Isabel - we've lived before. Max was my husband. We were killed, cloned, and sent here in order to become strong enough to go back and free our planet. But most importantly of all, we were sent here to assure the succession. To have children."

I didn't quite know what to say. It was so beyond my realm of comprehension, all I could do was stare at her, my mouth hanging open slightly.

And, yet, I believed her. She was so deadly serious, I had to. It didn't hurt that she also reached into her bookbag and pulled out a strange silver book. One that couldn't be anything but alien. One that had pictures of Max, Tess, Michael, and Isabel in it. Pictures that very clearly showed exactly what Tess was telling me.

Finally, once my brain stopped whirling, several minutes after I'd flipped through the metallic pages, and managed to put together a coherent thought, I said, "The succession? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"That Max is a king?" Tess asked. When I nodded, she nodded too. "Yeah. He lost his throne in a civil war that's being fought on our home planet. Our guardian's faction wants to restore the monarchy."

"But then why would your guardian threaten to kill Max? He needs him!"

Tess rubbed her temples wearily. "Sure, he does. But only as long as he can use him to get what he wants. He's our protector, but he's also the one who tells us what to do. It was him and his people who brought us back. And if Max isn't willing to do what they want him to, they'll just get rid of him and use someone who will."

I frowned. I didn't even want to think about the idea of anyone "getting rid" of Max, so I ignored that for the moment, focusing on the other aspect of what Tess had said. "But who?"

Tess shrugged. "I don't know. Michael and Isabel, maybe? Isabel was Max's sister in our other lives too, so she's next in line to the throne."

"Isabel and Michael would never do anything for someone who killed Max!" I told her. "I mean, that's crazy!"

"I know that, and you know that," Tess replied. "But they just don't get it. They just don't understand it at all. It's too human for them, and so they dismiss it. Whether Michael and Isabel would do what they want is incidental. They'd kill Max anyway, just on the off chance that fear would make them fall in line. And if they didn't, they'd..." She trailed off. "Well, I think you can guess."

I ran my fingers through my hair. I was frightened, and I felt helpless. Why had Tess told me all of this? What good could possibly come of it? All I knew now was that Max's life was in danger and it was my fault. Because he loved me, and so wouldn't want to get together with Tess, his life was in danger.

"So he shot me, hoping that Max would turn to you if I was gone?" I asked, trying to truly grasp the situation.

"I guess so," Tess said. "I really don't understand what he thinks he's doing half the time."

"But, if we just tell Max this, maybe he'll try," I suggested. It was breaking my heart to even say it, but who could tell what Max would do if he knew the truth? I suspected that he, and Michael, and Isabel would give up an awful lot to find out the truth about themselves. Who was I to say that Max wouldn't try to make things work with Tess, if he knew who she was to him?

She had been his wife. I mean, how can I compete with that? It's impossible! I couldn't even try. And if he was safe, I'd even be happy about it. Because, finally, after five days of knowing the truth about Max's origins, it was only then, during that conversation with Tess that I understood just how dangerous Max's life is. I don't even think Max understands yet. Of course he fears the FBI, and the government, and all the boogie men he and his siblings have seen in alien movies. But he has no clue about any of this! About past lives, and planets fighting civil wars, and protectors who would sooner kill him than see him fail in the mission he had been set, even though he doesn't even know the mission exists!

"That's the other thing," Tess told me. "Our guardian has decided that it isn't enough for Max to just be with me. He wants him to choose it for himself. To prove to their faction that they will be able to trust him to be the king they need him to be."

"That's ridiculous!" I said, my voice rising.

"Don't you think I know that?" Tess demanded. "I mean, any fool can see that he has no interest in me that way. He's so dead gone on you, I can't even use my gifts to..." She trailed off abruptly, wrinkling her nose. It was obvious that she had been about to say something she hadn't meant to.

"What do you mean use your gift?" I asked. "What can you do?"

Tess sighed, then explained. "The other night, at the party, I could tell that something had changed between the two of you. I still didn't know exactly what had happened. I mean, it was bad enough when Max was just in love with you. It seemed pretty clear that you weren't interested though. I was just hoping that he'd finally let it go, and everything would work out. But, then, suddenly, it seemed like you were interested. Anyway, when Max showed up at the party, I was going to try to get him alone, to tell him everything. So that, at least, before he went ahead with you, he'd have all the facts."

"What happened? Why didn't you?"

"He was all upset. Distant. So, I used my gift to nudge his mind a little bit. Just to get him to leave with me. But, the minute he saw you, he broke out of it. I had no chance at all." She lowered her gaze. "He's totally gone on you. There's no fighting it."

This statement warmed my heart in spite of everything it meant. I couldn't help it. I shook my head, forcing myself to focus. "What is your gift?"

"It's called a mindwarp," Tess explained. "I can make people see things that aren't there, and I can convince them to do things they don't intend to."

My eyes widened. "Wow. And he fought that?"

"Yeah." She paused, as though not sure how to continue. She seemed aware of how pleased I was, and it wasn't making her happy. I tried to erase the dreamy expression I'm sure was on my face at the time. Tess seemed satisfied, because she continued, "Anyway, it was only later that I found out what our guardian had done. He totally screwed everything up. He had no idea that Max would heal you, and then tell you the truth. Now our guardian thinks Max is a loose cannon. He was ready to get rid of him that same night, but I managed to convince him to give me one more chance to get Max to cooperate."

"But now you're not allowed to tell him the truth?" I finally understood exactly what the guardian was hoping to accomplish by having Max stay in the dark about Tess. He didn't trust Max anymore, but would if Max chose to be with Tess without knowing about his role on their planet. It all made a twisted kind of sense actually.

"No," Tess agreed.

I looked at her, my eyes narrowed. "So why are you telling Ime/I all this?" But I was pretty sure I already knew. And I didn't like it. Not one bit.

"Because I need your help," Tess replied. She reached out, taking me hand in hers. I could see the desperation on her face, in her very bearing. "Liz, we don't have a lot of time to fix this. They're getting impatient. They've been waiting fifty years to take us home. If Max doesn't fall into line, they'll move on. And they won't leave any evidence behind. They'll kill him. I know they will. You don't understand who these people are. They don't care what we want. We're pawns."

"Tess, this is terrible! I can't just help you to railroad Max into something he knows nothing about!" I replied, my voice low, but my tone firm.

"You don't have to," Tess replied. "They're willing to be patient if there seems like there might be a chance that he'll go along with it on his own. But as long as you're in the picture, they won't see it that way."

"So you want me out of the picture?" I said. My heart was in my throat. I could feel tears starting to gather in my eyes. The mere idea of "getting out of the picture"...of not being a part of Max's life - of Max not being a part of my life - was suffocating. I couldn't even imagine it, and it had only been five days since I'd realized how I felt about him.

It made me realize that Tess was right. If I was going to do this, it had to be now. Because if it was this painful to even contemplate it after two sort-of dates, I couldn't imagine what it might be like even a week later, when I'd spent more time with Max. When I'd fallen even more deeply under his spell.

Because that's what it sort of felt like he'd done to me. Cast a spell or something. He'd put a force on me. There was no other possible explanation for why I felt such an overwhelming need to be with him, and, yet, to protect him at the same time.

"I just don't see any other way," Tess told me, sounding upset. "I...I know it's going to be hard, Liz. And I'm sorry about it. But his life is in danger. I swear it is. Maybe, if we give it some time, it won't always have to be this way..." She trailed off helplessly.

I looked at her closely, wiping away my tears ruthlessly. There was just one thing I needed to know before I agreed. Because Tess was right. If Max's life was in danger, there was no choice. It didn't matter how much it hurt, or how much it was going to hurt him. I had to do it. I had to get out of his life.

"I just need to know one thing, Tess," I said.

She nodded with understanding. "Anything."

I paused, then said in a rush, "Do you...I mean, do you think you love him?"

There was a long silence, then Tess replied honestly, "I think I could. I mean, I've known about him my whole life. I've been waiting to meet him since the day I was born."

"I don't care about any of that," I told her firmly. "I don't care if he was your husband before, or any of that alien stuff. I'm talking about Max. Do you think you love him? Even if none of the other stuff existed, would you love him?"

Tess twisted her hands in her lap. She seemed uncomfortable, but finally she nodded. "Yeah."

And it was in that instant that I knew that I had no choice but to trust that Tess Harding was telling me the truth.

Because I believed her.

So now you know. You know why I've done what I've done. Why I've completely shut Max out, and why I've made myself miserable. I had no choice. I have no choice. And, after three weeks, it seems like Max has finally gotten the picture.

It should be a relief. It's not. Because, as stated above, every day, it's only getting harder. I am dreading the moment when I see Max face to face, because I miss him so much, I really think I might throw myself at him, the danger to his life be damned. I'm dreading seeing the hurt I have caused him, because I know I'll see it, if it's there.

But that's not the only thing I'm dreading about seeing him. I'm even more scared that we'll come face to face and it won't be there. There won't be any hurt because he'll have moved on already. Maybe he just won't care at all.

I haven't really spoken to Tess since Max got back. We agreed that we needed to keep a low profile around each other, because we didn't want anyone to suspect - especially her guardian - that she'd had anything to do with convincing me to stay away from Max. For all I know, they're already together. For all I know, he now knows who she is, and he's realized that it would never have worked with my anyway because we're too different. I mean, she's Ilike/I him. He's got to find that attractive. After all, he must have found something about her attractive because she was the one who sprang instantly to mind when he lied to me about liking someone else back in September. That had to mean something.

Yeah. So you can see why I'm not too thrilled about the possibility of coming face to face with Max at the airport. With the added bonus of having Kyle there. Because that won't be at all awkward.

Which is why I almost creep into the terminal at JFK. I am fully planning to hide until right after Kyle's plane lands. I'll then head straight for the gate, and hopefully he'll be off the plane before Michael. I can't imagine that they're sitting together or anything. I mean, they hardly know each other! Maybe I'll somehow be able to avoid Max entirely, although this seems unlikely. I fully intend to keep an encounter as short as possible though.

Of course, nothing is ever that simple. Because, when I finally make it to the gate, after the plane from Albuquerque has already landed, Max is, of course, the first person I see. He is seated on a bench, looking tense. But beautiful. In fact, he looks so gorgeous, my mouth becomes dry. Apparently the old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder is true, because I can't believe that he was always this beautiful. I mean, I would have noticed. Surely I couldn't have been oblivious all through high school. What was wrong with me?

I realize abruptly that the only reason he looks more gorgeous than usual is because I've missed him. You have to wonder how he so quickly became the most important person in my life. It's actually kind of weird. But it doesn't mean it's any less true.

I see Isabel pacing near the gate, but she launches herself at Michael the instant he gets off the plane, because he appears just as I'm walking up.

But Max doesn't even move. Because it's right then that he catches sight of me. His face lights up in a way that tells me that nothing has changed in three weeks. My heart leaps despite myself.

Bloody hell. This is just going to be impossible, isn't it? He's going to make it impossible. And the worst part of all is that I want him to. I'm hopeless. This is a life or death situation here. And I don't even care anymore.

I wonder how I'm going to tell Tess that it's over. That I can't do it. That we're going to have to figure out something else. Because I just can't do it. I know I wouldn't feel this way about him if I wasn't supposed to be with him.

Max stands and is clearly about to make his way toward me. It's exactly then that I see him. The man in black.

He is standing near the luggage carousel, his arms folded, and he is staring right at me. He has a completely different face, but I know it is him just as clearly as if he had come up to me and told me so. It's the eyes that do it. They are cold, and hard, and frightening.

I glance around, looking for an escape. I can see that Max notices. His expression darkens slightly, and he pauses, as though he's not quite sure what to do. Because, of course, he thinks I'm looking so panicked because of him. Because I don't want to talk to him.

"Liz!"

I turn my head. It's Kyle. My relief at seeing my ex-boyfriend is so great, my knees actually weaken. "Hi!" I exclaim. I glance over my shoulder. The man in black is gone. I may have even imagined him, but I don't know that for sure, so I realize that putting on a show right about now is probably a good idea.

It's actually not even much of a stretch when I throw my arms around Kyle in greeting. After all, I am glad to see him - not just because he's saving me - saving Max - but because I have missed him.

"Hi back!" Kyle says gruffly. He pulls back, looking me in the face. "You look..." There's a long pause. I think he has become aware of my frantic expression, because he finishes abruptly, "Great." I know he doesn't think that at all. I'm sure I presently look mildly insane. Because that's how I feel.

"You too," I reply sincerely, taking a deep breath. I have to be normal. And he does. Look great, that is. He looks tanned, and healthy. I motion down at the walking cast on his foot. "Except for that of course." I knew that Kyle had broken his ankle a few weeks before, during practice. It was almost better, but he wasn't playing again yet. It was the only reason he'd been able to come up to visit.

"Yeah, well." He shrugs. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that. I'd have to play this weekend." He paused, then grinned. "Okay, that's an exaggeration. I'd have to sit on the bench. So, it's just as well."

"Well, I'm glad you're here," I tell him. And I mean it. He is going to be just the distraction I need.

I glance around carefully. There is still no sign of the man in black.

I realize though that there is also no sign of Max, Michael, or Isabel. They are gone. My heart falls slightly. Well, apparently my display of affection for Kyle had its desired affect. And not just on the man in black.

As Kyle and I make our way to the cab stand, I'm struggling to hold back my tears.

"Liz, are you okay?" Kyle demands, noticing when we stop to wait for the next available taxi. He is beginning to look really worried.

I smile weakly. "I'm just really glad to see you, Kyle."

"Me too," interjects a familiar voice behind us.

I whirl in surprise. It's Isabel, and she swoops past me, grabbing Kyle by the arm. "Ride with me, Kyle. We have so much to catch up on."

The next thing I know, Max's sister has almost physically forced Kyle into a cab, slamming the door behind them both. Michael is already sitting in the front seat. He smirks at me through the window. I stare at him in disbelief.

And then they are gone. The cab screeches away from the curb and I catch a brief glimpse of Kyle staring out the back of the cab at me, looking mostly perturbed, but also mildly frightened.

I turn my head, not at all surprised to see Max standing beside me, staring after the cab, looking about as shocked as I feel.

"Subtle, Isabel," he mutters. He sighs heavily, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. He finally looks at me. "So. Sorry about that."

"What the heck?" I demand. "Is your sister insane?"

"No," Max replies. "Just pushy." He meets my eyes. "She knows we need to talk, and she knew I was going to chicken out."

I stare at him in dismay. It is entirely clear that there is no way out of this. We are going to be sharing a cab all the way back to Manhattan. Because how can I possibly expect Max to believe that I won't even split the cost of a taxi with him? He'll just get suspicious, rightfully.

Which means that I am going to have to use this cab ride to put on the greatest performance of my life. Because what choice do I have? The man in black's frightening face passes through my mind.

There is no choice. Avoiding Max obviously hasn't worked. So I'm just going to have to flat-out tell him that I want nothing more to do with him - ever.

The problem is, how am I ever going to make him believe it? Just standing here beside him on the curb, waiting for a cab, all I want to do is touch him. It makes me wonder anew how I could ever have thought of him as nothing but a friend. What drugs was I taking anyway? My skin is tingling in a way that I didn't even know was possible, craving the feel of his fingers.

Well, there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. As we climb into the taxi together, I know with absolute certainty that the next half an hour is going to be hell.