Chapter 3: What the…?

Pim Diffy rummaged through Phil's room, searching for money.

"C'mon, where is it…" She murmured in frustration.

"Looking for my wallet?"

Phil stood in the doorway, dangling the wallet in question, just out of Pim's reach.

"Phil, I need it."

"For what?" he asked skeptically

"I want a pair of converse shoes."

Phil didn't believe her.

"Okay, maybe candy."

"35 worth?"

"I'm hungry."

"No, Pim."

Phil walked away, wallet still in hand.

"I'll get you Phil Diffy…If it's when you sleep or while your studying…"

"Study?" Phil asked, still standing behind Pim. "What a great idea!"

"Arghh!" Pim yelled in frustration as her brother began to walk away again. "I HATE YOU PHIL!"

Phil shot back.

"Really? And how does this make you feel?" Phil asked, imitating a therapist, insinuating that Pim needed to see one.

Phil gave up the teasing after that. He needed to grab a clean shirt because Keely would be there to study any minute now. He rummaged through his cupboard full of gadgets.

"Organizer…no…Labeler…No…Wizard…" Phil shuddered. He had made a complete fool of himself last time he used that. Although Keely had said it would be pretty cool to be Curtis and an adult.

"Aha!…" Phil exclaimed to himself. The DNA projector. He had thought he'd lost it when one day he was digging a hole in the backyard to hide his wallet in it and he came across the DNA projector again. Curtis had buried it many months earlier. Not that it came in handy often.

Keely rang the doorbell at the Diffy house. She rocked on the balls of her feet and began humming a song she was working on.

"I can't tell you 'cause I don't know if…" She murmured.

"Come in!" A voice called. "The door's unlocked."

Funny, that didn't sound like Phil… oh well, never mind. Keely strode in to the house, pen and notebook in hand. She couldn't wait to see what wild and wacky gadget Phil had this time.

Pim snickered. She was bad at imitating voices, but it seemed to have worked. She loved causing awkward situations between Phil and Keely.

Keely climbed the stairs up to the hallway where the family bedrooms were. She swung open the door…

"Arghh!"

Phil was half dressed, with his jeans barely on and his new clean shirt still on his bed.

"I'm so sorry Phil!" Keely covered her eyes, even though he was just topless.

Both of them went red at that moment. Phil swore he could hear hysterical laughter at the bottom of the stairs.

"I thought you wanted me to come in…" Keely began explaining. "I'll just…go."

"But you only just got here." Phil said, grabbing his blue shirt and buttoning it up.

"I meant outside Phil." Keely smiled, "you are so melodramatic sometimes."

And are really hot without a shirt…wait, did I just think that? Ewww…

Keely shook her head and walked out the door.

"PIM!" Phil yelled.

"What's the trouble, big brother?" Pim asked in her sweetest voice.

"Don't." He said, narrowing his eyes.

"Don't what?" She asked, the sweet tone in her voice mocking him. "Don't embarrass you in front of…" she took a large breath and fluttered her eyelids "Keely?"

"It's not like that."

"Phil has a crush on Keely!" Pim sang at the top of her voice. Phil ran to the window in his room and stuck his head out.

"It's not true Keely! Don't listen to my kidding little sister…who's kidding." He laughed nervously, trying to cover up his embarrassment.

"Phil, just come down here so we can do the assignment!" Keely called back.

Phil and Keely sat on the back porch, drinking lemonade that Barbara Diffy had brought them. Keely desperately wanted to see the new gadget.

"So, what gadget are we using?" She asked curiously.

"It's called a DNA projector." Phil began, feeling important all of a sudden. "All your relatives from around 6 generations ago will be in this. It scans your DNA, then calculates all your relatives and then lists them in according to importance, you know, like achievements in life, or how biologically close they are to you."

"And HOW was this possible?" Keely asked.

"Time travel." Phil answered simply. "people from my time went back into the past and conducted thousands of surveys. They disguised themselves as people from 'Social Security'."

"Ah…" Keely said, marveled by the brilliance.

"So, do you want to know about your relatives?" Phil asked.

Keely jumped up in excitement.

"Please!"

"Okay," Phil stood up to join Keely. "Stand still and stretch your arms out."

Keely complied.

"Now do ten star jumps."

Keely started jumping.

"Why am I doing this Phil? What's the purpose?"

"There isn't one. It just looks funny."

"Phil!"

"Okay." Phil stopped laughing. "I'll set the projector to 6 generations."

Phil set the small red dial on the scanner to '6'. We then waved the scanner in front of Keely and it emitted a red laser.

"This tickles!" Keely laughed.

"Okay, all finished. Hey look! You're distantly related to Abe Lincoln!"

"Wow!"

"And…Britney Spears…" Phil continued.

"Not so wow."

Phil could see the question coming from a mile away.

"Phil, can we see who you're related to?" Keely asked.

He was just as curious.

"I've been meaning to, but I never actually got around to it."

He stood still as Keely pointed the projector at him, which scanned him with the red light, just like it had to Keely.

"Hey, you're right Keel' it does tickle!"

Keely handed him the projector and Phil pressed a few buttons.

"Hmm…" he said, trying to find a famous name.

Wait…what the…?

Phil pressed the 'back' button.

Keely Tessler.

"So…what have you found?" Keely asked, jumping with anticipation.

"Hey Keely, guess what?" Phil asked joyfully.

"What?"

"You're my great-great-great grandmother!"

Keely stopped jumping. She felt like she had been slapped.

"Keely, are you okay?" Phil asked, beginning to feel worried.

"Yeah, fine." Keely said, but with a fake sense of joyfulness. "Uh…I gotta go…"

And she ran through the Diffy household...

"Keely!"

And down the street…

"Come back!"

All the way to her backyard…

And burst into tears.

Phil couldn't keep up with her. He turned around and walked back home. Over the weekend he would have a lot to think about.

To be continued...

Hey, WHAT A TWIST! Turns out instead of being his 'great great grandmother', Keely is Phil's 'great great GREAT grandmother'! hey, I don't even know if it's possible, but heck, it's fanFICTION. Suggestions would be dandy as cotton candy, seeing as I don't exactly know where i'm going to take this...
I might not update for a while, because I have a huge maths test soon, but at least I've written these three chapters in 4 days...

Please write a review! And check out my other fanfic (but only if you like the O.C.-otherwise don't bother)

so again, I'll ask you to RRRRRRRRR!