Last Minute of Life Chapter 2: Daidouji Tomoyo, my Best Friend, a card captor sakura fanfic

Author's Note: I hope the first chapter wasn't too dark for some of you.

)czakali( - Actually to clear it up, Sakura's 17 right now, she got sick when she was 16, but now she's 17. :P

)Manuca( - It is true, a person can live from (as I have mentioned) as little as two months up to even 15 or 20 years. It all depends on what kind of person they are. So that girl may just have rather lucky. And no, it's impossible to "recovered". You can survive it for a long period of time, but the virus will ALWAYS be there. You've probably just misunderstood what she wrote, because AIDS CANNOT be cured.

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Chapter Two

Daidouji Tomoyo; my Best Friend

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I did wake up the next morning, and when I did, I wasn't sure whether I should be happy, or sad, or relieved, or just plain nothing. In the end I chose to just feel nothing.

I had my breakfast as usual, a walk in the courtyard, blood circulation, nap, lunch, nap, dinner, blood circulation, another sleep, and when I woke up again, it was the next day again.

Dr. Ada kept his promise and spied on me for exactly two weeks, and when I did nothing wrong, he patted me on the head and said, "That's a good girl. You've been so fine lately, I don't think I'll be coming here to make you feel imprisoned again unless I get a complaint from a nurse." He collected his stuff—he always takes notes on me every time he sees me—and he turned to leave.

"Wait." I said.

"Yes?" He turned around to face me.

There was on question in my mind that bothered me a lot. "Do you think… I can live past my birthday?"

Dr. Ada sighed and wiped his face as if he were very tired. He sat down beside me and patted me gently with understanding eyes. "When's your birthday, dear?"

"April… April 1st."

He closed his eyes and his expression was of weariness. Then without answering, he stood up, and walked away. When he was near the door, he paused, turned to me and said, "We'll see, Sakura." And he was gone.

I leaned back against my bed and I knew what he meant. It's a possibility, but it'll take a miracle. Only if I'm in some super good health will I live till that day. But I also knew that's not likely for me, and he knew it. With that drastic fall on my health a month ago, it took a huge chunk out of my life. And especially with my emotional health and constant mood swings, with the unstableness of my life and constant craving for excitement, I knew I wasn't going to get far.

"I need a miracle…" I muttered to myself. And once again, I found myself crying. The doctor had said it's not healthy for me, and in that brief moment, I felt such a will to live, so I swallowed to stop my tears, but my lips wrenched into a strange position, and I just cried even harder while biting my lips to stop it. This birthday was so important to me because it'll be my eighteenth birthday, I don't want to die without being an adult yet!

But that is not in my control, what is meant to be is meant to be, unless, like I said, by some miracle, a mythical human being suddenly decides to reveal his true powers by inventing a cure for me, otherwise, I have no hope.

I cried softly to myself, at the dread that is to follow.

Tomoyo came to visit me that day. Yes, my best friend, Daidouji Tomoyo.

"Oh my sweetheart! Are you all right?" She gushed the first thing when she saw me.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just dying." I replied harshly.

She frowned and there were tears in her eyes. "Please!" She begged. "Don't joke like this! This is as hard on me as it is for you!"

To tell you the truth, back when I was healthy, when I wasn't dying, when I was stable, when I was happy, when I had everything, it was rumoured through school that Tomoyo was in love with me more than just a friend. Thought I was as straight as an arrow, I was still pretty flattered to be loved so deeply by more than just my boyfriend even if the person is a girl.

I never mentioned this to her, though, for a couple of reasons. On, if she was a lesbian, she had started dating guys after I'd gone after 6 different ones. Two, here in Japan, calling someone a dyke is a very offensive insult, and I didn't want to hurt her. And three, I had such a positive view on life before, so it didn't really matter to me that much. And plus, I cared for everything so deeply that I didn't have the heart to trigger anything that could possibly hurt anyone, especially my best friend.

However, now's different. Now, I know if she does something to piss me off, I wouldn't hesitate to break that new to her and would keep pressuring until she cries and breakdown mentally and admits.

"Of course it's hard on you!" I replied sarcastically. "That's why you didn't even goddamn visit me once during the past two months."

She was hurt, as she should be. "I did, Sakura, I visited you six times but all six times you were either unconscious or had too much of a fever to recognize me."

"Oh what a coincident that you had to visit me during those times! I got better and was healthy for a whole fucking month and how come you didn't come then?"

She took a sharp intake of breath—so unused to me swearing. "I… I thought you'd still be sick…"

"Bullshit."

"It's true! You were in a coma, weren't you? You had to have your blood cleaned twice daily, had to have food fed to you through a needle, and… they had to help you with bathroom business…"

I glared at her sharply. "I'm not that sick." I replied.

She shook her head furiously. "No, no, of course not…" She fished in her bag for something and pulled out a tape. "Um, I brought your favourite movie here… I thought, we could watch it together… like we always had…"

"Open you eyes, I don't have a fucking TV."

She smiled weakly although I knew my words frightened her as well as shattered her heart. "Well," she said as cheerfully as she could. "I got permission from the nurses…"

At that moment, a nurse came through the door and pushed a TV along with her. "After you finish watching the movie, I want it back, right away. And if it takes more than three hours, I want it back whether it's finished or not. The TV emits unhealthy rays that's not good for a patient such as you, Sakura." And then she walked away.

I glared at her retreating figure and gave her back my middle finger. I could hear Tomoyo letting out a little squeal.

"Please don't expect me to still be that sweet, stupid little girl you've always known, 'cause she ain't coming back. Ever."

Tomoyo nodded with tears. "I-I don't blame you… really, it's actually quite understandable… it's, it's quite all right, Sakura… but, no matter what happens, you'll always be my best friend."

"Good. 'Cause you shouldn't blame me." I didn't reply to her part about the forever my best friend.

Tomoyo is my best friend, still. Although I treat her worse than shit, she still is. There is a reason why I act the way I do towards her, why I'm more bitchy to her than even to that fucking doctor of mine and all my fake friends.

It's because Tomoyo should be in the same position as me right now. No, she shouldn't be, but I think she should. Because after I told her what I had planned to do with my bastard of a boyfriend, she did the same thing. But she didn't get AIDS. No, it was I, the popular, happy Sakura! It's not fair! I'm more popular than her! I had more friends! It's just so unfair!

I hate her so much. It's so unfair, I shouldn't have to be the only one, she should be in this same fucking room right next to me suffering just as much if not more! I deserve better than her! I am better than her! She should be in my position! I hate her!

No, I don't. I don't hate her… I'm just jealous of her. I wish my bastard of a boyfriend were more like her boyfriend, because for both of them, it was their first time, while for me, no clue how many whores were with that bastard before me.

I took the video cover from Tomoyo as she inserted the tape and then sat beside me.

It was 'Titanic'. Our favourite movie. I remember when we had first watched it when it came out, near the ending of the movie, we were both screaming with streams of water literally exploding out of our eyes, and for the next month or so, every time we talked, the conversation would switch to that, and our voice would become all melancholy and full of angst.

Tomoyo glanced at the old hag, then turned to me, and whispered, "You think we should invite her to watch this with us?"

"No. Her limps are broken so she won't be able to move."

"Oh…" And Tomoyo was filled with even more sadness, and this made me annoyed.

She was supposed to be focusing on me, not that that pile of waste over there. "Watch the damn movie." I told her with a growl.

She nodded. But 5 minutes later, she asked again, "Maybe, we can turn the TV a bit so she can see too?"

"Goddammit STOP! ARE YOU PURPOSELY TRYING TO MAKE ME NOT ENJOY THIS MOVIE???"

"Sorry…" She squeaked and we went back to watching it.

We watched from when Rose first met Jack when he rescued her from committing suicide, how at first Rose didn't want him, but ended up realizing the truth anyways, and how he gave her the ability to fly. The song was playing in the back, and my heart was aching. It's not because my organs are dying, it's because the music was the same as when Jack died.

Such a paradox isn't it? This music, it's slow and sad, at the same time romantic. I remember the first time I watched, my eyes were wet because of how romantic those two seemed, never had I imagined this song could bring such sadness to me after seeing the final of the movie.

I know you would find this hard to believe, but my bastard of a boyfriend and I, used to be just like those two famous lovers. Honestly. When we had first met, and first went out, we couldn't keep apart. We kissed constantly and he showed me nature in a way I could never imagine. He made me realize that everything in this world can be romantic and sweet and suitable for lovers. He brought me gifts and often complimented me. I felt so close to him then, as if we were both the sky of oblivion, intertwined together into one, whole, eternally inseparable being just drifting along in each other's presence, soaking up each other's love… But then… he began to want to go further…

And you know what happened after that.

Tomoyo was sniffing beside me, dabbing at her eyes. I didn't not cry, though normally I would've. My heart is ice. It's made out of stone. Nothing, will ever, move me, to trigger sadness that deserve tears. The icy stone, knows only annoyance, self-pity, and hate. Especially hate.

Rose and Jack are making out in that car, now they're running away from Lovejoy, and finally, they saw the hit of the ice burg. That huge block of doom that would separate all and kill the innocent.

And now, Rose is jumping back into the ship, she cannot bring herself to leave him, and Cal is shooting at them in jealousy.

Before you know, Jack is now floating in the freezing cold water with Rose on that piece of wooden board.

Then… then… Oh God, I'm losing it… Oh dear God… get a grip Sakura! And then… and then… the music… that sound, that romantic sound that's now nothing but sheer broken sorrow… The boat is coming to rescue, rescue Rose… but Jack… Jack… Oh God, Jack! He's dead… gone… like, like I will be… soon…

Get a grip Sakura. C'mon! Stop this! Nothing can move you, remember?

Tears threatened to spill. It's already shocking enough that I had managed to not cry, but I don't know if I can hold it much longer.

Hate. Think of hate. Not sadness. Goddammit, hate somebody!

And then it worked.

I hated.

The hated burned like a never-dying flame inside of my diseased corpse.

I hate Rose.

Fucking bitch.

If she hadn't jumped from that boat onto the ship, it would be Jack right now who's floating on the wooden board, and getting saved, and they'd both live.

My tears immediately left and my heart stopped hurting, it was filled with hot flames devouring me inside out.

I HATE ROSE! THAT DAMN BITCH!! IT'S ALL HER FAULT! STUPID NO-BRAINED BUFFOON! GET A CLUE! IF YOU'RE STUPID AT LEAST KNOW IT! SO THAT YOU DON'T FUCKING MAKE SOME MORE WORTHY PERSON LOSE THEIR LIFE!

DAMN YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! THIS COULD'VE BEEN A HAPPY ENDING! IT'S JUST SO UNFAIR! AND YOU GET TO LIVE TILL LIKE NINETY YEARS OLD AND LOOK UGLY LIKE A FAT ASS FAG SITTING WARMLY WHILE JACK IS DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DAMN SEA PROBABLY STRIPPED OF ALL FLESH AND LEFT WITH CHEWED UP BONES!

DAMN YOU! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE! DON'T YOU GET IT? HE SAVED YOU AND NOW HE'S DEAD! FUCK YOU! YOU SHOULD'VE JUST DIED WITH HIM THAT NIGHT!

"Sakura?" Tomoyo looked at me frightfully with tears all over her face and neck. The movie had ended with a "happy ending". And I realized I had been breathing too rapidly.

"What?" I snapped.

"You're, you're not crying… aren't you sad, at all?"

And I exploded before I could help it. So much anger building inside me, and one little trigger set it off like an atomic bomb—uncontrollable and dangerous.

"WHAT THE HELL? IS THIS YOUR PLAN HUH? HUH? ANSWER ME DAMMIT! IS THIS WHAT YOU WERE PLANNING TO DO? YOU'RE SICK OF ME NOW, AREN'T YOU? YOU'RE SICK OF THE PERSON I BECAME NOW AND YOU HATE ME FOR IT! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN'T JUST COME ALONG AND TRY TO TRIGGER EMOTIONS IN ME TO CHANGE ME BACK, UNDERSTAND BITCH? I'M NOT JUST SOME CLAY YOU CAN MOLD INTO ANY SHAPE THAT PLEASES YOU!"

"Sakura… I…" More tears poured out of the corner of her eyes, but all I knew was hate. "I just wanted to show you this movie, because it was special to us… I thought you'd like it…"

"LIKE IT MY ASS! AS IF I'M NOT SAD ENOUGH EVERYDAY, YOU HAVE TO BRING ME SOME MOVIE ABOUT PEOPLE DYING WHILE TRYING TO MAKE ME EMOTIONAL AND BACK TO THAT FUCKED UP GIRL I WAS AND PROBABLY GET SOME DISEASE THAT'S LIKE AIDS AGAIN AND QUICKEN MY DEATH!"

"Sakura! No…" She wailed. "You know I would never do that!"

"Now do I?" I replied coldly. But I just couldn't stand looking at her face anymore. I hated her so much! She's alive and well even though we've done only the same things! I hate her! She's supposed to be dying too! I stumbled out of bed roughly and gave her the coldest glare I had ever given anyone throughout my life. "I HATE YOU DAMMIT! YOU FUCKING DYKE I HATE YOU!! YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE BURNING IN HELL WITH ME!!" With one last mad and frustrated glance I ran out the room.

"Sakura!" She called after me.

But I ignored everything, her desperate cries, the restrictions against me leaving the hospital, the fact I had no shoes on and nurses shouting after me.

I had no idea how far I had gone or where I was. I just ran and ran, my hospital gown blowing behind me, and the cold woke the conscience up inside of me and blew away my hate. At last I was left empty, no hate, no love, no sadness, no nothing.

By now, I've already ended up beside a highway.

It's daytime, everybody's healthily either at school or at work; the lanes were empty.

Carefully, I touched the bare bottom of my foot on the cold concrete, and then I began walking on the very outside lane. I wasn't afraid, not really, because I figured if a car came, I could always just jump out of the way. I'd hit the ground and scratch myself, but so what?

I walked on and on, maybe for hours, I wouldn't know, I was just walking, lifeless with no thoughts, afraid of my feelings and what rash action I would do next especially on a highway.

The whole while as my foot slowly made its way forward, the wind lifted my hair upwards and sometimes when a strong wind comes, my hospital gown would lift too. But it wasn't that big a deal. After all, it's not like anyone's watching me…

The wind snuck into my dress and brushed by my waist and I shivered, goose bumps forming all over me, but I liked that sensation. I know I'm risking another cold, but it's just way too tempting.

Then I was bored, so I began walking one lane in. Then another, until I reached the last one.

My heart pounded the whole time, every step I took was full of caution and fear. The cars would be driving 120km/h, and I must react real quick if I want to avoid it, and also jump to the right side. There's absolutely no room for mistakes, because it would cost me my life.

For awhile all was still calm, just me, the ground and the wind, the three of us dancing around each other, and I dropped my guard by a notch.

My worst nightmare came true, a car beeped behind me.

In alarming haste, I jumped out of the way and landed on the next lane while the car swooshes past me. To my luck, there was another car on the third lane! Thanks to my years of training as a cheerleader, I sprung to my feet and flipped back to the fourth lane and that car scraped by me with the driver glaring at me with cold sweat through the driver's window.

I shivered at what had happened, and quickly, to be safe, I went back to the first lane.

You'd think that taught me a lesson. But that's far from true. It gave me a bit of a tremble, that that's not going to chicken me away. I continued walking alone. This time, I closed my eyes. If a car was going to come, I'd hear it first before actually seeing it, and with my eyes closed, my hearing senses is stretching to their very limit.

The wind soothed me, lifted my hair, also made me cold. But it just felt so good, like I was nothing, but existence itself. If only this was death. Oh, if this was death, there would be nothing to be afraid of, I would plunge down the tallest mountain and have ten minutes of flying—that feelings through the air, watching the swirling clouds dancing besides me, while others under me are staring in awe, pointing, and I would be like an angel, a blessed goddess here to make everything all right—then become part of eternity.

Something wet and cold touched my right foot.

I opened my eyes and looked down.

Blood. There was blood everywhere. My heart pounded rapidly and the sound seemed to have become an insane, endless echo vibrating against my eardrums. But the horror in that frozen eternal moment had been too great in me for me to hear that rapid pounding.

My foot was soaked in the blood and some even splashed on my leg and seeped into my white hospital gown, I began to shake all over. My eyes were wide and staring—I couldn't close them, and my leg refuses to budge.

I wanted more than anything in that moment to escape this hellish scene, this inhuman place where death leaks forever, but the shock was too great. Even if I'd been healthy with a stable emotional state, I would've stood there like a person iced up from the inside out. So imagine. Imagine now. Use your damn imagination and think about now, when my health is alarming and screaming for attention, when my emotional state is one that can blow up like a volcano from a movie that I've already seen at least 5 times before. I felt so dead then, as if the blood on the ground belonged to me. Even as crazy tears traced down my face, as my hands shook violently, as my legs weakened—but I will not, cannot fall into that blood! My body was stiff in a twisted position.

But my legs began to give in, I did not want to become that blood, it felt alive and as if it would engulf me and I would be contaminated with its fresh death. But my legs wavered, and I fell.

I didn't completely sit into the blood; my hands stopped that. My hands dipped into the blood and now I am a girl with red hands, red feet, wearing a red dress, perfectly prepared for my own funeral. I shook even more violently, the tip of my hair attracting towards that blood, threatening to dip in it.

My arms began to shake too—I will not give in! No! I will not die like this!

Then an ear-splitting screech was suddenly able to drag me out of the sickening situation I set myself in. I turned around to see a car approaching at rocket speed—the driver probably figured a little speeding wouldn't matter on an empty traffic—heading straight down the lane I'm currently standing on.

I don't think I was even able to—even had the time to—comprehend a plan in my mind, but out of instant reaction, I suddenly kick the ground and gripped for the grass on the side.

I landed on my side painfully as the car whooshed by with its window down and the driver screaming.

But it's not over for me yet, because there's a reason why this short landing sent such a strong wave of electrifying pain through me. I had not landed on grass, because I had instead hit something.

I pushed myself up a bit and saw that an antler had been pushed into my ribs.

An antler?

I traced it to the root and saw the face of an old and wise deer. It's injured! That was my first thought. But as I sat up more I realized it was much more than just injured. The entire head had fallen off.

"Oh God… Oh God…" I backed away from its blank, grey eyes in horror, only to trip over something else.

A leg.

The deer's torn leg lay there with buzzing flies. I looked to my left.

A hoof.

I looked to my right.

The body of the deer with one leg and two bleeding thighs still attached.

Even in this immense petrification I suddenly remembered for a brief moment the huge puddle of blood I had been dipped into my seconds before, and seeing the broken corpse of this deer I was able to relate.

I began to choke with tears. Already, breathing was becoming a problem for me.

I felt as if I was trapped in a dimension created by Satan himself to torture all his poor, lonely victims he randomly picks out like a gambling game, or lottery, and I just happen to be the next unfortunate thing that's been warped into his realm where only unimaginable disaster exists.

"I have to get out!" I cried. I thought I had lost the ability to speak, to do anything at all, but apparently not. Gathering the absolutely last command and courage left in me, I pushed my legs straight and ran.

I ran and ran. Running was all I knew. I ran with my eyes closed, begging the devil to have mercy on me just this once, I promise to pay him back for his good deed when I meet him in hell.

Yet, Satan was having too much fun torturing me, especially seeing that his dirty scheme had worked so well and had such an unbelievable big impact on me. He continues to chase me with his dreaded torment.

I began to see flashbacks of the blood and corpse as I ran with eyes closed. It was like a short movie put on 'repeat' as I saw everything over and over again, each time seeming more hellish than the last, each time the blood becomes more and the gashes on the deer became large, until blood became my world, my vision, and filled all my sense, and soon the deer was nothing but a huge gross mass of red tissue with glaring, glassy eyes.

I ran faster, squeezing my eyes shut so hard it hurts. Then one final vision drove me to insanity.

The blood and stringy flesh taped themselves to my eyes so everywhere I looked was that; it danced around my nose so that that was all I could smell, it brushed by my skin so that goose bumps were all over me and I felt surrounded. And finally, it approached me, and I felt it all going into my mouth, touching my tongue, and I somehow swallowed.

I snapped open my eyes screaming to the blue, non-caring sky. My cry echo through the atmosphere and burst around me.

My face was covered with tears, and my mouth with a weird taste.

I began to wipe at my face and cleaning out my tongue. But there were blood on my hand so I only ended up swallowing the dead deer's blood and having my face smudged with it too. Horrified, I began wiping my hands on my gown, so now, my gown was dirty with a red hem and incoherent scary crimson patterns that look much like handprints of someone's last burst of cry for justice.

Oh God, I have to go home! I have to leave here! I have to go! I thought. I ran some more and I arrived at a town, I tried calling someone but I had no money on me, I called the police but I could not tell them where I am, then I began asking people around me to help.

I clutched onto their clothing, crying, begging, going on my knees, touching my head to the ground. But they thought I was psycho and only scurried away in fright.

After two hours I found the town strangely empty, and I realized I was a demon to them. They were all scared of me. I see a huge crowd of people hugging together about 8 houses from me.

I am Satan to them.

I stood there and stopped moving, stopped worrying, stopped fussing and just screamed and cried. Can this get any worse? I'm scared of evil, and now to other, I am evil… Oh dear God! Help me!

I wanted to get away from everyone at that moment, I didn't want fear to dawn on them anymore, I do not need more people suffering like me. I ran into a dark and narrow alley, my shoulders crushing against the brick wall on either side.

And just as I was near the end of the alley, a pain shot up my foot as if someone had drove a sword straight up. "AAAH!!" I screamed and immediately lost my balance.

I hit the wall to my right but jabbed my waist on a metal garbage can and hit my head on the ground.

The pain on my foot was so intense that I was actually not only crying from horror but also from the pain as well.

As carefully as I could, laying sprawled on the ground, with the main street just a few meters away from me, I took my foot tenderly and turned it over.

Another wave of pain rushed through my body and I literally shuddered and let out a little cry.

There was a nail.

It drove right into my foot.

There was blood all over the bottom of my foot.

But there were blood all over my body, hands, dress and legs too.

In this condition it is too difficult to tell what blood belonged to me and what did not.

For all I knew I could have a thousand scratched all over me, all bleeding, and I would've thought they were the deer's blood stained on me.

"HELP ME!" I cried. "SOMEONE, PLEASE!"

Very few people came by to check me out, but when they saw me, they all ran away after a gasp.

"No, don't leave me… don't… leave me…"

I was losing conscious, and I coughed up blood.

I remember before the doctor had told me that metal or steel inside my flesh could cause serious infections.

I stared at the nail inside my foot and a tear dripped on it. I knew what I had to do. There is no other way.

I touched the nail that sank into my foot and I closed my eyes. Counting silently under my breath, shaking violently—1… 2… 3…— I pulled it out.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" The pain was so intense it felt worse than when it went into my foot. I wouldn't be surprised if my cry was heard in heaven.

The nail was out but my hand was squeezing it tightly while I rolled helplessly on the ground.

My foot was bleeding continuously from that hole, and then I felt my self being drained. I began to lose. I lost. Lost in oblivion. I am losing to the nothing. Everything began to fade. Feelings, awareness, pain, all of it.

It this what vampire victims feel?

My hair dipped in blood.

The one part of me that I managed to save from liquid death with the last drop of my will—funny I would use the word drop right now—is now failing. It too, now, is contaminated. It's red as well.

All my limbs gave in, and I knew nothing more. No more pain… no more…

The room was all white around me. Everywhere there were blinding lights. I tried to move my lips to cry for the desperate thirst that carved my throat, but I found that I could not move at all. My body was numb all over. I could feel my fingers but I have no control over them. It seemed the only thing still functional to me were my eyes. I looked forward to see a cast held up. A little more searching I realized that that was my leg.

I breathed hard and closed my eyes from dizziness.

Someone stirred beside me.

I looked there.

Tomoyo.

She's still here.

She looked like death though, her face white and thin, her hair messy, her makeup all smudged, her cloth crumbled and dirty. It occurred to me that she had probably sat here with me for God knows how long.

"T… Tomoyo…" I managed to say in a rasped voice, then I coughed.

She yawned and saw me through the slits of her eyes. She almost went back to sleep when she saw that I was awake. It made me wonder how long I was out for. "Sakura!" She gasped. "Oh, baby! Are you all right?" She hugged me.

I groaned and bit my lips in pain.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! Are you ok? Do you need anything?" She was all over the place, losing her mind even.

"W-Wa… Wate… Wat…"

"What?" She leaned closer to hear.

I couldn't get the word out so I swallowed dryly.

"You want water?"

I nodded barely. My body was as stiff as a piece of cardboard.

She quickly rushed away, then came back 3 minutes later, but this time, Dr. Ada was with her.

"SAKURA DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA—" He began, but Tomoyo shushed him and handed the cup of water to me gently, but then thought better of it and fed it through my mouth instead.

"Thanks." I coughed a bit after I finished drinking.

Dr. Ada pressed a button and the bed behind me rose up, putting me in a sitting position. I moaned aloud feeling every muscle in me going into a fit and every bone cracking like metal that was craving oil.

He sat by my bed, more furious than I've ever seen him before. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO YOUNG LADY?? DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD'VE DIED? AGAIN! THE SECOND TIME! IRRESPONSIBILITY! GODDAMMIT IF YOU WANT TO DIE THEN JUST TELL ME!"

Tomoyo gasped and patted the doctor and gave me a sympathetic look.

"WE FOUND YOU NEAR A GARBAGE CAN, BLEEDING FROM HEAD TO FOOT, THE BOTTOM OF YOUR FOOT CONTAMINATED WITH GERMS AND VIRUSES AND IT WAS STILL BLEEDING! AND YOU ALREADY SOMEHOW HAD A COLD THEN! WITH YOUR HEART RACING, AND YOUR APPEARANCE LOOKING LIKE A RIPPED APART RAG DOLL!"

I held back a gasp. Had I really been that bad? What happened exactly? I can't really remember… The bottom of my foot? Bleeding? A cut?

"AND WE EVEN FOUND OUT THERE WAS DEER BLOOD ON YOU TOO! PLUS A SCRAPE THAT WAS BLEEDING WITH THE ELEMENT OF A MENTAL FROM A CAR AROUND THE WOUND! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING? KILLING A DEER THEN RAN YOURSELF INTO A SPEEDING CAR?"

A deer? Car? What…

"THE DEER BLOOD WAS ALL OVER YOU! THE SMELL OF ITS FLESH TOO! THERE WAS MORE DEER BLOOD ON YOU THAN YOUR OWN! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING? AND WHY DID YOU EVEN RUN AWAY? ESPECIALLY WITH THESE CLOTHING? BE GLAD THE DEVIL HADN'T CLAIMED YOU!!"

Deer? What deer? What clothing?

I blinked. What? The blood… oh, the blood… Oh, the deer!

I landed on my side painfully as the car whooshed by with its window down and the driver screaming.

The highway… I was walking there… the car came by…

Oh dear God! The blood! The Devil! The Illusions! The death!

I touched the nail that sank into my foot and I closed my eyes. Counting silently under my breath, shaking violently—1… 2… 3…— I pulled it out.

Oh GOD! THE NAIL WAS DRIVEN INTO ME! GOD!

At that moment, everything became clear to me; I remember everything. And I cried, loud and hard, desperate for the emptiness to come back to me… that emptiness I had known for a while before when all I did daily was cry. I wanted that void, I wanted to be nothingness.

NOTHING CAN MOVE ME! REMEMBER THAT! GOD! NOTHING! I SWORE THAT NOTHING COULD MOVE ME! STOP CRYING DAMMIT!

Dr. Ada stopped yelling and patted me while wiping away my tears gently with his blood-warm hands. "What… what happened, Sakura? What happened?"

I sniffled for another 15 minutes before being able to utter incoherent words.

"I… movie… Titanic… Emotional… Gone, gone with the wind… to leave…"

Tomoyo came to my rescue. "I… I brought a movie with me today to watch with her… it was the movie Titanic. I used to watch it with her all the time when we were younger… but this time, after watching it, she got really emotional, and she was just so messed up and she felt like she was trapped in an evil dimension. She cried, and finally, she couldn't take it anymore and ran away without even putting on her shoes or any other clothing."

I nodded, shaking fiercely all over. They left me alone quietly for another 15 minutes, and I was ready to speak again.

"I, I was walking by the highway… just f-feeling the cool wind soothing, soothing me… and then, all of a sudden, a car came… so I dove away, but I guess it must've scratched me a, a, a l-little anyways… then I w-walked some more… then all of a sudden…" My eyes became glassy and I stopped stuttering and blinking. "Blood. There was blood everywhere. I stepped in it. And I was petrified. But at the same time it was like a powerful magnet. It was pulling me towards it but I would not let it, I tried so hard not to get dipped in the blood, but my hands ended up falling into it."

Dr. Ada was listening to me intently, forgetting the clipboard in his hands and that he was supposed to be taking notes about me.

Tomoyo was just sitting there, frightened, biting her fingernails.

"Then another car came," I continued. "Then somehow the gravity stopped working on me, and I managed to jump to the side… but that wasn't all yet… there were more blood there… That's not all… there was also… a corpse."

Tomoyo squealed, and Dr. Ada looked like he was about to leap out of his chair.

"The eyes were wide and staring, probably been killed for a while but not more than a day… it was a mess, blood everywhere, I felt so frozen… the blood… the thighs… the disconnected head… oh God, the legs had fallen off but the thighs were still attached… oh God!"

Dr. Ada's eyes were wide and he swallowed.

"Oh Christ the fur's colour was different and the antlers were chipped off and—"

He suddenly stopped me. "What?"

"Yeah…" I replied. "The antlers were chipped off…"

"Antlers?!"

"It was a deer… of course it had antlers."

Dr. Ada leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes, then he went back to his clip board, no longer so interested anymore. I wondered at this, but continued anyways.

"And I felt myself being pulled forward, I had to get away, I just had to! Then I ran, somehow I wasn't able to free myself from the magnetic pull, as if gravity became 100x more… but I closed my eyes, and to make it worse, I saw visions of the deer's body, more and more crude each time, large cuts—"

"Sakura, dear," he said, cutting me off. "It's only a road kill."

What?

I stopped. What's going on? He was so interested before… and now, it's only a road kill?

It wasn't hard to figure out, and I'm not stupid.

Hate boiled inside me.

He cared before because the way I described it. He thought it was the corpse of a human being. They were important. The police would be involved, the world would know. But not a road kill. A road kill is something that happens everyday. It does not matter.

I began to breath heavily with rage.

Dr. Ada took no notice of that, and instead, just said casually, "Besides, I think you've imagined some of it too. You did mention you had an illusion following right after. After all, road kills are rarely this bad."

It was at this that my rage was put on hold. He did have somewhat of a point. Besides, I couldn't remember very well anyways. For all I knew the truth I believed to be the 'truth' could've been the flicker of my imagination mixed with the truth that somehow became my version of truth for me.

"Now, for more serious matters." Dr. Ada said, looking at me, leaning back in his chair. "Is what happened to you. You ought to know, and take some more responsibility." He bit out icily.

I nodded, acknowledging him.

"You were found by the police. It's a good thing you called them, because knowing a child was lost, they began a search party, and soon found you here. Immediately they check out your identification and found out that you were a severe patient at the Royal Family General Hospital, and quickly delivered you here.

"You had a cold, blood all over you, and problems breathing.

"We had no idea if you were going to survive or not, with so much disease inside of you, and you were barely alive anyhow. But we had to let you live, and in order to do so, we went beyond what we've ever done before."

I swallowed, and he looked at me, before continuing.

"First we cleaned you, all your cuts, gave your about 15 different immunity shots, you didn't feel anything because you had slipped into yet another coma. We rubbed burning alcohol and drugs all over your wounds. Then, came the real test.

"Taking out half of your blood and switching it with the non-diseased one wouldn't be enough this time, you'd die before it even starts to take effect. We need more blood in you, blood that's healthy, that is.

"This was purely experimental, because we had never done this before, well, we had never had the need to do this before… Anyhow, this time, we took so much blood out of you, there were about 1/8 of your own blood left, and you were on the verge of death.

"Your heart was going mad! We had to fill the blood in you quickly, but it wasn't quick enough. Your heart stopped."

I gasped, and felt a cold shudder coming over me.

"But wait, you didn't die yet, my dear, as you are perfectly alive right now. Because after a strong shock, some delivered oxygen and more blood quickly filled, you somehow drew another breath and we got a heartbeat, and you lived. We were all so relieved!"

I bit my lips. "You took me as an experiment? I had already died? WHAT IS THIS YOU'RE TELLING ME? YOU TOOK ABOUT SEVEN EIGHTH OF MY BLOOD?? OH DEAR GOD! I CAN'T COMPREHEND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!"

But Dr. Ada didn't comfort me; he only continued to talk. "That's not all."

Oh darling Jesus. That's not all? What language is this crazy idiot speaking? That's not all? What the hell does that mean? How much worse can you get??

"Do you know why there is a bandage around your foot?"

I rolled my eyes. "I stepped on a nail, duh."

"Wrong. If you only stepped in a nail it would've healed by now." He rubbed his temple. "It was left there for too long, the disease was spreading and some sort of germ started a headquarter at that cut. We had to perform surgery."

Surgery? No! That's not possible! Surgery is only for those really sickly desperate people!

But wouldn't you be considered desperate? A small voice asked.

I stayed silent.

"That's not the worst part, however."

NOT THE WORST?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

"We had to cut off a lot of your flesh, and I think we may have scraped a nerve and maybe chipped a bone. Depends on how healthy you are, and how well you'll recover, you may, or may not, ever be able to walk with that leg again."

"What…" It refused to comprehend. I refuse to believe that! I refuse to understand what he's speaking…. NO! I CANNOT BE CRIPPLED FOR LIFE!

Tomoyo clutched my hand and wiped her tears with it. "No…" I whispered helplessly. "No… Oh God no…" I think I'm really going in shock. Everything was spinning. I may never walk again… Oh God, all because of that movie, my stupid 'hate', now this is the price I have to pay?

Feeling sick to my stomach, if not half lifeless, I asked the doctor a question, doing anything to distract my mind. "Date… time… the thing… I slept… the time…" I couldn't use my grammar anymore; my brain is screwed. "Time I… the slept… coma thing… long… how… how coma… the time…"

Dr. Ada thought for a bit. "You mean, how long were you in a coma?"

I nodded vigorously, not really knowing what I'm doing though.

He sighed some more and he looked so tired. "Normally, it would've been a month, but with the surgery, the extreme blood exchange, all the pills you're taking, the shock you're going through and all, it's been a bit more over 3 months…"

Three months? Three… three?

"The current date is December 14th."

I felt so screwed.

"And, just thought I should let you know, dear, you're no longer allowed outside of this room anymore, that means even the courtyards are off limit."

I had surgery.

The blood in me doesn't belong to me.

I might not walk.

I'm going to be caged in forever.

I was out for over three months.

I swallowed and the pain welled up.

I wept.

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Author's Note: Poor Sakura, her life is going straight downhill.

Looks like I survived Florida. Next chapter we meet Li Syaoran. And someone else.

6840 Words… Quite a long diary…