Author's Note:

)Manuca( - I'm so glad of those points you made, finally, someone noticed! When Sakura kissed Kevin everybody is upset with her too for degrading herself, because that's the way I portrayed her in the story, but you noticed, yay! Of course I had to write it that way, since they're her opinions, but if you think about, someone who's not been loved for so long needs a little caress from people! And when Syaoran enters, people automatically assume woo-hoo, it's going to a 'happily ever after'. But again, you realized that he might just be nice to her because of his job… I'm so glad you noticed those two things! Because you're looking at this story like it's completely new story and not just another typical already 'ready too many times' story. :) Thank you:D

)xSakuraKitsuneTenshix( - Lol thx. Actually I do pretty well in both angst and humour. I just can't seem to get somewhere in between… / All the dark stuff is pretty much going to stop now. But I assure it'll be back before the ending. Kevin's crap, yes I know. And I liked the way you said it. So simple, so straight, just getting to the point—he's crap. Lol. :P

)l x lmystikalxstarzl x l( - Pretty much yeah. Kevin's the type of guy you love to hate but you just can't find a way to hate which makes you hate him that much more, understand what I'm saying? ;)

-

Chapter Four

Li Syaoran; my Companion

-

The next morning I woke up with a headache as huge and horrible as Godzilla. I swear to God I'm never going to drink that much again in my life. And now I'm also experiencing extreme memory loss. God.

I remember drinking the wine, gulping it down mouthful after mouthful. But why? I'm not too sure…

I had a nice dream after that though… whatever the reason for drinking was, I was very upset, and in the dream, someone came to comfort me… the first person to be nice to me in months… it felt good but also strange…

I groaned into my hands. God I feel horrible. My head is going to split into two soon… dammit! What the hell happened?

Sitting up a bit straighter, held onto the walls to keep myself from falling over. Jeez, what could've made me do this to myself? I'm not even legal to drink yet!

"Would you like some aspirin or Tylenol?"

"Ah!" I cried out in surprise as I came face to face with a smiling boy. "Holy shit! You're not a dream!"

He laughed. "No, I'm quite real, I assure you… alcohol can do some pretty strange stuff to people, especially if you're inexperienced." He said wisely.

I backed away timidly. I still don't know much about him yet, which gives me no reason to trust him at all. I've had my trust broken too many times. "So, you really were here last night…" I said.

"Yes."

"Do you, know what happened?"

He walked to the foot of my bed and picked up two drinking cups. "I put these out of reach so you wouldn't try to commit suicide again at night. Do these trigger some memories?"

I looked at the glasses and could feel another round of tears coming up. But I refuse to cry in front of this stranger. I looked away as I remembered Kevin… and his words… his words that rang over and over again inside my brain and my heart sending a shock throughout my entire being. The wine didn't help after all… it was this boy who helped… what's his name again? I'm sure he'd told me… I can't remember though… "Ugh…" I moaned softly.

"You're quite right, I did tell you my name last night." He commented.

I blinked. How'd he know I was thinking that? "Are you a mind reader or something?"

"Oh, no…" He replied with a smile. "No, I'm quite sure I'm not… just, a hunch…"

I gave him a suspicious look.

He just smiled in return. "Let us properly introduce ourselves, and this time I really do hope you won't forget again…" He stuck out his hand. "I'm Li Syaoran."

I stared at his hand for the longest time. Should I touch that flesh? It's a guy's hand… it's large just like Kevin's… and I don't know him…

I looked away. "Kinomoto." Like hell I'm going to tell you my full name Kinomoto Sakura. I'm not prepared to get to know any more new people before my death; therefore Sakura is off limit.

"Kinomoto, huh. Let me guess, Kinomoto, Sakura?"

I gasped. "What the hell! Who are you? Are you some kind of stalker?"

He turned serious. "I do hope you'll trust me, I mean you no harm."

"No harm my ass! You can practically read my fucking mind!"

He surprised me when he wrapped his arms around me as he had done last night, and I could feel that warmth spreading over my body, calming me down. "You need to chill…" he said. "You need to be warm and loved… you've been neglected and surrounded by cold for too long, and I'm here to change that for you."

Slowly, I gave in and rested my head on his shoulder. "Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm no one important, really. I'm simply volunteering at the hospital here."

"Oh. Trying to get your 40 hours of volunteer hour before high school finishes?"

"No, not really. I already graduated from high school. I'm eighteen."

I pulled back from him. "I'm seventeen and I'm in grade 11. You should be in grade 12 right now."

"No, I skipped grade 5."

"Oh wow… you must be pretty smart…"

He laughed again. "I'm okay…"

"So what are you doing in a dreadful place like this? Aren't you going to college or university or something?"

He looked down for a bit, then back into my eyes. "To tell you the truth, I haven't thought about that…"

"You haven't thought about your future?"

"No, I don't think it matters…"

"Now you're the first person to have said that me… future is one thing teenagers can't rid their minds off of."

"Yeah, well, I'm different."

"I can tell, not many people would want to volunteer at a hospital after high school especially if they're a guy."

He shrugged. "I enjoy working here, I make people feel better and in return, I feel better myself."

"That's great, but you should really think about a future career; you'll need to make a living soon, you know."

"Maybe when that time comes, I will." He replied. Then his eyes landed on my right leg—all bandaged up.

I squirmed uncomfortably. Just with this glance I could feel the dread that lies beneath. My crippled leg… "Stop staring, please…" I said, looking away.

"I don't believe it's crippled."

I blinked. How does he keep doing this? It seems that every time I think about something he ends up knowing! He must be reading my mind! Or is it because I'm speaking out loud right now but just doesn't realize because I'm slowly going deaf? Did he hear that too? I looked up him.

If he did hear it, he didn't act like he did. He simply stared at my bandaged leg.

"What."

And without warning, he suddenly picked up my leg, untied the knot and peeled the white strips off.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I cried.

He looked at me innocently. "I don't believe you're crippled yet."

"Put it back!"

Instead, he threw the bandages into the garbage bin.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU MAD? I CAN'T STAND SEEING MYSELF LIKE THIS!"

"I don't believe you're crippled yet." He repeated again. "The doctor said there might be a chance, but not 100."

Oh great, now doctors are telling private information of their patients to volunteer workers… I wonder who else doesn't know… "You know nothing! If I try and fail, it'll only break my hope more, so might as accept the truth right now!"

He only smiled more. Lending out his hand, he winked at me and said, "I'll make a miracle come true for you today."

I looked away stubbornly. "Get the hell away from me. You're not ready to pay the consequences for my failure, so I suggest you leave while you still can."

He stayed in the same position.

I looked at his hand; the hand I refused to touch even for a handshake. Should I grab it now when I had refused it before when it was simpler to touch?

He seemed to have read my mind yet again, and stood up straight and withdrew his hand. "I just want to see you stand for me."

I sighed in defeat. "Fine, fine, you win." I set my feet on the ground, and pushed myself up.

I stood there perfectly straight and effortlessly.

"There!" He cried with joy. "Now, it'll help if you would start putting pressure on both feet."

Damn. I growled under my breath. How'd he know? I'm standing on one foot right now, making my right foot slightly above my left foot so that pressure doesn't hurt it and he won't notice. Damn this guy. He misses nothing.

"I'm not doing that." I told him. "You must be out of your mind. Simply touching it hurts me like hell, I'm not going to set my entire body weight on it. Go help some other poor bastards out there who may actually appreciate this."

He laughed. What the hell is wrong with him? Does nothing hurt his freakin' feelings? Is he some kind of robot with a steel heart? Dammit! Usually people would be crying right now, or else cursing me to the deepest of hell while running far, far away from me, why isn't he affected at all?

"I'm not going to run away from you, and I'm not going to start crying."

Dammit! He's gotta stop fucking doing that!

He took a step forward so that he's standing right next to me. "Take a step." He said, that foolish smile dying from his face so that his expression was serious. "Just try. I'm right here." He held out his arms. "If you fall, you can fall against me, or I'll catch you, I promise, you won't be hurt."

I hesitated. There was nothing to lose, right?

No. There's everything to lose. Thinking I won't ever be able to walk again is a bit difference from knowing. I don't want to know!

But then again, if I can walk… the joy would be the same as the pain from knowing the opposite. It's a 50/50 chance.

"It's more than just 50/50." He said. "I believe in you. C'mon, I won't let you get hurt."

Delicately, I put my right foot in front of my left, and with shivering hands and cold toes, I set it down, praying, hoping for the best.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A terrifying stun coursed through my body from my foot, a pain that was much similar to when I had stepped on that nail. Losing balance, I felt myself falling, and suddenly I visualized that dark, concrete ground, that unfriendly alleyway, that garbage can lying innocently in the corner just waiting for my waist to be jabbed on it, the people standing near who are just too terrified of me to help… I felt myself falling into that scene again, and I screamed even louder. "NO! NOT AGAIN! HELP ME! YOU CAN'T DECEIVE ME TWICE!"

-

Many things had flashed in front of my eyes during that time. But now, I stood leaning completely on Syaoran with my entire body quivering. He held me by the waist to keep me from falling, and said nothing. "DAMN YOU!" I cried, but did not move from my position; I was petrified by horror. Now I know I will never have a chance at walking. Never will… I am truly crippled…

I don't understand… why is he being like this? And by being like this, I can't hate him! He's not like Tomoyo, who will begin crying right now, which would just make me feel that she's pathetic. He's not like Kevin, who's just completely cold and heartless, which would make me want to slap him across the face and smash a cooking pan on his head and knock him unconscious.

No, but he's not like any of them! He's just here, so patient, so caring, always doing the right thing at the right moment.

I began to cry. "This is all you fault!" I accused. "I told you, I told you I wouldn't be able to but you just had to confirm it didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? Is this some kind of a game to you? HUH? IS IT? TO SEE IF I HAVE ENOUGH WILL? TO PLACE A MENTAL BET ON ME? IS THAT ALL? IS THAT WHAT I AM TO YOU? WELL I TELL YOU THIS IS NO JOKE BECAUSE YOU'VE JUST PISSED ME OFF!"

He waited after I was done yelling, and then he spoke. Gently as always, he didn't sound angry or even the least bit frustrated. "You still have a chance."

My eyes snapped open and I looked up at him even though my legs were still useless beneath me. I wanted to believe him so much… but how can I? I had just proved to myself haven't I? Who is this boy? And why is he so confident? Does he know something I don't? Of course he does, he's a hospital volunteer, they must've taught him a lot… "I… do?" I asked with hope.

"Yes, you do." He smiled and set me down on my bed. "Lean on your pillow, you must rest your legs."

He helped me put my legs up as I grimaced in pain. "Tell me, what makes you so sure?"

"I know for a fact, that crippled people can't feel their legs. Meaning, they can't even feel pain."

I gasped.

"That's right." He chuckled. "If you felt pain that means the nerves in you legs aren't completely lost. The only reason you felt so much pain is because they're damaged. You had the strength to push yourself up then, but the pain was a bit overwhelming for you… but as soon as you can fight this pain, to push it away gradually, you'll soon be like a normal person again."

My lips stretched apart. I could not help but to smile, no matter how much I didn't want to give him the feeling of victory. "Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, trust me on this. For now, you just rest. I'll get you something to eat, maybe chicken soup? Maybe we'll try again say perhaps—"

"No!" I cried. No, I will not wait! I cannot wait! There is hope after all! I will walk again, I really will! A miracle has come to life in front of my very eyes and it's happening to me! I cannot wait that long! "Help me now!" I pleaded that was more like a demand. "Help me! I want to stand now! I don't care about the pain, I will, stand!"

He frowned. "Are you sure? This might not be safe, I'm not sure if you'll be able to stand it—"

"I can! I can! I just need a few more tries!"

Seeing my persistent and hopeful eyes, I could tell he was giving up when he sighed. With my large, watering green eyes I know I can be very hard to resist. However I doubt the reason he gave in was because of my charm… he's not that type of guy… he was probably wavered by my determination.

Syaoran sat down beside me, and in a low voice, he whispered, "There is a way, for you to walk now. It all depends on whether you're willing to make a sacrifice."

I nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes, I'm ready! Anything!"

He fished around in his pocket and pulled out a small tube of creamy white liquid. "Don't think I'm some weirdo carrying random lab specimen around with me all the time, but this is sort of a family secret, it's very powerful and I carry it with me in case of emergency."

"What is it?" I asked, wondering how it could possibly help me.

"It's something that's not available on the market, therefore needless to say, it's illegal." I stared at that tube in his hand and I wanted it. "When you drink this, it will take affect in about 10 minutes. What it does is that it will give you a boost of concentrated energy that will last for six hours. That energy will temporarily fight away all of your disease, or else keep it under control, give your muscles strength, and ease your pains. With all that combined—no pain in your legs, plus extra power—I'm quite positive you'll be able to stand rather easily. It has once saved a person's life… My uncle was in a car accident and he was stuck under the car and could no longer take it. He drank this and within 15 minutes he was able to crawl out from under the car and be driven to the hospital with hardly any moans of pain."

My eyes brightened. This was almost too good too be true! I reached forward to grab it, but he held it out of my reach. "Let me finish." He continued. "There is a huge downfall to this though, and it will occur most severely after your sixth hour is over. This substance is somewhat like a drug, without all the hallucination and depressant and crap. It doesn't just give you energy out of nowhere; it takes a chunk out of your lifeline. Meaning, if you could live for another 9 months, maybe, depending on how strong your body is, you may have from 8months to 4 months left to live instead. Yet rarely, but still does happen, for some people it does not affect them at all, or at most a couple of days. It is not confirmed but to my knowledge and kept records, I find they usually happen to those with the strongest will to live."

I stared intently at him, my hand frozen in midair. I'm playing a huge gamble right here.

"That's right." He said. "You are playing a gamble."

Dammit! He's gotta stop doing that!

I could not make up my mind, I didn't want to shorten my life any more than it already has been, but at the same time I was so desperate to walk today, to leave this building and take just one breath of fresh air… I can't keep going like this any longer! I'm going to suffocate in here! But is my will to live strong enough? Strong enough to make it a reality? Is this worth it? One moment of triumph that cuts the remaining of my life in half. What should I do?

My hand remained frozen in the midair; I could not make up my mind.

"Forget it." He said, pocketing the vial. "We're going to wait, you'll be fine tomorrow, it was stupid of me to ask you to make a decision like this—"

I held out my hand. "Give the damn thing to me."

"Why?"

Truthfully, I was unsure. But the moment he took it away, somehow, it was as if the decision was already made. That damn thing is mine. I have too much dignity; I refuse to let him remember me as a coward. I know I'll probably regret this, but for the moment, it's so mine. "Pass it here."

He looked at me sadly. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Pass it!" I pressured.

He sighed and took it out again but did not place it on my open palm. "How about this, I've got a better idea. Instead of you drinking all of this, why don't you drink half of it? It'll ease half your pains, and for the rest I'll massage your leg for you."

"I don't need you. I don't need anybody. Just give me that damn thing."

He didn't bother arguing with me, but his sense of righteousness was too strong for him to just completely give in to me and have me suffer my own stupid consequences.

He took the wine glass from yesterday and pour half the substance in it. It hardly filled the bottom of the cup. Hard to imagine so little of something could cause such miracles and disasters. "Here." He said, handing it to me.

I gulped it down as soon as the glass touched my hand. I didn't want to end up hesitating, so might as well get it over with now so that I won't have a chance to go back on my words.

"Stretch out your legs." He said.

I glared at him. "I told you, I don't need anybody, I'll be fine."

"Just do as I say, I'm trying to help you. Trust in me."

But how can I? I barely know you for more than 20 minutes…

"You will soon, just believe in me for another 10 minutes and you'll know what I'm capable of, and you will know that I've never meant harm to you."

I really hate when he does that. Sure, I've heard of psychics, but who would've thought one is sit beside me right now? How does he do it anyways? And doesn't he even bother to try to hide his ability? "Fine." I replied. I stretched out my right leg and hugged my left leg to my chest. "Do whatever you have to." And I took my teddy bear and began soothing out its fur.

He put his hands on my legs and began to rub it gently. I tried really hard to think about the bear and the annoying way it's smiling, but it actually felt really good… no wonder adults love it when someone massages them…

I looked at him.

He just kept on loosening the muscles in my leg, soothing them, relaxing them, as the same while I felt a slowly bubbling energy rising in me. It was truly a magical feeling. In fact until this moment, I'm not sure whether I was dreaming or awake. I wanted to pinch myself, but I was afraid to wake up even if this was a dream.

I continued to stare at him, wondering about him, curious about him.

He looked up into my eyes and just smiled. That stupid, stupid smile. Why is he so happy? I don't get it! Teenagers his age are usually complaining about life, or suicidal, or a drug addict, or just a lowlife prick. But why is he so nice and happy?

I could feel my legs tingling, I suddenly felt more alive and powerful than I had ever felt for a long, long time… at least, since a year ago…

"Stand up now." He said as he took a step back. "Try. And remember, I'm right here. Feel free to fall any time. And please, don't feel bounded to your words of 'you don't need me'. I really don't care what you say, because remember, I'm right here and I won't judge you."

I hesitated only for a bit, before setting my feet down and resting my right arm on his shoulder.

I stood up with no difficulty. Now the real test comes when I put pressure on my other leg.

Please, please let it work! Please! My leg feels much more powerful and more at ease than when I had tried the first time—that's for sure. But am I stable enough to stand?

There's only one way to find out.

I set my right foot down on the ground and I took a deep breath. Please God, please! I prayed. I want to walk again!

My left foot was above the ground and my entire weight was on my right leg.

I gasped.

I'm standing; I really am standing! I'm not crippled after all, he was right! He was right!

My hand was off of his shoulder and still, I stood there just on my supposedly broken leg alone, and I wasn't falling, or even wavering. There was a bit of pain, but only a bit, and that little bit was drowned out by my happiness. "I'M STANDING!" I cried with joy. "I'M NOT GOING TO BE CRIPPLED!" I laughed out loud from pure happiness and I threw my arms around him.

Who is this boy exactly? I've known him for less than an hour and already, he's created a miracle for me.

Miracles happen rarely, and if one was ever to find you, you should consider yourself lucky no matter how long it takes. Yet him, this boy—no, man since he's 18— who came into my life so suddenly, so spontaneously, and he creates miracles as if he's expecting them. He wasn't holding his breath or anything, he simply knew! To top it off he could actually read minds. Not the phoney kinds that say "you have great potentials" or something abstract but he could really sense my thoughts word by word even if he refuse to admit it. But most importantly, he gave me the ability to walk! I'm standing right now, walking right now, putting pressure on my broken leg right now all because of him! "THANK YOU SO MUCH! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!" I cried over and over again.

I could hear him laugh gently. "You're welcome." He was saying to me. "It really is your will that this miracle came true, it's not me, I assure you, it's your own will power…"

But I could not stop laughing and I didn't let go to of him. "Oh, I love you! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"

He detangled himself from me, but slowly so that I would not feel rejected. "Now let's put it to the test and make your dream come true. I'm going to take you somewhere today. I'm going to take you to a beautiful park, and you're going to take more than just one breath of fresh air."

"I'm not allowed…" I told him with a frown. I was still excited about standing, but this fact really saddened me. Even though I fixed my broken wing I was still not allowed to leave my cage.

"Trust me." He winked and stood up then headed towards the door. "I'll be back."

After he left, I was alone, which gave me a chance to think without my thoughts being read. Right now, I want to learn everything about this boy, I want to know when he was born, what happened when he was born, and how did he become this way. I want to learn about his entire family, his ancestors and know everything he's interested in. He created a miracle for me! He is a miracle! I haven't been this happy for a while. It seemed recently the only emotions I could feel was sadness, frustration, anger and the need to attempt suicide. But then this boy comes out of nowhere, and suddenly, in such a short time, I'm losing everything that was my life before, all the hopelessness, all the depression, and instead I'm living the completely different life. The transaction is so quick, but truly, I don't feel strange at all, the transaction between such drastic emotional changes occurred so fast, yet so smooth without the tiniest detectable fault, almost like him.

I owe this moment entirely to him. I will trust him from now on. He was right, he meant no harm, and I should believe totally in him… to me, he's as close as God gets.

Syaoran came back two minutes later with a frown on his face. I shook my head understandably. "I told you, they're not going to let me out…" I told him sadly. "The last time I did this I was captivated by a deer corpse, almost got ran over by a car, nearly froze to death and managed a nail up foot. I had almost died. They're not going to trust me ever again. Thanks for trying, I'm grateful, really, but I know it's hopeless."

"Oh, no, it's not that…" He said with a smile. "You're allowed to go all right, I convinced them. It's just that I'm not allowed to take you as far away as I had hoped." He sighed. "I guess I'll just take you to the nearest amusement park…"

"Which would be how far away?"

"About 2 hours drive."

"THAT'S SUPPOSE TO BE CLOSE? GOODNESS SAKES WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU PLANNING TO TAKE ME?"

"Ah, well, you know…" He scratched his head nervously. "Sort of um… to a different country."

I could've fainted right then. But he was just so thoughtful… he knew how much I hated this place and he was willing to take me this far away on his own time when he could be doing other more meaningful things. That's really sweet… "And they really agreed to let you take me out."

"Well yeah, they agreed without much of an argument."

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Um, no…"

"They actually gave you permission."

"Yes…"

"I can't believe this! You've just created the second miracle for me!"

He laughed. "Didn't you know? My middle name is Miracle."

I rolled my eyes. "Save it."

He continues to laugh. "C'mon, let's go now before it gets dark. I need to bring you back before midnight."

"Before midnight? Are you out of your mind? I still need my blood exchange thing… Dr. Ada will never let me off of that…"

"I spoke to him about that too. He said you can skip it just for today."

"Holy crap! Who the hell are you? How come they're all listening to you?"

He shrugged, then in a mysterious voice he said, "Because, I'm special." And he winked.

"Get outta here!" I rolled my eyes.

He smiled. "Yeah, I agree, let's get out of here." He offered me his hand.

"I can stand, you know." I told him.

"Aw, still shy? My skin is not poisonous you know."

"And my skin is off limits."

"You really have been unloved for too long, you must be close to a human being to stop all your suspicions and loneliness. Give me your hand. This will help you more than you can realize. You'll stop feeling so timid and separated from everyone else."

I looked into his eyes, and saw that he was being serious. He wasn't joking around or trying to make me feel neglected from the world. He really was trying to help me. I just don't understand why me specifically. I mean sure, that's what people who work at the hospital do, they help people, but why is he putting so much time and energy into me? Certainly I know the nurses will never do this to me and I'm quite positive I'm the only person in the hospital getting a treatment like this from someone that's not a family member or special friend.

"Give me your hand, you need to close, be warm, and be loved." He repeated.

Timidly, I put my hand on his as he pulled me up from my bed. "Get ready for a day of fun." He said with a smile.

"I'm sure it's going to great." I replied.

-

To my surprised he had a taxi parked in front of the hospital waiting for us especially. Had he been preparing this for longer than I thought? Perhaps he was spying on me and planned how to make me better for weeks or even months now… is this just another trick from Dr. Ada?

"Believe me when I tell you I only knew of you yesterday night, and I would never work for someone like Dr. Ada."

By now I'm already used to him reading my mind, I'm used to my thoughts being the same as what I speak out loud. It actually doesn't bother me so much any more now that I think about it. After all, it's not like I have anything to hide from him. Everything I say that's wrong he'll only help me realize what's what with it and what can I change, and everything that's just a simple comment he merely listens and take it in. There's nothing I'm afraid of him knowing. Everything I do around him just feels so natural and normal.

I leaned back against the soft seat of the car and sighed. I wonder how long this can last for? Seeing as all my previous happiness ended all too quickly…

-

We arrived at the park a bit after 12, and the taxi driver said he'll be staying here, and will wait until we come out. Saves us the trouble of finding another taxi.

I'm pretty sure this is another thing Syaoran had already talked with him about this issue previously.

-

I've been at this particular place many times before with Kevin and Tomoyo and couple of other bitches a.k.a. used-to-be-friends, and we went on every single ride from the baby level to the ultimate thrilling roller coasters. I liked this place but felt no special feelings for it because it's just another place for me to hang out with friend like some normal every day mall. Yet today, as I looked around, it felt so unfamiliar to me.

Is it because there's a different person beside me? Is it because I'm not surrounded by 10 other people like I normally would be? Or is it because I never really thought about anything before and just went along with whatever without burning a memory into my brain? Whatever the reason was I was seeing this place as if for the first time.

People's voices came very randomly to me, as if they didn't really matter. I looked around and didn't feel an inch of excitement. I think I would be just as happy to be walking with Syaoran through an empty grass field. I really don't think the thrill is what I need now.

I felt him pulling me away. "I figured you wouldn't be interested in the rides here anymore. People do tend to change a lot when drastic things are happening in their life."

"You're telling me…"

"But there is more to this place than just the rides."

"Yeah? How come I don't know about them then?"

"Because you've never taken the time to look. Come with me." He said, dragging me away.

"Like I have a choice…" I muttered.

-

And yet again, ladies and gentlemen, he was right. Now why am I not surprised?

Behind all the noise and fun was a peaceful picnic area surrounding a pond of water and lily pads and singing birds. There were no benches but plenty of fresh green grass. I could see a lot of couples here and it made me wonder why Syaoran has taken me to this place particularly.

"Don't get any weird thoughts. It's not that strange for two friends to come to a peaceful place together. Man, people these days are thinking way too complicated."

"Hey, now I'm offended. Am I not good enough for you?"

"Maybe."

"Hey!"

He laughed. "I'm just kidding, but you do realize that a boy and a girl can be friends without having to have some sort of romantic relationship involved."

"Sure, I've got plenty of guy friends."

"But do you always end up going out with them?"

"Hey!"

"What? It's just a simple question… so, do you?"

"I choose to remain silent."

"I can always know if I really want to…"

"I will remain silent both physically and mentally."

"Who said I could read minds?" He asked innocently.

I snorted. "Right. Drop the act, buddy."

-

We stopped fooling around a bit later, and as I lay beside him on the green grass, feeling the presence of a warm human being beside me who actually cared about my well-being, I really can't imagine being happier. He's right. Girls and guys should be just friends more often. A boyfriend can be fun, girlfriend can be easy to gossip with, but a real guy friend sometimes can be the one person that gives you reassurance.

"So," I asked him. "When's your birthday?"

"July 13th."

"13th? That's a pretty unlucky number."

"Well, I guess I'm just born under an unlucky star."

"No, I didn't mean it that way… I'm just not too… keen about that particular number."

"It's okay, people tell that to me once in a while, I'm not offended. What about you, when are you born?"

"Well… April…"

"April what?"

"Don't laugh."

"Sure."

"Well… April… April 1st."

"Ah!" He exclaimed. "April Fool's girl! I should get you something special for your birthday!"

"April Fool's Day doesn't exist in my vocabulary. To me April 1st is nothing else than my birthday. So no playing stupid tricks on that day." I said firmly.

"Who said anything about playing jokes? I said I'll get you something special for your birthday, is there something wrong with that?" He responded innocently.

"Puh-lease! I may not be able to read minds but I'm not completely clueless you know!"

"I told you, I never said I could read minds. You assume it. And assuming makes an ass out of you and me."

"No, in this case my assuming makes an ass out of you, because you're still desperately defending your innocence of no-extraordinary-powers even though you're bound to be found out and is struggling hopelessly against my truthful and powerful words that will one day, eventually knock you to the ground."

"Creative."

"Thank you."

"Have you ever thought about being a writer?"

I gave him a dirty look. "I hear the sarcasm in your voice."

He shrugged. "So, do your family visit you often?" I guess he sensed my sadness as soon as I heard those words, and he added hastily, "Actually, you don't have to answer that question. You know it really is a beautiful days today—"

"It's okay." I told him. "I don't mind telling you. You take everything so well and you always treat every situation the way I'd want somebody to treat it. I want to tell you simply because I don't like telling other people but I need someone else to know. No, they don't visit often and yes, I do blame them. I suppose you can say it's selfish of me since they do have a life. But if you look at things in my perspective, it's their fault, because they're leaving a dying girl all alone in her last minute of life. Is their work really this important to be abandoning a dying girl? Is it really worth it to miss seeing her for a few final times more?"

He nodded. "I'm glad you're like this… that you see things both ways and you're not leaning towards one of them. This makes you more fair."

"Fair? No. No one's ever told me that. I'm not fair and I know it. Can you imagine that I once made a little girl cry simply because she was alive and accidentally stumbled upon me with a bright happy smile?" Cayleigh's—at least that's what I named her—horrified face came back to me and I could see that expression on her all over again. "I feel so much regret right now… but during that moment, I hated her and her mom so much, I was so envious of them that I couldn't stand to see them happy any longer… I had to make them miserable, I just had to… and I regret it now, if only I could tell her that, if only!"

"Because she was so much like you…" He whispered.

My eyes widened a bit but I quickly returned to normal. I should've known. I can only imagine him seeing what I'm seeing right now. Perhaps hearing and seeing the mind is the same thing. "Yes." I replied. "Yes, she was so much like me, so full of energy and bouncy. So much like me…"

We stayed silent for a bit. It wasn't uncomfortable at all. He was the first person to have understood me so deeply, and not judge me on anything I say. He just listened; let me pour my sorrow upon him so that he could carry it with me. I felt so much lighter right now. Just like he said, this was what I needed. To be near human beings and be surrounded by love, and only then I will become part of the world again without feeling left out.

"SAKURA?" A bewildered screeching voice cried.

I blinked and sat up. Syaoran sat up beside me. I looked forward to see one of the 'bitches a.k.a used-to-be-friend' standing there with a mini skirt and a boyfriend standing behind her. She twirled the lipstick in her hand and walked towards me. "Well, ain't this a surprise."

"Likewise." I replied.

"Well, shocking to be meeting you here." She said.

"Yes, Elli, of course. After all, I'd been expecting to meet you at the hospital instead." It was a hint to say she hasn't been visiting me, and Elli caught the hint rather well.

"I was busy," she said, looking away. She then looked at Syaoran. "Excuse sir, are you really just going to stand here listening to our conversation without even try to pretend you're not?"

Syaoran looked puzzled, but I knew exactly what Elli was talking about. "He's with me." I told her. "He's not a stranger eavesdropping."

She gasped. Just like the Elli I knew. She's surprised because she never believed in miracles and always thought she had to keep herself superior otherwise no one would like her. To her, if you're sick, especially if you're dying, nobody would ever get near you, or ever say hi to you again. She's a bit too realistic. "He's with you?"

"Yes," I replied, taking satisfaction in seeing her stunned expression. Serve the bitch right.

I inched a bit closer to Syaoran and took his hand. "Is there problem with this?" I asked.

Syaoran was good looking and I knew just as much. And the boy with Elli had the looks of Syaoran divided by 5, and her eyeballs nearly popped out seeing that I was with a guy like this while she ended with a reject like that when she was so much healthier and puts on way more makeup than I do.

I took pleasure in seeing her humiliation.

"So," I said. "Who is that young man with you?"

Elli glared at me, knowing fully well I was only asking so I could gloat in her face. I was better than her back in school, and now, even now, she still can't surpass me. Must be embarrassing for her.

I tilted my head slightly so that it was resting on Syaoran's arm. He's a bit too tall for me to reach his shoulder fully. Must say though, I'm glad he's playing along or rather just have not noticed it.

"He's my boyfriend." Elli replied in a low grumbled. "What's his name?" She continued, meaning Syaoran.

"His name is Li." I told her coldly. "Now, I believe we were talking about your boyfriend. Just why are you so interested in my companion more than your own?"

She glared at me. "His name is Kenji. Where did you find this guy?"

Ah, the moment was priceless, the jealous look on her face, her reject of a boyfriend looking like he was ready to break up with her. I stepped even closer to Syaoran if that was even possible, and I could see her frown growing bigger and nastier. "I didn't find him, he found me." I stared at her, as she glared back at me.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and let a little annoyed cry. "Nice meeting you!" She said forcefully and turned around angrily and abruptly. "Let's go Kenji." When he didn't follow her, she came back and dragged him away.

I laughed as soon as they were gone and stopped pressing myself to Syaoran and dropped to the ground still giggling. "Now that was the greatest thing I've ever witnessed!"

Syaoran had an amused look in his eyes. "Let me guess. She thinks I'm your boyfriend."

I gave him an innocent smile that didn't come out quite as innocent as I had planned. "Somewhat along that line…" Then I decided denying would probably work better. "What makes you say that?" I questioned.

"Let me think. Maybe it was the way you referred to her boyfriend as her companion and me as your companion, or maybe it was the way you were pressed so tightly again me, or perhaps it was because you were leaning on me? But it could also be the fact that you were still inching towards me. I'm not sure. Haven't decided which one is the most obvious yet. But I'm sure they all contribute to the same result."

I laughed at his little comments. "But, you don't mind, right?" I asked with an adorable grin.

"Well…" He looked at me as if trying to decide though I knew deep inside he wasn't mad at me in the first place. He's too good for that. "I suppose… it's acceptable." He finally said trying to look like he was holding a grudge.

"Horrible actor."

"What?"

"That's what you are. You don't have to pretend to be mad at me."

Before he could respond I grabbed his hand and began pulling him away. "C'mon, let's go get something to eat."

"I thought your flesh was off limit?"

"I thought you said this was good for me? I'm taking your advise now and you're mad a me. Oh, what a sad world, you can never please anyone!"

He laughed at my fake-misunderstood expression as we made our way to the food court.

-

It was 6:00pm when it began to rain. We came back to the same spot after we had something to fill our stomachs and just simply sat and talked and learnt about one and another, increasing our special bond. One thing I found about him was that he was simply nice before when I needed help the most, but now that I'm more stable, I realized he was also really easy to talk with and wasn't always seriously but actually rather funny. And we could joke about almost anything even about being boyfriends and girlfriends. This most people in my school couldn't do because they took it so seriously. But to us, I suppose because we both accepted the fact that I'm dying—well, mostly because I finally accepted that—and the fact that I'm not expecting to get a boyfriend anymore, that's why no matter what we say, the truth is always clear in our minds with no feelings hurt and no misunderstanding.

I frowned. "We have to go." I told him. "I can't stay in the rain for too long or I'll get sick."

"Here." He took off his own jacket and gave it to me.

"No, it's okay, you'll catch a cold." I said, seeing that he had only a t-shirt underneath.

"I'll be fine. Just take it."

Well, I suppose between the two of us I needed it more than he did, so I accepted it and covered my face with it was we began to run towards the parking lot.

But when we searched for 15 minutes and could not find the taxi I began to get worried. "Fuck!" I cursed. "I thought he said he was going to wait for us? What the fuck is going on? Now we're going to be soaked to death here because of his irresponsibility?"

"Hey, c'mon now, don't swear… he probably just went out to get a bite to eat."

I growled. "Well, I can't stand here in the rain for that much longer. I'm going to pass out soon."

He looked around. "There!" He cried pointing at a bus stop.

"We're taking the bus home now?"

"No, the bus doesn't come to this stop on holidays."

"Oh, that's great."

"No, there's some cover there, it should keep you out of the rain."

Together we ran across the street and into the tiny glass shelter.

I stared outside and shivered. "I really do hope he comes back soon…" I said, looking at Syaoran. "You're going to catch a cold like this soon too…"

He smiled but somehow he looked a little defocused and pale. "Worry about yourself."

I frowned. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I hope so… don't worry, I probably look kind of bad right now but it's really nothing severe, I get colds and coughs all the time but they always get better."

I took off the jacket. "Here, you need it more."

He shook his head. "I don't want you to get sick—"

"Worry about yourself." I told him, taking his line.

He paused before smiling, and took the jacket back.

I stared at the lights from the cars splashing by me in the pounding rain surrounded by the black night.

Then something suddenly stood out, as if it glowed! I stared intently at that figure and saw something… someone…

I gasped.

Syaoran looked at that figure and he inhaled sharply. "Is… is that her?"

I didn't answer him; I just stared at that little girl as a smile blossomed over my face. I felt tears in my eyes—tears of happiness. Somehow I just regretted our last encounter so badly I needed to see her again to have a fresh, new memory with me.

When I didn't answer, he said, "Yes, that's her… it must be Cayleigh…"

I swallowed and put my hand against the glass with a smile of adoration on my face. "Cayleigh…" I whispered. "My little girl… my little sister… my special friend even if you're not aware…"

Then she turned. She turned around and stared straight at me. Yes, Cayleigh! Yes! Look at me! Do you remember me?

But she hadn't seen me. She looked in this direction, yes, but not at me. She turned back towards her mom whom began to adjust her raincoat while trying to cover her hair with the hood.

A loud beep right in front of me snapped me out of my thoughts and I saw the taxi in front of the bus stop.

Syaoran opened the door and urged me in, though I could not keep my eyes off Cayleigh, even as I came inside the car.

The taxi drove away through the terrible weather. And even in the beating of the rain against the wet and unclear window, I could still see Cayleigh, her cute face, her tiny form, her adorable clothing. I stared until the car took a turn and she went into her mom's car.

Syaoran put his hand on top of mine. I looked at him and smiled.

I have a new memory of Cayleigh now.

"Forgive yourself." He said.

Yes. Forgive.

And at last I can. With what I last saw of Cayleigh, I know she's okay, she's not permanently scarred and she's fine. I don't have to dwell on the past now. This is what I will always remember of Cayleigh from now on. I forgive myself.

I sighed contently and rested against Syaoran.

Is there anything else? Since Syaoran came into my life (though only less than a full day), I became happy, I could walk again, all the heaviness from my heart is lifted and my last regret has finally been resolved.

He really is a miracle.

-

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Author's Note: This is not the end.

8590 Words… Longer than all the other chapters…