Author's Note: The story so far is halfway through if not more.
)Manuca( - I'm glad u like this story so much… I know you have a lot of questions, and they'll all be answered next chapter… I can't fill them in this chapter because… well, after you read the end you'll see…: P s'true, I hate all the typical CCS stories… like, c'mon! You can't just hate someone so passionately then for some UNKNOWN reasons they ACCIDENTALLY fall on top of you or for some BIZARRE reason they're your roommate (may I add they don't make a girl and a guy share rooms) then SOMEHOW, they look at each other and VOILA! They're in love! Well, you know what I mean, I just hate stuff like that… it's immature, unrealistic and just too repetitive… :P
)LadyAkina( - What can I say… the world is not always fair… in fact it rarely is… xP
Chapter Five
Li Syaoran; my Valentine
February 10th
It's hard to tell you what happened to me for the past month in my oblivious way as to just tell you what happens scene by scene. Because I've already had time to analyze things and sometimes I can't but to add little comments that I had not felt during that time. I know I want somebody to find my story, and understand it, but right now all I pray is for Syaoran to come back. Yet I still write, only because I have nothing else to do.
I will try to tell you what happened as best and as unbiased as I can, but there are no guarantees.
I came home that day, and I think Syaoran had caught somewhat of a cold. He assured me he was fine and went back out into the storm.
I woke up the next day and he came to me again, and again, and again until January the 4th. We went to parks, or sometimes we just walked around enjoying the outside. It didn't seem to matter that much where we were, as long as I was with him. I was so happy. But it was sort of weird. I hadn't noticed at that time but after analyzing it for a month, I realized that his disappearance on January 5th was not some coincident but he had already known.
How do I know this? Because during those 3 days we spent together, he kept subtly mention the number "5". I know I may sound like I'm being paranoid, but really! Just listen to my proofs and you'll see:
1. When we went out for lunch, everyday, no matter what restaurant, he ordered the 5th dish on the menu.
2. Of all things, at a circus, he bought me five balloons.
3. He always brought me home at exactly five-'o-clock in the afternoon.
4. The clothing he had worn had five buttons.
I can't think of much now, but I think those were somehow hints to what was to happen, because on January 5th, he vanished. Just like that. Another thing that was odd was that he said to me everyday before he left, "See you tomorrow." While on January 4th, before leaving, he said "See you later."
Of course they meant nothing to me at that time, but somehow I now think it's all linked together. I understand the 5th was a Monday and he probably had to go visit a university or something like that, but I was just sort of hurt that he didn't tell me beforehand.
It's not like I wouldn't understand! He has a life and I respect that, his life doesn't revolve around mine and I accept the fact. But did he just have to so mysteriously disappear?
A month has passed and ever since he left, I haven't done anything but rot in my bed. I wasn't allowed to leave my room without him here, I had no one to talk to, and I was miserable. Especially with a pain that said to me he may never come back. I wish he would, I wish he would've made some kind of a sign before he'd left, most of all I just wish he had told me where he was going! I don't like being left in the dark like this! What's wrong? Did he not trust me? Did he think I wouldn't take it well? But how could he think that? He could read my mind and he would know what I feel…
Why am I left here all alone?
I had made theories of what could be possible, but the one I'm most leaning on, praying for right now, is that fact he comes to me only on special occasions. He's like a God, a Saviour, but they don't just come everyday right…
That's it! I first met him on New Years, he stayed throughout the New Year's holidays with me, and on January fifth is when everybody is going back to school or work or whatever… that's why he's gone!
Right?
But if that's the case, when's the next holiday?
I looked at my calendar.
Valentine's Day.
Would he come on that day? Or would he skip it because I'm not his lover? But then what's after that?
March Break. No… somehow that's just not special enough…
So what's after that? Well… there really isn't much besides… my birthday…
But that's not until April 1st… can I wait that long? I'm already about to go insane here! The only reason I haven't is because I have something to look forward to daily (that fraction of a chance he may return)… but that hope is dying bit by bit, and I don't know how long I can hold on anymore…
The Living Corpse returned already. Apparently Kevin was a "special visitor" and they took her to another room for us to spend some "quality time" together. So much for quality time… All that happened was vicious fighting and getting drunk. Well, she returned the day after that because "quality time" was over.
I looked over at her form laying motionlessly on the bed and sighed heavily.
I know I said I'll tell you what happened to Syaoran and I during those four days, how much fun we had and all, but I can't help it… every time I think about it I can't help but to get off topic and think about nothing else but where he went, where he is now, and when he may be coming back.
It's getting gradually warmer outside day by day, but today, it's raining up a storm again, much like that day I saw Cayleigh again.
What am I going to do? I'm going to die in here! Please, Syaoran, come back!
I woke up, rolled over and half thought he would be back. But I was greeted by emptiness.
Sighing heavily, I told myself I was not disappointed because I had expected this to happen, but I knew I was only lying to myself.
Where are you, Syaoran? Where are you? Why don't you tell me where you've gone? Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?
Eat, sleep, blood changing, eat, blood changing, and sleep.
It's back to my original cycle again
At night I slept some more.
I woke up to yet another morning. He's still not here.
Come back! Don't leave me! You'll be back! Right? You can't leave me like the rest of them… I can't be left again!
The rain has stopped and there are kids playing outside my window. But what does that matter to me? What matter to me? I ask myself if there's something else I can do to cheer myself up and I realize there is nothing else. I await him yet he never comes.
What will become of me? Will I be waiting in longing till the day I die?
Another day goes by, and a new one starts.
Would he ever come back? I put my hands on my face and I almost cried.
Get a hold of yourself! C'mon! Don't lose it now! He'll be back! He's not like Kevin!
I rolled over to the other side of my bed and got ready to greet yet another dreadful day.
Yet something has finally happened today. I gasped.
There were a dozen roses made into a bouquet with a bright red letter attached to it. I looked at the calendar on my bed stand.
Valentine's Day!
I took the gift and opened the letter.
It read:
Dear sweetest,
If roses represent the love I may offer, and ten roses is all the love combined together within me, I hereby present you with twelve roses and only pray you'll understand my heart.
Happy Valentine's Day, angel.
Always watching you,
Your Secret Admirer.
Who the hell… Always watching you? Is this guy some kind of a stalker?
I raised my eyebrow sceptically. There's got to be some kind of a mistake here.
"What this?" A teasing voice said. "Love letter?"
At that instant I froze. I wanted to believe it so badly but I couldn't help but wonder what if I am deceiving myself. That voice. That familiar, friendly voice that had helped me through so much. My miracle. My personal guardian angel. Could it be? Is he really back?
I looked up slowly, afraid, just in case my mind was playing a trick on me.
But he's there. He's really here! He stands there leaning against the doorway with that same smile on his face that just seems to never leave no matter how rude I treat him. "Oh my God…" I muttered.
"Hey. How are ya?" He greeted walking towards me.
I could feel the tears in my eyes. I looked down at the letter in my hand and then back at him, and as soon as he was close enough, I jumped and hugged him so tightly it was as if I was putting all the hugs I could've given him in the past month all into this one. "SYAORAN!" I squealed. "THANK YOU!"
I finally understood now! That love letter was from him! It's not that I was happy he loved me, because I knew he wrote that because it was Valentine! Because it was just so appropriate! It just fits the mood so well! He gave that to me because he wanted me to be happy, and every girl's wish on Valentine's Day is to have a secret admirer though that rarely happens anymore. But now he has made me feel like an innocent schoolgirl just praying to have a boy in love with me. "You're so sweet!" I told him. "You just seem to always know what to do at what time! This is the greatest present a girl can get on Valentine's Day!"
He wrapped him arms around me, but whispered innocently, "What are you talking about? Hmm? What's the greatest present a girl can get?"
I laughed. "Don't be silly, I know you sent me the roses."
"Me?" He said as if he were truly confused. "I thought it was a secret admirer… why would it be me?"
"Please." I told him with a roll of my eyes. "My ex-bastard would rather smash a beer bottle over his own head and get stitches before sending me roses, all the other people in my school has never visited me even once, then it's either my dad who sent it to me which I doubt since he is uncreative, or my best friend Tomoyo, which makes me shudder just thinking about it, or Yukito, who by the way is my brother's boyfriend, or my brother, which is just plain wrong. Other than that there's no one left."
"Aww, that's a bit harsh. How do you know there's not someone out there secretly watching over you daily?"
"Besides someone as dumb as you, no one would do that for me."
He laughed, not at all offended, but didn't bother arguing.
Then, from behind his back somehow, he took out a thin, well wrapped in plastic pink and white bouquet that had only one single rose within, and held it out to me.
I think I blushed from its simplicity yet beauty at the same time. It was just a single, long stemmed rose, but every pedal was smooth and the fancy paper wrapped around it gave such a soothing feeling. I took it in my hands and I smelted it, and sighed happily. "Thank you…" I told him.
"Well this isn't good… your secret admirer sends you a dozen roses and instead you're in love with this one… Oh, the poor guy is going to be so hurt…"
I looked at him and smiled. "Your presents will always be the most special to me. That "secret" admirer can send me a truckload of diamonds and I'll still take this rose over it any day."
"Flattering." He said with a smile. "But unfortunately this rose isn't for you."
"WHAT?" I gasped, not believing he just said that to me after what I told him.
He laughed seeing my flushed and angered expression and took a seat beside. "Do you see her over there?"
"Who?" I replied grumpily.
"C'mon now, don't be mad." He comforted taking my hand. "It's Valentine's Day, everybody deserves to be loved. You've got your present, and now it's time to think about other people."
"There is no other people in my world."
"Sure there is, her."
I looked at where he pointed.
Oh great! This is perfect! This stupid rose was for that fucking corpse lady! Oh Gee, makes me feel so much better now! "Fine." I snapped, throwing the rose at him. "Go ahead and give it to her. See if I care."
"No." He said gently, handing it back to me. "I want you to give it to her, and wish her happy Valentine's Day."
"What the hell! I don't want to okay? I can't stand looking at her! I can't give this away to someone like her!"
"Calm down… I want you to be on good terms with her… she's not bad, in fact I know she cares a lot about you, and I think it would be nice if you returned some of her affections too. Please, Sakura. Just give this to her, wish her a happy day, and understand something about her. I would like there to be a bound between you two, so that you may rely on each other."
"Why would I rely on her when you're here?"
He smiled thinly. "I can't always be here for you."
"Like the last month." I agreed.
"Will you do it?" He asked.
"No."
"Please?"
"No!"
"Pretty please?" He begged with a cute, pleading expression.
"Give me one Goddamn reason why!" I cried in frustration when I felt myself give in to his charm.
"Because." He replied, leaning down closer to me. "I am, your secret admirer." He added an exaggerated wink.
I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. He was being so adorable! He knew I knew this already, but somehow now he's making it seem so mysterious as if I hadn't known or something, and that this should all be a shock.
He grinned knowing his plan had worked. "Will you, then?" He asked.
"Fine!" I said, finally giving in. I stood up and just as I was about to walk over to her bed, I turned around suddenly, and asked, "If you bought it, if you meant it, you deserve the credit, why should her affection for me grow when she should be grateful to you instead?"
He shook his head. "I don't matter. As long as you two are on good terms together, as long as I know there's someone here who's a friend, and who is responsible enough to take care of you, I'm at ease."
"Take care of me…" I muttered rolling my eyes, but continued walking towards her bed.
I looked down at her sleepy and tired form and frowned. What am I suppose to do now?
"Um, excuse me…" I said, shaking her lightly. "Excuse me… miss…"
She stirred a bit, and opened her tired eyes. "Y-yes?" She said hoarsely.
"Um, happy Valentine's Day." I said timidly holding out the precious rose to her.
She looked at it in shock but I could see happiness in her eyes. With a violently shaking hand, she accepted it, and carefully placed in the vase on her bed stand with all the strength she had, then lay back down. "Thank you, child. This is very kind of you. I'm glad you remembered me, really." She sighed with a smile on her lips and lay on her back. "I only wish my daughter would be as kind as you…"
I felt kind of guilty thinking of all the bad things I said about her. "Um, yeah… you're welcome… so er, what's your name?"
"Madeleine."
"Oh. That's a pretty name. But what's your last name?"
"You needn't be formal with me…" She whispered with her eyes closed again peacefully. "Calling me Madeleine would be just fine…"
"Sure…" I responded, though she had already slipped into yet another deep sleep again.
"Well?" Syaoran looked at me expectantly. "Was that so bad?"
"Thank for making me feel guilty." I snapped.
"A little guilt now and then warms your heart and keep your blood from being so cold."
"You mean keep my heart from being so cold."
"Same thing." He said with a wave of his hand. "C'mon, let's go somewhere."
"Where?"
"Come with me and you'll see."
I had to change while he fussed over where was the best place to keep the dozen roses, and then we had to re-get permission from the doctor for me to leave, and by the time we were done it was almost 12, which is why we ended up having lunch at the hospital, and then leaving at 1:30 in the afternoon.
"Here we are." He announced after we walked 20 minutes down the block.
"You've got to be joking me."
"No, why would I?" He replied.
He's taken me to a freakin' hair salon? Is he out of his mind! "What, is there something wrong with the way I look now?" I snapped.
"No, no! Not at all." He defended. "But today is a special occasion and your hair does need some trimming. Don't be so mad…"
"Fine." I sighed rolling my eyes. "We're trimming my hair then we're going right?"
"Well… Actually… okay, first we're shortening it a bit, so that your bangs will seem longer, then we'll layer it, of course they had to wash your hair and blow dry it for you too… then I was thinking maybe for today some fancy new hair style, and then a bit of make up for you. After we get that ready, I already ordered a dress that's with them in the back room right now, so when you're done everything you can try out the new dress."
I stared at him as if he were from another planet. "And how much is all that going to cost?"
"Well, the dress I already covered, the hair cut is probably gonna cost 20, plus another 20 for the hair style 'cause that'll take a while, then another 40 for make-up… and, that's about it."
"Okay, we're going OUT! RIGHT NOW!" I growled dragging him to his feet. "Are you STUPID! There is no FRIGGIN' WAY I'm going to spend 80 bucks for my stupid hair! We're leaving, right NOW!" I demanded.
"Hey, hey! Chill out! You're not paying for them… I'm paying for you!"
"WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? IT'S NOT YOUR HAIR THEY'RE PAMPERING, WHY WOULD YOU PAY 80 FREAKIN' BUCKS FOR MY STUPID PIECE OF CRAP HAIR?"
"Hey, c'mon, don't scream… it's Valentine's Day, and today is when I shall spread some love around…"
"No thank you." I declined. "Make me feel guilty like I owe you or something afterwards… no thanks. OUT!"
"Li Syaoran!" A woman's voice screamed.
"See? You're next on their list… let's go, I had to make a special a week ahead plan to get a spot in this salon. We're not leaving without making you a goddess today."
"No! I don't want to feel like I owe you!"
"Then don't! I don't want you to feel like you owe me! I'm doing this all voluntarily!"
"I don't remember paying 80 for a haircut is part of what hospital volunteers have to do!"
"No, but it's a new rule. Recently added. Now go up there and look beautiful."
"Are you saying I'm ugly?"
"Whatever gave you that thought?"
"Nothing, nothing…" I sighed in defeat letting the lady lead me away.
Fifteen minutes later after she's done washing my hair I sat on a spin-y leather chair as she began chopping away at my hair. "You've got quite a nice colour here, little girl."
"Thanks…"
"But it's very dry and seems unhealthy… you have way too many split ends."
"Thanks…" But this time I said it sarcastically.
"I do believe it'll do you some good to come back often and trim it to keep your hair fresh and healthy always."
"While you get to rip me off during the process." I muttered. I don't think she heard me.
Finally after fifty minutes we were done cutting and drying my hair and now for the make up for both my face and the hair.
Some other lady came and began putting powder on my face as another pair of hands yanked at my hair. She was putting at least fifty hair clips in my hair. She's doing some kind of style where she's pulling back one little strand at a time towards the back so they all blossom out at the back of my head in cute little curls. They look kind of nice… but it hurts like hell!
Another 30 minutes passes, and at last, I was ready. I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought that perhaps I could pass as a not-so-sick patient.
Actually, I looked better than when I was healthy. The make up actually gave me a healthy glow. Next station, my dress. I wonder what he bought… better not be something perverted or I'm going to slap him across the face.
The dress turned out to be a tight spaghetti strapped faded pink dress with long matching gloves. It was really simple. It basically goes in at the waist then goes out gradually as it gets closer to the ground, with loose strings tied into a bow at the back. I also got matching shoes. They were high heels and very uncomfortable to walk in. I asked if I could take them off but no one really paid any attention to me.
At last, I was ready and came out of the change room.
"Da-da!" My hair dressed showed me to Syaoran as if I were some product. "Definitely a date to die for, sir. I believe she is looking her best currently."
"Thanks." I told her. "I guess I better stay in the washroom and stare at the mirror all night today seeing as I'm not going to get any prettier!" I told her. But she just walked away to her next customer.
By now it was already 4:00. Time passes way too quick.
"Well now that the torture over, gotta figure out a way to walk on the street like this and not be stared at… JEEZ ARE YOU CRAZY OR SOMETHI—" But I stop yelling. Because I realized that he was dressed in a tuxedo. "Oh, my, GOD. What the hell HAPPENED to you?"
"You don't like it?" He asked.
"Okay, there is no way, we're walking in the broad daylight on the street like this. You must be out of your mind."
"No, are you kidding? Too many people would stare! Which is why…" He led me outside. "I rented this."
Now what? I followed him outside and nearly had a heart attack.
He rented a band-new silver limo! "YOU, MY FRIEND, HAVE GONE COMPLETELY MAD!"
But he simply smiled and opened the back door for me. "Miss." He said, holding out his hand for me.
"Okay, I'm not getting in there. You've gone absolutely cuckoo if you think I'm putting my foot in that."
"Well, I guess you'll have to walk home then, or take the bus?"
"I'M NOT GOING IN THERE! THIS IS INSANE!"
Of course I ended up in there for the next two hours. He wouldn't tell me where we were going except he promised our strange clothing would be very suitable there.
At 6:30, we arrived at a fancy restaurant with aquariums and plush carpets and glass tables and silver utensils and table clothes that's worth more than my gold earrings.
I stared at him. "We can't get in somewhere like this."
"I'm over 18, I assure you, we can."
And somehow, believe it or not, we actually did get it… holy cow… I'm… speechless… Apparently he has made special reservations for us. I was too shocked to do anything else but to follow our waitress who wore a black tank top, black skirt, with a white apron over it that had a huge heart on it.
We settled down in the corner, where we had three candles at the corner of the table providing light.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" He asked.
"No." I relied.
"No?"
"No. I feel out of place."
He took my shaking hand on the cold table. "Don't worry about what others think, just enjoy yourself and everything will be fine."
I frowned. "You know, I would've liked it just as much if you had taken me to a free museum instead… this isn't necessary…"
"I know." He said. "You must be wondering why I was gone for an entire month without contacting you?"
"Oh… well now you brought it up, yes."
"I was preparing for this."
"WHAT?"
"Yes. Every event is special to me, the well-known ones, that is. I like to make them special and make a person feel special on that day too."
"You've certainly made me feel special…" I muttered.
"I'm glad."
"So what. You spend an entire month planning this?"
"Well, ideas which are not good enough had to go, I had to brainstorm the best way and with someone who has such limited imagination such as myself it's rather difficult. Perhaps a lot more than you can imagine."
"Hmm." I looked around me at the dim lighting and all the fancily dressed people, when suddenly, my eyes caught something familiar. I stood up. "Be right back." I told him before making my way towards the four people.
He knew what was happening before perhaps I even knew what I was about to do, and wisely, he chose to stay out of it and let me be before I start resisting and cause a big scene.
On the table 2 to the right of us, was a double date. One girl was Elli, with her boyfriend, and the other couple, was Kevin with some other blonde girl I've never seen before.
Elli and Blondie were doing the introducing as Kenji and Kevin shook hands together.
I walked over with a crude smile on my lips. "Hello."
They all looked up.
Elli gasped. Kevin took a deep breath. Kenji and Blondie didn't know what's going on.
"Good evening, Elli, Kevin." I spat the word 'Kevin' out rather distastefully.
"You! You're still here! That means you still have a date! Even in your condition!" Elli screeched. She and her stupid beliefs.
"Yes, Elli, smart girl. How'd you guess?"
"It's him isn't it? That cute guy with you the other day!"
"Yes, him. And I suggest you not call him cute in front of your boyfriend."
Kevin put his hands on the table and stood up. "If you're here to cause trouble I suggest you stop before I get angry."
I matched his glare with my own eyes of hatred, not backing down. I degraded myself once but that's not happening again. I'm much stronger this time. "I'm simply here to greet y'all a happy Valentine's Day but if you're that rude I'll understand." I said scathingly.
"Happen Valentine's Day to you too." He bit out. "Now goodbye."
I momentarily remembered our last Valentine together two years ago, and had to steady myself. "There are other people I'd like to greet besides you, Kevin." I responded with venom.
My laser eyes shifted completely to Blondie, and I could feel her tensing up. She looked up at me and laughed nervously. "Hi?"
"Kinomoto Sakura." I said, holding out my hand and smiling though my eyes told her how much I hated her.
"Um, hi." She took my hand uncertainly. "I'm, I'm Cane Lori."
"Hello. Lori."
She took her hand back and looked at Kevin asking for an explanation.
"Ex-girlfriend." He said without hesitations. "Makes me wonder what she's doing here, really, seeing as we're not friends anymore. Our last encounter was not… too pleasant…" His lips curved maliciously reminding me how I begged him.
I believe Syaoran could see my thoughts as well and at that moment he may have seen the images in Kevin's mind and I could feel him coming here ready to beat the crap out of my ex-bastard. But I spun around and stared at him with my cold eyes telling him to stop moving and just freeze right there. And he did, though I could tell it took a lot of self-control. "Like I said, simply here for a greeting. But now I'm rather interested in Lori, in becoming friends with her."
"Back off, Sakura." Kevin warned.
I only smirked and took Lori roughly by the wrist. "We need to talk." I told her.
"Let go of her!" Elli cried pinching my flesh so that I had to let go of Lori's arm.
"YOU BITCH!" I cried yanking hard at her hair. She let out a yelp of pain as I stepped my heel on her foot.
"AAH! STOP IT!"
I glared at her. "Don't you do something like this again. Do not mettle with things whose consequences you cannot bear. Lori, we're going to talk."
"But—"
"Now." I told her firmly.
She frowned and openly showed her annoyance yet she was afraid as well, and stood up slowly.
"SAKURA—"
"Kevin, SHUT UP!" Without a second look I dragged Blondie away as Kevin came after us.
"LISTEN TO ME—"
"I don't CARE! JUST GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
"GLADLY! AS SOON AS YOU RETURN MY GIRLFRIEND TO ME!"
I bit my lips hearing what he called her and remembered how that used to be my title.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO HER YOU CRAZY BITCH?"
I dragged Blondie into the washroom and shut the door in his face.
Lori stood there, not as frightened as before but still scared enough to numb her legs.
"I'm his ex-girlfriend, yes, it's true. I don't care if you're dating him after all I can tell he's one good-looking guy and I don't know why any girl wouldn't like him. You can do whatever you like with him, just as long as you don't have sex with him. Got it?" I hated her so much in that moment, because she was taking my spot, I wanted her to feel pain, yet I could not let her experience as much pain as death.
She stared at me for what seemed like the longest time, before her annoyance finally broke free. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" She screeched. God her voice is more annoying than Elli's. "YOU'RE JUST SOME OVER-JEALOUS EX-GIRLFRIEND, THAT'S ALL! I'VE SEEN PEOPLE LIKE YOU! YOU JUST WANT ME TO KEEP AWAY FROM KEVIN BECAUSE YOU'RE CONSTANTLY IN THE STATE THINKING KEVIN'LL STILL BE BACK WITH YOU SOMEDAY, BLAH BLAH BLAH!"
Okay, she's got some guts saying that to me! "LISTEN GIRL! DO I LOOK LIKE I EVER HAVE ANY HOPE WITH HIM? DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO GET BACK WITH HIM? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? YOU FRIGGIN' DRAGGED ME INTO A WASHROOM WHEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME! TALK ABOUT RUDE! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT'S ALL!"
"LISTEN, I'M TRYING TO WARN YOU—"
"YOU WANT KEVIN AND I'M AN OBSTACLE, WELL GUESS WHAT? HE'S MINE NOW AND YOU CAN BACK OFF BECAUSE YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO YOU HAVE NO HOPE. I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM TALK SO COLDLY TO ANYONE BEFORE! YOU MUST PRETTY UNPOPULAR WITH HIM!"
"EXCUSE ME I REALLY DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM AND FOR YOUR INFORMATIONS I WAS MORE POPULAR THA—"
"STOP BEING RUDE AND LEAVE US ALONE! I'M HAPPY RIGHT NOW AND I DON'T NEED YOUR THREATS OF DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM. I'M 16, WHICH IS PRETTY CLOSE TO 18, AND I THINK I'M MATURE ENOUGH TO MAKE MY OWN DAMN DECISIONS! HAVING MY MOTHER MEDDLING IN MY LIFE IS ENOUGH I DON'T NEED YOU!"
"WHAT PART OF THIS DO YOU NOT UNDERST—"
"SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, STOP ACTING LIKE THIS OVER-JEALOUS GILRFRIEND BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A LOSER AND IT JUST MAKES PEOPLE HATE YOU, OKAY? DO ME A FAVOUR AND GO ANNOY SOME OTHER HOMELESS PEOPLE BUT DON'T BOTHER LOVERS ESPECIALLY ON VALENTINE'S DAY!" She turned around to open the door when my hand slammed on it so hard I could almost feel the room vibrating.
"AH!" She screamed in terror and spun around only to see my horrifying expression. "WHAT ARE YOU DOIN—"
"SHUT UP! I'M SICK OF YOUR VOICE SO YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF FOR ALL I CARE BUT I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU RIGHT NOW AND FINALLY YOU'RE GOING TO ZIP THAT FUCKING TRAP OF YOURS AND LISTEN TO ME YOU FUCKING BITCH! I DON'T CARE ABOUT KEVIN, AND I DON'T CARE WHETHER HE'S GOT A NEW GIRLFRIEND EITHER! I SAID NOT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOU BITCH! LOOK AT ME DAMMIT! LOOK AT ME!" I grabbed her face to look at me in the eyes.
"I'M FUCKING DYING! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? DYING! I'LL BE GONE FROM THIS WORLD WITHIN NO MORE THAN 8 MONTHS! DO YOU KNOW WHY? DO YOU? NO YOU DON'T! SO DON'T FUCKING JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS! BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHY! I HAD SEX WITH HIM AND NOW I HAVE AIDS! AND NOW I'M DYING BEFORE HIM BECAUSE HIS IMMUNE SYSTEM IS BETTER! WHILE YOU! IGNORANT LITTLE BRAT! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU WHILE YOU'RE GIVING ME THAT BULLSHIT OF YOURS! YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I SHOULD JUST TELL YOU TO FUCK HIM IN THE RESTAURANT RIGHT NOW! YEAH! I'LL DRAG HIM IN AND I'LL WATCH YOU TWO FUCK! I SHOULDN'T TELL YOU THIS! I SHOULD LET YOU DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT AND I CAN JUST WATCH YOU DIE!
"BUT NO-O-O! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU BECAUSE I'M SO DAMN NICE WHILE YOU'RE JUST BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU? HE HAS AIDS! IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH HIM YOU'LL DIE! IS THAT JUST SO FUCKING HARD TO COMPREHEND!"
She looked at my raged expression with her own frail and frightened face. "Y-You're… you're lying…" She finally stuttered.
I slammed her against the bathroom door in frustration as she let out a cry of pain. "You brainless piece of shit." I shook my head and laughed like I was mad. "Stupid, stupid me… what was I think? Telling you? I should just let you die and take satisfaction in your pain… And watch you being ditched by Kevin… because THAT'S WHAT HE DID TO ME!"
She shrunk back but I could see the fear in her eyes as clear as day. "So go ahead." I told her. "Go fuck him. Go fuck him a hundred times if you don't believe me. But think about it. This is your life." I opened the bathroom door drunkenly. "You can go now." I told her.
But she stood there still staring at me.
"YOU CAN GO NOW!"
But she still didn't move.
Finally Kevin came and took her in his arms. "Okay, what the HELL DID YOU DO TO HER YOU—"
I slammed the bathroom door in his face.
I sat on the ground leaning against the bathroom door for only about 2 minutes when someone knocked on the other side. "Sakura… you better come out soon… I didn't make reservations for this washroom…"
"Get the hell away from me…" I mumbled with my hands over my face.
"You can't stay in there forever…"
"Yes I can…"
"Then I'm coming in to drag you out."
"Right. You're really going to come into the girl's washroom."
"If that's what it takes to get you out."
I rolled my eyes and didn't say anything. There was no point in arguing with him. Yet to my surprise, the door was suddenly pushed open as I was knocked to the ground.
"Sorry about that…" He said walking in and closing the door behind him.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? GET OUT YOU STUPID ASSHOLE! OUT!"
"Woah!" He held his hands up as if to defend himself. "Don't eat me! I'm just here to make sure you're okay…"
Nothing gets this guy mad! I swear! What the hell is wrong with him? "WELL I'M PERFECTLY FINE SO YOU CAN GET OUT!" I cried sitting down at the corner of the washroom.
"No you're not…" He said sitting beside me. "Listen, I heard what happened between you and Lori… and I also know everything that happened between you and Kevin…"
"WELL THANKS FOR MEDDLING IN MY PRIVATE LIFE!"
"Listen I know why you're mad at him, I want to beat him up too. He's a pretty bad guy—"
I stared at him.
"Okay, he's a real bastard." He finally admitted. "But right now I can tell you're upset mostly because of what happened with Lori… forgive her… it's Valentine's Day after all… spread some love…"
"She's not my boyfriend, lover or anything of that sort."
"See? That's what modern day people think. They assume Valentine's day is merely a day when lovers get together to have a romantic time… but that's not the case…"
I raised an eyebrow. "Elaborate."
"The true meaning of Valentine's Day isn't romance but Love. Love can be from anyone and can go to anyone. That includes your boyfriend, best friend, father, mother, siblings, teachers, friends, or even including people you don't know! Valentine's day is a day when you spread your love towards everyone… like Lori. Sure, she's been a real pain in the ass, but have some compassion, spread some love… forgive her, don't be mad at her… instead, love her… And let that love rise about the hatred…"
I looked at him sceptically. "So Valentine's Day isn't for lovers."
"Of course not!"
I kept looking at him not believing a word he just said. "Are you sure about that?"
"Definitely! Otherwise why am I taking you to dinner?"
"HEY!" I cried. "I take that very offensively!"
He let me hit him knowing fully well he deserved it. "I'm just kidding." He said grinning as he stood up taking my hand. "So you feeling better now?"
It suddenly occurred to me how easily he was able to snap me out of my heavy misery. "Yeah…" I admitted standing up. "So, what is the meaning of Valentine?"
"Okay, I admit, I lied… Valentine's day is specially made for lovers around the world…" He said sheepishly as we walked back towards our table.
"Now that's clear, why are you taking me out to dinner?"
"Can't it be simply out of my good deed?"
"No."
"Well, that's the truth."
"Right…" I rolled my eyes.
We spent the rest of the evening in the restaurant. I felt much better even though Kevin, Kenji, Elli and Lori's appearance two tables next to me did at times divert my attention and make me rather sad. But Syaoran managed to keep my attention to him with just one smart comment of his each time.
We came home at 11:00pm and I found a golden heart shaped locket on my bed stand with a note next to it. "Is this from you again?" I accused Syaoran.
He held his hands up in defence. "I was with you all night, it's not possible."
"Right." I took the letter and read it.
It was very thoughtful of you, dear child, to remember me and share a portion of your love with me on Valentine's Day. After all, what means the most are what comes from the heart and not what money can buy.
This locket was meant for my daughter whenever she came to visit me… but she hasn't been her for so long, and you've just been so considerate today that I think you deserve it. You may put your own, or someone's picture inside, and it's said that as long as you keep this locket with you, the person of the picture inside will always be with you.
I do hope you like it, dear child.
And I also wish you have the love-filled Valentine you deserve.
-Madeleine.
I was so shocked when I read this message. Also guilty. I made her so happy by that simple gesture yet I was complaining about having to give her anything. I looked at Syaoran. Even though he didn't read the letter, after I was done processing it through my mind he already knew. "This was meant for you…" I told him.
"No." He said. "It's for you. It's a token of the bounding you've now started with her. Do take care her, she's lonelier than you, and whatever good you do, will come back to you ten folds."
"But… you bought the present, you wanted her to have it… it was from your heart…"
"No, I bought the present, yes, but I wanted you to want her to have it… like she said, what comes from the heart means more than that which comes from money. You did wish for her happiness even if it took you until now to realize that."
I looked down at the locket and could almost hit myself for my selfish thoughts earlier.
"So, do you want me to take a picture of you right now so you can put it in the locket? I can probably go buy a disposable camera right now…"
"I want a picture of you." I told him with a straight face.
"Oh. Fair enough." He reached into his wallet and pulled out a picture of him probably taken from a year ago and handed it to me.
I smiled, opened the locket and carefully slipped the picture in, and closed the cover over it, and I knew I would keep this safe with me no matter what.
"I'm very flattered." He said.
"As you should be." I replied.
"Well, I better be going now, and you should try to get some sleep tonight…" He said as he carried me up and placed me on my bed. "Good night angel, I'll see you later." He kissed me on my cheek and turned around to leave.
"Wait." I said.
"Yes?" He asked turning around.
"You said 'see you later'. What does that mean? Do you mean, see you later, or see you tomorrow? You're coming back tomorrow, aren't you?"
He hesitated. "We'll see."
"No! I want you to come see me tomorrow!"
"Sakura…"
"Please?" I begged.
"I… I won't promise anything I can't fulfill."
"Why won't you come tomorrow? Do I annoy you?"
"It's not that…"
"Then what is it? Tell me!"
He looked at me but didn't say anything.
I reached forward and grabbed his hand. "If you can't promise me you're not leaving me tonight."
"Sakura, I have to go…"
"No you don't! I want you to at least stay with me tonight if you're not coming tomorrow!" I cried feeling tears stinging my eyes.
He looked a bit worried, but finally sat down on the bed beside me. "All right." He said. "I'll stay with you tonight."
"Really?" I smiled even though my eyes were still wet.
"Yes, really."
"I'll ring the nurses to get you some pyjamas."
"Not, it's quite all right, I'll be fine like this…"
"Okay." I replied happily. "Then I'll stay dressed like this too." I looked at him and somehow, a thought occurred to me. "Kiss me goodnight." I told him.
"I already did…"
"No. That wasn't enough." I smiled mischievously. "I want a Valentine kiss."
He blinked. "What?"
"How do people kiss on Valentine's Day?"
"Sakura…"
"Yes? What's wrong? Are you scared you might catch my disease? Well for your information it can't be passed on this way, only if you have sex with me you'll get my disease which is why I trust to sleep in the same bed as you."
He chuckled a bit. "It's not that… I don't mind… but if I do kiss you it might not end too pretty…"
"What." I rolled my eyes. "Afraid I'll be too attached to you?"
"No…"
"Just do it, I don't care what happens, I just want to end a beautiful Valentine's Day in the most appropriate way."
"Okay then." I closed my eyes as he leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips.
But he didn't go any further and instead only pulled back. Suddenly I remembered the night when Kevin came and I remembered how I'd begged him and he had kissed me the same way. I felt tears in my eyes and I began to cry.
"Shh… it's okay…" He said hugging me to him.
"Oh God…" I wept. So he knew… he knew what happened between me and Kevin probably when he read Kevin's mind during dinner… and he knew I was asking him to kiss me the same way as I'd asked Kevin to kiss me… he also knew he had no right to give me a deep kiss and the fact that giving me a light kiss would only remind me of the night when Kevin kissed me for the last time. Oh God… he knew my mind more clearly than I did! But people never trust other people's words unless they truly experienced it themselves… I finally believed what he said about it not ending too pretty, but it's too late now… If only I'd listened earlier…
I cried against his chest. "Why did he do that to me… why did he do that? Why doesn't he love me… did I do something wrong?"
"Shhh… it's all going to be okay… it's not your fault… try and understand that… you did nothing wrong… he was simply being a pompous bastard, you did nothing wrong angel…"
"So why doesn't he love me? Why did he leave me?"
"Because you two aren't meant to be… it's not your fault at all… you loved him truly with all you could give… it's his fault, that's where it went wrong… don't cry now…"
He lay down on the bed as he helped me do the same. I hugged him tightly and wondered why Kevin could not be as nice as Syaoran was to me.
He patted me gently; telling me soothing words as slowly, I stopped crying and my eyes became heavy.
"Do not ever blame yourself…" He was whispering. "Remember this, it's not your fault…"
I sighed one last time and snuggled close to him. "Don't leave me, Syaoran…" I whispered. "When I wake up tomorrow morning, I want to you next to me, understand?"
He didn't say anything, but I was too tired to pursue him to promise me.
Stay with me…
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Author's Note: I shouldn't say this, but the next chapter will be the last chapter of Sakura. After that it'll be Orubia and Yelen, and Kevin, and Lori, and Madeleine as all your unanswered questions will be answered. I had planned to make this chapter and the next the same one, but I realized that would be way too long.
8215 Words… Longer than all the other chapters…