Note: Thanks to Mr. Pooch for the wonderful review. Sorry about the short and seemingly incomplete first chapter. I hope this longer one will bring a lighter mood to the story. I intend to add more chapters and as usual, welcome your comments and critiques.
An event had to be nothing short of enormous to drag partying Bohemians away from their celebration. This event, however, had them silent and sober. The five occupants of the garret now stood around a table absolutely motionless. Something happened a few minutes ago. The fact remains that they were now heavy one member: the proclaimed 'child of Toulouse'. The lengthy period of awkward silence was followed with the lengthy period of awkward gawking. A newborn abandoned by its mother was now dozing on their cluttered counter. Accustomed to the fast-paced life of a revolutionary, The Doctor piped up.
"It's not doing anything."
"Is it broken?" the Musician inquired, voice filled with concern. Reacting to the cacophony, the sleeping baby stirred.
"Shhh! It's moving!" Audrey shushed. The Bohos gasped and waited, hoping it would do…whatever it was supposed to do. To their disappointment, the toddler turned around and went back to sleep.
"Hey!" Toulouse chirped, apparently quite amused by something. "It kind of looks like you!" He said to the Narcoleptic Argentinean.
"He's right!" All but the tango dancer agreed.
"Maybe it's another Narcoleptic?" Posed Toulouse happily.
"No!" The Argentinean said scooping up the infant. "This is a baby!" He explained in his heavy accent "This, is a person from Buenos A…" As he pointed to himself, his eyes crossed and unfocused. Before he could finish, the dancer was on the floor snoozing with the bundle of joy in his arms.
"It's a baby!" Toulouse exclaimed at the 'great discovery'. So they started rejoicing for finally deciphering the identity of mysterious object.
"Aha!"
"Oh! So that's what it is!"
Terribly upset with the explosion of noise and its fall (with the Argentinean), the child's face twisted and formed a frown. Suddenly it burst into an all-out cry. Snapping their heads around, the Bohemians crouched near their unconscious friend. Frantically trying to decide what to do, everyone started pointing fingers.
"Look what you did Toulouse!" Audrey accused.
"Me? No!" The dwarf declared.
"Maybe it's thirsty!" said Satie.
"Thirsty!" The stagehand repeated with a glint in his eye. "Then some Absinthe will fix it right up!" At that, The Doc took the baby from the Argentinean and grabbed a bottle of their favorite drink.
"No!" The others cried as they all moved to stop the Doctor from pouring the green liquid into thing's mouth.
"Why not! It makes us happy!" He protested as he tried to move the bottle closer with three of his friends hanging off his arm.
"Babies shouldn't have alcohol!" Audrey said
"What do you know?"
"I'm a writer! I've read books!"
"Satie said it was thirsty!" blamed The Doctor
"I…I just said that it might be thirsty." The pianist countered nervously
"Fine. It's yours Toulouse, you take it!" Said the stagehand as he gave the boho his bawling baby. Having never held a baby before, the midget fumbled it clumsily until he got it in a comfortable position: dangling it upside down. For the perfectly obvious reason, which the four men failed to notice, the toddler's cry intensified if that was at all possible. Growing edgy, Toulouse glanced back and forth between his friends and the upset thing.
"What are we doing wrong?" He asked uneasily. Not knowing what to do, the bohemians stood and watched as the child, now wide awake, flailed its tiny arms in complaint. Seconds later, the Argentinean sprung to life.
"Whoa!" He exclaimed as he woke up to the sight of panic-stricken baby. "No no no no no!" The others now turned their attention to the narcoleptic. "If you were tango dancer, your partner would murder you! You hold your partner like this she smack you after she fall!" he yelled at Toulouse. The dancer took the baby and arranged it in Toulouse's arms in a similar fasion to a tango dip. "Like this! Hand on back! Hand on head! Then you have good posture!" He instructed.
Slowly, the infant's frantic cry diminished to a sob.
"Ah…" Toulouse gasped in realization.
"Why is it still making that terrible sound?" The doctor questioned impatiently as he could feel a head ache coming on. The Argentinean shrugged.
"It misses its can-can dancer?" suggested the writer. Suddenly a brilliant idea came to the baby's father. Toulouse looked around the messy room. Empty bottles, paintings, clothing, and instruments littered the floor. Then his eyes stopped on his stage make up kit. Grabbing his cane and limping over to it, the dwarf looked at his candidates.
"Satie? Too skinny. The doctor? Too bearded. The Argentinean?Too… Argentinean." He thought until he got to the last bohemian. "Audrey come here!" He directed with much excitement.
"What?" The author said very much confused.
"Come here!" Reluctantly, Audrey walked toward the cheery, short man. With great enthusiasm, Toulouse put the bundle down and grabbed his fellow artist. "Now don't move!" He warned as he opened the makeup box and withdrew a tube of lipstick.
"Toulouse…oh no. No!" The writer whimpered as he tried to scurry away. Meanwhile, the bohos looked on with great amusement.
"Come back!" The midget said catching Audrey's collar with his cane and pulling his unwilling client back. The stagehand came to Toulouse's aid as he gently tied their playwright's hands. With a big grin on his face, the actor applied can-can dancer like makeup. "Almost done!" Running over to the spectators, he grabbed the conductor's multicolored scarf. "May I take this?" Not having much of a choice, Satie undid his scarf and handed it to his friend. Toulouse frolicked to his complaining patron and turned his back to the bystanders. The dwarf finished and spun Audrey around for the bohemians to see. "Tada!" He said gloating, very proud of his work. The garret erupted with hysterical laughter.
"It's not funny." The writer said sincerely though it was very hard to take his words seriously. Lautrec had done a wonderful job. Eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush, and lipstick all expertly donned along with a makeshift rainbow scarf-bonnet to complete the look.
"It'll never know the difference!" Toulouse said picking up the baby correctly this time. "Look its mother!" The child's big round eyes studied the cross dresser. After a few moments, it giggled and clapped its hands.
"Well done!" the doctor said pounding the dwarf on the back. For the first time, Toulouse really looked at the smiling baby. Though it looked almost alien and hardly like himself, the bohemian came to appreciate that the same blood flowed through their veins. This, he would remember forever as the moment when he finally realized that he was someone's father.