"...I used to want to be like Sephiroth, so I joined SOLDIER." He started, his voice quiet. "After working with Sephiroth on several missions, we became friends." Friends? Cloud you didn't even know him! My thoughts started racing, maybe I should stop him now.
"You call that a friend?" Barret said in a sarcastic tone.
"Yeah, well..." Cloud said looking at the floor. "He's older than me, and he hardly ever talked about himself." He said quietly, he sounded like a little boy talking about his hero. I felt Cloud's gaze on me, I looked up wanting to speak but I didn't know what to say, there was nothing I could say. I looked at the floor and waited. I had to hear all this some time. I had to know exactly what he thought happened all that time ago.
"So I guess you'd call him a war buddy..." As Cloud continued I could still feel his azure eyes on me. "We trusted each other. Until one day..." He cut of and there was a silence. I looked up at him concerned. He had his right hand covering half his face and his eyes closed. Cloud… this was hurting him…
"...One day?" Aeris urged him. I was about to approach him when Cloud turned away from us.
"After the war it was SOLDIER's duty to put down any resistance against the Shinra." He said with more confidence. He seemed to find it easier if he didn't have to look at us.
"...........That was 5 years ago." He said, 5 years… sometimes it was fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday and at others it was like a half forgotten dream… a nightmare. "I was 16..." and I was 15… we were so young, how did we cope? Uh why am I saying 'we'?!
I listened to Cloud's story, he remembered every detail and his description of Sephiroths attitude was accurate, it matched what I had seen of him on our journey. What was going on?
"Sephiroth's strength is unreal. He is far stronger in reality than any story you might have heard about him." Cloud said. I instinctively put my hand over the area where he had struck me. I had wrestled with him for the sword…. Uh I can't think about this! I did my best to erase any image from my mind. These were the memories I wanted to forget.
"So... Where do you come in?" Aeris asked.
"Me?" Cloud said quietly… as he spoke his words from back then were rushing through my mind…
'I'm going to be the best there is,'
"I was mesmerised by the way Sephiroth fought."….
'Just like Sephiroth.'
'Sephiroth.... The Great Sephiroth.'
Why?! Why did we see so many great things in him?!
I looked up to see Red looking at me again… did he know? I bit my lip and looked away from him. I felt like everyone was watching me, like they all knew. How could I let the man I loved talk like this, I had to stop him but I just didn't know how
".........."
"......and then we reached Nibelheim." Cloud said. I looked at him, my eyes wide and my body started to shake slightly. I listened to every word he said, trying to make sense of it, trying to come up with a possible explanation. He knew too much for it all to be made up… but some details were wrong. I had waited for him at the gates of Niblehime. Sephiroth had come, the great Sephiroth but no Cloud.
"Yo wait a minute!!" Barret said. I looked up annoyed at him for interrupting Cloud's story. "Isn't that, um...? The name of Sephiroth's mother..." He asked. No one said anything, I wasn't even aware Sephiroth had a family, but to think of it everyone must come from somewhere. "I remember Jenova. That's that damn headless spook livin' in the Shinra building." Barret said.
"That's right." Cloud said. I had to hear what happened next, I couldn't cope with any more of this tension.
"Barret, would you please let us hear what Cloud has to say?" I snapped "You can ask questions later." I said. I regretted my words as soon as they passed my lips. I loved and respected Barret, I shouldn't have spoken to him like that… but I had to know and I had to know now!
"Tifa, I was only......" Barret said looking at me, a mixture of shock and concern in his eyes.
"Okay Cloud, continue." I said firmly looking at Cloud. I would make it up to Barret later. This was far too important.
"It's a reunion of childhood pals!" Aeris said grinning. The silly girl thought that was the reason I wanted to hear the story so urgently.
"......I was really surprised with Tifa." Cloud said, his back still to us.
He continued his story, a little hazy in parts and refusing to talk of what happened when he got home, not matter how much Aeris and Barret pleaded with him. I finally worked up the courage and asked.
"Cloud...?"
I said, "Did
you go into my house?" I asked quickly.
"Yeah..."Came the response. I looked up shocked.
"I thought you might be home." He said. What had I done the day the
soldier arrived? I remembered the tears… the disappointment,
I locked myself in my room. Did he walk in and leave without me realising?
"Cloud...?" I said again.
"Did you go into my room?"
Cloud was silent for a few minutes.
"Yeah......." came the response. "And I found some Orthopaedic Underwear in a
drawer." He said laughing,
"Cloud!!!" I said annoyed. This was not the time for jokes!
"Just kidding. Don't get mad..." He said sounding slightly hurt.
"...Cloud" I said quietly "We're talking
about something really important here." I was worried I had upset him so I
decided to quickly change the subject. !! "Did you play my piano?"
"Yeah, I jammed on it" he said and despite his back being to us I knew he was
smiling. "Just a little" he added. "I can read sheet music, too, you know....."
He informed me. At any other time I would have smiled. There was another silence when I heard Cloud
whisper,
"The letter..." letter? I thought back… from the son of the man who
ran the general store… what was his name? He had such a big crush on me and he
wasn't subtle about it. I smiled as I remembered the sweet boy… then he left
for Midgar. After Niblehime was destroyed I never heard from him again
"Did you read it? My letter?" I asked
feeling myself tense a little.
"I'd never do that!" Cloud said sounding
a little offended.
"Of course!" I said feeling re assured.
Cloud carried on his story then he started to describe a man I knew very well.
" 'And who are you?' I asked him, he told me his name was Zangan. and he travels around the world teaching children martial arts." Cloud paused. I gasped, I never knew Cloud and Zangen met…. Where was he now, did he die back at home. It was true he had come to Nibelhime to see me, to train me, Cloud must have been there otherwise he had no way of knowing.
" He went on about having 128 students all over the world but I wasn't really paying attention until he told me Tifa was one of his students. He said Tifa has good sense. And that she'll be a powerful fighter." He said quietly. I blinked back tears as I remembered my old sensei. He was an amazing man, he taught me so much, he said I had a natural ability. I would just be a weak little girl if it weren't for him. I owe him so much.
The next part of Cloud's story caused me more reason to blink back tears. He talked of when we set of for the mission, when my father went to ask Sephiroth to take care of me.
"Listen to me, Sephiroth. In case something happens..."
"...Trust me." Sephiroth had said, his voice so strong and confidant. Memories were filling my head now and there was nothing I could do to stop them.
"I'm Tifa. Nice to meet you!" I had said giving Sephiroth my brightest smile. He nodded his head at me, a man of few words. I remembered thinking how good looking he was, how unsure of me he seemed. Most importantly how much I wanted to prove myself, I wanted to show him I was not just some little girl, that I was the best guide in Niblehim and that I was strong and brave! I was always sad and disappointed that there was no Cloud but I wanted to make the best of a bad situation, I couldn't let it get me down.
"Mr. Sephiroth! Please let me take one picture for a memento! Tifa, can you ask him for me too......?"
I closed my eyes trying to block out the memories I had tried so hard to bury, trying to block out the sound of Cloud's voice… but it was useless.
"Am I... human?" Cloud said, his voices had gone quiet. I opened my eyes, I was shaking all over. I had never guessed the horrors contained in that reactor. "I didn't quite understand what Sephiroth was saying at that time. I was even more surprised by that fact that Shinra was producing monsters." Cloud concluded. There was a silence for some time, everyone absorbed into their own thoughts. Barret was the first to break it.
"Damn, Shinra! the more I hear, the more I hate 'em!" He said, his voice bitter.
"......who would have ever thought the Mako Reactor held a secret like that." I said.
"That would seem to explain the increase in the number of monsters recently." Red said, he then turned to Barret, "I think we should listen carefully to Cloud. Don't you think so Barret?"
"(Why you talkin' to me!?)" Barret asked.
" Let's take a rest." Cloud said, no emotion in his voice.
"Yeah, mebbe so. Wanna take a breather here?" Barret asked, everyone nodded. I sighed in relief, I had to get away.
"I'm… gonna go take a shower." I said as I hurried out of the room and down the hall, I kept walking at a fast pace until I reached the bathroom and locked myself in. I stood with my back against the door and tried to take in what had just happened. I abruptly wiped away a tear that had started to trickle down my right cheek. "Just don't think…" I thought to myself as I undressed and turned on the water in the shower. "Don't think don't think don't think…" I kept repeating as I washed my body and hair with the soaps and shampoo provided by the inn. I closed my eyes and let the warm water run over my body, I let out a sigh as I felt myself relax a little. I was suddenly shaken out of my calm state by a banging on the door.
"Tifa?" came a voice. "Can we talk… please." I gasped when I realised the voice belonged to Cloud.
"Shit" I whispered under my breath as I turned the water of and wrapped a towel around myself. I attempted to dry my hair with another towel.
"Tifa are you there?" Came Cloud's concerned voice.
"Y…yes." I said "Just a minute…" I said as I made sure the towel wrapped around me was secure. I paused with my hand on the lock. What was I going to say to him. I couldn't tell him my memories were different, I couldn't make him think he was insane, I was doubting my own sanity. Ok deep breath Tifa and just don't think! I opened the door. The cold air from outside hit me and it was freezing compared to the warm steamy air in the bathroom. Cloud's eyes travelled down my body and widened, his cheeks started turning a little red. I couldn't help but smile.
"Oh… your… um… sorry… I…." He said turning redder by the second.
"It's ok Cloud, I was done anyway." I said smiling at him. He nodded and composed himself.
"I need to talk to you." He said.
"Ok, go for it," I said smiling at him. He looked so damn sexy when he was all serious.
"Alone." He said gesturing to the right, I looked down the corridor to see Aeris stood watching us.
"Hi Cloud!" She squeaked as she winked at him. I felt my fingers curl into a fist.
"I tried to get rid of her, I told her I needed to talk to you alone but she kept following me!" Cloud hissed under his breath.
"Ok, come in here." I said. I'm sure I saw Cloud gulp as he entered the steamy shower room with me. The steam had cleared a little and the room wasn't as hot. We closed the door and it was only with Cloud in there that I realised how small the room was. There was a shower and the door was almost directly in front of it. Cloud and I were pushed together and I blushed as I put my hands on his chest to separate us.
"Tifa…that was really hard," Cloud said looking down.
"Yeah it was." I said looking at his face with concern. I was so worried about him.
"I'm worried about you." He said. I looked up shocked.
"Why?" I whispered. "I'm not the one who has to tell that awful story. I said as I put my right hand to the back of his head. He looked into my eyes and I felt myself melt. I loved him so much.
"But it's probably brining it all back… I know it is for me, but some bits are kinda hazy." He said.
"I know what you mean" I said quietly looking down. I felt his hands travel around my waist and pull me in closer to him. I looked up in shock.
"I have to tell them… all the story Tifa, all of it. The worst is yet to come… I know it's hard… it's hard for me to tell it…" He said, was he seeking my permission or warning me? I wasn't sure.
"It's ok," I said cutting him off. "What happened that night, it was awful, it changed everything but we can do this." I whispered.
"We?" He said looking at me.
"Yes we, we are in this together, I will help you tell this part of the story as much as I can. You don't ever have to do anything alone Cloud, you have me now." I said as I stroked his cheek with my hand. "Thank you." He whispered. One of his hands started to run up and down my back, the other stayed around my waist. Before I knew what was happening he was leaning in, his face was slowly coming towards mine. I closed my eyes, I knew there was nothing else I wanted more in the world than to be his…
"What are you doing in there?!" Came Aeris' voice accompanied by banging on the door. Both of our heads turned towards the door and I groaned in disappointment as I rested my head against Cloud's strong chest. I loved him so much it was starting to hurt… I just wanted to be with him. "Come on we want to here the rest of the story you've had a long enough brake, silly Cloud! Come tell us the story!" Aeris demanded as she banged the door even harder. Cloud glared at the door.
"I'll go out and let you get changed," He said, anger in his voice despite him trying to conceal it. I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek.
"It's going to be ok Cloud"