I wrote this story around the end of school and just finished typing it up. This story was inspired by a dream I had about Folken and his messages, take note that this was when I was in my Folken crazed mode. I'm not always Folken crazed….umm….ya…….
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Beep – message deleted
"" – person speaking
Ita-answering machine
-"someone being cut off
Sixteen Messages
Folken flopped down on his favourite chair after a long day of work. Usually, he didn't work Saturdays but the company needed another person on the job so reluctantly, he had to go. Popping the lid off his can of beer, Folken pushed the play button on his answering machine and sat in his chair, enjoying just relaxing.
You have sixteen messages; message one the robotic voice of his answering machine said.
click "Yo man how's it going bro? If you can't figure it out yet its Van. Dude, I borrowed your car since you took the train and I needed it. Well, the piece of shit is busted. It broke down on Parkston and Sesame St. can you come and get me? Its really hot and I have to get home by three to watch all my ch- I mean football! So anyway come and get me, it really hot and-"
Beep Folken hit the delete button
Second message
" Hi Folken, it's Sally. I'm really sorry about killing your cat, it was an accident. It kind of freaked me out how you barley reacted. I'll call you latter, please don't do anything rash."
Third message
"Folken! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY CAR. ALL I DID WAS KILL YOUR STUPID CAT AND YOU GO SPRAY PAINT "SLUT FOR HIRE" AND MY PHONE NUMBER ON MY CAR DOOR! YOU'RE SO GOING TO-"
Beep
Forth message
"Hello Mr. Fanel, this is Sergeant Johnson. Your landlord has complained to us about how you've been stealing your neighbour's newspapers and putting black paint on their doors spy holes. I have to warn you if this keeps up-"
Beep
Fifth message
"Man could you please come and get me its really hot!-"
Beep
Sixth message
"Folken its Dilandau. Is Allen there? I know he is so stop trying to protect him. He deserves everything he has coming to him for selling all of "my little pony" figurines! ALLEN I KNOW YOUR THERE!...you better tell me were he is or else I'll-"
Beep
Seventh message
"Hello Folken, this is Doctor Colman. I have your medication ready. You can pick it up tomorrow or next week. Considering how freaked out you were about it, I'm thinking you'll want get ride of that fungus as soon as possible especially since it's on you're-"
BeepBeepBeepBeepBeeBeepBeep
Eighth message
"Hi Folken its Allen. Thanks a lot for promising not to tell Dilandau about the figurine thing. Man, who would have known that "my little pony's" could be worth so much money! I'm going out for a lobster dinner. Do you want to come? It's my way of saying thank yo-"
Beep
Ninth message
"Folken man, it's so hot out! Do you know how hot it is out here? I don't think you do or else you wouldn't leave your poor little dehydrating brother out in the hot scorching heat to slowly die and melt into nothing! Are you happy now? You're slowly KILLING ME! You know what I had to resort to… I stripped all my clothes off! Ya that's right, all my cloths and I put them on the top of this payphone. But then there's this old lady across the streets that's watching me, it's creepy I know. So I decide I don't like some old lady looking at 'that' so I decode to sit in your car. BUT NOOOOO! Seems I locked the keys in the car, your spawn of hell evil car! Does it think I'm not good enough to sit in it?...So I now have no clothes and have a old lady ogling me! I'm having such a bad day. To top it off, someone ran by the payphone as I was doing all this and stole my clothes. The nerve! Beep oh shit I'm Beep running out Beeping money Beep and I have Beep no more click…..
Beep
Tenth message
"Hey Folken its Chesta. Van phoned me and asked him to tape 'football' for him at three o'clock on channel six. But the only thing on is 'All my children' Does Van watch soaps?...Your brother is such a fa-"
Beep
Eleventh message
"I know Allen's there, FOLKEN! Don't try and deny it I know he's there! If you don't tell me I'll take drastic measures. Let me tell you, you will not like them on bit!-"
Beep
Twelfth message
"It's Van again! You're probably wondering how I'm phoning you. Well, you see there was this dude on the corner of the street talking on his cell phone. So when he'd finished, I asked if I could use his phone. For some reason, he wouldn't let me and started to walk away. Why wouldn't he let me Folken? I guess I overlooked the small fact that I'm naked but still… You'd lend your phone to a naked person right? Ok, stupid question. So he was walking away and no one walks away from me! So I tackled him to the ground and stole his phone and then I did the only logical thing I could think of. I ran. Now, I'm hiding in a ally because it turns out the dude was a member of the hells angels….So Folken how is your day going? Probably more exciting then mine, OH how's that fungus on you-"
BeepBeepBeepBeep
Thirteenth message
"Folken come get me. I'm not hot anymore. If you haven't noticed, it's raining…..I'm so cold! Do you know how cold it is out here? I don't think you do or else you wouldn't leave your poor little brother out in th-"
Beep
Fourteenth message
"Folken guess what! I saw the person that stole my clothes! He was wearing them! So, I ran him down and got my clothes back! Ha ha that loser…no one steal's from me and gets away with it! ...wait a second…..Folken did my read shirt have a number five on it?...shit the cops, gotta go!"
Click
Fifteenth message
"Hello Folken. You probably don't remember me but that's not the point. The point is you stole my newspapers! I want them back damn you! All Three hundred and sixty three!-"
Beep
Sixteenth message
"I know Allen's there!...Fine, don't answer me. Keep your secrets but if you won't tell me then I'll just have to find out what toenails smell like burnt. That's right, when you were at work, I snuck into your apartment and stole your shoebox full of toenail clippings! OH look they're Meeeeeeeeeeelllllttttttinnnnnnng!"
Beep
Folken quickly grabbed his shot gun and took off in the direction of Dilandau's apartment.
Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring
Folken is not here at the moment please leave your name and a brief message and I'll get back to you Beep
"Folken its Van. Can you come get me? It's so cold. Well it's more mild and leaning towards cold then….." Van's voice fades into background.
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I'm so not having fun! Especially since I barely go on the computer anymore! My poor baby, I miss you to! cry's in corner
01wing