Love, Fate & Everything In Between
Chapter 2 - The Truth That Lies In Pain...
Dreams are a funny thing, they can reveal a person's inner most feelings and desires and
yet make absolutely no sense to the dreamer. Dream allow for any possibility and yet reamin little
more then a fuzzy memmory to the waking world. It was hidden amongst a deep fog and several
strange visions of farm animals and pizza's that Tino found himself. He looked about for some
semblance of order in where we was but the more he watched the stranger things seem to get, as
a cow suddenly began to fly over a nearby moon and the sound of some far off bells began to
chime. Just as quickly as it began, all the action that passed around him seemed to stop and was
replaced by a lone figure standing far off in the mists. With little else to do tino began his trek
toward the figure but no matter how far he seemed to walk the figure never seem to grow any
closer. Just as his efforts began to seem for naught a voice drifted out of the mists, not so much
from the hidden figure but from everywhere and no where at once.
"So you've already said goodbye to carver and lor?".
Tino was taken aback as the words stabbed directly to his heart. He knew those words, he knew
who had said them, and all at once with this revelation the hidden figure that eluded him was
revealed. What he saw before him was the scene that was much more a nightmare then a dream.
He saw himself at a much younger age standing in front of tish and speaking verbatim the words
he had said to her so long ago.
"So how cool is it being discovered and all?".
Tino could do little but watch this tortuous scene play out before himself. It was bad enough when
he played it over and over in his mind, but to see it once more with his own eyes brought a fresh
opening to his wounded heart.
"That'll be great Tish, I can't wait".
Though he knew what was next he wished more then anything at that moment that he wouldn't
have to see it, not again, but all his anguish and desire was for naught for once again he was
forced to watch himself let Tish go, to watch her as she pulled out of her driveway, tears in her
eyes and rode out of his life forever.
What kind of nightmare was this? Wasn't it bad enough he had to live with his regret every day,
now he couldn't even sleep without being haunted by what could have been? Was even his own
mind against him now? Steeling himself and his rage he took off at a dead run toward the fading
van and the younger Tino, but again he made no progress, they remained as distant as the past
itself.
"What is this?" Tino yelled into the deep fog "Why am I being forced to watch this?".
His answer came back as a defining silence, and as the scene before him faded back into the
mists Tino found himself alone in an empty fog, surrounded by nothing but a new longing for the
one he let get away. Tino tried but couldn't make himself wake up, his mind refused to
let him back into the waking world.
"What's the point of all this?" Tino asked to the emptiness he found himself in.
And much to his surpise he received a reply though it was far from clear. His mind was
invaded by a single question.
"What do you want?"
It was as if a new voice had suddenly spoken from somewhere outside this emptiness, and yet he
heard nothing.Tino looked around but still saw nothing, and yet he somehow knew someone or
something was waiting for an answer to their question.
"I'd really like to wake up now, I've got work in the morning and those reports don't file
themselves" Tino said, hoping to draw the person out with a little humor.
Still the question persisted in his mind, demanding an answer.
"What do you want?"
"I want to wake up"
"What do you want?"
Tino was frustrated now, he'd answered this imposing question, why was it still burned into his
mind, why was he still here?
"What do you want?"
"How about I want to know who's doing this to me." Tino asked aloud.
Still he found himself without a reply and still the question plagued him.
"What do you want?"
Much to Tino's horror he saw his younger self begin to form again in the far off mists and the
scene he had just witnessed eailer begin to play again
"So you've already said goodbye to carver and lor?".
Tino felt his eyes begin welling with tears, the pain and frustration of having to watch yet again
bringing him to a brink he didnt want to go over. Looking inside himself he realized what it was he
was really being asked, he knew what answer the question was waiting for.
"I want to do it again." Tino yelled out. "I screwed it up. I was kid to stupid to realize what love was
and so I let her go. I've spent my life wondering what might have been and hating myself for what
is. You want to know what I really want? More then anything else? A second chance" Tino finally
admitted, more to himself then to the question waiting in his mind.
Tino had no idea what followed, as the next moment he found himself back in bed, his eyes slowly
opening to the piercing daylight coming through a near bye window. Sitting up and stretching he
looked around and wondered where the hell he was. His bedroom wasn't this clean, hell he could
see the floor, a rare feet for him considering how he just dumped all his work suits on the ground
before he got into bed. For that matter what the hell bed was he in? Tino looked around at his
surroundings, his mind still foggy from sleep but insisting that there was something familiar about
where he was. Shaking his head slightly he tried to clear his mind and think. The last thing he
remembered clearly was coming home from another typical day at work, grabbing something to
drink and thinking the same thoughts he thought every night. He traced his steps in his mind
recounting his last action as removing his work clothes and crawling into his bed and retiring for
the night. Yet now when he woke up he found himself not where he had expected but somewhere
different yet oddly familiar. Then reality seemed to hit him all at once, his surroundings crashed
into his mind with alarming clarity. He did recognize this room, but he hadn't seen it in years. This
was his old room back in bahia bay, back in his old house before he had moved out and left
California entirely. How had he gotten here he wondered.
Could he have drank more then he remembered? Slightly unnerved he rolled to get out of his bed
but found the floor was much farther down the he thought and fell roughly to the floor, eliciting a
small woof of pain as he hit not so soft carpet that was his floor. Dazed and aching slightly Tino
rose up only to receive another shock to his already reeling mind. He had shrunk, not only that but
all his tone and definition he had managed to eek out over his teen years was gone. A horrible
possibility started to dawn on him, but it was an answer he prayed wasn't correct. Creeping
hesitantly over to his dresser near bye he took a deep breathe and peered into the attached
mirror. The face that stared back to him wasn't his and yet at the same time he knew it was for the
face that he looked upon was one he hadn't seen in years, one that hadn't seen a life of menial
nothingness and longing.
He was looking at a younger more bright eyes version of himself. Unsure of his next
move tino just stood there, lost in the fact that he was either dreaming or he had lost his mind and
was now insane. Try as he might however Tino was unable to rouse himself from what he was
sure had to be a dream, no matter how much he willed it every time he opened his eyes he still
found himself in his old room and his old self and he didn't feel insane, though really he didn't
know what it felt like to be insane so maybe he was.
"Whatever this is and whatever I may be this all seems real enough and I cant just sit in this room
and wait for something to happen." Tino mumbled to himself "I might as well enjoy this, at least I
wont have to show up for that meeting this morning."
Tino found with some amazement that he remembered the layout of his old room
rather clearly and quickly donned a set of clean clothes, noting with some amusement the rather
plain tastes he had in clothes back then. Turning he stared at the door leading out of his room,
slightly afraid to open it for fear of what lay on the other side.
"Oh well" thought Tino "it's as Tish once told me, If I must die I will encounter darkness as a
bride, and hug it in my arms".
So sayinghe turned the knob and opened the door, ready for whatever else this strange time
might bring
Author's note – Welcome to the end of chapter 2.I'm going to be honest, I'm still not happy with how this chapter turned out but I figured I'd better get it out before I drive myself insane over making it. I know this was alot of exposition but I need a transition between the future and past. I tried to make it all as interesting as possible so I hope you guys enjoy it somewhat. If its not clear from the story, Tino dosnt have any memmory of the dream state from the begining, as far as he's concerned he went to sleep in one place and woke up in another. Thanks for all the great reviews for my first chapter and sorry it took so long to update. Keep pouring in the nice reviews and I'll see you next update. Later days
Gerarddominus
10-05-2004
"This is a shout out to all my fans living in Christina Ricci"