The Truth of Emotion & The Lies of The Heart

The night hadn't gone very smoothly, Tino had tossed and turned all night unable to really sleep. His mind refused to shut up, seemingly at odds with itself over what he was going to say, what he was going to do. If he screwed this up everything that had happened, his whole second chance would be pointless and he honestly didn't know if he could stand that, knowing that he didn't even have what if any more. Morning came seemingly in the blink of an eye and Tino found that all too soon it was time for him to get up. Wearily he climbed out of his bed and stood unsteadily on his floor, feeling a lot more like his old exhausted self then he had since this whole event had began. He trudged out to the kitchen table unsurprised to see his mom was already up and working on her own breakfast

"Hey honey, you're up early. Is something on your mind?" she asked

"Just trying to figure out the best way to tell someone something and not have it ruin everything" Tino replied

"Well just be honest with her Tino, I'm sure she'll take better then you think"

"What her? Who said anything about a her, I was talking about Carver, you know I'm trying to figure out a way to tell him about his shoes, there….Oh forget it, thanks mom" Tino replied exasperated

"No problem. Hey Dixon's coming over later today, were going to organize the whole garage, you could always stick around and help. We can show off all your old baby toys and clothes"

"Uh ya, thanks but I'd rather take heartbreak over humiliation"

"Suit yourself, but you'll regret missing out"

Unable to reconcile his stomach to a decision on any sort of breakfast Tino retreated back to his room and changed out of his pajamas. Soon after Tino walked out his door and began to head towards Tish's house, still unable to come up with any words that could begin to express what he needed to tell her and knowing ultimately he'd have to simply improvise and hope they came to him when he saw her. Knocking nervously on a door he had stood calmly in front of a million times before he was hardly surprised when it was instantly answered by an impatient seeming Tish who has, he guessed, been waiting for him to arrive.

"Come in Tino, I've been up waiting for you to come by for a while now. I hope the explanation you promised is really good, you know how much acting in a play like this means to me" Tish said

Accepting the invitation Tino came inside and sat down on the nearby couch, trying to remain calm and steady his voice

"Ummm ok, look Tish, I know how hurt you must have been when you found out I lied to you but I only did it because I wanted to tell you something before you tried out and maybe even got cast. I didn't want to take the chance that you'd become some famous actress whose career started with this play, while I became someone who regretted never acting on feelings he refused to acknowledge."

"Tino, Don't…." Tish replied

"Please Tish" Tino cut her off "I need to get through this before I lost whatever little nerve I seem to have found. I lo….like you Tish, I mean I really like you, every time you smile at me its as if my inside suddenly flip upside down, every time you look at me I can feel my heart begin to beat faster. Whenever I hear you laugh a part of me loses itself in the sound. I've felt this way for a long time, longer then I could remember but I never knew what the feelings meant until recently. Once I realized how I felt about you, not just as a friend but as something more, I couldn't ignore it, I couldn't go on pretending I didn't feel something for you, so I decided to take this chance. I know we've been friends for a long time, and I know what saying this means and how badly this could ruin everything, but I don't care what consequence it brings, I've been a fool for lesser things. I just…I couldn't stand not telling you anymore. Please, even if you don't feel even slightly the same for me, don't just refuse what I feel, at least let me know I wasn't a huge fool today"

Tish seemed at a loss for words, every time she appeared to be about to say something, she would remain silent and the longer the silence went on the worse Tino began to feel. He had blown it, he had scared her off, he had ruined their friendship and now not only was he going to be rejected he was going to lose her as a friend.

"Tino I…I don't know what to say. I never knew you felt this strongly about me, I never knew you saw me as anything other then your brainy foreign vegan friend. I…I know how hard saying this must have been for you, but I don't know how I'm supposed to respond. I don't know how I feel about you Tino, I know you mean a lot to me, you've always been there when I needed you, you were the one who supported me when I tried to get the school to offer a healthy meat free lunch choice and you were the one who I knew I could always call if I need help rehearsing for a play or for an audience to practice my dulcimer in front of, even when you didn't want to. And all that means a lot to me Tino, but I don't know if all that means your more then a friend to me, I just cant give you an answer right now, I need time to think about everything. Maybe I feel the same about you but I wont know until I take some time and sort out my feelings, please understand I'm not trying to hurt you" Tish replied, unsure of how Tino would take it

"Wow, ok, Uhh I don't know what I was expecting, I mean hello what a dork, I pour my heart out and then just expect you to feel the same way? What was I thinking? Of course you need time, take it, take all the time you need I'll be fine" Tino replied, trying his best to stop the tears he could feel pressing to get out

"Are you sure Tino?" Tish replied hesitant

"No, not really, right now I'm in a lot of pain but hey I figure if I lie about it maybe it'll hold me over until you think things out" Tino said

The trip to Lor's house and the subsequent day passed with little event, Tino and Tish both did their best to act like nothing had happened while Carver and Lor were around, but if either of them had been paying close attention they would have seen how quiet both Tino and Tish were and how more reserved they both acted. Tino knew deep down that thing had changed though, he couldn't ever take back what he said to Tish and he knew she wouldn't ever forget it. Every time he closed his eye's he felt the pain of the rejection he knew was coming and he didn't know how he was going to be able to wait for however long it would take for Tish to sort through her feelings. Worse of all he knew his mom would know the instant he came home how things had gone and she'd try her best to cheer him up and he'd have to lie to her and pretend that it helped, but it wouldn't. So he just kept waiting, through the movie, through the games of pool, through the snack fest at It's a small Pizza after all, he waited for the future to come and with it an answer. All he could do was wait, just keep waiting for later days.

Authors Note- Hey look, wow, I updated, quick someone look for a blue moon. Anyway hope you guys enjoy this update, It's basically just the scene I had to write in order to move the story on . I couldn't keep putting of Tino's revelation to Tish forever. Once again I know it's shorter then some people would like, but I think for just this instance it needed to be short, It just wouldn't have the same drama if I did the big reveal and then an answer in the same chapter. I had some problems with the dialog to let me know if anything anyone said sounds OOC, I'm trying to work on that. Please keep up all the nice reviews and even throw in some negative ones if ya feel like it, and for the love of god read Awakenings, I can't stress this enough folks, that story survives on reviews and a small fan base so go help it along. Once you're done with that one go read Attic man's new weekenders story, He needs a shot in the arm to update it as well. Look for my next update soon; now that finals are done I should be able to write more, anyway, Later Days

"Personally I look forward to reviews from BeeKay, she's honest"